Those were Vicky's first words to me that morning.
Well, ok that's not exactly true. His first words were a very sleepy "mmmm morning" and then "what the hell, stop shaking me!" followed by "what's wrong?". So "oh fuck" were really like, his tenth and eleventh words. But they were his first words after I showed him the note from my mom so they're the only words I know for sure he was fully awake for.
After reading the note, but before waking up Vicky, I had made a panic filled dash towards the door, closed it, LOCKED IT, closed the blinds on my window and put some pajamas on. I'm not sure how I did all this because the only thing I can remember clearly after seeing the note was my head doing a running commentary of "ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit".
"What do we do?" Vicky asked me, his voice very quiet. I could hear the edges of panic in it but compared to my reaction he was like the love child of James Bond and The Fonz with how cool he was being. His apparent calmness seemed to be infectious because my heart suddenly stopped trying to consume my rib cage and make it's escape.
"How are you not freaking out about this?" I had to ask.
He let out a small laugh but there was no humor in it. "I'm too scared to freak out."
We were both sitting up in bed now and I reached over and gave him a hug. So far it had been about ten minutes since I woke up and saw the note and the initial panic had started to fade. I'm not sure if that had more to do with the time passing or the closeness of Vicky but whatever the reason I started to think a bit more clearly.
"So, I think the most comfortable bridge would be the one under the highway going towards the movies but the old train bridge might be good to live under too." I tried to end my lame ass joke with a laugh but it came out as a manic screech and I let it trail off. Vicky, however, gave me a thoughtful look instead of a "do you need to be committed?" one. Seeing that his first reaction to the suggestion that we live under a bridge was the exact same reaction I had when he joked about it, serious consideration, I felt a bit more of my panic slip away. This time when I laughed it sounded like a laugh.
"Um, Vicky? You know I'm kidding right?" I said repeating his words to me from last night. Wow, last night? It seemed so much longer than that. In fact, now that I thought about it, our entire relationship seemed like it had been going on much longer than the week and a day that it had. I guess that's only normal though when so much happens in such a short time.
Vicky shot me an embarrassed smile that quickly turned into a look of.....realization?
"Wow," he said wonderingly. "So that's what it feel like to want to do something stupid for the person you love."
I giggled. I couldn't help it. He wasn't trying to be funny, he said it with such complete seriousness, but that's exactly WHY it was so funny. "Welcome to my world." I said and giggled again.
Vicky cocked his head to the side and gave me an odd look before a smile crept it's way along his face and a giggle of his own broke through his lips. We laughed together for a few seconds before stupid reality once again showed up where it wasn't wanted and our good moods were again replaced by worry. At least this time it wasn't blind panic though, that was something.
"So what do we do, seriously?" Vicky asked quietly.
I sighed. "There's nothing we can do except go down there and see what she wants."
"What do you think she's gonna do?" His words sent my mind into overdrive and a million horrible scenarios played out in my head. She'd never let us see each other again. She'd tell Vicky's dad and HE'D never let us see each other again. She'd make me change schools. She'd let us see each other but forbid us from touching.
On and on it went but I'd calmed down enough to let a bit of logic get in the way of my overactive imagination. I didn't think she'd do any of that. I'd known my mom my whole life (ha.ha.) and none of those possibilities seemed like a realistic way for her to react to this. The problem was I had no alternatives. And that was the really scary part. Not knowing.
I shook myself out of my thoughts and realized I still hadn't answered Vicky. "I don't know." It was the only answer I had. "If she tells your dad how will he react?"
He was thoughtful for a while and I wondered if he was playing out the same situations that I was. I studied his face while he thought. His smooth tan skin was lit up by the bit of morning sun still shining through the blinds. His moist lips were pursed in concentration in the most adorable way. His shining eyes stared off into the distance, still full of beauty and life even though they were clearly not focused on anything. Not to mention the fact that he was still naked and the blanket wasn't covering up anything except his legs. He was heartbreakingly beautiful and despite the situation I soon found myself with a painful erection. Damn thing, didn't it know it was the cause of all this in the first place? Bad penis, bad!.......Ok, I'm sorry. I can't stay mad at you. You're forgiven.....I love you....
Let's just ignore that shall we?
Some things, however, can't be ignored. While Vicky was still lost in thought I quickly reached down and pulled my cock up so that it was held against my body by the waistband of my pants. It was still erect but at least it was hidden. I really hoped it would go down before we had our 'meeting' with my mom. The last thing I needed was to have even a partial hard on while talking to my mom after she caught us naked in bed.
Vicky finally snapped himself out of his thoughts. I say finally but it couldn't have been more than a minute really. His eyes lost that glassy far away look and instantly became about a thousand times more beautiful and perfect.
Yeah, this erection was here to stay.
"I don't know." he said. "I mean, I'll probably get a talk since he's a doctor and all but it's never really come up before. I never thought to ask 'Hey Dad, how will you react if my boyfriends mom catches us having sex?' ya know?" He smiled briefly but I could tell his heart wasn't totally into the joke. Like me there were too many unknowns for him to feel comfortable.
"Well, I guess we should get this over with." I said without a trace of enthusiasm and started to get out of bed.
Vicky reached out and grabbed my wrist. "No, let's stay here for a bit." He lay back down and then pulled me down next to him. We lay facing each other and he gently brushed a few strands of hair away from my face. "No matter what happens, I love you, and I wouldn't trade last night for anything." He smiled at me.
I returned his smile. "I know" I said softly and kissed him. It was a soft kiss but my lips lingered on his. It felt like the entire world had stopped to let us have this kiss. My mom, school, all our problems and worries were put on hold for as long as our lips were together and I never wanted it to end.
Sadly, in this case at least, all things must end. As if by mutual agreement we broke our kiss at the same time and shared a smile that was both sad and completely happy at once.
"Ok," Vicky breathed. "Let's go."
After Vicky got dressed we walked downstairs hand in hand. Was it a good idea to be touching considering the situation? I didn't know or care. This was the most stressful mom related situation I'd ever been in, even more than telling her I was gay or a certain incident with internet porn, my hand and a door that really should have been closed, and there was no way I was going into it without holding onto the one thing that could keep me from completely freaking out.
We walked into the kitchen and there was my mom, sitting at the table reading the newspaper. When we entered the kitchen she bent the paper, looked over at us and said "Have a seat guys."
It was......way too normal. I had expected.....well....I dunno but this sure as hell wasn't it. I started to get even more nervous but Vicky gave my hand a squeeze and we sat down together. When I sat down my foot brushed against something under the table. I took a quick look and saw a white plastic bag. I was about to lean down for a closer look when I heard my mom put the newspaper down. I looked back towards her and she was just.....looking at us. My momentary curiosity about the bag fled and was replaced with worried anticipation. Vicky squeezed my hand again. How does he always know the exact moments I need him the most?
"Well," my mom said. "Do you guys want breakfast?"
What the hell? She walks in on us naked, covers us up, finds our LUBE for Christ's sake, leaves a note on it telling us that we "need to talk" and then just offers us breakfast like it's a normal morning? Does she even know what I went through after waking up to all that? Is she doing this on purpose? What the hell is her game here?
"I don't think I'll be able to keep anything down until we talk about......things." I said shakily. Anger, frustration, fear, confusion and worry all fought inside me for the spot of the dominant emotion. I just needed this to be over with as soon as possible before I went crazy.
My mom sighed. "Alright, I wanted to wait for a bit, but I'll start. How long have you two been sexually active?"
"MOM!" I yelled. My face was burning and a quick glance at Vicky's red face showed he was just as embarrassed as I was.
"What?" my mom said calmly. "You knew what this talk was going to be about didn't you? I thought the location of the note would have been a dead giveaway."
I growled in frustration. Dammit, I did know what the conversation was gonna be about but how the hell am I supposed to react when my MOTHER asks me a question like that? Surprisingly, before I could say anything, Vicky answered her.
"That first night I stayed over." he said softly.
My mom looked at me disapprovingly. "Nathan! You didn't waste any time corrupting this poor boy did you?"
"WHAT?!" I screamed. I shot up out of my seat. "What the fuck mom?!"
Vicky was out of his seat almost as fast as I was. "NO!" he yelled "It wasn't Nate! I wanted it just as bad as he did!" His eyes instantly opened wide with shock as what he just said sunk in. His face turned the deepest shade of red I'd ever seen and he sat down with a look of embarrassed dismay on his face.
I didn't know what the hell to say. My mom had accused me of....I don't know what and my boyfriend told her how much he wanted sex from me and oh god this was the worst day of my life! I sat down next to Vicky and struggled to find something, anything, to say but my mouth wouldn't open. I was so angry but at the same time I wanted to just take Vicky in my arms and comfort him but I couldn't DO anything to break this horribly uncomfortable silence.
It was in that silence that I noticed a strange noise coming from my mom. It sounded like she was taking a bunch of short breaths through her nose. Was she hyperventilating? I glanced over at her and saw her hand was covering her mouth but not from shock or anything like that, it was almost like she was......holding back laughter? No she couldn't be.....
She snorted and a small gasp escaped her closed mouth.
SHE WAS! She was laughing! My mouth dropped open and when she saw that she completely lost it. Peals of laughter burst from her mouth and she buried her head in her arms. Her shoulders heaved as her laughter bounced off the walls and surrounded us. I looked at Vicky. He looked at me. I'm sure our shocked expressions were perfect mirrors of each other. My mom kept laughing and suddenly, finally, a single emotion won the battle that had been raging inside me since we got down here: Confusion.
I didn't know what to think. Why was she laughing? I mean, I know she was laughing at us and I really should have been angry at that, but this just wasn't a laughing situation you know? When I came down here the last thing I expected was my mom to turn into a laughing maniac. Maybe seeing us naked together drove her insane? That would......suck?
The laughter finally died down and we held hands again, looking at her. She lifted her head up and wiped her eyes. Unlike me and Vicky once my mom was done laughing she got herself under control pretty quickly. No follow up giggle fits or undignified air gulping. One more reason to hate her right now.
"I'm sorry." she said still smiling. I waited for her to continue but she didn't. She had that look on her face, the one she gets when she's about to go on with her interrogation, and I groaned. After all this she was still going to grill us? I almost wished she'd just punish me so I could get the hell out of there.
She never asked us anything though. In fact after my groan and a few seconds of looking back and forth between us her features softened a bit and she actually sighed. She smiled at us again but this time it was....nicer somehow.
"I really am sorry." she said. "I didn't mean to laugh like that."
"Then why did you?" I squeaked. Ugh, that was supposed to come out a lot more manly and forceful with an implied 'woman' at the end.
My mom smiled, but thankfully didn't laugh at my stupid little noise. "When I walked in on you two last night I think you almost gave me a heart attack. I knocked on the door for almost five whole minutes before trying to open the door. I thought you were both passed out or hurt or maybe even dead. Imagine my surprise when instead of a couple of corpses I see two naked boys sleeping almost on top of each other and then imagine my shock when I saw a bottle of lube just lying there on the bed." My face once again turned bright red and I didn't even have to look at Vicky to know his was doing the same. Our hand tightened around each other while my mom continued. "I can't even describe how that feels, walking in on your son and his boyfriend after they had sex, but it isn't the greatest feeling in the world. I'm not mad...but I did kind of want to get you back for that so I left that note and decided to have a little fun. I just never expected Vicky of all people to come out with an outburst like that."
"Wait! You were just.......MESSING with us?" I yelled.
"Yes" she nodded and smirked a bit.
I don't think there is a single word in any language on Earth or on any far away alien planet to describe what I was feeling. It was a mixture of relief, anger, surprise and a slight urge to spontaneously combust.
I still had questions though. This whole thing was getting too weird for me and I just wanted to get everything out in the open so I could leave and go throw up for the next five hours.
"So.....you never really wanted to talk about anything?" I asked hesitantly.
"Oh, I wanted to talk to you, just not about how long you two have been scr-"
"MOM!" I yelled.
"What?" she asked innocently but then gave herself away with a slight smirk. Jesus! This woman was supposed to be my mother and she was acting more like...like.....Jason! At that moment I was so glad that Jason wasn't older and my mom wasn't younger because if they ended up getting together they would make life miserable for any poor kid born out of that union. Of course now I have about a million other unpleasant thoughts in my head so I'm just gonna never think about that again. Yeah, never again.
"So, what did you want to talk us about?" I asked. I could feel my face getting slightly warm, like it was preparing itself for the embarrassed blushing that whatever she said next was gonna cause. Great, now my own BODY is expecting the worst. I squeezed Vicky's hand again. If he wasn't here with me I think I might have literally died from this experience.
"Well, if you have to know right away, I wanted to have a talk with you boys about being 'safe'." she said and looked at me expectantly.
I didn't say anything at first. I don't think my brain was working properly yet because the first thing that popped into my mind was 'did she buy me a gun?' which was followed by 'no, that's stupid, did she buy me a taser?' which in turn was followed by 'did someone threaten us?'. None of these were right, as I'm sure you can guess. My mom just sighed and said "You boys never even thought about safe sex did you?"
Oh! SAFE! I get it now. That actually made a lot more sense than the gun thing when you think about it. But, wait did she just say 'safe sex'?
"MOM!" I yelled again. "You....I....but..." Ok this wasn't as bad as before but still I REALLY didn't need the sex talk from my mom. Besides, what could she even know about 'it? Ah! There we go! The perfect logical argument to get out of this. "But what do you know about it? I mean, isn't this like a 'dad' thing?" I actually regretted that last part the moment I said it. My mom still had some serious unresolved issues with my dad and I really didn't mean that as a cheap shot. I hoped she wouldn't get too pissed at me.
Instead of yelling or completely closing down though her smile actually got wider. "I agree. That's why I asked Vicky's dad over to help."
"WHAT?!" This scream was from Vicky. He shot up out of his chair and, because our hands were still locked in a death grip, ended up pulling me partly out of my chair. I decided to stand up next to him. If she wanted to make this a tag team match I wasn't gonna just abandon my partner! "You told my dad about this?! Oh god oh god oh god! Wait, what did you say to him? No! Don't tell me! Wait, tell me, I need to know!" He was seriously panicking. I guess there was a limit to how open and trusting he was with his dad. It's weird though, as completely not ok as I was with this, it wasn't as bad when it was happening to someone else. I instantly felt bad at that thought. This wasn't just 'someone else' this was my Vicky and I knew exactly what he was going through.....but I was still glad the spotlight was off me for a bit.
"Calm down!" my mom exclaimed. She seemed to be pretty unsettled. I understood. It was still hard for me to get used to the idea that Vicky wasn't as quiet and innocent as he always seems and I've been exposed (heh) to this side of him a lot more than her.
"I'll calm down when you tell me what he knows!" Vicky yelled. He was a bit quieter this time though and I guess that was good enough for my mom.
"I told him everything." my mom said simply. Would it have killed her to at least act like she regretted it?
Vicky's entire body, so filled with tension just seconds ago, completely deflated and he collapsed back down into his chair. He let out this....noise that was somewhere between a moan and a wail. I sat down next to him and put my arm around his shoulder. His head instantly rested on me and I heard him say softly, "Now I'm too scared not to freak out."
Call me a horrible person but I had to fight hard to keep a giggle or two from slipping out of my mouth.
"Vicky," my mom said softly (oh, yeah, now she sees how upset this is making him), "He's not angry. He just wants to make sure you, both of you, are safe. He's a doctor so he's probably the best person to get this talk from."
I hated to even think this right now but some small part of my brain where logic wasn't quite yet slaughtered by emotion recognized that she did kinda have a point. I just wish the doctor in question wasn't also the father of my boyfriend. You know, in everything I've read, watched or heard about gay relationships the one thing that never seems to get covered is how a guys accepting dad is gonna react to finding out his son is having sex with his boyfriend. If Vicky was a girl I'd know exactly what to expect. I'd just have to sit here and wait for the inevitable ass kicking. As it was, I didn't know what was gonna happen. He seemed like a cool guy from what I saw and from what Vicky told me but adults seem to get weird when it comes to their kids and sex for some reason.
My mom's words didn't seem to comfort Vicky that much. He wouldn't even look her in the eye. It was weird that he wasn't this upset when I asked him about how his dad would react before but I guess it's different when your confronted with the reality of it instead of having it be just a 'what if' that you might have to deal with in the future.
We sat there in silence for what seemed like hours but really couldn't have been more than five or ten minutes. I held Vicky tightly and gradually I could sense that he might just be starting to calm down a little bit. He didn't say anything, or even move, but he was slowly starting to feel like his old self. I can't really explain it but it was like he fit in my arms better when he wasn't upset and I could feel him start to fit again.
I wasn't sure how I felt though. I wanted to be upset and I wanted to be scared but for some reason I didn't feel much of anything. I didn't know if it was because my earlier emotional......weirdness had overloaded whatever part of the brain controls what you feel or if it was because my heart wouldn't let me feel anything until I was done making Vicky feel better. I didn't have too much time to think about it because just then the doorbell rang.
If my arms were a round hole and Vicky was a square peg slowly changing into a round one the sound of that doorbell instantly turned him into a trapezoid. He stiffened in my arms and tried to pull away instinctively but I held him tightly and, while he didn't relax, he at least stopped fighting to get away.
With an "I'll be right back" my mom got up and answered the door. I recognized the sound of Vicky's dad's voice as they said hello but I didn't get any hint about what his mood was like. Was he angry? Sad? Upset? Did he not care? Was he out for revenge? Was he going to come in here wielding an ax and kill me for 'defiling' his precious angel? Was he going to slap Vicky on the back and say "That's my boy"?
Why can't I just turn my brain off sometimes?
My mom and Vicky's dad walked into the kitchen and when his dad saw us he stopped short. He had a look of surprise and then sadness on his face. Oh great, he was disappointed. Was he disappointed in Vicky? In me? In both of us? Was he going to disown Vicky? Was he going to forbid us from seeing each other? Was he going to-
"Hey guys, why so sad?" he asked gently. His look of sadness stayed on his face and I suddenly realized that he wasn't disappointed......he was concerned. "You know we're just gonna have a harmless talk right? Nothing to get this upset over."
"Um," my mom said. "I think this might be my fault actually." She smiled sheepishly.
"Oh, Julia, you didn't." Vicky's dad said with a sigh.
"I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself." she replied.
He looked at us again and then looked back to my mom. "Maybe you should tell me exactly what you did to traumatize them like this." He didn't sound angry though, he sounded.....amused? He got up, I guess my mom motioned him out of the room so they could talk privately, and left the room. Vicky looked up at me and I looked down at him. We didn't say anything. We just stared at each other with the growing feeling that the entire world was completely insane and only we knew it.
I suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of laughter coming from the TV room. It was cut off suddenly, like the person laughing was trying to suppress it, and I let out a sigh. My mom must be telling him everything that she did to us. And he was laughing. What is WRONG with people? Seriously.
They came back into the room a few minutes later and I could tell that they were both trying very hard to keep their faces neutral. They sat down across from us, shared a look and then both covered their mouths with exaggerated casualness. When the hell did they become such good friends anyway? They seemed way too comfortable with each other.
"Boys," Vicky's dad said. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that." Suppressed laughter. "When Julia called me up she told me she wanted to mess with you an I tried to talk her out of it but I didn't think she'd go," More suppressed laughter. "quite that far. All we really wanted was to sit down and have a talk about certain precautions that young people need to take when they decide to become sexually active."
The laughter was gone and his voice seemed steadier. I guess he was slipping into "professional" mode or something. It was actually a relief. I'd much rather deal with a doctor doing his job than Vicky's dad trying not to laugh at the hell we'd been going through. Vicky was starting to fit into my arms like normal again but when he heard the words "sexually active" he pulled himself away from me and started to blush. Now that I knew Vicky was ok, or at least as ok as he could be in the situation, it was time for all my own feelings to come crashing back and I felt my face heat up as well. This was going to be a very long day.
"Hey, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. All of this is part of the natural progression of any romantic relationship. It may not usually happen this quickly in some cases but that doesn't make it any less natural." I could sense the amused father peeking out from behind the professional doctor during that last sentence. Before he could continue Vicky interrupted him.
"So, you're not mad at me, um, us, um....you're not mad?" He asked nervously.
Vicky's dad smiled. "No, I'm not mad Vic. Surprised maybe, but not mad. I just don't want you, either of you, getting hurt ok?" He looked back and forth between us and something in his voice made all the worry and anger and embarrassment fade to the background. It wasn't completely gone but it was definitely at a much more manageable level and I felt like maybe, just maybe, this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe we'd even pick up a few things to try later on.
Now it was me who had to fight to hold back a smirk.
We both nodded at him and his smile widened. "Good! Now that that's out of the way let's get down to it shall we? Julia did you get what I asked for?"
"It's under the table Jack." my mom answered.
"Thanks." he said as he reached under the table and brought out the bag that I had kicked earlier. Huh, I completely forgot about that. Now that I was calmed down I was pretty curious to see what was in there. "Well, considering the situation we don't need to worry about any unplanned pregnancies so that's something we can thankfully skip over." Despite ourselves both me and Vicky let out a small chuckle at that. "So, let's get started."
He reached into the bag and with every item he pulled out I felt my slowly emerging better mood getting crushed down to the size of an ant. Condoms. Several bananas. Lube. Two books on sexual health in a male/male relationship (keep in mind MY MOM BOUGHT THIS STUFF). This was not going to be fun.....
"Ok," Vicky's dad said as he rubbed his hands together. "Let's start with the proper use of condoms."
Almost two hours later Vicky and I were both back in my room.
"I need to get out of this house!" I said. "This is just....I mean.....AH! What the hell?"
Vicky groaned. "I can't believe he actually used a banana to show us how to put on a condom."
"I can't believe he made US put condoms on bananas! And then he's all," I deepened my voice to mock his dad, "'well we have some extra bananas and I know you kids are adventurous so why don't we cover putting them on with your mouth'."
"I know! I thought he was joking!" Vicky exclaimed as I started getting changed into some real clothes. "But then he actually put one in his MOUTH and tries to get it on a banana! I could have died happy never seeing that!"
"YOU could have died happy not seeing THAT?! What about when my mom took over and did it PERFETLY on the FIRST TRY! I almost had a heart attack!"
"So did my dad."
"Then they try to get us to do it? What the hell is WRONG with these people!?"
"Oh my god! And then he says 'well, I know you guys know how to use lube so I guess we don't need to get into that now do we hahahahaha.'" I have to admit Vicky does a much better impression of his dad than I do.
"Don't even remind me! Or maybe I should use that to block out the 'threeway' comment."
"Oh my god I wanted to punch him when he said that!" Vicky threw himself face down on my bed as I finished getting dressed. Since neither one of us wanted to vocalize that particular part of our little talk I think I should explain. In an attempt to stop the horror that was our discussion/demonstration on condoms I had the brilliant idea of saying "We don't even need condoms! We've only ever been with each other we don't have diseases." to which Vicky's dad responded "Well they're really in case you kids have any threeways or any other wild sexcapades. I know how it is for young people so I want you to always have protection. I was young once too you know." and of course that was an image neither of us needed and it didn't help that my fucking mother started giggling while she got that look on her face that she has when she's reliving a fond memory. GHAAA! I don't know which is worse that our parents apparently think we're going to go around having wild sex parties or the possibility that they used to do similar things.
I finished pulling on my sneakers. "Come on." I said and pulled Vicky off the bed. "We need to get out of here. I can't be here with both of them."
"No argument here but where are we going?"
I didn't answer him. I just pulled him downstairs by his hand. "Mom! We're going out!" I yelled and opened the door. We rushed outside and closed the door before either one of them could say anything. I dragged Vicky down my driveway and we took off down the street walking fast. Once we got out of sight of my house we slowed down.
I didn't let go of his hand. I was so far beyond caring if anyone saw us at that point that I would almost welcome some taunts or insults just to experience something normal again. It felt like we just escaped the goddamn Twilight Zone.
Hand in hand we walked down the street. At first we were silent. We were both simultaneously going over the entire conversation and trying to block most of it out. At least I was. I hate to admit it but for a while there I didn't even give Vicky a second thought. Another reason to hate our parents I guess.
"So, where are we going?" Vicky asked breaking the silence.
"Jason's house is on the next street over. We can hide out there." I answered.
"Won't your mom look for us there?" He asked.
"I doubt they're looking for us. They could have just ran out after us I guess."
"Won't she be worried about you being off on your own?"
"Nah, I always walk to Jason's by myself."
"Weird. I didn't think people in the country walked anywhere." he said almost to himself.
I had to laugh. "It's not like you have a monopoly on walking city boy."
He smiled despite himself and gave me a playful shove. "Shut up."
I grinned. "Why don't you make me?"
I just said I out of reflex, I really didn't except him to respond but Vicky returned my grin and without any hesitation kissed me. It could tell he meant it to be a quick kiss but the second his lips touched mine this need for contact filled my soul and I grabbed him to keep him from pulling away. He did try to pull back at first but once my tongue slid through my lips and started probing his mouth he gave up his struggle and melted into my arms. His mouth opened and his tongue eagerly met mine. I could feel one of his hands slide it's way up my back until it reached my head and pushed me into him even more. I needed this so badly. After everything that happened today I needed to just hold Vicky close and feel his lips and his arms and his body pressed against mine.
I completely forgot where we were or why we were here, my entire world was in my arms. I needed to feel more of him. I need to touch his skin. My hand started to slip up under his shirt. I just need to touch him. But not with my hand. I need to get this shirt of then get mine off and then pull him against my chest so I could-
I heard a car coming down the road and all of a sudden reality came crashing back. We jumped back from each other at the same time. I noticed Vicky's shirt was almost all the way off him and as I noticed that I felt a slight breeze on my own stomach and looked down in time to see my shirt falling back into place. We both looked around in a panic but luckily no one was around. But where the hell was the car? I looked around for it, absolutely certain that whoever was in it must have seen something, but then saw it drive by about 500 feet in front of us from a street that intersected with ours. I let out a sigh of relief. If he had been on our street he would have seen us for sure.
Vicky and I looked at each other and shared an embarrassed giggle. I couldn't believe that we just started making out right in the middle of the road like that. Then I thought of how close we were to getting each other topless and I wondered how far we would have gone. That was a mistake. As soon as I thought that another thought forced itself back into my mind. It wasn't much. Just a small flashback to our "conversation" with Vicky's dad saying "Now I know at some point you'll probably be tempted to try things in public...." but it was enough to erase any good feelings my little kissing session with Vicky brought on. I looked over expecting to see my feelings mirrored in his face but to my surprise he was still wearing a look of embarrassed pleasure. I guess for once our minds weren't perfectly locked together. I used all my will power to keep my feelings from showing up on my face. There was no way I was going to ruin Vicky's good mood.
"Come on," I said forcing a smile and grabbing his hand again. "Let's get off the streets before we attract a crowd or something."
He laughed and together we walked to Jason's house.
During our walk I felt my mood start to lighten a bit. Even though my mind kept replaying the whole talk it seemed that the farther we got from my house the less real it seemed. Or maybe it was because every few minutes Vicky would do something cute like rest his head on my shoulder for a few seconds or playfully blow in my ear or stare at me until I noticed then quickly look away with a little grin. He was so adorable!
When we reached Jasons house and walked up to the front door I let go of Vicky's hand to ring the doorbell. After a short wait the door opened and Jason's mom smiled at me.
"Why hello there Nate I haven't seen you around in a while. How have you been?" she asked. I always liked Jason's mom. She never talked down to me or treated me like a kid even back when I was a kid. Plus she never asked me uncomfortable personal questions which was always welcome but after today I was almost ready to beg her to adopt me.
"I've been good." I lied.
"That's nice to hear." she looked at Vicky now. "So who's your friend? I haven't seen him around before."
"This is-" I had no idea what to say. Jason never told his mom about me being gay so I can't say he's my boyfriend....but everyone is gonna know pretty soon anyway so why hide it? But what if she has a problem with it? What if she's some closeted religious nut or something like that? I knew it was a stupid worry, I'd never heard her say anything mean about anyone in all the years I'd known her, but in the end I chickened out. I'd like to think I did it because I so desperately wanted some part of my life to remain normal, even if only for today, but deep down inside I knew it was because I was scared. I'd been having good luck with the whole "being out" thing so far and I didn't wanna risk it running out now. "-my friend Vicky." I finished. "He just moved here and he sits with us at lunch." If it bothered Vicky that I called him 'my friend' he never showed it. He just smiled that sweet little smile as I introduced him.
She smiled at Vicky. "Hello Vicky! It's so nice to meet you." She pulled him in for a quick hug. I could see Vicky was surprised and I covered my mouth to hold in a laugh. He'd get used to Jason's mom eventually. "It's nice to see my shut in son finally has a new friend." She laughed and invited us in.
We followed her inside and she motioned us into the kitchen. I hesitated. As you may remember I haven't exactly been having good experiences with parents and kitchens recently. I ended up following her though. Thankfully she didn't ask me to have a seat or anything. Instead she gave both of us a conspiratorial smile.
"So, before I tell my son you're here maybe one of you boys will tell me something about this mystery girl he's been sneaking around with?" she asked slyly.
"Huh?" I said. Could he be cheating on Jen? I didn't think so. He'd been obsessing over her for a year before they got together and unless he'd been hiding a big part of himself from me I knew he wasn't the type to cheat.
"Oh come on, don't play dumb with me Nate. I know he's seeing somebody. He's being all secretive about it and I just assumed he was meeting up with you at the mall and the movies but yesterday when I asked him if he had fun he said that he did and that he ran into you there. So unless he's being all secretive because he's on drugs or something I know he's probably seeing a girl and since he doesn't want to tell me about it you're my only source of info." She smiled at me again.
Oh. So he didn't tell his mom about Jen? And she just dropped him off wherever he wanted to go without asking any questions? Can we please start the adoption paperwork today?
"Um," I started. "He has been seeing someone.....um....." I trailed off. I probably shouldn't have said that much. If Jason wanted to keep it a secret then who the hell was I to tell his mom? But.....I kinda felt bad about the whole "my friend Vicky" thing and I couldn't bring myself to lie to her again. She was just too damn sweet for an adult. Plus I really didn't want her to start thinking Jason was doing drugs or anything.
She sighed. "Ok ok I guess it isn't fair to ask Jason's best friend to spill his secrets." She turned to Vicky. "You, however, are a new friend. Any chance you'll tell me anything Vicky?" She smiled sweetly at him.
"Um, well, uh...." Vicky looked at me and I wanted so badly to laugh at the look of sheer panic in his eyes. I didn't though. I knew how hard situations like this could be (thanks mom!) so instead I just shrugged to let him know anything he said would be up to him. "Um....I don't know?" He finished in what was quite possibly the worst lie I'd ever heard in my life.
Jason's mom stared at him for a few seconds then smiled again. "You know sweetie, you're a terrible liar, but you're just so darn adorable that I'll let it slide. I guess I was lucky enough to get what I did out of you two. I'll just have to find out on my own." She got up and walked over to the entrance way to the kitchen. "It was nice to meet you Vicky." She said before shouting at the top of her lungs, "JASON! YOU HAVE GUESTS! COME ON DOWN!" Then in a much quieter tone. "You boys have fun." She left us to go to a different part of the house.
We looked at each other and I grinned and shrugged. Like I said before he'd get used to Jason's mom eventually. She was the nicest person in the world but sometimes she could be a little odd. Especially where her son was concerned.
Just then I heard the unmistakable sound of sock covered feet running across a hardwood floor. We walked into the hallway just in time to see Jason appear at the top of the stairs. He was wearing a pair of boxers and an old, ratty looking T shirt. As if that wasn't enough proof that he hadn't been awake very long his hair was still a bit flat on one side from where he'd been sleeping on it.
He gave us a confused look for a few seconds before speaking. "Um, hi." he said.
"Hey, gonna invite us up or just stand there half dressed?" I said making a point to slowly let my eyes roam up and down his body before giving him a suggestive leer. He really must have been out of it because he actually blushed, something I'd seem him do maybe four times since I met him, before saying "Uh, yeah, come on up."
As we walked up the stairs Vicky elbowed me hard in the ribs. "Is there something going on here I should know about?" he whispered playfully.
I rubbed my side" Ow, no there wasn't but now I'm thinking about it. I doubt Jason would abuse me." I whispered back.
Vicky let out a short laugh. "Ha, where do you think I learned it?" I laughed too.
We got up to Jason's room and he closed the door. He didn't have a lock on his door but I knew his mom wouldn't come in without knocking and being invited. Maybe I could just move in now while we waited for the paperwork to go through?
The one big problem with Jason's room is that there's only one chair in the entire place. He wasted no time in going over and sitting in it so me and Vicky were stuck with the floor. Vicky sat down with his back resting up against Jason's bed and without even thinking about it I sat down between his legs with my back against his chest. He instinctually wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my head.
We sat in silence for almost half a minute when I realized that we were, in fact, sitting in silence. I guess we both expected Jason to start up the conversation by asking what we were doing at his house but when I looked over at him he was just sitting there giving us this odd look. He looked away when our eyes connected but he still didn't say anything. What was his problem? He was almost acting like he was embarrassed about something. Then it hit me.
This was the first time he'd ever seen me and Vicky together acting like a couple.
We just slid into each others arms without even thinking about it but all three of us have only ever hung out in school where, for obvious reasons, me and Vicky kept our hands to ourselves. He'd never seen it before and come to think of it since Vicky was my first boyfriend he'd never seen me with any guy. Could it be bothering him? I mean, it's one thing to know your best friend likes other guys but to have him acting all lovey with a guy right in front of you when you weren't even expecting to hang out today could be completely different.
I wanted to ask him outright but I would have felt weird coming right out with it. I didn't want to seem like I was trying to force him to be a certain way. If he had a problem I wanted to know, but like I said before I'm a coward and today was totally not the day to deal with any issues Jason might have with this so instead I just settled for a simple "Hey man, are you ok?"
Jason looked me in the eye, looked away, then seemed to force himself to look back. "Yeah, I'm fine." Then quickly before either of us could say anything else, "So why are you here? Not that I'm complaining or anything but could you have called first?" He gestured to his outfit as he said this, then seemed to realize just how under dressed he was and got up to get some pants on. Vicky giggled but I had to wonder in the back of my mind if he was getting dressed because he was embarrassed or uncomfortable. I shook that thought from my head. I didn't think he had a problem but if he did I really didn't want to deal with it just then.
"Well, it's kind of a long story." I said.
"Very long." Vicky sighed.
Jason finished pulling on some pants and sat back down in his chair. Any weirdness was gone and all I could see in his face was interest at what we had to say. "Well, I've got all day, so tell me already." Yep, that was normal Jason all right.
"Alright, but don't interrupt until we're done ok?" I said.
"Ok ok, just tell me. This is starting to sound interesting." He grinned.
"Alright, I guess it all started last night after we has sex-"
"Hey! Um, you aren't gonna start in with the details again are you?" Jason interrupted.
"I thought I told you not to interrupt?" I said impatiently.
"And you did agree? Right? He agreed right?" That last was to Vicky.
"Yep, he agreed." Vicky said and I could sense the amused smile on his face.
Jason let out an annoyed sigh. "Alright! Alright! Fine. Just get on with it."
"So after we had sex last night we fell asleep....."
We both took turns telling him the whole story and much to my surprise Jason actually kept silent throughout the whole thing. Well, except for a few barely contained squeaks and suppressed laughs at certain parts. Each noise got him a glare from the both of us but at least he had the good sense to look sheepish each time. We finally finished the story, leaving out the part about us almost getting naked in the middle of the neighborhood, and sat in silence for a few seconds. I could see him going through the entire story in his head and we just sat there waiting for him to say something. When he did, I shouldn't have been surprised at the thing that caught his attention the most.
"So, wait, your mom put a condom on a banana with her mouth?!" he asked finally.
I sighed. "Yeah."
"Wow." he said wonderingly. Then for the second time today he turned slightly red. "Um, damn, I'm never gonna be able to look at her the same way again..."
"How do you think I feel?" I groaned.
"At least you didn't have her catch you naked after sex." Vicky moaned.
Jason looked down. "Ok ok, I get it, not about me right?" We both nodded and I gave him an amused smile. "So, you never told me why you guys came here. Was it just to tell me that?"
"No, we couldn't stay in that house with my dad and Nate's mom. It was too......weird." Vicky answered.
"It was beyond weird." I said. "We just need to be around something normal for a while."
Jason smirked. "So that's all I am to you guys huh, something normal to take your mind off Nate's orally talented mother?"
"Ok, no, you don't get to make jokes about this! Off limits! Totally off limits!" I shouted. Which was a mistake because it let Jason know how much this bothered me. I sighed as I saw the little smirk turn into a all out grin. He shut up but I knew this wasn't the last I'd be hearing about this. I felt Vicky give me a squeeze and I instantly relaxed........Then I had a thought. Maybe I did have something that I could use to get Jason to lay off. A big gun of my own to bring out. I never would have thought of it before today but considering his earlier strangeness.....
"I'm serious." I said, but playfully this time. Jason noticed my sudden change in attitude and his eyes narrowed as his grin faded slightly. "If you make jokes about my mom like that I'll just have to do this." And with that I turned around in Vicky's arms and gave him a kiss. Now, this wasn't just a quick peck on the lips, this was a full on open mouth porno kiss.
Vicky caught on to what I was doing right away and because he's as perfect as he is joined in instantly. He let out an exaggerated moan into my mouth and roughly ran his hands up and down my back and under my shirt. I let out a too loud moan of my own and started grinding my crotch into his. Vicky wrapped his legs around me and started humping me back, our now incredibly hard cocks grinding together through our pants.
Jason was completely silent, probably too shocked for words, and I would have loved to see how far we could push it before he snapped but just then we heard a knock at the door. Almost as soon as the knocking started I heard words from Jason's mouth that let me know exactly who had won for today.
"Come on in mom!"
Vicky and I FLEW apart the second the first work was out of his mouth but it might have been too late. My shirt was still, um, not exactly on right and both Vicky and I had very obvious wetness around our mouths. Not to mention the fact that we both still had raging erections. If Jason's mom noticed anything she didn't give any sign other than a slight pause when she entered the room.
"Do you boys want anything to eat?" she asked after the pause.
"Um, no, we're good mom. Uh, thanks." Jason answered. He seemed a little flustered. I guess he was just operating on the instinct to "get me" and didn't really think about what he was doing when he invited his mom in.
"Alright, well if you want anything just holler down." She smiled at us and left the room closing the door behind her.
"You ass!" Vicky yelled and threw the nearest object, Jason's shoe, at him. Jason barely ducked out of the way and we both laughed.
"I don't think he knew what he was doing. Look at how red he is? I think he just needed his mommy to save him from the big, bad queers." I laughed and Jason turned red AGAIN. Oh this was too much fun. If he did have any problems I suddenly wasn't sure if I wanted them to go away or not.
"Nah, that's not it. I think he liked it." Vicky said seductively and licked his lips. I giggled as I saw Jason's eyes narrow.
"I'll show you what I like." he growled and then ran over to his bed.
"You were right!" I exclaimed. "He wants to get in bed with us!"
Jason didn't get on the bed though, not that I expected him to, instead he grabbed one of his pillows and started beating us with it. I curled up into a ball of laughter as the fury of the mighty pillow rained down on me from above. At some point he started ignoring Vicky which gave him enough time to scramble onto the bed, grab a pillow of his own and come to my defense. By this point I was laughing so hard my eyes were blurry with tears but I very clearly saw Vicky's pillow make direct contact with Jason's head. Of course that caused me to laugh even more and I had to struggle for breath even as my side started to feel like it was being stabbed.
Vicky and Jason were going at it like a couple of gladiators. (Well, if gladiators giggled and hit each other with pillows. Which I would have paid to see by the way.) Even though I was enjoying the show I started to feel a bit guilty that my boyfriend was trying to slay the giant on his own. The second my laughter died down enough to where I could move I leaped up and tackled Jason from behind.
I may have been just a bit too eager because after I crashed into him we completely missed the bed and crashed into the floor. Or, really, Jason crashed into the floor and I crashed into Jason. He let out a loud "oomf" as the air left his lungs and he started to cough. I quickly took my weight off him.
"Are you ok?" I asked with genuine concern.
"Yeah," he coughed. "I'm good."
"Good." I grinned, grabbed him and flipped him over so I was laying on the floor on my back and Jason was on top of me. "Now!"
Vicky was on the ball as always and immediately started hitting Jason with the pillow. He tried his best to squirm away from me but despite being taller than me he wasn't that much stronger. I had him in a death grip and I wasn't about to let go. If I knew anything about leverage I might have said something about the position I had him in not being the best for escaping someones grip but I wouldn't know if I was full of shit or not so I'll just leave it at that.
Pretty soon Jason's cries to be let go turned into high pitched laughter. Jason's laugh was always a mystery to be. His voice was deeper than mine and he always sounded just a bit more adult that most kids in our grade but for some reason when he really started to laugh he sounded like a 10 year old girl. He hated that laugh so of course one of my life's goals is to get him to do it in front of a large group of people.
Vicky's reaction to the Laugh of Doom was exactly what mine was the first time I heard it: full on laughter of his own. Of course Vicky's laugh was much more manly and when your laugh can make Vicky's super adorable laugh sound manly you know you have problems. He never stopped hitting him with the pillow though which just caused Jason to laugh more which caused Vicky to laugh more. I was laughing pretty much the entire time so I just kept going.
My grip must have loosened because the next thing I knew Jason was out of my arms, off my chest and running across the room. He was red faced and trying so hard to stop laughing as he rolled his chair out on front of himself and hid behind it.
"Seriously...." Pant. "Dude...." Pant. "Stop...." Pant. "I'm gonna die." Suppressed laughter followed by a pant.
Vicky looked at me and I looked back and gave him an evil grin.
"Never give up!" I shouted.
"Never surrender!" Vicky finished the quote as we advanced on Jason's pathetic little chair fort.
For the next hour and a half I don't think there was a single second where at least one of us wasn't laughing. We chased each other around tackling and pillow hitting and just having fun. Mostly it was me and Vicky double teaming Jason (SO not how it sounds ya perv!) but we didn't stick together the whole time. Once, Vicky threw his pillow at Jason, who ducked, and the pillow hit me full force right in the face. Love of my life or not there was no way I was gonna let that slide so I ran across the room, tackled him onto the bed and tickled the living hell out of him. He squirmed and laughed and begged me to stop. It didn't last long though. Once we heard Jason's high pitched girl laugh and realized he was enjoying his new found not-being-attackedness just a little bit too much I stopped, let Vicky up and we both turned our full attention back to torturing him.
After a while we all got too tired to keep it up so we settled down a bit. We were all breathing heavily and our faces were red and tear streaked from all the laughing and running around. We all sat down on the floor, Jason with his back against the wall and me in Vicky in pretty much the same position we were in when we first got into his room. For a while we all just looked at each other and the mess we'd made of his room and giggled on and off. I realized that I was sitting on a pair of Jason's underwear (at one point we got tired of pillows so we opened up Jason's clothes drawers and started throwing everything inside at him) and I picked them up between my thumb and forefinger and made a show of throwing them away with mock disgust. This of course caused our giggles to turn into laughter again.
Once we recovered from that laughter spree we finally called a truce and decided to play some video games. We had to clean up a bit first. Jason's TV and the area around it was covered with bedsheets and printer paper (don't ask) so we were forced to waste time fixing that mess at least. I'd be dammed if I was gonna clean his whole room though. Yeah, it was mostly my fault it got the way it did but, come on it's not like it's my room or anything.
Soon though we got things out of the way enough to play. We put in Reach and played splitscreen multiplayer for a while before one of Jason's Xbox Live friends started sending him messages bugging him to play a different game with him. We sent back like three messages telling him no but he wouldn't shut the hell up about it so I grabbed Jason's headset and recorded a voice message to the kid.
"Jason can't play right now." I said into the mic in my sexiest voice. "He's in the middle of a hot, gay threeway with me and my boyfriend. You can listen in if you want though." Then, still recording, I pulled Vicky towards me and started kissing him noisily while holding the mic up to our mouths. Jason came over and started moaning into the mic saying stuff like "ohhh that's nice" and "mmmmm use more tongue" and "Ohhhh! I didn't think that would fit up there!" I almost busted out laughing at that one. I stopped kissing Vicky and Jason stopped hamming it up and we sent the message. We all started giggling again and I noticed that Jason wasn't showing any of the weirdness making that message that he has when me and Vicky first got here. I was glad he got over whatever the problem was. I didn't really want to have to go through any more drama than necessary this week.
We started playing again and kept at it until it started to get dark out. It was Sunday night and around the time Vicky was supposed to be getting home anyway so we turned off the game and said goodbye. Jason tried to get us to help him clean before we left but we weren't having any of that. He growled at us, punched me in the shoulder but then grinned and said that he had a great time. Me and Vicky agreed, said goodbye, promised to come over again (with more than a few evil grins and promises of more pillow wars) and left to walk home.
That kid never did message us back.
The walk home was great. We walked with an arm around the others waist and I was once again reminded how awesome it was that were were pretty much the exact same height. The streets were deserted and it was evening so it felt like we had the entire world to ourselves. It was the perfect way to end the day.
As we walked I realized that we needed that little hang out at Jason's more than I thought. At first it was just someplace to go to get away from our parents but it ended up being the perfect way to not have to deal with anything for a while. I don't think either of us thought about the "talk", or anything except having fun, almost the entire time we were there and now that we were going back to what passes for reality I wasn't nearly as nervous as I thought I'd be. Judging from the perfect way Vicky "fit" just then I could tell he felt the same way.
Every once and a while I'd find myself looking over and staring at his face. God he was so beautiful! I couldn't get enough. He was especially perfect tonight because he seemed to have this permanent contended little smile on his face. It was something I didn't expect to see today at all and looking at him walking beside me smiling and happy filled me with more joy than I could ever put into words.
He caught me looking at him and his smile widened even as he looked towards the road shyly. Mmmmm I loved bashful Vicky.
"What?" he said after glancing back and seeing me still staring.
"You're beautiful." I said simply.
He giggled shyly. "No I'm not."
"Yes, you are." I said seriously. "If you asked me draw a picture of the perfect person it would come out looking exactly like you." Did he really not know how absolutely perfect he was?
"You can't draw." he said with a smirk.
I laughed softly. "Don't change the subject." I got serious again. "I'm not just talking about your looks you know, everything about you is perfect. Your smile, your laugh, your sense of humor, the way your eyes light up when you see me for the first time everyday, how you can go from being sweet and innocent to sex crazed at the drop of a hat," Vicky grinned slyly as I said that. "the way you walk, the sound of your voice, there is nothing about you that isn't completely perfect. You could literally have anybody you wanted and the fact that you're with me makes me happier than you could ever know, even if I do sometimes wonder why you didn't wanna be with someone as perfect as you." I'm not sure where all this was coming from. I guess it just really bothered me that Vicky could stand there and not know how wonderfully and completely perfect he was. It didn't seem right.
Vicky didn't say anything for a few seconds. He just walked along next to me looking at the ground. When he finally spoke it took me by surprise. "The first thing I ever noticed about you was your skin."
"What?" I asked confusedly.
"That day at the pool, before we met, I watched you for like an hour. Everyone else there had some kind of tan but you had this clear, smooth, perfectly white skin tone. You didn't even have sunburn, just creamy whiteness. You have no idea how jealous I was." Huh? That made no sense to me. How could Vicky be jealous of anyone? "All my life I've been dark and tan and for as long as I can remember I've wanted to be lighter. I've always had a thing for pale skin, but yours?" He smiled and then said wistfully. "I could get off just thinking about it."
I started to say something but he cut me off. "Let me finish. I kept watching you and soon I started to notice other things about you. Your blond hair, your light blue eyes, the sexy way you move your hips when you walk, my mouth was almost literally watering. Do you know how long I was standing behind you at the vending machine trying to get enough guts to say something to you? Ten minutes. And then when the only thing that came out was to ask if you were gonna use the machine? I could have died I was so embarrassed. But once you looked at me there was just something in your eyes that gave me confidence. I felt comfortable with you." He paused and I saw a far away look in his eyes, like he was remembering something. He smiled slightly and then his eyes focused back on me.
"Did you know I used to be incredibly shy?" He asked suddenly. I shook my head. The last thing I ever thought Vicky was was shy. "I was. It was so bad at times I could barely put three words together. You know when that ended? When I looked into your eyes for the first time." He saw my disbelieving expression and flashed me a warm smile. "It's true. Just one look and I had confidence in myself that I'd never had before. It felt like the universe had finally given me permission to be myself. When my dad came and told me we had to go I wanted to scream. I thought, 'this is my one chance to get to know this guy and my dad is ruining it'. I knew I'd probably see you in school but I didn't think there was any way someone like you would ever remember me from some random five minute conversation over the summer. But you did. Not only that but once we really started talking and I found out that you had an amazing personality under those gorgeous looks I fell in love with you so hard it wasn't even funny. You have no idea how much I just wanted to grab you and kiss you in gym that day." Sometimes it killed me thinking how much our stupid insecurities made us miss out on.
We had stopped walking now and he was standing in front of me looking directly into my eyes. "I'm telling you all this because you say I'm perfect, but to me, you're the perfect one. Everything about you is perfect to me and I'm surprised you don't catch me staring at you more often because I just get lost in you without even realizing it. You're the one who should be able to get anyone he wants and I'm the one who feels lucky just to know you, not to mention have your love. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't smile because of how lucky I am. I love you so much sometimes I can't even move and it kills me to hear anyone say anything bad about you when they mean it so don't you ever even hint that you somehow aren't 'worthy' of me ever again." He said that last in the most serious tone I'd ever heard from him. Then softly added, "That tears me up more than you could ever know Nate."
The tears that had been welling up in my eyes during his entire speech fell silently down my face and I pulled Vicky close for a crushing hug. I couldn't even think about anything else he said except the last part where I'd caused him pain. I needed to make that right before I could let myself feel anything else. I couldn't think of anything to say except, "I'm sorry."
"It's ok." he pulled back and wiped the tears from my cheek. "Just don't do it again alright?"
I nodded. He smiled. We kissed.
Now that I was forgiven I could start to think about everything else he said. I never realized just how deeply he felt about me. I knew he loved me, I never doubted that, but everything else? Not to sound conceited but I knew I was attractive and I didn't usually get down on myself about my looks but I never once thought I was anywhere near 'perfect'. To me Vicky was perfection. Not just my perfection, but everybody's. Tan skin, toned body, amazing smile, how could that not be what everybody wants? I never even stopped to consider that Vicky might have a different idea and then to find out that not only did he have a different idea but that his idea of perfection was me? The idea still confused me. I started to realize that whenever I thought about me and Vicky I always concentrated on my feelings of love. When I thought about Vicky's feelings it was always me noticing something wrong, in which case I'd try my hardest to figure out what it was so I could fix it, or me noticing that his mood had improved, in which case I'd be happy because he was happy. I never really thought about how HE felt about ME beyond knowing that he loved me. And finally realizing for the first time just how much I really meant to him? I don't think there is a word strong enough for the amount of happiness and love that I felt at that moment. It was like having my body completely filled up with some unknown substance but instead of making me heavy it made me lighter. Not just lighter but powerful. If being in love used to feel like I could glide then this new feeling felt like I could stand on pure air and order the world to move itself under me until I was floating over where I wanted to be. It wasn't just love, it was the feeling of knowing, KNOWING, that the person who you loved, who was the center of your entire WORLD, loved you just as much because you were the center of THEIR entire world.
I guess something good came out of this day after all.
It was then that I noticed Vicky giving me this strange little smile and that shook me out of my thoughts. "What?" I asked.
He giggled. "I love watching you think."
"Watching me think?" I asked.
"Yeah. You get this intense look of concentration on your face whenever you're thinking about something important and then when you finally figure it out your entire face relaxes. It's like you just solved all the worlds problems and you've got no more concerns. I love that look." He smiled at me.
"Sometimes I think too much." I said.
"Nate," Vicky said seriously. "I thought we just went over this? You're perfect. Nothing you do is too much or too little. It's all just right." I had to laugh and he let out a little giggle of his own even though I knew he was trying to be at least somewhat serious.
"Ok, ok, I think just the right amount. Ok?" I asked with a grin.
"That's perfect." he said with another giggle. "So, what did you decide?"
"About whatever you were thinking about."
I smiled at him. "I decided that we're both equally lucky. And that I don't think I've ever felt better than I do right now." I leaned in and gave him a soft kiss. I started to pull away but Vicky held me tight and kept the kiss going. I wasn't complaining. We kissed for a few minutes out there in the slowly darkening night but we didn't have the urge to strip down and press our bodies together this time. This was about a different kind of closeness. When we finally stopped I slipped my hand into his and we walked back to my house.
When we got back inside my house I was a bit surprised to be greeted by not only my mom but Vicky's dad as well. I didn't expect him to stay the day but judging by the amount of freshly dirty dishes in the sink and the paused movie on the TV I guess he had.
"Hey, guys." he greeted us without wasting any time. "Um, look, I'm sorry-"
"WE'RE sorry." my mom cut in.
"-yeah, we're sorry if we kind of got carried away before. It's not, I mean it's......" he trailed off.
"I think what Jack is trying to say is that neither one of us were really prepared for this and we may have acted a bit...." my mom started
"Inappropriately." Vicky's dad finished.
Well if that wasn't the understatement of the year I'm not sure what is. I was still upset about what had happened but after spending the day at Jason's and hearing Vicky say all those things I was feeling pretty damn good, about life and about myself, and even though it was a bit of a lie I decided it would be best just to end this chapter in my life sooner rather than later so I said "It's alright. Just, let's not do this again ok?"
Vicky nodded his agreement and they both looked surprised and a little bit relieved. Especially my mom. I think she was seriously regretting the banana thing. Well, she wasn't the only one. That was going to be replacing the clown in my nightmares.
We had a few minutes of only slightly strained conversation before we realized that it was pretty late and Vicky needed to get home. We went up to my room to get his stuff together and even managed to get his clothes in a pile before we collapsed onto my bed with our arms around each other and our lips locked. This was the last time we'd be able to kiss for an entire day and we both wanted to make it last.
Thirty minutes later we came downstairs again. Vicky's bag was all packed up and our lips were just a bit sore so he was all ready to get going. Our parents looked over at us but didn't say anything even though anyone with half a brain knew it didn't take thirty minutes to pack up some clothes and a few games.
"Well," Vicky's dad said. "This was an interesting day."
My mom laughed. "Yeah, but not a complete waste."
Vicky's dad laughed too but I didn't get the joke. Oh well. I was not in any rush to understand either one of them anymore than I already did.
"You ready to go?" Vicky's dad asked him.
"Not yet." he said then dragged me over to him by the arm and kissed me right there in front of both of our parents. My eyes widened in surprise for a second but I just internally shrugged and went with it, kissing him back. It's not like this should be a surprise to anyone here after all. We broke the kiss and smiled at each other. "Now I'm ready."
To their credit neither parent said anything or gave us any looks.
"Alright then, I guess we'll probably be seeing both of you again." Vicky's dad said with another laugh.
"Yes I'm sure we will." My mom said. "Bye Jack, bye Vicky."
They both said bye then Vicky said "See you at school tomorrow, Nate." He smiled, waved and then left.
With everything else that happened I had completely forgot about school. I seem to remember a much simpler time when all I had to worry about was whether or not Vicky was interested in me. Great, now I sound like an old man.
I thought about school as I went upstairs and got ready for bed. I still didn't know what to expect. Was I going to get two feet in the door and get my ass kicked? Were those fangirls gonna follow me around all day? Would the teachers find out? What would they do if they did? I had no idea and thinking about all the possibilities made my head hurt.
I finished getting ready and climbed into bed. I pulled the pillow Vicky slept on over, hugged it and inhaled deeply. Mmmmm, it still smelled like him. Is that creepy? I don't care. And I guess that's how I should feel about school. I shouldn't care because I'd already had my "in public" test with Vicky and it was one of the best nights of my life. Something inside me though just wouldn't let go of the thought that school would be different than a movie theater.
I decided to stop thinking about it and try to get some sleep. I hugged Vicky's pillow close to me and closed my eyes. Tonight I didn't want to worry about anything. I just wanted to relax, inhale Vicky's sweet berry scent and drift off to sleep to have wonderful dreams of my angel.
I'd worry about school tomorrow.