(James here with a little epilogue before I get into this chapter. Right at this moment I have a bundle of Kevin sitting on my lap. He's sleepy. He keeps telling me to come to bed. He giggles when I tell him that I'm just starting, that I might be here for a little while because I need to write. He doesn't understand, and I don't know how to explain it any differently to him.
"I love you, Kevin. I love you more than you can ever imagine. You and I, we bonded the moment our eyes met. We put mom and dad through hell, because we came to their home only two days apart. You were such a little thing. You were so frightened. I was so frightened. We were frightened together… but we bonded immediately… are you ready to go to bed now, little one? I'll tuck you in, and hold you in my arms until you fall asleep. I'll be right here if you need me."
That earned a pair of arms around my neck. I put my hands on each side of his bottom, lifted him from my lap, took us to the bathroom, where he peed, played with it a minute or two, giggled, then was ready for me to carry him to bed, lay him down, kiss his lips tenderly, and whisper a million times, "I love you." I cuddled him into my side, listened to his breathing immediately become deep, regular and rhythmical, indicative of his sleep state.
Before I fell off to sleep, I got up, stripped to my skin, and here we go, chapter 10 of Life on The Farm.
Thank you for reading.
I was totally trashed tired by the time the party ended. Emotionally, I was a happy wreck. I was overwhelmed at the thought that people celebrated birthdays. All my life I'd been told that I'd been a mistake, an accident, a person not worth sucking air, and all that other shit they thought would help me grow up to be a responsible adult, giving to society, being worthy of being loved, and being capable of giving love. And there they did just that – they had a party, simply because they loved me in their own way, in a way that I understood from the heart.
Adam and I bade our farewells at the door to my room. I knew he couldn't come in, that he needed to leave before he was 'found' associating with me. I had absolutely no clue as to why he got in so much trouble because of the time we'd spent together. At no time did I feel that I was in any danger with him, in fact, the total and complete opposite was true. As the saying goes, I was able to let my hair down with him. He never shamed me, ever. He actually cared.
And he cared when we parted. I noticed the trace of a tear readying itself to fall from his left eye. Quickly, I reached to his eyelid, ran my finger like a squeegee, and then brushed it away.
And then, something totally foreign to my ways came to my mind… without even thinking, I reached in and kissed his cheek, looked deeply into his eyes, and all I saw inside of them was pure unadulterated love and concern.
Tony observed our interaction. He turned his head away, lowered it, and then looked to Seth. Together, they walked about 15 feet down the hallway. I saw Tony pull Seth into his arms. Tony kissed Seth's forehead. Seth kissed his dad's cheek then he turned toward me, smiled, nodded, and then he took his dad into the conference room.
I took Adam into my room, closed the door, went into the bathroom, used the facilities both ways, washed my hands then entered the main part of my room. Adam was sitting in a chair next to my bed with his head in his hands. He looked up when I made my presence known by just walking into the room. He smiled wistfully, like he had a lot to say but was unable to put words to, at least audibly.
I walked to my bed and sat down. After a few moments of silent contemplation, Adam said softly, "I'm sorry James, really I am. I didn't intend to hurt you. Sometimes people hurt people without even meaning to…"
"Stop it, Adam. You did nothing to hurt me. You gave me the will to live. I wanted to die, yet I didn't. When you came up to me on that sidewalk after I left the bank… I was really thinking about just walking, or running out into traffic. You see, Adam, nobody would have even given a flat flying rats ass fuck if I was dead. My fucking dad hurt me. You didn't. You would never do that, ever. Adam, you would make me a really good dad… we could run away… we'd make it work… I'd be a good son to you. I wouldn't be in the way…"
"James… that wouldn't work for us. We'd never be able to stop running. Forever, we'd be looking over our shoulders. We'd always have that fear in the back of our heads, wondering if and when they'd catch up with us. And we both know they would catch up with us… given enough time. It may not happen today or tomorrow… but they would eventually catch up, and then we'd be separated again."
"I know. It sounded good, though, okay. So, Adam, what happens now?"
"James, the first thing that's going to happen is that you're going to get fixed up so that you can run and play like any other 12 year old boy, and I don't mean run away. You've got to stop running, child. I'm a grown man… it's time for me to stop running, too. After… after… after my wife and son were… when they went away, that's when I really started running. I thought I had it made, and I did. So did they. But you see, life turned in such a way that I didn't understand, couldn't understand. It's all so very complicated, James. When you get older, maybe we can sit down and talk about everything. Maybe then I'll be able to better say what's on my mind."
"Yeah, I have that same problem. I don't know what to think. All I know is that when I'm with you I feel safe and protected. It's really strange, Adam. I've never felt this way about anyone, ever, but I like it… I don't feel afraid. Uhm, can you be with me tomorrow… you know… when I go to Kansas City for the operations? I'll be scared." I said then hung my head as the full ramifications of the impending surgeries began descending on my mind, and on my spirit.
Adam took my hand in his. I already knew the answer. I just had to ask the question, because I felt safe asking Adam any question, even though I already knew the answer.
He started to speak. I got up, stood in front of him and put my fingers to his lips to keep him from saying what he was getting ready to say. Adam visibly shook briefly. He quickly put his hand to his mouth, and then hung his head low, in shame.
All of a sudden I felt very angry, I growled, "They don't even fucking know you, Adam. You would never ever hurt anybody, ever, never in a million gazillion years. You're dad material. I know things about people. Did I tell you that before?"
"Yes, a hundred times, at least, maybe more. But I never get tired of hearing you say it. James, may I ask you a question? It's something that's been on my mind…"
"Hey, you're the adult… you don't have to ask my permission for anything…"
"James, it doesn't work that way, not all the time anyway. Okay, may I put you to bed? Would you let me do that for you?"
My anger and irritation immediately dissipated. It just left me, just like that. Nobody had ever wanted to put me to bed before, not an adult anyway.
"Uhm… Adam, I don't know what I'm supposed to do… I've never been asked that question before."
"It's easy. Where are your PJ's? You can change in the bathroom, then I'll tuck you into bed. It's pretty easy."
I giggled while taking off my shirt, tossed it on the chair he had been sitting in, found out that I couldn't reach down to untie my shoes… a pain in my hip shot throughout my body. I winced and moaned. Adam quickly sat me down on the bed, sat down next to me, and pulled me into his side. Softly he said, "You're going to get that pain fixed tomorrow… the doctors are very hopeful that you'll come out of the operation just fine. Now, young man, where are your PJ's?"
I giggled, "I don't wear PJ's… I get all tangled up in them… you know how I dress for bed, now don't you?"
I rolled myself up onto the bed and laid my head on the pillow, and waited. And then when he simply looked at me, I grasped hold of the zipper, lowered it, unsnapped the snap and began pushing my jeans down. He could deal with that. He removed my shoes and socks, and then pulled my jeans on down and off, folded them neatly, sat them on a chair nearby. By then, my underwear were down as far as I could push them without causing me to seize up with pain from my hip.
Adam looked extremely nervous so I covered up with the sheet then looked into his eyes. He took that as permission to go forward. He removed my underwear the rest of the way, folded them neatly and tucked them into my jeans.
I then reached out my arms. I really, really, really needed an Adam hug. He was quick to notice my need. He leaned down, sat on the bed then pulled me into his arms and held on tight, tighter than I'd ever held onto another human being. For those moments, I felt safe. I felt loved. And I wasn't afraid. A few minutes later, Adam gently laid me down on the bed, ruffled the covers so that they were 'just right', fluffed my pillow, and then he leaned in and kissed my forehead with his lips. He said, "Good night, my friend. I've got to go now. I'm not much of a praying person, but I'll be praying for your operations to be totally successful. I'll be checking in with Tony at every opportunity. You're in good hands, James. I've checked those doctors out, they're the best there is. Soon, you'll be riding your bicycle all over God's half acre."
"Yeah, your bicycle. You didn't know?"
"Know what?" I asked, my antennae were fully extended, waiting for him to explain.
"Your bicycle is safe. We got as much stuff as we could get out of your old house before it went to auction. We got your clothes also." Adam said excitedly.
I laughed. "How the fuck am I going to ride my bike on those roads where Tony lives… there's no way, dude."
Adam calmly said, "It's a mountain bike, James. It is made and equipped to handle rough terrain. You'll be just fine."
Immediately, I felt ashamed for my outburst, of doubting him, of probably insulting him. I said, "I'm sorry, Adam. I'm mixed up in the head. Sometimes my mouth works before my brain has a chance…"
"Stop it, James. I understand. It's no problem. You're just a boy, not a man yet. Don't be so hard on yourself. I would have thought the very same thing." Adam said, then to reinforce his words he squeezed me firmly.
And that is how Tony and Seth found us. I heard movement in the room. I looked up and saw them looking at us. Tony looked a bit nervous but he relaxed some when I smiled and nodded.
Tony said, "Adam, we need to be going."
Adam reached down, kissed my forehead, messed my mousey hair up, and then got up and joined Tony. They left my room but Seth stayed behind, walked to my bed, sat down, leaned in and put his head in my neck, kissed the skin, and then his hand snaked its way under the covers to my favorite place. As I began tensing up, he released my maleness then headed down south and gave me a colossal conclusion with his oral capability.
As soon as I recovered, somewhat, my hand found his zipper. He permitted his pants to fall to the floor, at which time I rolled onto my side and found his prized possession. His flavor was wonderful, titillating, and very pleasant. I got busy working with his tool. From the moans and groans emanating from his vocal cords, my ministrations were satisfactory, and soon, very soon his essence was filling my gullet.
Filled and fulfilled, he lay down, cuddled in, and soon we were asleep.
Sometime later, I awoke as he disentangled himself out of my arms, stood up, and properly rearranged the zipper to the opening in his pants. Startled, I looked all around and saw Tony standing next to his son, speaking quietly.
"Hey Tony." I said sleepily.
"Hey yourself. We need to leave now, but we'll be back early in the morning to take you to Kansas City for your operations. They want us there at 6am. That means we'll have to leave about 2:45am to get there on-time."
"Ugh, that's early…"
"Yip, but we've got to get you all fixed up. Good things are coming your way, I just know they are. You and Seth can sleep in the car tomorrow… it's about a 3 hour drive to Kansas City."
"Thanks, Tony, I appreciate what you're doing." I said then got up out of bed and hugged him deeply.
I didn't want to let go, but, Seth was waiting, patiently… or well, maybe not so patiently.
Tony looked at his son, nodded then left the room and closed the door behind him. And then, he stuck his head back in and said, "Five minutes." He smiled then closed the door.
Seth took me into his arms, squeezed tightly, our lips touched very lightly then he looked into my eyes. He was smiling widely and brightly, his pearly white teeth provided a very nice contrast to his chocolate covered skin. He quickly cupped my butt cheeks, squeezed them firmly, and then let go so he could leave with his dad. His parting words were: "I'll see you in the morning… dad is taking the motor home so we have somewhere to sleep tomorrow night…"
On his way out the door I said before he was out of sight, "Thanks, Seth. I… uhm… well… you know."
"Me too!" Seth said happily then he was gone and out of sight.
Way too early in the morning, a nurse arrived with towels, a bottle of special soap to use in the shower, and a tube of stuff with a long nozzle on it which she stuck up my butt and squeezed all the contents into my back side receptacle.
The reaction was immediate. After taking care of that business I washed using the special soap, although I washed my hair with the bottle of regular shampoo. After dressing and brushing my teeth and fixing my hair I got laid back down on the bed, and fell immediately back into a deep, deep sleep.
I was awakened sometime later by a pair of strong arms lifting me from the bed. Startled, I fought for a moment until I realized it was Tony carrying me. After checking out at the nurses' station he carried me to their vehicle, a large motor home equipped with anything and everything you could ever imagine. Seth was already splayed out on the bed in the master bedroom. As if he knew it was me, he lifted the covers. From the dim light I could easily see that he was -naked-. Within seconds, I joined him. He pulled me into his body, squeezed, causing his pleasure pole to nestle deep between my butt cheeks.
Soon, we were on the interstate heading north to Kansas City. And, oh yeah, with the bumping along the freeway, I totally and completely enjoyed that itch way up inside of me getting scratched – thoroughly, and then I was delighted at being filled with Seth's rich, creamy nectar. After he sent me into orbit with his expert oral cavity we fell asleep and didn't wake up until we pulled into the patient driveway at University hospital.
We quickly dressed, just in time to hear Tony getting an earful from a security dude because he'd pulled into a one-way drive-thru area with that monster sized machine. Once the guard left, Tony swore a few times at getting that big ole thing backed out of that tight area.
Seth was giving his dad a serious razzing, laughing and carrying on, which I got caught up in. Tony made a few snide remarks about still being able to handle a couple of unruly kids in his charge. Tony did get quite pissed off because he was made to park in a parking lot 3 blocks away. He got pissed off because there was no shuttle service that would get us to the hospital in time. He called the guard shack and demanded a vehicle to come get us. He walked away. His hands were flailing, and he had his head down, probably so that we couldn't hear the words he chose to use.
Within 10 minutes, we arrived at the hospital's main entrance, which was a good thing because after all the playing around, and being bumped INTO by Seth – ON PURPOSE , I was filled with a desperate need to unload, which I took care of immediately after finding a restroom in the waiting area.
Seth took my clothes for safe keeping while I was being prepped for surgery. The orthopedic surgeon and the eye surgeon saw me in the holding area. Both said that they anticipated everything going as planned, surgery wise, and that I should be as good as new in 3-4 weeks.
The nurse inserted an IV, gave me some medicine, and that was all she wrote.
Several minutes, several hours later I 'came to' in a bright and cheery room with cartoon figures monogrammed all over the walls, and shit. What did they think I was? A little kid? Sheesh. But I didn't worry about it none too long… soon I was back to sleep. I'd wake up every now and again. At about 8pm, the staff brought me a tray with all kinds of food on it, ready to be consumed.
I wasn't hurting too bad. My vision was blurry, but at least they didn't have my head bandaged like a mummy as before.
(James here again… I just put Kevin to bed. He was asleep, and his little sleeping form was lying across my arm which put it to sleep. It's already 11:30 at night… this is going to be one of those long nights… I'm stoked about writing this section of my story, as you'll find out; I hope that I do it justice. James)
A nurse arrived as I was eating. She urged me out of bed to sit at a bedside table that looked more like a small desk. As soon as I sat down, I pulled that damn hospital gown off because all they are good for is getting tangled up. She snickered, and said that her kids were more often naked than dressed. She did give me my underwear, which, with her help, I put on. I was pretty sore, after all.
I had a very small bandage that ran crosswise from my right nut to about the middle between it and my hip bone; you know that one that sticks out in front. Son of a bitch, they shaved off my pubes, what little I had had was gone!
Surprisingly, I was hungry and even more surprising – the food was hella good.
I wondered where Tony and Seth were. I hadn't seen them since I'd been awake enough to know if they were there, or not. The nurse didn't know either, in fact, she had come on shift at 6pm, and hadn't seen them at all.
Dr. Dornenburg, the pediatric orthopedic surgeon and his entourage arrived just as I was rifling through my bag to get the iPod I'd been given. I found it. As soon as I clicked it on, there was a message that said, "We're in the coach catching a few hours of shut eye. Tony."
Dr. D., as he liked to be called, said that my surgery was a huge success, that I would be running and playing within a couple of weeks, and that there were no complications that would make him think otherwise.
Later in the evening, like around 10pm, the eye surgeon entered my room with some medical gizmo that would check the pressure in my eyes. He was delighted. He said that my vision would be kind of cloudy for a few days, but that the surgery was hugely successful. He said I'd likely have to wear glasses, or contacts, for the rest of my life because there was some damage that couldn't be repaired. He also said that I would be more susceptible to retinal detachments throughout my life.
Despite having slept all day, I fell asleep, and only woke up when a nurse entered my room to check on me, and to put the covers in their rightful places.
As expected, I awoke early, ready to go and do 'something'.
A nurse arrived, gave me an injection through the IV tube then once it was all gone she removed the needle, put a band aid over the hole, and got me busy taking a sponge bath.
That's how Tony and Seth saw me when they arrived – taking a bed bath, stark naked. Whatever, they'd seen me naked more than once, so it was no big deal.
A physical therapist arrived at about 10am and showed me how to use crutches. They wanted me to use them for a week or two, or until I was comfortable, whichever came first.
Other than some pulling and stretching of the incision, I was comfortable. The deep bone pain was gone, like it had never existed. The physical therapist returned later in the afternoon, observed me walking the hallways like nobody's business. The only time I experienced any real discomfort was when I had to reach to the floor. She said that would be present for a couple of months, and that I'd learn "work around" approaches real quickly.
When Seth and Tony returned from going out to eat dinner, Tony announced that we were taking off for a one week vacation "down south". When Seth and I asked… no, when we, demanded (heh heh heh) where we were going, all Tony would say is that we were going to have a total and complete blast, that was that, no more discussion, period. Not that Tony was mean or anything, he just clammed up and gave a little wicked smile that, in any language, meant that he wasn't saying anything more about the subject.
"Are we going to fly somewhere?" Seth asked, trying to gain more information from his father, the culprit who was keeping us in suspense.
"Mum's the word." Tony replied wistfully.
Seth, thinking of me, said, "James can't do a whole lot of walking… Dad…"
Tony chuckled, "Mum's the word."
"That's no fair, Dad."
"Oh yes it is. Just wait until you get to be an adult. You will see how much fun it is to mess with a kid."
"Dadddddddddddddd!" Seth moaned in defeat.
Apparently, they'd had that same argument before, and whatever had come from it, closed Seth's lips. He looked at me, winked, said, "Dad usually wins that argument… but I'll win the war."
I laughed out loud, "Fat chance! The 'rents always win!"
"That's right, and don't you forget it…" Tony quipped, smiling his best parental 'win' smile.
Imploringly, Seth looked to me to continue the fact finding mission… from out of the blue I said, "St. Louis? I've always wanted to go see the Arch…"
"So, Seth has you doing his dirty work, does he? Ha ha, mum's still the word."
With that said, Seth, doing a little 'poor me' imitation walked into the bathroom and closed the door.
Tony said, "You'll be fine. This is a little game that my son and I play… sometimes it goes on for hours." The smile on his face said that he won the game, all the time.
I played the trump card: "Is Adam coming with us?"
Tony quickly looked at me, deep into my eyes… his face was still pretty fuzzy, yet, the glare came shining through like a laser light. Then he softened, and replied, "Mum's the word." Then he smiled, "Mum's the word. No more questions. It's going to be a surprise."
"Okay. Tony, I don't deserve this, you know."
Tony quickly swiveled in his seat to face me, "Yes you do deserve it. You deserve to be happy and care free. You'll be an adult before you know it. I like being an adult today, but, I also needed to be a kid. I get to be a kid when Seth and I banter back and forth… it keeps me young, and in touch. James, understand me, please: not all parents are like the ones who birthed you. Relax, nobody's going to treat you like that again. If they do, then they have me, and to an extent, Adam, to answer to."
Tears immediately began freely flowing from my eyes, as the ramifications of what he'd just said set into the core of my being. I had never really realized that anybody actually gave a flying flipping fuck about anything I had to say or do.
Tony got up from his chair, walked to me, pulled me up, and then wrapped his arms around my shoulders and held on tightly. After a couple of minutes of just being still, he said, "James, everything is going to be okay, trust me. I know that you have a big lot of trouble about trust, so I'll just give you my word. My word is good. Sometimes all a man has is his 'good word'. Okay? Do we have that understood?"
I nodded then put my arms around his torso, squeezed, and didn't let go… until Seth flushed the toilet, at which time I sat on the bed, and waited for him.
Despite having gone to bed late the previous night, I was up early, had my shower taken, my teeth were brushed and flossed, my hair was combed neatly, and I was dressed.
Why was that?
Monday was my discharge day. No more hospitals. I was free to go. The doctors wanted to see me back in a month. Dr. D. seemed to be 'in on the surprise' because he said, very nonchalantly, "Your stitches can be removed in any clinic… I'll see you back here in a month so we can take x-rays. Have a good time. Enjoy yourself. You can do anything within your comfort level. Now, have fun while I go take care of sick kids. James, be a kid. It's okay. Just have fun."
"Okay, I will. I'm excited, even though I don't know where we're going…" I replied seriously.
He replied, "Stay excited. Even when you get there, be excited. You will have memories of this trip for the rest of your life, most likely."
"I don't suppose you'll tell me where we're going, right?" I said, hopefully putting on my best "puppy dog" eyes.
He smiled, "Mum's the word. Have fun."
With that, he was gone, to take care of some sick kids.
Tony and Seth arrived at about 8am. My ophthalmologist arrived right at 10am. He was carrying a package. After sharing greetings, he smiled as he pulled out a pair of goggles, and then said, "James, your eyes are coming along just fine. Your vision should be completely clear in a few days. I want to see you back in 10 days so that we can do a refraction examination. The refraction examination will tell us how strong we need to correct your vision. These goggles… I want you to wear them all of the time when you're around dust, and other particles of dirt and 'stuff'. They will permit your eyes to 'breathe' however they will also protect your eyes from foreign 'stuff'."
I smiled. There was my chance to inquire, once again, "Like what kind of 'stuff' are you talking about?"
Tony smiled, as did Dr. Harbinger. Tony answered, "Stuff… just stuff. Ask the good doctor any questions that you have because we have people to see and places to go."
Seth rolled his eyes. That told me that he had had no more luck finding out where we were going than he had had before. Okay. The surprise is on. Whatever. Everybody says to have fun… so fun it was.
After a stop in the hospital pharmacy to fill prescriptions for antibiotics and pain pills, the latter of which I did not need, we were taken to the shuttle parking lot. The motor home was huge… I hadn't realized it had been that big before. Tony said it was a 32 foot travel home, and despite its 6 miles per gallon fuel rating, it was the most fuel efficient model available. With gas being near $4.00 a gallon… there I went again, trying to figure out what it would cost to run that thing for X number of miles… impossible since I didn't even know where we were going, and "Mum's the word" was still in force and effect. What's a guy to do?
Roll with the flow. That's what.
Tony wanted to top the coach off with diesel fuel but there wasn't anywhere in the city part of town where a vehicle that size could easily fit, so we took off. He took I-70 east and then turned on 71 south. There was a Flying-J just outside the suburbs. We stopped, fueled up, ate an early lunch, took a shit, and then headed out for parts unknown.
When we got to Nevada, Missouri, we headed west on 54. That was the same highway that went into Wichita… I found that strange, but since I was rolling with the flow I didn't say anything, until we got into Wichita, and turned off on the road that led to Adam's, and then pulled into his driveway, and then parked the humongous machine. Tony turned around, gave me the eye, and within 2 seconds I was out of the vehicle running to the front door. Seth was in hot pursuit. I was too excited to do anything, so it was Seth who ventured out and rang the door bell.
Just then we heard the garage door open, and out came Adam. He was wearing Bermuda shorts, a Hawaiian button up shirt, and clogs for shoes. Of course, he had his hot-shot sunglasses on, you know the ones that wrap around the head. As fast as I could go, I took off and then jumped into his arms running at a full gallop. He caught me, no problem, and then nearly squeezed the life out of my body, but I loved it, all the same. (Truth be known, I didn't actually 'jump' or 'gallop' – I just wanted to! Mind over matter!)
Seth, much more subdued, approached Adam. Happily, as if he did that every day, asked, "Are you going with us?"
Adam put me down, patted my back, "I wouldn't miss this for anything. Yup. That is – if you'll have me."
If we'll have him? What the fuck! Hell yeah. In spades!
Between Adam and Tony, they loaded up the coach for bear. I mean there were bags and bags, and even a box full of food, kitchen supplies, pots, pans, camping gear, you name it, to load up. Sheesh. Seth gave them a helping hand but I was told, in no uncertain words, to simply watch and supervise… I'd just had major surgery… yet, I'd felt fine, better than fine, actually. Okay, I'm a kid. Obey, right? Right.
By 5pm we were loaded up and ready to go.
Once the boxes in the garage had been either moved around or loaded… it was then that I saw my bicycle, the one that Adam had purchased for me. I looked at Adam. Seth and Tony stopped what they were doing. Adam said, "James, you received special permission, thanks to Tony, to leave the state of Kansas. If you want to stay here until we get you a real family then you are more than welcome… I'd like to have you, but only if you want to be here."
My heart soared, yet my stomach flopped into my pelvis… I said, "But… what about… you know… what you talked about… you know… before… a few… days ago?"
Adam looked to Tony. Tony said, "All the evidence was purely circumstantial. With your statement and the lack of credible evidence, Adam's been completely cleared of all charges, including kidnapping. Adam is right… you are officially a ward of the state, and yes, we did have to get special permission for this trip. I say go for it."
"Go for it? Fuck yeah, I'll go for it!" I screamed happily. Oh my God. It was all too much to take, yet it wasn't too much to take, all at the same time.
I tried to jump, but, that hurt like a motherfucker, so I sat down on the steps leading into the coach. I couldn't help it… I broke down and began sobbing hysterically, not from sadness, but from total and complete 'okayness'. Who would have ever thought in a million years that someone would have wanted 'me'? But there it was. They wanted me. As I thought about that, more and more, the harder I broke down. I'd never felt that way before, ever. I was kind of afraid, too. What if they found out what I was Really Like? You know … a fuck up … a worthless piece of shit … an accident … it all came flooding out … bittersweet.
Adam, who had sat down beside me, picked me up and carried me into the house, and, together we sat on the sofa in the Great Room. I could not stop crying, and could not answer his question, "What's wrong, James? It's okay. This is real. Oh, James, you've been hurt so bad in your short lifetime, I'm so sorry."
I'd stop crying, then it would start all over again. I had no idea where those tears were coming from… they were just coming up from somewhere deep, deep down inside. As much as I tried to stop… it seemed the harder I tried to stop … the more the tears came and ran down my shirt, drenching it.
He pulled me onto his lap, wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulled me into his chest, and simply let me experience the emotional upheaval, until it passed some time later. I'd lost all track of time. I was simply experiencing feelings that I'd never before experienced. I'd felt safe, finally. In all my years… I'd never felt that safe before, ever. And, I never wanted that feeling to go away, ever.
When I'd regained a modicum of composure I looked deeply into his eyes, looking for something that would tell me that it was all a ruse, that I'd wake up and it would all be over, or would have never happened in the first place.
But it didn't happen. All I saw in his eyes was love, understanding, composure, and a willingness to let me come to my own conclusion.
With all the angst, and heavy duty crying, I needed to use the bathroom, like really, really bad. Both ways. Reluctantly, I released his arms, stood up, and then went back down because another wave of tears overtook me completely. "I've got to use the bathroom, bad, Adam."
"It'll cost you… what was it? $15.00 including the taxi ride? Inflation, you know…"
The tears immediately turned to wild laughter as I recalled our first meeting, my first trip to his house, when he carried me nearly everywhere. I was squeezing my butt cheeks to keep from losing it, "$20.00 bucks for the express lane!"
Without further adieu, he did, indeed, carry my ass into the bathroom then once there he turned and left the room as I exploded the sewer system with methane gas and other nasty solid materials. How can one person, especially a kid, have that much shit (pun intended) built up… my mother had something going on when she'd told me I was full of shit! I had to laugh at the irony of that statement.
When the last one fell, I wiped up, flushed, washed my hands and face, opened the door, and Adam swooped me up in his arms and carried me to the garage where Tony and Seth were anxiously waiting our return.
Adam looked at his watch, then, seeing the time was 7:30pm, said, "Let's stay here tonight. We'll get an early start in the morning. I've got steaks in the freezer. The boys can go swimming… how about it?"
Everybody was agreeable. Seth offered that we could sleep in the coach. Adam and Tony would have no part of that… which was okay because Adam took us back into the house and showed us a huge bedroom that we could sleep in. The most impressive thing about the room, other than its size and huge balcony off the backside of it was the huge, kind size circle bed in the center of the room.
Seth looked at me. I looked at him. Four thumbs shot up.
Tony said, "Since this room meets with your approval, why don't you boys get comfortable… Seth, I forgot your swimsuit… you boys are welcome to clog up the filters with your underwear or you can just go natural… makes no difference… oh shit, your incision."
Adam spoke up, "I have some of that Dermaplast stuff… it is water impermeable. I'll be right back."
Tony spoke up, "James, if you'd like Seth to put that stuff on… so that Adam doesn't have to …"
"It's fine. Sheesh, he's seen me before, so have you guys… okay? Don't worry so much."
"Okay, I want you to be comfortable at all times… son, I had no idea that you had so much hurt inside… I should have known… I should have…"
"Stop it, Tony. Just stop it. I'm okay, now. Adam said I just needed to let it go… I didn't either… I didn't know…"
Seth said, "Dad, you know I went through the same thing… you were always there for me when I'd lose my shit… sorry… you know… my emotions." To me Seth said, "I'm glad Adam was there for you, like my dad was there for me. After I had that major meltdown, things got better… you know, inside here <Seth pointed at his heart>."
I nodded then hugged him deeply, like there was no tomorrow.
Adam returned a few minutes later. He said he called his doctor friend, the chiropractor, and said that the good doctor thought the chlorine water would be good therapy for my incision. Adam wanted to cover it up since he wasn't positive the water balance was 'just right'. Without inhibition or worry, I stripped naked then presented my hip so that the incision could be covered with that spray stuff. It was thick and gooey, but it dried really fast.
Once Seth was stripped naked, he took off for our private bathroom. From the sounds emanating from the doorway, what he was doing was obvious. I joined him and I peed in the shower, much to his amusement.
The pool water was freezing cold, despite the heat and humidity of the day. After trying and failing to get in the 'slow' way, Seth took a flying leap and ended up doing a belly flop. I wasn't sure about doing that same thing so I just walked into the water and froze my nuts… seriously, they were wrapped around my neck!
The swim was short and sweet. Both our teeth were chattering like crazy, and I would swear that Seth's skin had a blue tinge to it. He helped me out of the water, and then we took off into the house, dripping all the way, and got into our shower to warm up.
Adam and Tony made up 12 inch kabobs, complete with stew meat, green peppers, onions, mushrooms, zucchini slices, and several herbs and spices to give it delectable tastes. Perfect.
Later that night, at around 9pm, we were shooed off to bed because we'd be getting up really early the following morning.
We gave our good nights to both Adam and Tony then headed off to 'our' room. Seth used the can again while I got into bed. Funny thing – there was a tube of personal lubricant under my pillow. It was brand new. I got serious ideas about where I would like for that lubrication to be…
I popped the top, squeezed out an ample supply into my fingers, and was just about ready to put it to my butthole when Seth entered the bedroom. Immediately, he jumped into bed, took my hand and insisted that I lube up his hole. I'd pretty much always been a bottom for him because I really liked how he took care of me in that regard. I'd only been on top once, and found it less than ideal simply because my penis wasn't really long enough to penetrate him all that much.
He had different ideas.
Seth said, softly, "James, I want you inside of me. Don't worry so much… we'll make it work."
With that said, I inserted first one, then two then three fingers into his most private place. He was immediately relaxed. He then guided me so that my face was on his chest. He lifted his legs up high and urged me down to where my dick was perfectly lined up to his hole.
Nature took over. He simply raised his legs up high and tight to his body which permitted me full access, the full length of my penis, to his nether regions. Within mere minutes I was unloading the tiny bit of nectar that I could produce, at that time, into his most private of places, much to our delight.
I wasn't finished though … the itch was killer. In the same fashion, Seth gave to me his offering… in spades. When he was recovered he began pulling his rod out, but I urged him to stay in there because he felt so damned good. With me lying on my stomach with a pillow under my front side… the position was just perfect for maximal penetration. I also knew that he would recover relatively quickly, which meant I would get a double dose of his protein rich milkshake. Seriously, I was game for an all night fuck… I don't know what else to say about how much I wanted him inside of me, so that we were one.
After he'd ejaculated three loads into my cavern, he did remove his penis, and then lay on his back for me to give him what he also needed. Once I creamed his insides, he lowered his legs, and that is how we fell asleep, and I mean into a deep, deep, restful, sleep. At one point, since he is strong and much bigger than I, he rolled us over onto our sides, face to face, and then sleep, once again, took us over.
There is a reason why you use the bathroom soon after male-male sex.
As we found out.
The hard way.
Although neither Adam nor Tony were gay, hell I didn't even know if I was gay or not… I mean I liked penis in my butt, they told us about safe sex and sex without 'accidents'. They weren't condescending, shaming, or blaming… their conversation was simply factual.
Needless to say, because the sheets needed laundering, our departure to Unknown ran about 2 hours later than they'd planned. We simply had breakfast at Adam's place, and left the house at about 6:30am.
We arrived at Tony's lake house in a few hours, at which time we loaded up Adam's boat, then took off and headed up to the Will Rogers turnpike, heading west into Oklahoma City, then south on I-35.
We stopped for fuel at a truck stop on the north side of Denton, Texas. The thermometer on the restaurant read 108 (F). It was hotter than hell. Fueling up that large rig seemed to take forever and a day, so Seth and I took off for the restaurant, ordered burgers, fries and drinks for everyone then took them back to the coach. Tony pulled the rig off to a side so we could eat without being on the road.
They still would not tell us where we were going, no matter how hard we tried and bribed. All we knew, all we'd been told was that we were headed south. But how far south? Seth got on his phone, pulled up a map, and tried to trace down where "south" meant… but Adam caught on really quick. Much to Seth's chagrin, and mine, too, Adam took Seth's phone away and put it in the front console.
Seth was deeply thinking, and then his eyes lit up. He asked, "Are we going to the Alamo?"
Tony giggled from the driver's seat and said, "Mum's the word. Give it up, boys. The next stop will be our destination… since it will be dark, the suspense will continue until tomorrow morning at sunup."
After a few mumbles and grumbles, we settled back in to our seats at the table, took out the laptop Seth had been given for his birthday, and played video games. The rig did not have a satellite internet connection, that we knew of, so we couldn't chart our progress… although, just after dark, we saw signs along the way that led us to believe we were in Austin. As predicted, we didn't stop. We kept going, and soon signs indicating we were in San Antonio were present. Traffic was a motherfucker, and Tony was letting us, everybody, know that he considered the big rig in city traffic, you guessed it – a motherfucker. But he did fine – with no major calamity, other than a significant lane change to the right as we got onto another highway, you guessed it… going south. I was looking out the window as we went south… I saw a highway sign that read I-37, then another sign that said Corpus Christi, 67 miles.
Now, I'm not a geography expert in any sense of the word, but I knew that we would run into the ocean if we didn't turn and take a different road… west, east or north.
I said to Seth, "We're going to Corpus Christi… I just know it. What the fuck is there, anyway?"
Seth grinned, "Ocean. Waves. Sand. Get your fucking goggles out, dude. Dad, we're going to Corpus Christi!"
"Nope. Try, try again." Tony said then giggled, at our expense."
The suspense was getting to be too much. Was he going to drive off the continent? I mean, hell, the Gulf of Mexico, is huge…
An hour later we started smelling crude oil. The smell and taste on the tongue was pretty nasty… but it was relatively short lived. And then we made a wide left turn going at highway speeds, but soon the road straightened out. We started passing a bunch of motels on either side of the road, and then the speed limit dropped to 55, not that we were going much faster than that anyway. You don't drive those large rigs too fast, do you?
Looking out the windows all we saw was Corpus Christi this and Corpus Christi that. The road we were on was named SPID. What the fuck is SPID? Then we saw signs saying Padre Island.
I remembered reading about Padre Island. History class. Hurricane, 1971, Camille, devastating.
"Hey Adam, is it Hurricane season?" I asked inquisitively.
"No, not this time of year." Adam said chuckling.
"We're going to run out of road… aren't we?"
"Maybe." Tony replied knowingly.
Asshole… but I didn't say anything, in fact, I snickered.
Then we got on a huge long bridge… the fucker was long… it went up and then it descended. And it was dark. When we got to a stop light, out in the middle of nowhere, there was a tourist shop on the right side of the road.
I looked to Seth, "This is getting interesting. Hey Adam."
"Is this thing self sufficient?"
Tony chuckled. Before he could answer I quipped, "Mum's the word, right?"
"Yup. It took you one thousand miles to figure it out? You're bright!" Then he and Adam chuckled loudly.
I sat back into my seat when he took off from the stop light. Humph.
Once we got away from the stoplight, it got pitch black outside, and inside. You could not see your hand in front of your face, the only illumination were the little gauges on the dashboard of the rig. Tony had slowed down considerably, though, traveling only a few miles an hour. Then he turned off the paved road, into something soft, very soft. But the rig didn't struggle… we were just going really slow.
Tony asked Adam, "Do you want to go right or left… we need to decide…"
"It matters not to me, my friend… hell, let's go left… then we can go right… then we can go left again… then we could go backwards – anything to confuse our confused boys."
We turned right.
I thought it was pretty dumb.
Seth was grinning. At least the whites of his teeth were showing fully. Without even thinking, I leaned across the table and kissed his lips, seriously. Just as quickly, I retreated. He grabbed my neck and pulled me forward… he'd been sucking on a cinnamon jaw breaker… yummy, yummy, yummy! I searched for, found, and then sucked on his tongue wanting every bit of that flavor, and him, too.
Just then the vehicle made an acute right angle turn, and then stopped, at which time Tony shut the engines down thus parking it.
Adam opened his passenger door. Immediately, a cool, clean salt water smell permeated the entire rig, from front to back. Just as quickly, he opened the passenger side door of the coach, leaned in and said to me, "James, put on your protective goggles, and then you boys get out and check it out."
Seth looked at me. The smells and sounds were new to the both of us; neither of us had ever experienced anything like that before. Quickly, I went back into our bedroom, got into the sack of clothes, retrieved the goggles and put them on. Seth was already out of the vehicle by the time I was ready.
You couldn't see a damn thing, but you could sure feel the breeze blowing, it was almost chilly. I felt Seth's arm circle my back, and his hand trail down to squeeze my butt cheeks. I shivered, involuntarily – I couldn't tell if it was his hand and where it was, or the chilly air, or both. There was absolutely no light, anywhere. Oh you could look off in one direction and see the faint glow of city lights, but they were so faint that they were almost unnoticeable. You still couldn't see anything.
But… you could hear the slight sound of water, very close by.
Tony took heart, he opened the rigs' door which caused the interior lights to illuminate, casting tendrils of light out onto the outside. At that time, I could see that we were, indeed, very close to that water lapping the -sand-.
Amazed, I said to Seth, "That's the fucking ocean, dude. We're on the ocean!"
Ha ha ha, Seth's hands were roaming my butt… they would wander a bit then stop and he'd squeeze a cheek or he'd stick his finger into my crack… two could play that game… I slid my hand down inside his jeans and underwear, and then my fingers found his pucker, which I played with insistently.
Just then a very bright light illuminated quite an expanse of real estate in front of us. Clearly, the ocean came into view, and clearly, our hands left their nesting places, amongst giggles – from us and from the adults.
Adam said laughing, "Busted. Uhm, okay, we're on Mustang Island. And yes, James, the rig is fully self-contained. We're going to stay here for several days, just the 4 of us. You boys need the break, and so do we. Tomorrow, after the surf goes down we'll take the boat out a few miles, or maybe we won't… we're on no time table. So, whatever floats our boat is what goes. You boys will be pleased to know that this is the naturist side of the island… so… we didn't forget the swimsuits."
"James, son, you have to wear the goggles at all times, even inside the coach until you take your showers. We can't take any chance of sand getting into your eyes. This is the only rule to abide by, within reason, I'm sure you understand."
"Yes sir. No problem."
Seth asked, "Dad, can we go for a swim, now?"
"Yes, that's fine. Just don't go out any further than this light shines. I want to be able to see both of you at all times. We don't want you guys getting lost."
With that said, and agreed to without question, we went into the coach, stripped to the skin, then headed out into the water. The water was warm despite the cool breeze. And, we didn't push the envelope by going out too far. In fact, we stayed very close to shore. Mostly, we just sat in the water, and, at no time, did it go past our midsections.
I'd never peed in an ocean before. Just letting it go was pretty kewl. Okay, okay, I'd never been to an ocean before… be a little kid, right? There I was, 12 years old, peeing in the ocean, and liking the sensations! Whatever.
Soon, Adam and Tony joined us. As Tony sat in the sand, he took Seth into his arms. Adam did the same to me. I started crying again, just from the peace and tranquility of the water all around me. It was like it was cleansing my soul of everything bad that had ever happened in my life. I would surely remember that experience 50 years down the road of life. The experience was sort of a Redemption.
(James here. Yup, that was my liberating moment. I did not realize that I had so many emotions locked deep within myself, previously unseen and unknown until that trip.
I know this sounds lame, but I came to realize that, perhaps, that was my original birth place. You know, maybe even the place for the birth of my soul, if you believe in that stuff. I didn't really look into those thoughts, those feelings I had until I came to live with my now mom and dad, and family. I found a really kewl website that puts credence to my experience… some call it the Great Reality Within, some call it hocus pocus, and some of us just don't give a flying fuck what it's called. It's an experience, how can you really define a soul altering experience?
I hope I've described it right. I hope I have told you the magnitude of the experience. But, I'm not finished, just wait until tomorrow… you'll find out exactly why I'm bug-nuts about sun-ups.
To be continued
For those of you who don't know me yet, I just want to let you know that I am now editing for Joe Writer Man.
With each new story that I have the privilege to edit, I learn new information. These kids are very special. They all mean a great deal to me, even though I am only beginning to get to know them.
I am so glad that James is now being treated to the love and caring that he so richly deserves.
All kids deserve to be loved. They are the future of our world. We need to protect them and love them.
I am ready for more, any time.
Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher