Well That Was Unexpected
By David Spowart
Edited by J Matlock
By David Spowart
Edited by J Matlock
It was a very hot night sitting in the dorm; just the three of us sweating like cheap hookers. The AC was on the fritz again and the heat was almost unbearable. My name is Josh, and I am 19 years old, the same age as my friends. We all came to the same college, as we had been tight since we were kids and it didn't feel right to separate. Todd, one of my best friends, shares this room with me, while Dale, my best friend, lost the coin toss and now shares with some guy called Ty. They seem to get on, but Ty does not hang with us.
There aren't many secrets between us. We all shared when we lost our virginity around the same time in high school. Yeah...prom. What a night that was! When I say no secrets, I actually do have one I haven't shared with them and don't intend on telling them anytime soon. I think I am gay; well, I'm almost sure to be honest, as my fantasies are all guy-related and very rarely include girls anymore, unless it's a bisexual fantasy.
So, we are sitting in my room and the heat is unbearable. Todd slips his shirt off, as do I, shortly followed by Dale. Let me describe my friends in detail: Todd is about six feet tall, dirty blonde hair, worn surfer style, and has very little hair otherwise, except the treasure trail leading to the promised land, as he called it. He has the perfect six-pack, and well-defined muscle tone. All in all, Todd is perfect, and, definitely part of many of my wet dreams. Dale is about 5' - 8" and, well, has deep blue eyes that the girls love. He can get a girl's panties off without even talking. He is so damn hot! His hair is jet black-not dyed. It's all natural and, God, he has me sweating just looking at him. Yes, my friends are hot as fuck. Mind you, I am not missing out on the good looks front either. There is not an ounce of fat on me. Swimming for the school saw to that. I don't have a blemish on my skin, and my hair is a light brown, worn short, as I like it.
We just sat there hoping that the AC would kick in, but it never did. We started rambling on about our sexual prowess and our conquests, or, in my case, lack thereof. Girls just don't do it for me. Don't get me wrong; I've kept up appearances with cheerleaders and such. I even got laid at the prom, but still, it never really sent out fireworks for me. The bull shitting continued, with Dale telling his tale.
Dale started talking about this girl who he had in his room, when, according to him, he and Ty tag- teamed her for almost two hours. She was totally fucked by the end, as he claims he fucked her solid for 45 minutes without a break. Yeah, I boned up just at the thought of it. "God, it's too fucking hot," I moaned. And then Todd mentioned that he got a blow Job off Megan Richards during a lunch break, and we just looked at him and smiled. "Wow, fuck. Well done, dude," Dale said to him with that shit-faced grin of his. It got so hot we all shook out of our jeans and just wore shorts, as that felt better, except it was now much harder to hide my very apparent boner. My own sexual experiences have been limited, so I had little to contribute to the conversation other than my already-told prom escapades. At least I am no virgin.
But, I first had sex with a guy when I was 18 after a football game. It wasn't planned. I was out with my younger brother and bumped in to Kyle, one of the guys on my swim team. We were chatting, and my dad picked up my brother, with him reminding me that my curfew was midnight, "...and don't be late or next weekend will be ten."
Well, Kyle and I talked and went for a walk. Nothing obvious was happening, and I never picked up on any signals that he was flirting with me. Nobody even suspected that about me, so I never anticipated him grabbing me behind the bleachers and kissing me! At first I recoiled and he looked shocked; but then I grabbed him and we kissed for almost 20 minutes. His parents were out, so we went back to his place, and, well, you can guess what was next for two horny 18-year-old dudes. He fucked me hard! He took his time to get me ready, which was good and slow, and then I returned the favour. So, needless to say, I didn't brag about this experience to Dale and Todd this night.
For some reason over the last couple of days Dale has been a bit off with me, and I don't have a clue why. He usually can't shut up. Apart from his tag-team story, which he really told to Todd anyway. His side of our conversations were short and to the point; no small talk, no buddy banter. "Dale, what's up dude?" I asked. "What do you mean?" he asked sharply. "I don't know, dude. Have I done something to piss you off?" I asked. "No more than usual," he replied. "Well, what gives? You've been off with me all week, bro." I stated. "Just leave it, Josh," he replied. "Oh, so there is something," I said. Then Todd spoke up, "Yeah Dale, What gives? I have noticed this atmosphere as well, dude. And it's not the AC."
"I don't want to have this conversation now," Dale said.
"Well I do. So spill!" I said forcefully. I hate us fighting. Especially since I don't have a clue what this was about.
"I saw you," he responded. "I saw you, dude."
"You saw what?" asked Todd.
"He knows," he replied.
"You saw what, exactly?" I asked with a bit of concern.
"You really want to have this out now, Josh?" he looked at me with a look I could not work out, but I just nodded.
"Monday night I drove from the mall. I drove down Cooper Street, dude."
I began to panic now. What the fuck had he seen? I started to shake with fear. Had I just been busted by my best friend?
Let me explain Cooper Street to you.
About 10 miles outside of the main campus area there are a few places to go to get your freak on. But Cooper Street is a well-known gay pick-up area, and I was out on the scout on Monday night. So, yeah, a sense of panic swiped over me.
"I saw you, Josh," he repeated.
"What's Cooper Street?" inquired Todd.
I, at this point, was in total shock and stared hard at the floor. I was freaking out here. I was being confronted by Dale. Dear, sweet, not a vindictive bone in his hot-as-fuck body, Dale. Dale, who had fuelled my thoughts as I jacked off many a time. And, here he was, just staring at me with those eyes, those blue eyes. Shit! Keep looking at the floor. Don't look up. Don't.
"So. What gives?" he asked. I didn't answer. I couldn't answer. I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to say. How could I explain? What had Dale seen? Is my life over? Do they know? How will they treat me if they do know? I've known these two guys most of my life, and I'm about to have the conversation from hell.
"What the fuck is Cooper Street?!!" Todd yelled.
"It's a fag pick up place, dude," Dale answered.
Well that sort of answers that part of my question. He used the 'F' word, and I'm well and truly fucked. He will tell my dad and my brother. He will probably kick my ass. My life is over. I'm going to lose my friends, and I am going to be branded a 'faggot' and my best friends will spread it about. I'm fucked.
"Okay. What's that got to do with Josh?" he asked.
"Do you want to tell him, Josh?" he asked me.
"I don't know what you are talking about, Dale. So drop it, and stop accusing me of anything, okay? So just fucking drop it!" I yelled.
"You wanted to have this out! The box is open, so come on, spill! Remember, I saw you. I saw everything," he scowled at me.
I just stood up and started to walk out, and said, "If you have any care for me you, will drop it and talk to me in private, Dale. You owe me that much." He said nothing, and I looked at him and Todd and left the room.
Had he seen everything? Shit. I walked out into the square outside our dorm complex and panicked. Where will I go? What will I do? Will he spread rumours about me? I have been here three weeks. I'm just a freshman and my college life is ruined. And, by my best friend. What did he see? I was discrete. Well, okay, not totally, but I was in the back alley with him. How could he see me? He couldn't have seen me. He might have seen me going around the back, but he couldn't have seen me sucking him off, could he?
Drugs. I could tell him I was buying weed. That could work, couldn't it? Will he believe me? I would rather be branded a pothead than a faggot at college any day. But he was adamant he saw everything. But how could he?
"Josh," I heard someone shouting in my direction. "Josh, wait up," Dale yelled at me. I looked over to him and he was alone, walking towards me. "Okay, we are alone. So, what gives, dude?" he asked, with a bit of venom in his speech as he looked at me. "What did you say to Todd?" I asked softly. "Nothing yet," he replied. "But I will if you don't start talking to me. Cooper Street," he repeated. "I was buying weed," I responded, and he looked at me with the look of a concerned parent, and then smirked. "Okay, so you are just going to bullshit me and lie. Is that it, Josh?" he said again, with venom. "That's the truth. I was buying weed. End of story," I repeated, and he started to walk away.
"I parked at the back of the alley, dude. I was worried when I saw you go round back, so I drove round the back, Josh. And what I saw wasn't you buying drugs!" he yelled at me, and my world just collapsed around me.
And all went dizzy. The area in front of me disappeared. I blacked out.
"JOSH! Fuck's sake, Josh, are you okay, dude? Speak to me, JOSH!!!"
I slowly opened my eyes and I saw Dale, with genuine concern in those eyes of his. "Josh, you okay, dude? Speak to me, Josh!" he shouted at me to wake me up. "What happened?" I asked. "Fuck do I know. You just dropped," he said, with concern again in his voice. I sat up and looked at him, but not into his eyes. I couldn't look at his eyes and see the disgust that would be there. And he started to speak again to me, but without the venom that he first spoke with. "I saw what you were doing with that guy, Josh." I looked again at him, and couldn't determine what to say to make things better. I was at a loss. My life as I knew it was over. My friends will walk away from me. I'm fucked.
"You don't have to worry anymore. I will move out of the dorm in the morning," I said, without any substance to my words. He looked shocked at what I was saying, and he said something to me unexpected, "What the fuck are you talking about moving out, you dumb ass?" And I was the one to look shocked. "Dude, just talk to me. I didn't want to have this out tonight. I was going to wait until Todd went home this weekend so we could talk," he said with some resemblance, again, of concern. "But we definitely need to talk." I nodded, and he ruffled my hair like he always did.
We went for a walk around the campus and sat under an oak tree well away from prying ears. He started to ask me questions I never wanted to hear from my friend's lips. I just sat there with my head in my hands, listening to the guy I had been wanking over for the last few years, and he was outing me.
"Dude, you are by far the best person I know. You are kind, considerate, and we have never had a fight over anything in our lives. You even saved my life when I was drowning when I was ten, so I thought we were like brothers. So, why can't you talk to me, of all people?" he said with a bit of emotion in his voice. I was hurt because he was hurt that I couldn't confide in him over this. Now I had to explain it to him to stop him from being hurt any longer.
"I couldn't tell you," I said just above a whisper, with tears almost coming with those words. "Why the fuck not, Josh? I am your best friend, am I not?" he said, looking directly into my eyes. "I thought so, but after this, I just don't know," I responded with the same emotion. "Josh, there is nothing you could do that would stop that fact," he said, stroking my head. "I just can't stand the fact that you might hate me," I said, with tears streaming down my face.
"Dude...Josh, I could never hate you. I'm just shocked, that's all." I looked at him and I could see the questions whirling in his eyes. I would and I am going to answer them...its time to just come clean and be me. I have to come out to my best friend. He knows now anyway. He just needs to hear it from me.
"Dale, I am sorry if I have hurt you. I never wanted that, and I do very much value our friendship-yours above all others. But, this terrifies me and I just did not want to face you nor Todd about me, as I feared I would lose that trust, that friendship. So...I just hid it." I continued to speak, looking at him intently, trying to gauge how he was taking it.
"I cannot help who I am, Dale. I have not chosen to be like this. I cannot help that I am GAY, and I am genuinely sorry if this has ended our friendship. I regret that, and if it has ended now, you can see why I never told you or Todd," I continued. He said nothing. He just listened to what I had to say.
"Dale, as I said, if this has ended our friendship, I understand. But there is one thing I ask-no beg- you. Please don't out me on campus. I am not ready for that amount of grief."
I cried, and just looked at him taking all this information in, and I could not gauge his reaction like I was used to. So I just stood up, wiped my eyes, and started to walk back to the dorm, ready to pack my things up and prepare for my college life without the support of my friends. And, I have not even talked to Todd yet, but he is more Dale's friend than mine, even though we have been close friends for over nine years. He was Dale's friend first, so he will go along with Dale. So in my mind I have lost two of the strongest influences in my life.
As I walked up to the dorm room I heard footsteps behind me. Dale walked with purpose towards me, and a bit of panic hit me for some reason. With tears falling from Dale's eyes, he grabbed me and pulled me into his chest, and he started talking with raw emotion.
"You are, and always will be my brother, my best friend, and my go-to guy," he sobbed. "I couldn't give a shit if you are gay. I am just upset you couldn't come to me. I thought you knew me better than that, dude," he continued to sob, silently. "I'm sorry. I truly am," I said, while holding him tight. "You don't hate me then?" I asked, hopefully. "Never," he replied. "No more secrets, okay? You can tell me anything, and I mean anything." I just nodded, and then the door to the room opened.
"Okay, what the fuck's happened now?" Todd inquired. We just smiled, and Dale said, "Todd, Josh has something to tell you, and you need to listen, okay?" He just closed his mouth and nodded, and he went back into the room. I looked at Dale and he said, "He needs to know, Josh. You know that. So tell him. I have your back, as always."
I walked into the living area of our dorm. The AC was still not working and the room was very uncomfortable, as was my mood.
Dale sat down near Todd, and he gave us strange looks, like his head was saying 'what the fuck's going on' and 'how will it affect me' sort of look.
"Todd, I have something I need to tell you, dude," I started, but got cut off when Todd shocked me by saying,
"How? What? How did?..." I couldn't get the words out.
"I am not stupid, Josh," he replied, with no malice in his words.
"But, how..." he cut me off again.
"Dude, I have known for over a year. I just didn't want to be the one that outted you," he continued to speak. "You are one of my closest friends. I just figured you would tell me in your own time, Josh." And I smiled. My world wasn't collapsing around me after all.
And I asked, "But, how?"
"How did I know, you mean?" and I nodded.
"Gary James Anderson," he responded. "What about him?" I asked.
Again, I will explain: G J Anderson was the captain of my swim team and was Kyle's best friend. The first guy I had ever had sex with, Kyle, that is.
"As I said, I have known a year after he started mouthing off that his best friend had nailed you. I told him it was for the betterment of his health to keep it to himself, or not only he was going to get hurt but two peoples' reputations would go down the river. He heeded my advice and kept quiet.
"Wow!" Dale said. "And you did not think to let me know this little tidbit of information?" he continued looking at Todd. "Wasn't my place to say. That was Josh's. But as soon as you mentioned Cooper Street, I sort of guessed where you were coming from and thought it would come to a head. But I also know how close you two guys are, so I just left it alone, played dumb, and let you go and talk," he finished. "Wow, fuck," Dale said. "Smart for a dumb jock," he laughed.
"So, are we okay, Todd?" I asked again, hoping we were still friends. "Dude, I have never had a problem with gay people. Christ, my cousin Jack is gay, as is your cousin Peter, Dale. So, no, I don't have any problem with you, Josh. My opinion of you has not and will never change. You are my brother from another mother. Remember that," And I started crying, but not out of fear, but for the respect I have for my two best friends. That for me was...well, that was unexpected.