Well That Was Unexpected
By David Spowart
Edited by J Matlock
By David Spowart
Edited by J Matlock
"No way, no how" I yell at Todd.
"Dude, it won't kill you; it's just cooling off" He laughed, as he described the alligator basking in our pool.
"How did it get in, anyway, there's a fence?" Lisa added to my already scornful admonishment of Todd, who was still laughing his ass off...DICK!!
"Animal control will be out sometime this afternoon" Cal said, hanging up the phone.
"It's a big fucker" proclaimed Dale, coming back into the house. Aaron and Kyle have yet to surface. They went straight to their room upon arrival; and, well, they have missed dinner, and breakfast, and from what we can hear, they are most definitely alive.
"Tom and Lacy arrive later tonight, as do Mark and Lucas. Still, I haven't heard from Chris, though" I say, as we walk out of the house and head on down to South Beach.
As we approached the beach, the theme song to `the Big Bang Theory' sounded from Cal's back pack. He retrieved his phone and flipped it open.
"Oh, hey Jake" he replied.
"Yeah, Aaron and Kyle are in. Better make a noise, though, my friend; they are making up for lost time, if you know what I mean" Cal said, in a one sided conversation.
"Oh, Jake, tell them not to use the pool, there is an alligator in it. No, dude, I am not fucking with you, have a look. Animal control is coming out this afternoon. Okay dude, catch you later" Cal said, flipping his phone shut and stowing it back into his back pack.
"Get in okay?" I ask, and he smiled at his best friends' arrival.
"This week is going to be epic" Cal replies, hugging me close and not giving a shit. I liked it, I liked it a lot.
We found a spot on the beach and set up base. "You want some oil, Babe?" Cal asked, and it was hot, but not that hot. "No, not yet, going for a swim" I replied.
"I would have swum earlier, but god fucking zilla took the pool" I added with a smirk.
"Shit, better tell the guys about the fucker" Cal replied, and Dale and Lisa were smooching, not listening to anyone or anything. Todd and Laura were in deep conversation about something; what, I had no idea.
"No answer" Cal added.
"Babe, it's a bit hard to miss" I add.
"Yeah, but still, I'll call the house and leave a message on the machine" he added, and did just that.
"You coming?" I asked, as I stood up and began to walk toward the water. He followed and took my hand in his; and, again, I liked it.
"Jesus, can't your kind control yourselves? There are children here" a woman of about thirty shouted at us. I looked around and saw at least three or four couples, walking hand in hand and not caring.
"Erm, excuse me?" Cal said before I had a chance.
"Homosexual practices should be kept inside, away from innocent children" she replied, and my blood began to boil.
"I am holding his hand, we are not having sex in public, MADAM" he replied.
"Disgusting" she added.
"Bigot homophobe" I responded, finally.
"Hey guys, wait up" Todd yelled, as he caught up with us, Laura bringing up the rear. Todd could see I was fuming, somewhat.
"Told you, dude, some people are not okay with Public displays" Todd whispered, as Laura looked daggers at the woman, who was still bitching as she lay back down.
Cal just looked at me, and I could see mischief in his eyes.
"What?" I asked, as Laura and Todd walked ahead a little.
"Let's give the bigoted bitch something to really moan about" he said, and pulled me into a very long and passionate kiss. The only "Tut Tut" came from queen bitch, watching the man I love show how much he did so...fuck her!!" I said to myself, and re-took his hand and caught back up to our friends with my mood brightened, somewhat.
We spent a couple of hours on the beach, and, apart from the bitch, it was a good day. We headed back to Cal's house and walked up the driveway and opened the door.
"It was so not fucking funny" I heard Kyle yell, as we entered the house.
"From what we saw, it was the funniest thing ever" shouted Travis, and Jake agreeing. Aaron was on the floor, crippled in laughter, as a scene of some sort had finished on the flat screen.
"Hey guys" Cal said, hugging both Travis and Jake, and I still wondered what the hilarity was all about.
"That shit has got to be put on YouTube; it is so fucking hilarious" Aaron said, still pissing himself and could not control himself.
"What, Aaron, yet another film involving me?" Kyle said, with scorn.
"What film is this?" asked Dale, as he came in at the end of the conversation.
"Dudes, you have to see this shit" Aaron said, and a pouting Kyle just sat back down and waited for the film to start again.
We watched the screen with the camcorder attached, and saw Kyle in his shorts and I think I already guessed what had happened; but could not stop myself from watching the developing scene. Aaron was kissing Kyle, and Travis was sitting on a chair with Jake obviously holding the DVR.
They all stood, talking, and Aaron opened the sliding door to the pool deck; and what I thought was about to happen, happened.
Kyle ran out the door and dive bombed the pool, with Aaron following; but stopping short of the pool, as he saw the alligator move toward Kyle. "Fuck Kyle, move, fucking move! Behind you; GET THE FUCK OUT!!" Aaron yelled, and Kyle turned, looked in horror as the beast moved closer. Kyle, who is a very accomplished swimmer, would have beaten Michael Phelps at that moment, as he swam for his very life.
He managed to just get out of the pool, and was panicking and screaming like a little girl; then he began to cry.
"Shit, are you okay?" a concerned Aaron asked, holding his lover close; and Travis, now laughing, and Jake, laughing just as hard.
"Guys, so not funny" Aaron scorned, but, obviously changed his mind after he saw it on disc.
"Fucking hell, didn't you get the message? I left a message on the machine" Cal said, and went to Kyle, as it was his house.
"Shit, Kyle, I am so sorry, man" Cal said, hugging a still shaking Kyle; and I felt for my former sexual interest. I mean, who couldn't care; he was my first.
"I'm fine, just a little shaken up" he replied.
Over the next hour or so, the disc was played to death. Todd saw the funny side, and the side from Kyle; it would have been pretty scary.
"Hey dude, I would have left a parcel in the pool, if that had been me" Todd offered, as a shallow attempt at comfort.
Kyle just forced a smile, and Aaron ejected the disc from the machine and snapped it in half and handed it to his lover.
"Thank you" he said, and pulled Aaron to him, hugging him as close as some sort of security blanket. I could see that Aaron was more than willing to provide that secure feeling.
We heard them before we saw them, three guys dressed in khaki, walked past the sliding door, leading to the pool.
"Mr Kenner?" one asked.
"Yeah, thanks for coming" Cal responded, shaking the guys hand.
"No problem. That one is Buford" he replied, pointing at the alligator.
"Huh?" was his dumb struck response.
"Buford. He's about sixty years old. We tagged him back in 87, but the so and so keeps coming for a dip in some holiday makers pool" he snickered.
"What will you do with him?" I asked.
"Oh, we will scoop him out, take him deep into the glades, and set him free. It's about the tenth time for me with old Buford" the guy smiles.
"Okay, just leave it to us. It will take about thirty or so minutes, and we will be on our way" he added, and walked away.
We watched as they tackled the beast with sling hooks and muzzles, and strapping. They taped up its powerful jaws and carried it on a tarp stretcher and left the area. "You might want to give your pool guy a call; he left a little present for you" the guy laughed. We looked into the pool and shit was lying on the bottom.
"Is that yours or the alligators?" asked Todd, staring at Kyle.
"Still not fucking funny" bemoaned Kyle, as Aaron hugged him close.
"Fuck, was that a crocodile those guys were carrying out?" asked Lucas, as he and Mark walked into the commotion.
"Alligator" I replied, as I grabbed my brother in a loving and needed hug.
"I see this weekend is going to be an interesting one" added Mark, as he hugged it out with Dale.
"Good flight?" I asked.
"It was until the ass of mass destruction here almost caused the plane to re-land" replied Lucas. We looked at Mark.
"Fuck, I had a couple of Burrito's and it gave me gas; so, hey, its nature" replied an unremorseful Mark, who sat down and smirked.
"Bro, it was almost as thick as soup; shit soup, but soup. I am still chewing it. If the stewardess could have opened a window at thirty seven thousand feet, trust me; nobody would have complained. They put the cabin extraction on full" added Lucas, and Mark, sitting there, as proud as anyone could have been.
"I'm travelling back with Tom and Lacy. There is no way I am going to give him the opportunity to do that to me again" added Lucas, stating a fact, not a request.
"I'll sort it out, little bro" I said, hugging him close again
"I am so pleased you are here Lucas. I have missed you, man; how's mom and dad?" I ask.
"Erm, dude, there is one thing a 17yr old does not need to hear; they are like teenage rabbits, and that old bed needs replaced" he replied. I could not help but laugh at the thought of a 17yr old boy, lying on his bed, doing what teenage horny fuckers do, and all you hear is your parents doing the wild thing. It's enough to deflate anyone's erection in seconds.
I showed Lucas where he was sleeping, and then my cell went off.
"Oh, hey Tom, where are you?" I ask.
"Just landed, dude. We will get a cab and see you all soon. Do you need us to pick up anything?" he asks, and I realized we had not thought about shopping. "Dude, sorry, but could you get some pizzas? About four large should do. Hang on, Mark is here; better make it five, to be on the safe side" I reply.
"Sure, no probs; see you soon, Josh" he responded, and the call went dead.
"Good idea" Cal said, kissing the back of my neck.
"Well, we can go shopping in the morning" I reply.
"Josh...babe, this sea air has me so horny, hope you can handle a bit of loving tonight" he adds, and I turn and wrap my arms around his neck.
"That bitch has you wound up, doesn't she?" I ask.
"What?...no...I have heard worse, and I know you have. I love you, Joshua Miller, and I want to show you just how much. When Tom and Lacy get here, we will give them our room, and we will use the guest house, as it is better sound proofing; and babe, you will be screaming my name, and when you plow my ass, I know I will be screaming yours" he adds, and kisses me with a soft but passionate kiss.
"I love you so much, Calumn Kenner" I respond.
To be continued...
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Love and peace