They called us and I paid for our food as I waved Conner's hand away. He kept looking at me on the way home and when he closed the door he grabbed me and kissed me gently, I dropped the food and took him in my arms kissing him back with a small bit of urgency.
We ate and showered then went to bed. Conner was ready for it but I wanted to make love to him so I licked, kissed every crevice, every curve, every muscle and he was almost screaming by the time I blew him. I knew he wanted to fuck me but I wasn't in the mood after his pounding earlier on, it really did nothing for me. Some guys love it; some put up with it and some just never go there. I'm in the middle, I really wanted to make love to Conner in the best way but I wouldn't push it.
We laid there for ages breathing in our scents then he rolled into me and said,
"It's okay Conner, go to sleep."
I felt some wetness on my chest, it was from his tears, he was crying so I pulled him to me and kept kissing his head telling him everything was all right, I just wasn't in the mood to be made love to that's all, I needed a rest.
He nodded like he understood then went off to sleep.
I had showered and prepared breakfast while he slept in and I had to be at Tullarmarine by ten, it would only be a six-hour shift but at the moment I just wanted to be with Conner and talk a bit.
I looked at my messages from Helen,the galley had been stocked and there would be four passengers going to the Gold Coast today, they were members of Conner's Melbourne band.
I asked Conner about the band and he said they were all good guys and he thought they were going to the Gold Coast to let off some steam. He would be in the studio all day and said if I needed him to just send a message and he would get back as soon as possible. We ate in silence, there was an elephant in the room and I didn't like it one bit.
"Do you want to talk baby?"
"Nah, not really Brent, there's not much to say, I understand."
I didn't push it because I don't want this to be a big deal in our lives, making love is important but it's not the only reason I loved this man, I put my cheek in my hand and ate one handed in silence.
I got the feeling Conner was brooding.
Saying goodbye was tender but a bit rushed and I thought Conner wanted to get rid of me as soon as possible.
I sat in the car for ages trying to think about what just happened but I really don't want it to be a big drama so I resigned to give it up for Conner whenever he needed it.I loved him, fuck it, I want him to be happy.
The boys were rowdy and drank heaps as I passed around loads of sandwiches and potato chips trying to get food into their stomachs. They told jokes that almost had me blushing but they were a wonderful group of guys, they idolised Conner and said they liked me.
I got phone numbers and tips and they all hugged me as they left the plane.
That night Conner went to bed early and I went later, he was still awake so I sighed then rolled over onto my stomach, lifted my ass and spread my legs, he fucked me. I felt like a fucking whore, I moaned and I prayed he would hurry up, I didn't cum when he finished, I felt used not randy and I heard him say,
"Everything okay babe?"
"It's okay Rick, you can pay me in the morning."
I was so angry.
"What are you talking about Brent? I love you, talk to me."
I ignored him and he left it at that, I went to sleep.
Leaving the next morning early I headed for the airport, my passenger today was Pat, Diana's mother and she was going to Darwin.
I greeted a short, tubby woman with a round face and dressed to the nines in some label, but I did recognise the Jimmy Choo shoes, she was nothing like Di but rather the complete opposite. After handing me her jacket and handbag, she proceeded to dust her seat with a handkerchief; she then sat and started to flip through a glossy magazine. I offered her drinks but she waved her hand dismissively.
"That would be a no thank you, I take it," I said to myself. I really wasn't in a good mood and if this keeps up, I am going to feed her down the toilet, one bit at a time.
The flight was boring so I spent a lot of time in the cockpit with the boys.
The bell rang and she said,
"I'll have my lunch now,"quite indignantly.
"Sure sweetheart, coming up,"I said.
"Before you do, can we talk?"she looked down her nose.
I sat opposite her, my elbows on my knees and said,
"What would you like to talk about Pat?"
"Do you want to earn some extra money?"
"I'm pretty happy with this job Pat, I don't feel the need to change jobs, but thank you."
"You don't have to, just turn a blind eye and I will pay you five hundred dollars a flight."
"And just what am I turning a blind eye to?"
"Nothing illegal Brent, it's just that I deal in beauty products I bring in from Indonesia. Steven used to help me by collecting my orders and bringing them down to Melbourne for me but now I'm limited to how much I buy because he's not on board anymore, so I'm asking you." She winked, so out of character.
"I'll get your lunch and I'm sorry but the answer's still no," I smiled.
I said no because she was a thorough bitch and there's no way this offer was legal.
Her biggest mistake was to offer me money so I would turn a blind eye. Cosmetics my arse, there is no way this deal was legal, she's been up to something and so had Steven, maybe her once a month trip was to pay the money. Steven would have flown there at least once a week, he probably was transporting it down and she would go and order more each month, without him her business is limited to what she can carry in her suitcase. This gave me food for thought.
I sat at the service kitchen and seethed, why the fuck is Conner doing this to me? No, I'm letting him, it's my fault. Why is it such a big deal? Because I love him and I want to be loved not used. Talk to me Conner, please talk.
I served the meal and nothing more was said, in fact,by the time we prepared for landing, I could have quite happily given her my boot up her bum.
Anyway, we landed without incident, I said goodbye to Pat and she actually said she would see me next Thursday.
Back in Melbourne, I decided to talk to Conner but he had other ideas. A candle lit supper was laid out when I got in, it was only five o' clock but it was welcome, so were his kisses and his arms, he whispered he was sorry and I did the same.
We ate and I talked about meeting Pat but I didn't tell him what I suspected, I had no proof and no witnesses, hopefully she won't involve the company again.
He made love to me that night and the next and the next, I felt like a well-used bathroom by the following Thursday. Conner was spending all his spare time in the studio so I potted around the house and did some shopping.
Thursday arrived and I settled into the flight, it was smooth and uneventful once again. I have to put a stop to Conner's need to fuck me at any chance, as if he can't settle down, I will go insane. After we landed something went wrong with the port jet, it was vibrating noisily and Phil made a phone call as Dave shut it down.
"Just blew a gasket Brent," he laughed.
"Unfortunately we have to get it checked out so it's a hotel for the night mate, Helen is on to it now," he smiled.
I was disappointed but the Mantra Hotel was stunning and I was all eyes when I arrived to check in, it had a fabulous view of the water and a pool to die for.
I was shown to my room and tipped the bellboy. I only had my jump bag but decided while this was on the company, I would go down for dinner so I dressed in my black uniform pants and nice polo Conner had bought me, I ordered a great meal but felt lonely.
I called Conner and he was just as lonely but we managed to cheer each other up, I told him I was going to max out the credit card on dinner and he laughed.
When we disconnected the call I felt empty.
Passing through the lobby I spotted Pat as she was talking to a dark skinned man on one of the sofas. I stood behind a palm tree and watched as she handed over an envelope and he gave her a,'David Jones,' carry bag.
They parted and she headed for the lift but I caught upwith her just in time.
She looked at me like I had caught her trying to rob a candy store. We exchanged pleasantries and talked about the plane being ready for the morning, I couldn't help myself, I look back now and want to vomit but said in parting,
"If you try to take those drugs onboard in the morning I will have the police on your butt so quick you won't have time to spit," I grinned.
"I don't know what you are talking about," she answered.
Her face took on a sour look as she left.
Later, I was paged to the lobby but I didn't get there because as I closed my room door everything went black.
It took me awhile to adjust to my surroundings, being blindfolded for the most part I didn't have a clue where I was only that I was in a foreign country somewhere north of Darwin. It could be anywhere, the flight was only short,perhaps one hour so it could be one of the hundreds of islands in the Torres Strait.I took my blindfold off and blinked, there was no light and it was hot and steamy in the small room. I was sitting on a bunk;there was a stinking,blocked squat toilet and a washbasin. All the comforts of home in a three metre by four metre room with a small window with bars on it, some stars twinkled outside.
Being totally exhausted I pulled my legs up and wept into the filthy pillow, I wondered how many people had done the same thing in the past.I slept on and off with recent events being played over and over in my head. Pat and Steven had something to do with this, I know they were using Conner's plane to run drugs that were coming in from the islands. I had seen her exchanging money for a package and pulled her up on it, but why kidnap me? Maybe she got scared I would blow their little scheme out of the water. I realised now that's why she encouraged Marty and Diana's relationship, it was so she had access to a private plane to transport her packages from Darwin to Melbourne. But how did they get it into the country? I suppose the corruption I have heard of is well and alive in the islands and there must be a bigger fish conducting this.
It was early in the morning when it happened; I was pulled from my slumber by the jingling of some keys. Some light streamed into my cell from the outer room and two men barged in and pulled me up from the bed. I began to protest but they were silent, one pulled his arm back and the other punched me in the face, not once but at least four times, one after the other while I was caught unaware of what was going on. I didn't feel the first three, my face went numb but I felt the next ones and screamed in pain, I had never been hit before and didn't know how to react only to try and protect my face with my arms. The other guy had ripped my clothes off and I stood naked, dripping blood and in shock, he finally stopped, lowered his shorts and pushed me face down on the bed then proceeded to abuse me. I felt the agony of my anus being invaded, the one holding me down was laughing and talking in a foreign language. They left laughing while I was curled up in a ball weeping for my Conner and whispering,
"I'll be good Conner, please take me home, I'll be good." My face hurt like hell, two broken teeth and I suspect a broken nose by the way it was bleeding. Finally, I got up and splashed filthy water on it, thank god it had started to dry up, I could hardly see as my eyes swelled, my arse hurt like hell and my arms and legs were just not in sync.
Back on the bed I heard someone come in and say,
"That will teach you to keep your nose out of my business," it was Patricia.
"How could you do this to another human being, what kind of animal are you?" I mumbled out.
"The kind that gets her way Brent, you will never get out of this cell so make the best of it. You have fucked up my little business, got Steven the sack in the process and I can't trade without his help, oh, and my dealer wants to meet you so try and pull yourself together before he fucking kills you."
She left locking the thick door behind her.
I was racked with pain and I screamed, I screamed loud and long in between my sobs.
The sun shone into my room, I was hot and had a fever and I had no idea how long I had been in here. The only thing I had to go by were the stars and the food bowl that was pushed under my door once a day, only a little rice but I ate it, I had to if I wanted to survive.
My mind was blank; my face was a messy glob of pummelled bone and skin, I didn't care.
The abuse was the worst, every three or four days those same two men came in and repeated the scene, still hurting and still being abused but I didn't feel a thing and I didn't fight back, I had given up.
I spent my nights chasing bed bugs and my days curled up crying, terrified to the core.
One day they barged in and I started screaming, I screamed and held my head trying to protect what was left of my face but I was brutally thrust out into the hallway, hitting the brick wall opposite my cell then pushed under a cold shower. I stank of dried blood and shit, my hands were red raw and I could barely hold the ancient cake of soap they had left for me. Scraping the filth from my body my eyes were nearly completely closed, I was then taken to another room and seated at a table.
My two abusers smiling at me as I tried to ask for some water.
A glass bottle was shoved onto the table, half empty I tried to hold it but my hands shook too much, it dropped to the floor where it shattered into pieces.
Patricia and Steven came in and as she was talking to the two guys in some language I still didn't recognize, Steven sneered at me saying,
"Big mistake, huge," he cackled loudly, in that campy style I fucking loathed.
I had absolutely nothing else to lose so I leant down and picked up a large sliver of broken bottle then lunged at him screaming at the top of my voice, I dug fast and deep from his forehead down to his chin, gouging his right eye into a mashed pulp. My hand bled from the tight grip I had on it, I was amazed I could even hold it. I screamed at him, "Bigger mistake you cunt and if you come near me you fat low life bitch, you will get the fucking same."
She moved over to the opposite wall, not even hearing Steven's cries for help.
The other guys tried to punch me so I protected my face, they didn't care which part of my body they hit, Steven screamed in agony, I fell to the floor but as I did I slashed at him again catching his upper leg, he went down like a sack of shit, I wasn't feeling a thing, I had wiped that smirk off his face permanently. I blacked out from the beating and the sudden loss of more blood I was experiencing.
Returning to my idea of reality, I don't know when but Steven's screams had stopped and I could hear whimpering as he was trying to stem the bleeding with his shirt. I eyeballed Pat as best I could, my hand open and closing as I tried to plan my next move. She was my target and she knew it.The door banged open and a huge Asian man came into the room with three armed guards and all had balaclavas on to hide their identities. He shouted at my two jailers, they bowed and a chair was produced. He noticed Steven whimpering in the corner, said something to his henchman, who then pulled a pistol out and shot Steven in the head. I didn't flinch, I was waiting my turn, emptiness was all I felt, I looked at Pat and mumbled,"Big mistake you fucking fat bitch."
Her face went dead white, I sneered.Somewhere in the back of my mind I figured she had made a huge blunder by bringing me here, her stupidity had put the suppliers at risk. I prayed to God, take me, please take me home, I kept repeating, I said my goodbyes to Conner and tried to remember the Lords Prayer, all the time hearing Patricia's screams, she was terrified and I started laughing at her. It hurt like crazy, I was smiling at her when the guard lifted his pistol and shot her in the head, point blank. I laughed again, it was empty and hollow and I really didn't know I was doing it, I thought it was someone else. My grim reaper sat opposite me and said,
"Can you stand young man?"
I stood and bowed my head in submission, my hand dripping blood but my mind in a good place, peace will soon claim me, my God will take me home. I whispered,
"I'm sorry Conner, I love you. Dear Lord please take me home." Then everything went blank.
I awoke some time later sitting down with my head lying on the table and the room stank of death. Steven's head was a mess of brains splattered onto the wall; the flies had started attacking it. Pat's body was slumped over him, hiding her fat face from me. I knew she was dead; her expensive high heels were covered in dirt and blood. My right hand was tightly covered in a white scarf and the bleeding had stopped.
I was alone and it took me an hour of deadly silence to even make the first move, one foot at a time towards the door, I stumbled my way out towards what I thought was the front of the building. Making my way down hallways I couldn't remember, stopping only once to take a drink from a water bucket, maybe it was a piss bucket but I didn't care, it tasted like cool, clean water.I tipped it over my body.
My hand matched my steps as I steadied myself against the walls. I saw light up ahead and my eyes hurt, as it became sunshine. I was alone as I squinted and tried to hold my arm up to shade my face but it felt like a lead weight and flopped back beside my naked body. I saw a jeep and a water tank and I also saw two bodies hanging from a large tree, I didn't have to guess who they were, I knew instinctively. Not looking at them again, I limped to the small water trough.
The tank provided me with cool water again, I thought about climbing the ladder and plunging into its depths but the idea of getting out again didn't seem to appeal to me. I looked into the jeep for keys and luckily they were in the ignition. I had no idea where I was or which way to go to get help but I knew I was near death, there had been too much blood pouring out of my hands and nose. Starting the car I decided just to follow the road as far as I could, to get away from this filth.
It's been over four weeks since I saw Brent's beautiful face, he had simply disappeared and I had every security company possible out looking for him. He never boarded another domestic flight and he never checked out of his hotel. He just vanished; I was at my wit's end and was turning up nothing with every corner.I was frantic thinking he had simply left me, I had treated him so badly the last week, I was mad at him as he didn't need to know about my childhood, it was past history and I just didn't want to talk about it. My aunty Beth had me under the best psyches in the country; she had put as much love into my life that I could handle and more. I have never been a catcher, I thought Brent liked it and wanted to please him, I can take it or leave it. Just holding him was enough. I never looked back into my past as it was over, gone, buried but with Brent's training, all he would feel is sad for me and probably a lot of sympathy, which is not what I wanted, he kept on and on.
But I did do the wrong thing, I didn't tell him and I should have, I should have fucking told him. It had nothing to do with my hesitation to be a catcher but it had everything to do with our trust in each other, I should have trusted him to love me, to believe in me. Yes, I admit I still had problems but nothing like I had when I was small. Being with Brent took away many nightmares and for that alone I will forever be grateful. I can't find him and I'm going insane with grief. Father Thomas comes every day and he prays with me, talks with me and comforts me. It does little to calm me but it gives me something real to do. The pills make me sleep and I slept a lot. My European concerts were put on hold with me being an absolute cot case. Marty had to move in with me, fearing I would do something to myself in my own personal hell.The television in my bedroom was on but no volume, I had just finished another bout of sobbing into my pillow when I saw Brent's photo pop up on the screen. I grabbed for the remote and turned it up. Just looking at his photo, I started to weep again.
"The Australian military peace keeping forces stationed in Port Moresby have today made contact with missing flight attendant Brenton Walsh who has been missing now for over four weeks. He is being treated at the Port Moresby Army Base hospital where he's been stabilized before being airlifted to the Royal Darwin Hospital. There are no details of his injuries but eyewitnesses say he was found near death and slumped over the steering wheel of a jeep. One witnesses said he was covered in blood and cuts, he looked like he had been tortured and they thought he was dead. We will be back with updates as they come to hand," the announcer said as a picture of Brent in his uniform flashed up on the screen again.
I ran into the room where Diana and Marty sat watching in shock.
"Did you hear that?" I screamed.
"Yes Conner, he's been found, thank god," Marty said.
"Get the plane ready, we have to go to Port Moresby," I was yelling.
Marty got on the phone and said a few words then hung up.
"Phil and Dave are on the way."
He flipped his phone again and rang Jill to get onto anything she could, any information on Brent's condition she could gather.
He did the same with Adam.
We threw some clothes into a couple of backpacks and headed for the airport, I wept loudly and banged my head on the car seat in front of me.Diana was trying to calm me down but I didn't hear her, I was in my own world, my mental state was being held fast by steel bolts.
Marty's phone rang.
He listened to what Jill had to say then said in a quiet tone,
"Keep on it Jill, please don't relax until we know the whole story."
He hung up. He took Di's hand then said,
"Conner that was Jill, he's in a very bad state, his face has been smashed, he's been starved and beaten repeatedly and has some teeth missing, they are transferring him to Darwin Hospital in a couple of hours. It seems he got involved with a drug cartel, he possibly saw something he shouldn't have, he can't talk much and they are saying he's making no sense; he just wants to go home. The officials found four bodies in a house in the jungle where they suspect he was being held captive. I'm sorry to have to tell you this Diana, one of the bodies was Pat's." Diana gasped, then broke down, Marty hugged her closely.
"I'm sorry, there was no other way to tell you darling." Marty cried.I started punching the front seat of the limo, I punched it until my hand hurt then I went silent, tears dripping down my cheeks.
I was almost done by the time they got me settled into a flight seat. I looked around for Brent so I could sit with him but he didn't appear.
Hugging myself I just stared at the cockpit willing the plane to take off.
Dave came out and sat next to me, he took my hand and said,
"He's been found, he will recover and he will be back." It was all positive.
"We are delayed for an hour but managed a slot to Darwin, you want some coffee? I'm going to make one for us, anyone else want one?"
"Yes we will," said Diana as she got up to help.
It was best she was kept busy and she knew this. Although not close with her mum for obvious reasons, the woman was a controlling bitch, but she was still her mum.
I was loaded onto a medical plane and transported to the Royal Darwin hospital and surgery started almost immediately. They had called in two plastic surgeons to repair my nose and face but my teeth would have to wait until my broken jaw healed. I was able to write a few lines of what happened to me but my mind burst into shards of light and confusion before I had finished. Have I gone insane, have I died? I just wanted to go home.
Dear God have mercy upon me.