"Find anything yet?" I asked after about five minutes of my boyfriend Owen searching through his DVD shelf.
"Not yet." he said absently, not even bothering to turn around.
"Kay." I said, not even really hearing his answer. He could have said he was looking for his collection of skinned animal corpses and I would have said the same thing. Why, you ask? Because my boyfriend Owen apparently keeps all his good movies at the very bottom of his DVD shelf and was currently bent over less than five feet in front of me. It was.....distracting. I'm proud of myself though. I wasn't staring at his ass like some perv who wanted to lick it.
Ok, fine, so maybe the only reason I'm not looking at his ass is because his shirt was so small and tight it rode halfway up his back when he bent over. And THAT'S what I was staring at.......like I wanted to lick it. In my defense his back looks really, REALLY lickable!
…..sigh. Ok, maybe I'm perving on my boyfriend even if I'm not looking at his ass.
Finally -and way too soon- after about a million years, or maybe just another five minutes, my boyfriend Owen stood up and spun around, holding out a DVD. "Let's watch this one!" he said excitedly.
If it's possible to make a noise that says "please don't notice I was perving on you!!" and "please lift your shirt back up, I wasn't done" at the same time I just made it.
My boyfriend Owen's lips pulled into a concerned frown. "Are you ok?"
"I-I'm fine!" I squeaked and, of course, blushed. At least he didn't seem to see me staring. Time for a subject change! "Ummm, what movie do you have, my boyfriend Owen?"
He didn't answer. He just stared at me, his frown turning into a little smile. After about a minute of the not talking and the me getting weirded out by the not talking I blurted out "What?!"
His smile got a bit wider. "You called me 'my boyfriend Owen'." he said.
"I-!" I swallowed. "No I didn't."
"Yes you did." he grinned.
"I...." I bit my lip and tried to think back. "Did I?"
"O-oh." I mumbled and blushed again. I shrugged and smiled shyly. God I wish I had some hair to hide behind. "I...just like the way it sounds, I guess." I offered sheepishly.
"I like it too." he said, soft but with so much meaning, in that wonderfully lilting voice. Then he flashed me a mischievous grin. "My boyfriend Andy."
I blushed a little more at the teasing, but in some weird way it actually made me less self conscious. If he was Cheryl I'd have flipped him off, but it seemed wrong to do that to him so instead I just stuck my tongue out at him. My boyfriend Owen -wow, I'm doing it in my head too? Holy crap I have it bad. Swoony sigh- just laughed then leaned in quickly and gave my tongue a playful lick.
I froze, then melted, then since I still had my awesome confidence from before I leaned in and kissed him right. My boyfr- Owen was quick to catch on and kissed me right back.
Five -or maybe another million- minutes later we pulled away. I was flushed and panting and he was completely unruffled, but still panting. "Um," I said, then swallowed. There was a part of me that wanted to kiss him again and not stop until it lead wherever it was going to, but a bigger part was just the tiniest bit nervous/scared/timid/too excited to let that happen. But it wasn't as big as it used to be, and that shocked me. "What movie? Um, are we watching, I mean."
Owen blinked. It seemed like it took him a few seconds to go from "kissing Andy" to "words mean things" and I don't think I'd ever been more proud of myself. He looked down at the DVD box still in his hands and when he looked back up he had the same excited look in his eyes that he had before. "Alien." he said with a smile.
Now it was my turn to blink. "Alien?"
"Yeah." he nodded. "I know it's old, but Prometheus is coming out next month and I haven't seen Alien in forever so we should probably watch it before we go see it."
I blinked again, slower this time, trying to decode that. I couldn't, so I asked the only question that seemed to make sense. "What's Prometheus?"
"The prequel to Alien." Owen said it slowly, like he couldn't decide if it was a serious question or not even as he was answering it.
"Oh?" I swallowed self consciously. Dammit Andy, why does this feel like one of those things you'd already know if you were normal?
"Yeah," Owen said, and this time he sounded like he knew I had no idea what he was talking about. "I guess you didn't hear about it yet. It's supposed to be all about the alien race that built that ship at the beginning when they found the egg. Maybe where they found the aliens or something. I don't really know. The previews look awesome though and it's made by the same guy that made Alien so it should be really good."
By the time he was done, I was more lost than before. Ok, yeah, I'd heard of the Alien movies before, I'm not THAT out of touch with normal people stuff. But still.... "I've, um, never seen Alien." I admitted with an awkward smile.
Now Owen was back to the blinking. "Oh." he said and for just a second he looked like I'd just told him I'd never breathed oxygen before. But before I had time to feel even less normal than I already did the look melted into a grin that was even more excited than before. "That's actually really cool. We can watch it together your first time!" He bounced, actually BOUNCED, once in place then spun around and dashed over to his DVD player. "You'll love it." he said over his shoulder as he put the disc in the player. "It's awesome!"
Before the bounce -and, really, how cute was that?- I'd opened my mouth to speak, but then I closed it. He looked so happy to be able to share it with me that I didn't have the heart to tell him that I never saw it because I wasn't even a little bit interested in it. As much as I love sci-fi books, movies about aliens just aren't my thing. Except....John Carter had aliens in it and I really liked it. But maybe that was because I was with Owen. And that was when the Cheryl voice made it's incredibly unwanted return, 'Seriously? And you're not with Owen NOW?'. I got a weird feeling, like there was a back of my head inside my brain that just got smacked. That....was a really good point.
Probably best that I didn't say anything then.
And then I had a brand new problem because Owen finished what he was doing, walked over to his bed and jumped up on it. He propped up some pillows against the wall behind the bed and leaned back. "Come on." he said.
I swallowed with dread and anticipation and fear and want and oh god he wants me to sit with him on his BED while he's in his PAJAMAS! "I-um-I mean..." I was flustered. Actually, way more than that but if there's a word for the 'holy shit' that I'm feeling I can't think of it right now. "Wha-um, what are we gonna do on the bed?"
"We're just gonna watch the movie." he said reassuringly. He smiled. "It's way more comfortable than sitting on the floor."
Ok. Ok that.....god how could I even think I wanted to go farther than kissing before? Just thinking about being on the bed together freaks me out. I'm so not ready for anything else. No matter how much part of me thinks it'll probably be the best thing to ever happen to me.
My breathing slowed down, then I realized I was breathing heavily and sighed internally. Way to look stupid, Andy. And it WAS stupid because when I looked around his room and saw the one desk chair and the way the bed was perfectly set up to watch the TV from it was pretty damn obvious why he wanted me there. "Ok." I said. I was trying for casual. Wanna guess if I pulled it off?
"Andy," Owen said softly. "You don't need to be nervous. You know I won't push you into anything you're not ready for, right?"
I nodded instantly, then felt like an idiot. Not for nodding, but because I just never thought about it before and if I did I would have known that. Even if I didn't know that Owen wasn't the type of person to pressure someone into sex, I would have known he'd let me set the pace. Ever since the beginning everything he'd done or said had been to make me, in some way, feel better. Even if he wasn't doing it on purpose at first, he's still never done anything to make me feel uncomfortable or threatened. I should NOT be freaking out about being vulnerable with Owen. With my BOYFRIEND. End of story. And thinking about it like that, made me relax.
"I know." I nodded firmly. I smiled at him, holding his eyes and not even once wanting to look away. "I know."
Owen smiled back. It was his best smile too. The one that always made me feel like I was about to pass out and explode and melt at the same time. God I love that smile. "But just so you know," he said, his smile turning into a teasing smirk "if you don't want me to jump you, stuttering and blushing like that is kinda the last thing you should do. You're WAY to freaking cute when you do that."
I blushed, horribly, but just like every time he'd said something like that I couldn't stop smiling.
"Just put the movie on." I mumbled.
Owen laughed. "Ok."
He looked around for a few seconds, then stuck his hand between the bed and the wall and came up with a remote. "Ha!" he grinned and held it up triumphantly. "It usually takes me twenty minutes to find it."
I chuckled, and as he messed around with switching the TV over and putting the DVD player on I slowly climbed into bed with him.
It was weird, because it wasn't as weird as I thought it would be. Laying next to him in bed I mean. Hell, we weren't even really laying. We were just sitting next to each other with our backs against the pillows and the wall. We weren't even really touching. The bed wasn't that big, but it wasn't a small single either. And there was a tiny dip in the middle where Owen probably slept that would be so easy to use as an excuse to crowd me, or even just accidentally lean close to me. He knew I was nervous, and he was giving me space.
As if I needed any more reasons to love him.
Then the movie started.
I swear I tried to pay attention. No, really, I did. And, actually, it wasn't a bad movie. Maybe a bit slow in the beginning but it actually held my interest. And if some of that was the way Owen would glance at me to see how I reacted to certain scenes and the way he smiled when I was into it, then, so what?
But I could only pay attention for so long. Right about the time the thing was bursting out of the guys chest I completely lost the movie. It wasn't even the movies fault. It was just......god he was so CLOSE to me. Like, RIGHT there. And the weird thing was I was even more aware of him because I DIDN'T feel vulnerable. Like realizing that he wasn't gonna jump me the second I got on the bed with him gave me permission to notice him. And he was distracting the hell out of me.
I could just....reach over and touch him. I wouldn't even need to move that much because he was right next to me, less than five inches of space between us. I could practically feel the heat coming off his body. His left hand was resting lightly on his thigh, fingers loose and slightly curled just perfectly for me to slip my hand into his. I could do it so easily. I WANTED to do it.
And why the hell shouldn't I? I mean, he's my boyfriend now. We said it. Made it official. And boyfriends hold hands. We've held hands even before we said the words so, really, there's no reason why I shouldn't just reach over and slide my hand right into his.
And it's right about now when I start freaking out, and the fact that I'm not is kinda scaring me. I poked my insecurities. They didn't even mumble in their sleep. I tugged the sleeve of my fear of being in bed with him. It rolled over and put a pillow over it's head. I glanced over at my confidence. It looked like it had just ran a mile and was ready to go for two more. Then shot me a thumbs up. There is literally not a single thing in me telling me not to do this.
So I did it.
He jerked in surprise, but his hand quickly closed around mine. I could feel his thigh through the thin -WOW so thin- pajama bottoms and that just made it even better. His thigh.....was way different than a table at Uno's or an arm rest at the movies. It was firm, but at the same time kinda squishy. I moved my hand a little bit, rubbing the knuckles back and forth on it. The muscle twitched.
Oh. Oh that was nice.
I didn't even really think about doing it but a few seconds later my right leg was pressed against his left one. It wasn't the same. Too many layers of clothes. I couldn't feel it like I could with my hand. Except, after about a minute, I could feel warmth all over the part of my leg that was touching his. And that was nice too.
I shifted my whole body over so our shoulders and sides were pressed together too. I leaned into him, almost more than I was leaning on the pillows, and without even thinking about it rested my head on his shoulder. I let out a tiny sigh. This felt so right. Like coming home to my own bed after a long stay in a motel, even though I'd never done it before.
I stayed like that for a while. My head on his shoulder, my eyes glued to our joined hands, totally forgetting that I was supposed to be watching a movie. After about a forever or two I noticed that his thumb was moving back and forth on my hand and I shivered. His touch was so light, but if someone was scraping sandpaper over my other one I don't even think I'd notice.
I'd never felt more content in my life.
I smiled to myself, then shifted my head a bit and glanced up at Owen. He wasn't watching the movie anymore either. He probably hadn't been for some time. He was looking down at me, his eyes practically sparkling with, well, the movie actually since he was still kinda facing it. It didn't make them look any less beautiful though. He's probably the only boy in the world who could make my heart beat faster with aliens in his eyes.
I smiled up at him, and he tilted his head and smiled back at me. His hair was getting a little long and one of his curls fell into his eye and again without even thinking about it I reached out with my other hand and brushed it back. His hair was so soft! I ran my fingers through it slowly, feeling it slide between them. I shuddered. I could do this for hours and not get tired of it I think.
The movie got loud but I barely heard it. I was so lost in him. In his eyes and his hair and slowly studying every inch of his face. Huh. His eyebrows are a shade blonder than his hair. I can't believe I never noticed that before.
I dunno who moved first but one second I was trying to count the little freckles I'd just noticed on his nose and losing count after two and the next we were kissing, fast and hard. It was different than our other kisses. More urgent and needneedneed! Our tongues clashed and tried to wrap around each other like constrictor snakes and this time I wasn't tentative or nervous. I was just as aggressive as him, pushing and nibbling and constantly changing angles, trying to see how many different ways I could get my tongue in his mouth, my lips on his. Even the one or two times our teeth clacked together didn't stop us. We just giggled breathlessly and went back to it.
At some point we slid down the pillows so we were laying on the bed facing each other. We'd also apparently stopped holding hands because I could feel both of his running up and down my side and chest. Any other time that would have brought me right out of it but instead of jumping away and probably falling off the bed I shuddered, decided he has a pretty damn good idea, and started doing the same to him.
Feeling another boys -feeling OWEN'S- body for the first time, even through a shirt, was almost enough to make me explode. He was so firm! I could feel his ribs and these little muscles in his side bunch and move as he ran his hands over me. It just made me want even more. Want what? I have no idea. Just moremoremoremore!
Then I ran my hands down a little bit too far. My fingers below his ribcage, where his shirt must have ridden up, and touched SKIN.
I moaned. Oh god! His SKIN! It was even softer than I thought. Silky and smooth and by far the single greatest thing I'd ever touched. EVER. I didn't even waste time. I ran my hand over every inch of exposed skin and when I didn't have any more, I moved under his shirt. Felt his ribs without a shirt between my hand. Felt those tiny little muscles. Felt him shiver as I moved up his side. Felt him twitch as I hit a ticklish spot.
And then like that was what he was waiting for his hands stormed under my shirt like an invading army.
I moaned again. Shivered. His hands ran over my stomach and I knew what he was feeling. Flat nothingness. I didn't have chiseled abs or even one of those V things leading down to my crotch. He didn't seem to care that I wasn't a god. He moaned into my mouth and slowly explored every inch.
It made me wonder what was down there on him so I reluctantly moved my hand from his way-more-interesting-than-it-probably-should-be side and down to his stomach. It was smooth and flat, but soft. There weren't any ridges or ripply muscles but I still moaned anyway. Ok, I can definitely see why he's so interested in mine.
We set up sort of a rhythm. His hands on my side when mine were on his stomach, then slowly switching, then going back. In the back of my head in the tiny little part that wasn't filled with the sexy haze of "OH MY GOD OWEN'S SKIN!!!" I noticed that aside from my stomach he didn't touch me anywhere I didn't touch him first. Even in the middle of all this, he still went out of his way not to push for more than I was ready for.
I smiled into our kiss and my heart swelled up with love.
And then I shifted, or maybe he did, and our hips slid together. The hardness, that I'd done a pretty super human job of ignoring, that was trying to break it's way through my pants pushed against another hardness straining against Owen's. And that was it. I cried out into Owen's mouth as the most intense pleasure I'd ever felt shot from my crotch through my entire body. I felt like my entire body was trying to shoot its way out of my cock. I didn't even think. I just wanted more of that feeling, more and more and more so I ground my still shooting dick into Owen's erection over and over.
I felt his cry as much as I heard it. It seemed to echo through my mouth, wash over my brain and stop in my heart. I could FEEL him twitching against me down there and if I hadn't just had the most incredible orgasm of my life, that alone would have made me cum all over myself. We weren't even kissing anymore, even though our lips were still together. I was going limp and he was moaning and twitching and pushing against me and for a few seconds I just felt so PROUD of myself. Andy the nothing, Andy the loser, Andy the afterthought just gave the nicest, most wonderful, most perfect boy in the world the best pleasure he'd ever felt.
Let's see anyone at school do anything half that important in their life.
But it only lasted for a little bit. Even as the mess in my pants started to cool and Owen slowly stopped twitching in my arms, I started coming back to myself.
….no pun intended.
Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod! I just came in my pants like a twelve year old! I've never been more embarrassed in my life. My whole body tensed up and I wanted to throw myself off the bed and run away in the worst way but I was still tangled around Owen. He was still kind of out of it, resting his head against my shoulder and breathing heavily, so maybe if I don't move he'll just.....not notice? God that's stupid. I was grinding -GRINDING! Like some stripper!- against him when it happened. Of COURSE he noticed. I should just run. I could just hide in Cheryl's basement until the world forgets I exist or this horrible, blushy heat finally melts my face off and no one can ever recognize me again or-
"Please don't freak out." Owen said it so softly I almost didn't hear it, but that voice had never not been enough to cut through my....problems. I felt his arms tighten around me. Not hard or confining, but enough so I couldn't just throw myself off the bed without taking him with me. If I even could, his grip was stronger than I thought it would be and- focus Andy! You have cum drying in your pants and Owen's talking to you.
Things I Never Thought I'd Need To Tell Myself, by Andy Baxter.
"Please don't freak out." Owen said again. This time he pulled back a little and tried to look at me. I turned away. God the absolute LAST thing I wanted to do was look in his eyes after- "Look at me. Please?" he begged.
I did. How could I not?
His face was flushed, more red than I'd ever seen it before, but it was his eyes that got my attention more than anything else. They were practically glowing with emotion that was completely and totally him, no alien movie flickers this time. "You don't-that was-" He let out a frustrated breath. He seemed more annoyed with himself than me though so at least I didn't need to add "Owen's mad at me" to my list of reasons to freak out. "Shit why is this so hard to say?" he muttered under his breath. "I....that was the most amazing thing that ever happened to me." he said, his eyes never leaving mine. "It was amazing and wonderful and perfect and I, it wasn't because of the cumming. Even though that was....wow." I blushed a bit because, yeah, wow. "It was because it was with you. I've never felt closer to you than I do right now. It's like, I never thought I'd be this close to you. I wanted to all year but....and now I am and it's like you let me in, let me get close to you in a way I thought it would take a lot longer for you to feel comfortable with. And that's why I don't think I've ever been happier in my life." He chewed his bottom lip for a few seconds. "So, please, please don't freak out about this. I don't think I could stand it if something that makes me this happy upsets you so much."
I blinked, rapidly, because that's pretty much the only part of my body I could control right then. Can your heart actually stop from being so in love with someone? Is there such a thing as too much? This was even beyond my usual disbelief than someone like Owen could ever be interested in me. That I could make Owen that happy just by touching him, by letting him touch me, it seemed wrong somehow. Even as it seemed like the rightest thing in the world.
I had no idea why he liked me as much as he did, and I probably never would, but I could believe it. Not that I didn't before, or I thought he lied or anything, but maybe I didn't have to understand it for it to be true. Maybe I didn't need to hold back a tiny, huge, part of myself until I understood just what was so special about me. Maybe the only thing special about me is how special I am to Owen. And maybe that's the best possible way to be special. Maybe I don't need to let go of my insecurities for them to just....not matter. At least with this.
And, really, there's only one thing I can say to that. One way to let Owen know all that without trying to bumble my way through explaining it.
"I love you." I said. It was the way I'd always wanted to say it too. Clear and strong and without even the tiniest urge to look away. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in surprise. And then, just because, as we all know, I can only hold the me back for so long I started to explain anyway. "I've loved you since you played Caramel Dancing for me, I think, but I didn't know what it was until you kissed me. The feeling, not the song. Um, not that you didn't know what I-" I shook my head. "But I didn't say anything because I wanted it to be perfect but that wasn't really it because I think I was scared that if I said it then I'd know there was no way you could feel that way about me because I'm, well, me and I know that's stupid now and I wasn't freaking out because of what we did, which I don't really expect you to believe because, you know, me, but I was embarrassed because I came in my pants like a kid and-"
He shut me up with a kiss.
Thank fucking god.
He pushed me on my back and kissed me hard and frantic and I automatically opened my mouth because hard %2B frantic usually = tongue but he just started placing little kisses all over my lips and chin and nose and cheeks. I squirmed slightly, not a bad squirm but my face was getting really wet and-
"I love you too." he said, quick and panting. He kissed me again on the lips. "I love you too." Nose. "I love you too." Forehead. "I love you too." Cheek. "I love you too." Other cheek. "I love you too." Eyelid.
That went on for, god I dunno, not long enough. The wetness in my pants totally forgotten. I just lay there grinning the biggest freaking grin I'd ever had in my life just waiting to explode from the happiness. I wasn't even embarrassed about the tears leaking out of my eyes. He loved me! Owen loved me! No! He lovES me! Present tense. He loves me! Holy shit my Owen loves me! Nothing else mattered. I'd gladly live the worst parts of my life a million times over if this is what's waiting for me at the end. Nothing could ever bring me down from how this makes me feel. Nothing.
Eventually he did stop kissing me. I didn't mind. I didn't need him to kiss me for me to feel the love. It was practically beating itself against my body. He gave me one last bruising kiss on my lips then wrapped his arms tightly around me and rolled us over so I was on top of him. I yelped in surprise, then giggled hysterically. He giggled back as he tightened his grip and pulled me down so our bodies were pressed together and his face was buried in my neck.
"You're mine." he said and I shivered. Both from his words and the feeling of his lips moving against my neck. "I love you so much and I'm never letting you go."
I smiled uncontrollably.
Best. Day. Ever.
The smile was still on my face five hours later when I was riding my bike home.
I mean, you'd think that after all that leaving would be the most depressing thing possible but, nope. It wasn't. Not that I wasn't a bit sad that I was going home. I was. It's just.....he fucking loves me! Owen. Loves. Me.
How the hell can anything upset me after that?
Everything was different too. Not the way it was after I kissed Owen the first time. All that stuff was external, and, probably not really related to me kissing Owen all that much if I thought about it. This different was all inside me. It made a world that used to be at best not horrible into something wonderful and magical. The air against my face as I rode smelled sweeter. The sounds of trees moving in the slight breeze sounded crisper. The red setting sun looked more red and.....settey. And it didn't even matter how stupid that last one was because Owen still loves me, no matter how stupid I am!
It was hard not to shout out happy greetings to everyone I passed. Not that I passed many, or any really, people but still. I wished there WERE some people so I could give them a big 'Hi!' and a wave and a grin and share the happiness. Well, maybe not share. It's MY happiness and they don't deserve it. But for the first time in my life I wanna be the person someone looks at and thinks 'Wow, if I was half that happy my life would be awesome.' before daydreaming about me getting hit by a truck.
Maybe it's for the best though. I think if I actually started talking to anyone I'd probably melt back into normal Andy and freeze up and stutter and that would just kill my 'loved by Owen' high right dead. Plus I couldn't stop humming and softly singing every peppy, upbeat pop song I knew -which is way more than I'd like to admit- and getting caught doing that would be a bit embarrassing.
As I rode home I fought the urge to take out my cell phone and look at my new wallpaper for the fiftieth time. Before I left Owen made me take a picture with him. I always thought it would take three apocalypses happening at the same time during a tornado the day a Culture Club reunion topped every music chart in the world for me to agree to get my picture taken. But in the end it only took Owen saying he loved me and asking with that smile and those eyes.
We were sitting on his bed, looking right at the camera -phone- that was propped up on his desk. He was sitting to my right with his arm around my shoulders. I had my arm around his waist and my forehead was resting against his lightly. The head part wasn't even posed. We'd taken about ten pictures before that and every one of them turned out bad for some reason. I was complaining about the flash messing with my eyes and he turned my head toward his and kissed each of my eyelids once before telling me we could stop if I wanted. I smiled and was about to tell him that I didn't wanna stop until he got the picture he wanted when the camera went off. We both completely forgot that he had it set to take five pictures every thirty seconds. But it was so perfect. My head was against his and even half turned away from the phone he had this look of total adoration on his face. And even though my eyes were closed and I couldn't see it at the time, in the picture I was just glowing under it.
It was the best picture I'd ever taken. And despite how much I usually hate looking at myself, I loved it. So much that I made him send it to me before I left.
And now I'm thinking about it so I pretty much HAVE to look at it. I was reaching in my pocket when I turned the corner to go down the street next to mine and saw two people, a guy and a girl, halfway down the road walking towards me. I forgot about the phone and grinned to myself. Screw what I said before, I'm gloating!
With a giddy little pep to my peddling -yes, that's possible- I sped up a bit. I came up on their right and started to slow down when I got closer. "Hi!" I yelled as cheerfully as I could, half surprised that I could actually go through with it. "Isn't it a great da-" The words died in a tiny choke when I got close enough and saw who they were.
Jarred and Amanda.
For exactly three seconds I panicked. I'd never seen Jarred outside school before and he was like five minutes from my house, I was surprised I didn't pass out from the sudden jolt of horror that shocked my heart. But two things killed the panic before it could get started. One, I'm on a bike. Not even super athlete quarterback boy could catch me on foot. Two, Owen just told me he loved me. I'm in the middle of the best day of my life. Which considering how amazing the LAST best day of my life was, should tell you how perfect this one was. There was no way I was letting Jarred and his stupid, vapid girlfriend ruin that for me just by existing.
I was a little bit proud of how mature that last thought was.
"Oh god, what are YOU doing here?" Amanda huffed disgustedly. "Please don't tell me you actually live around here, I thought this was a nice neighborhood."
Which probably means she lives around here. Great. Well, at least that explains why Jarred's here. I pushed back a sliver of worry that wanted to know just how many times Jarred's been within walking distance of my house. I could worry about that later. Not letting it ruin today.
"Keep riding, faggot." Jarred said with a glare as I rode by. He did that stupid, jocky fake lunge thing that I'd had happen to me at least a thousand times in my life and I tried to jerk away, almost falling off my bike. I flushed as I struggled to keep it upright. Goddammit! I KNEW he wasn't gonna actually attack me, I NEVER fall for that, but I was just so tense about riding by Jarred that I could stop myself.
I sped up, my face turning red with anger and strangely enough not even a little embarrassment. I heard them laughing behind me. "Oh my god, he almost fell." I heard Jarred say, sounding stupidly proud of it. "Look at him run away!"
I'm riding you idiot.
"I know!" Amanda cackled back. I was far enough away where I shouldn't have heard them so I knew they were talking loudly just so I would. "He's probably in a hurry to go suck his boyfriend's dick!"
I felt a cold ball of dread spring to life in the middle of my chest. Did they know about Owen? Almost as soon as I thought it I knew it couldn't be true. It would have been all over school in a nanosecond if they did. Plus people had been saying similar stuff to me for years. The relief lasted just a tiny bit longer than the dread before boiling over into rage. How fucking dare she make fun of Owen! Even if she didn't know he existed it pissed me off almost more than I'd ever been pissed off in my life that she'd reduce our relationship to a cheap sex act. Especially after we'd sort of had a kind of sex and all the wonderful, beautiful things Owen said afterwords.
And, as we know, my mouth has a hard time staying shut when I'm this mad.
"At least I only suck my boyfriend's dick!" I shouted back at her. "How much of the football team did you suck your way through before you found one that'd suck yours back?"
And maybe that one wasn't so mature, but I was still proud of it. I half wanted to punch my self in the face for actually saying it out loud, but still, proud.
I didn't even wait around to hear what they had to say. I'd heard it before and I was pretty sure I'd pretty much just asked for a future ass kicking but I couldn't bring myself to care. I felt better. The biggest assholes in my life had tried to ruin the greatest day of my life and they failed. Today is the gift that keeps on giving.
I grinned to myself, flipped them off, and pedaled furiously all the way home.