Never Give Up
We headed for the bedroom again and hugged and kissed lots, I gave him a tongue bath he will never forget. My mouth and teeth worked overtime, I had pubes on my tongue and down my throat I rimmed him till he screamed.
"No more Squirt!" I sucked him to orgasm six times; he was leaking pre-cum like crazy. I let him finally cum but I didn't suck him to orgasm, he had rolled me over and fingered my butt, I was in heaven. He came all up my back rubbing his finger in my ass. I just came loads humping the sheets, it was the best sex I've ever had so far. Dan just collapsed onto me. I loved his strength he completely covered me with his body and I strangled a sort of weak cry out and said,
"I fucking love you Daniel Lawrence, I fucking love you so bad it hurts, you're so fucking awesome."
The next day we both bought Speedos, we did model them for each other and it was on again. Fuck is this guy a fucking machine or what? I did work but the hours were short, I added on an hour each time so I could work with Greg on the quiet. He showed me some pretty good defence moves and I got quite good, quite quick. We also talked about his love life, it was even better now they had done each other. He just was in awe of his guy, so much in love; I gotta meet him one day.
Dan's folks arrived Friday, Rob and Anna. They were everything I thought they would be, caring, loving, country people. After we got them settled they came up to Dan's for a cuppa, and I had made a squillion sandwiches. Dan and Rob soon made a big dent in them. I looked at Anna and said.
"Where do they put it?"
"I don't know Squirt, beats me"
She was using my pet name the boys must have told her.
"My food bill is high as you would imagine" she said.
I immediately became her ally.
"What's in store for you Mrs L; when do you start chemo?"
"Well, I start tomorrow and I have to have six sessions, it's just to make sure my breast cancer is gone, nothing major"
I looked up and saw Rob looking lovingly at her.
I said "Okay Mrs L so that's it."
"Yes, then I can go home, sorry baby, it's not that I'm not grateful for everything you have done for us Squirt and Dan, but I will miss my own bed.
"I understand completely Mrs L." I replied.
"Are your folks nearby Cody?"
"No, my mum lives about thirty Kilometres away and my dad died about four years ago."
"Oh I'm sorry love, I shouldn't have been so nosey and I'm sorry for your loss."
"Yeah we were very close my dad and I, I miss him every day."
"Was he ill long?"
"Not long Mrs L."
She lifted her eyebrows and I looked at Dan. Help I whispered under my breath. Dan saw my pain and said to his mum,
"Cody's dad had a heart attack mum; he lived for five days then passed peacefully."
"Oh I am sorry dear; it must have been an awful time for you and your mum."
I looked at Dan and mouthed a "Thank you."
She was tired so we walked her and Rob downstairs and settled them in.
"Just ring if you want to come up and chin wag about Daniel Mrs L."
"Oh Cody, Bubby was a beautiful baby, not that Michael and Luke weren't, but Bub was just gorgeous. I should have brought the photo albums to show Squirt, Rob."
I said, "When I come to the farm we can go through them."
"Oh Mum," Dan said,
"No bunny rug photos okay?"
"Oh Bubby don't take away all my fun."
I roared laughing, "I love this woman."
That night we sat on the balcony alone.
I said, "Your mum's a crack up, but your dad's very quiet"
"He's worried Codes, we all are, if the chemo doesn't work there's no other option. She will get sick having this stuff but I'm hoping dad can cope, otherwise I'll get in a nurse."
"Well Dan I'm here to help. Thank you for covering today, I really didn't want to mention the C word and how Dad died"
"Yeah I could see you were struggling."
"You want anything to eat Bubby?"
"Shut up Squirt and yes I'm hungry"
"I'll just go out and shoot a bunny and cook it for you."
"Okay this has gone far enough Cody, no more Bubby and no more bunnies."
I said as I walked through the door, "Okay Bub."
I really didn't have a nickname for Dan, but now I have several.
"Carrot soup okay for dinner Dan?"
"Grrr" was all I heard.
Our nights were full of love and our days were training and events. The season will start soon, and after three days Anna was buggered. She was feeling the terrible effects of chemo, the phone woke me about two am, it was Rob. He said "Cody, Anna's really sick, can you or Dan come down, I'm scared I might do something wrong."
"Okay, I'm on the way."
Mrs L. was still in bed but she had spewed all over the blankets. I said to Rob, "Go make us a cuppa can you?"
"Okay Squirt, will everything be all right here?"
I said, "It's okay Rob I got it sorted."
I ran a bath and put a slip mat on the bottom. I drew back the blankets and got Anna up.
"I am sorry Cody I'm so embarrassed."
"Nonsense Mrs L, you go and have a long hot bath I will take care of this in no time."
She walked to the bathroom; I could hear her getting in.
I went to the kitchen and got a plastic bag and a rubber glove, I noticed Rob on the balcony staring into his tea. I went back and got most of the spew cleaned up. Then stripped the bed and remade it, I threw the blankets in the wash.
"Squirt, I heard her call."
I leaned on the door and said, "You okay in there, Mrs. L?"
"Darling boy, I've got some sick in my hair and I can't raise my arms to wash it out."
"Okay Mrs L helps is on its way."
I went to the linen closet and got a sheet towel, they are giant size. I opened the door and tossed the towel into the bath with my eyes closed, I said
"Cover yourself with this mum, and I'll come in and wash it for you."
She said "Okay you can come in now" I washed and rinsed her hair three times, she smelt better and felt better.
I found another nightie and pants for her and said, "Get yourself dry and I will be back to tuck you in, would you like a cuppa?"
"That would be lovely Cody," she answered.
I went out and put the kettle on, then I thought Rob might like another. I went out and said, "All fixed."
He looked at me lovingly and said, "You think I'm weak don't you?"
I was shocked at the statement.
I said "No I don't think you are weak at all, your human Rob, what happened would scare anyone half to …..I trailed off."
"It's just that I can't cope with her being sick all the time, we love each other, don't ever doubt that Squirt, but I can't stand seeing her suffer. I panicked, but thank you for your help."
"Look Mr L. I will help all I can, we are going to beat this disgusting disease and Anna's going to be well again, she's strong and she's positive that really counts with recovery"
"How do you know this stuff Cody?"
"I just know Rob."
The kettle boiled, I made my other Mum a cup of tea she was very grateful for what I did.
She said, "Sit here Squirt."
As she patted the bed I could see the first light of dawn rising out the bedroom window.
"Squirt what did your daddy really die of?"
I lowered my head and said
"Bowel Cancer Mrs L."
"I thought so; Dan's not a very good liar you know."
"He was shielding you and me that's all, he's so worried about all this, we all are."
"Cody tell me about your dad."
I did, it flowed out of me like a dam bursting, the pain, the hurt the absolute destruction of my hopes and dreams for him were shattered when he went.
She leant over and hugged me tight, she whispered in my ear, "In memory of your dad I am going to fight this battle and win for you and my boys.That's a given Squirt."
I cried in her arms for a while till I realised she had fallen asleep, her tea untouched. I turned the lamps off and cleaned up the bathroom. I threw the towels in the wash and pushed start. I then went and made myself a coffee and sat with Rob, we didn't say anything but there were a lot of unspoken words tossed around.
The phone rang and I raced to answer it before it woke Mrs L. It was Dan, I said.
"Hi Dan I'll come and fix your breakfast in a minute."
He asked, "Why are you there, I was worried?"
I just said, "I'll tell you when I get home, give me ten minutes."
I went out and grabbed my cup and did the dishes. Rob came in and shook my hand, he just said, "Thank you Cody."
I said "Get some sleep Rob, it's only just started."
He didn't answer, he knew that already.
I let myself out and grabbed the lift up to Dan's I was exhausted. He opened the door and I broke down and cried. After a few minutes I pulled myself together, I kissed him deeply and said,
"What would you like for breakfast?"
"An explanation first Squirt"
I made more coffee and sat on Dan's knees and he hugged me. I told him what happened, and I also told him I wanted to move his mum and dad into the spare room here. I also said I will talk to the club secretary and see if I can take a couple of weeks off. He asked why?
I said. "Dan your father isn't coping well with this, he rang here at two am, I've been with your mum all this time. I have to take a couple of weeks off work. I have to move them up here. And I have to look after your mum."
He looked at me puzzled.
"But again, why Cody?"
"Because she's your mum Dan."
I left it at that. After a bit of light kissing I said. "Now ready for breakfast?"
I kissed him again and fell asleep in his embrace.
When I woke I was on the bed with a rug over me, it was noon. Dan wasn't anywhere to be found. I guess he's downstairs. I showered dressed and went to the other flat. Dan was there, Mrs L took my hand and thanked me for helping her, she looked a lot better. Dan looked at me with those gorgeous grey eyes and I melted. Rob got up and went to the kitchen. Dan opened his mouth and closed it several times, but his words wouldn't come out, I looked at Anna and she started to say,
"Dan was just telling us about your offer to move us upstairs and your plan to take time off work Cody."
"Oh Mrs L, I have plenty of holiday time due, I can take a week or two off just to make sure everything is running smoothly. Moving you upstairs makes sense, both Dan and I will be there to help."
"Thank you Cody but I can't accept your offer darling boy."
She smiled "Don't ever think I'm ungrateful, I think you're one of the most unselfish, beautiful people I know. What you were planning is to nurse me yourself, not with Dan helping, just you, if I'm reading you correctly, you would no more put him through it than you would put the twins through it"
"I was sort of thinking that Mrs L but not nursing, just organising, that's what I do, I organise things so everything runs smoothly."
"Well Rob has made you boys some late breakfast and coffee, we can talk while you eat."
I looked over at the table there was a big roaster full of sausages, tomato, bacon, eggs, toast and onions.
"Oh this looks delicious Mr L, I wish Dan could cook like this"
"He can Cody, it's just that he wants you to wait on him. All our boys were taught to cook, I hope the twins didn't take advantage of you too, I told Dan not to let them."
I looked at Dan he was blushing and looking down at his hands.
We all tucked in, Mrs L had just a little, I understood about her appetite she had none, neither did my dad.
After the late breakfast Mrs L said, "Do you play cards Cody?"
I said, "Yes, a little, I used to play with my dad, he taught me some basic games. Why Mrs L?"
"Well, I guess I'm saying, did you ever make a card house?"
"Yeah plenty of times, every one has haven't they?"
"Yes, probably Cody," she paused.
"Cody at the moment I'm building one, and it's going to be a strong one, I'm using all my Kings and Queens to strengthen it, so a small gust of wind won't topple it down. My house is so strong, nothing will make it fall. I guess what I'm really saying Cody is, I'm strong willed, can be sassy when I want to, can shoot a gun, ride a horse, skin a rabbit, I'm a strong house of cards."
"I am unbeatable at building strong card houses. Now Cody you on the other hand are not strong, you think you are, but you're not. If I was to let you nurse me you would topple not at first but you will fall down eventually. And I just can't let you do that. I don't know your story, but I've seen your scars, the outside ones and the inside ones, I heard the way you grieved for your dad and I won't let you put yourself through it again with someone you hardly know. Dan has offered to get a nurse in and I've accepted his offer. I could just hug you all over for what you proposed, but I won't see you go through with your plan."
She got up and just hugged me gently.
"This says it all Cody, thank you."
I was silently sobbing onto my plate; I looked at this wonderful lady and said,
"Can I help just a little?"
"Yes Squirt you can do the dishes, none of us like doing that job."
Dan roared with laughter.
"It's true," he said.
His eyes were red and so were Rob's.
"Oh Codes one other thing, when my hair starts to fall out can you pick me out some cool scarves? You have a serious taste, my main dude man."
She tried the ghetto language.
I just said "Okay done deal."
"God, your ghetto talk is worse than Luke's."
We all had a good laugh and the tension was broken.
Dan and I returned to his apartment. He laid me on the bed, took down my hipsters he gave me the most explosive head job he could manage and he lapped it all up. He then drew me to him and said,
"I've won the main prize Cody, I've won you. What you proposed was probably the most generous thing my mum has ever had to deal with, she was blown away with your offer."
"But Dan, she's your mum; I wanted, no, I needed to do it for you all. You saved me Dan I wanted to repay you a little."
"She was right though Cody, you're outwardly strong but inwardly still grieving for your dad, my mum saw that early this morning, you can't try and fool her."
"Well Dan maybe I am but I would have done it, she's a wonderful lady, your mum."
"I know Squirt."
"Dan can I do you now?"
"Already taken care of Squirt."
I looked down and saw a big wet patch in his shorts, I smiled.
"OkayDan, later maybe."
"No maybes Squirt."
We showered and Dan dropped me at work, he had another photo shoot for a men's health magazine, then he was going to an agency to hire a nurse for his mum.He didn't have training, so he said he would pick me up at eight, in the bar.
The bingo ladies were at it when I arrived, Annie and I had been organising a Players Pre-Season Dinner, we were putting final plans into place, I had hoped Dan's parents could come, but I don't think they could, it was next Saturday night, my birthday.
I didn't have a twenty-first birthday party, I was too broke. My mum took me out to dinner. She gave me a gold chain; that was the first thing Steve sold for drugs. I had told Annie this story when it happened, she cried with me.
Well no good going back I said to myself, onward and upward, I can buy myself another one but the one I have around my neck is the most precious thing apart from Dan I have. Don't ever give up Cody.
"Thank you Luke."
We planned the player's night, there would be three hundred guests, speeches were to be made and a plan for the season would be announced.There would be entertainment, dancing and food, the most important ingredient. We planned the menu, flowers, table seating, festoons, balloons, red carpet, wine, beer and heaps of small things, like wheelchair access for some disabled fans; Cars for the senior players and their dates. It was to be a high class affair. I left the office at nine, said good night to Annie and went to the bar.
Dan was already there, he looked good.He was wearing an outfit he had been photographed in today. Black trousers, white shirt, tie, the cut was exquisite. "Armani" he said.
My eyes popped I was in awe.
"Codes they asked if they could outfit me for the player's ball, what do you think? I was speechless.
"I, I, fuck Dan, Armani? Armani wants to dress you for the ball?"
"Well, yes" he said.
"It was their stuff I modelled at the photo shoot today."
"Fuck! Go for it, it's just the best label in the world."
"Is it?" he said.
"Fuck yeah, I answered."
We grabbed a beer and went to Johnno's table; he didn't look so good and was sitting alone.
"Where's Mattie John?" Dan asked.
"Probably fucking his new boyfriend."
"What!!, John you're not serious are you?" I said.
"Yeah I am and I'm pissed off big time, I saw him hugging and kissing a little runt in the car park a couple of nights ago, so I have moved to Larry's place till I can get a place of my own."
I was gobsmacked.
"But John there must be another reason for it, he loves you so much, I can tell."
"Na, he hugged this runt and kissed his head, I'm not stupid Cody, I know what I saw"
"Okay John just settle down, listen I left something in the office, wait here and I'll be back in a minute."
I went back to my office and rang Matty.
"I don't know what to do Cody," he cried.
This tattooed, pierced powerhouse was crying into the phone.
"I just don't know what I did, I have been ringing him non-stop for two days now, I don't know where he is and I'm worried sick. Some of his clothes are gone and he wasn't in the bar last night."
"Mattie calm down, he's here at the club now"
"He just told us he saw you a few nights ago in the car park with some runt, kissing him and hugging him, what was that all about?"
"What Cody? What the fuck, I'll kill him; he knew my sister was in town that day, the skinny runt was Kate my sister. I told him we had a lunch date and I would meet him in the bar, her boyfriend was waiting for her so we hugged and kissed goodbye. Is that what sent him in a spin Squirt?"
"I'm afraid so, yes Matt"
"Right hold that stupid prick there, I'll be down to sort him out."
I said. "Matt please don't make a scene, there's a big crowd here at the moment, keep your cool or don't come. Dan and I will bring him home."
He already had hung up.
I went back to the bar and got more beers took them over to the table and looked at Dan, John was talking to Toby.
I said, "All sorted."
"All sorted Squirt, you sure?"
"Yep I'm sure, and I leaned over and whispered, It was Matty's sister he was kissing, fuck is Johnno gonna get it"
I couldn't stop laughing, when Dan got the comment he joined in. John turned to us and said "What's the joke dudes?"
I just said, "You are Johnno."
He looked baffled at my comment, but let it go. Five minutes later a very pissed off, very pumped Mattie came in, I could see the veins in his neck standing out he was so mad. John saw him and started for the back door.
"YOU!! Outside in the car park NOW!!"
It was an order John didn't dare disobey.They both went down the back way; we could hear them calling each other names, even from the car park. I couldn't stop laughing.
Dan said, "let's finish this and you can tell me on the way home."
"Okay but you're not gonna believe it."
We went down to the car and in the darkness we could see John and Matt kissing. I called out, "Hey Mattie, your skinny little runt has got a stiff."
As I unlocked the car I got a, "Fuck off Squirt" from John.
I filled Dan in on the way home, we couldn't stop laughing. It was late but Dan wanted to see his mum so we rang the door bell. Rob answered and we talked about the day's events. Anna was sleeping; she was exhausted so we left them to it. I did say to Rob, "Call me if you need me."
He said, "I will Cody."
Goodnight hugs from both of us and up to bed.
"Hey Squirt can I ask you something?"
Well, it's kinda out there, you won't get mad?"
"Well, what I want to know is have you ever thought of cheating on me?"
"Well, I was going to say if you got the urge and opportunity, would you still love me?"
"What if I did like cheat?"
"I would cut your balls off Dan, goodnight Dan."
"Goodnight Codes, I love you."
"I love you more Dan."
He snuggled up to me and kissed my neck, somehow I knew this conversation wasn't over.
"Squirt are you still awake?"
"I don't want you to cheat on me okay"
"No problem Dan, all sorted, goodnight bubbie"
Dan woke me with a blow job, and I blew him in the shower, he said he couldn't wait to make love to me. I said we should do something special when it happens. He said he would think on it. Work the next day started for me at nine am. Dan was going to introduce the nurse to his mum. She would be a live-in for two weeks. Dan said she was a lovely girl, with heaps of references, and when I met her, I knew straight away she was perfect, Dan didn't tell me he had hired Connie, she just happened to be looking for more work, she was only part time at the hospital.
Well, work that day was full on, we had already organised the major things a few months ago, but the little things that could only be done days before had to be attended to. So we concentrated on them. I told Annie about Dan's Armani offer, she nearly wet herself.
"Cody do you know what Armani can do for Dan?"
"No what Annie?"
"They can make him look like a Hollywood superstar that's what."
I was totally fucked by the end of the day; I rang Dan and said I was just going to come home. I will call on your mum on the way, I said.
"Ok hun, I'll stay here then, no training, we can just be by ourselves."
I talked with Connie for a while; she saw no problems with Mrs L. I thanked her and we talked about my attacks, she was so pleased they had stopped; I said I was happier than ever. She said cryptically, "Has your happiness got anything to do with a certain Iris flower man?"
I said, "You know it sister, you were right about him, I just didn't see it for awhile."
We laughed, and then I went to see Anna, I did say hi to Rob on the way through.
"Hi Mrs L, how are you today?" She looked dreadful, god that shit fucks with your body.
"I'm okay Squirt how are you, you look a little tired love, have you been having late nights?"
"No not very late, just a bit heavy at work today that's all. I've been organising the Pre-Season Ball it's on Saturday night. Armani, a huge fashion house in Milan are making Dan's outfit, he will look awesome in it."
"I think the twins are coming down for it." She said they are very excited. "I would have loved to have gone but unfortunately I've got nothing to wear" she laughed.
I said I would make sure Dan shows her his outfit before he goes.
"Who is he taking to the ball Cody?"
I froze for a minute.
"I really don't know Mrs L; I'll have to ask him tonight."
I hadn't thought about who Dan had asked, but he has to take someone, I've seen him with some stunning women over the past few years.
"Uh?" I said.
"Are you okay darling boy?"
"Yes, yes of course I am Mrs L, just switched off for a minute, sorry. Is the therapy nearly over Mrs L?"
"No love about halfway through, then we will see what cards we were dealt."
"I'm certain they will be good ones Mrs L."
"Cody, can I ask you something?" Of course you can I said.
"Can you tell me how you got your scars?"
"I don't know Anna, it's painful and in the past."
"I'm sorry darling, I just wanted to get to know you better, that's all. I am sorry Cody I did ask Dan but he just said, it's Cody's story and if he wants to tell you he will, but it's not up to him to say."
I said "Dan's right Mrs L, I really want to bury it but because of who you are there is a story I can tell you, but it's not pretty"
I told her my story about Steve, I told her about the total destitution, I told her about the bashings, the lies, the breaking and selling of my lovely things and I told her about being thrown into the glass. I didn't tell her about the rapes.
She teared up; I was crying silent tears when I finished my story. She said, "You poor boy, what you went through must have been a living nightmare"
I looked at her and said "He saved me Mrs.L, he saved me"
"Who saved you Cody?"
"Dan, Dan saved me, he saved me three times, he saved my life, three times, and Luke healed me."
"Luke?" she said.
"He gave me this little heart and wrote on it 'never give up Cody'" then he took me to the doctors, he had worked out I was allergic to my medication, that's why I was having bad panic attacks, fits and horrible vivid nightmares."
"Dan saved me, Luke healed me."
I then wept so hard I had to go. I wiped my eyes and said
"I'm sorry mum L, I have to go home now, I will see you in the morning."
She was really upset, I couldn't help her.
She said "I'm sorry Cody, but I needed to know your story."
Oh Mrs L, there's so much more, but I can't tell anyone, it's too painful for me, maybe Dan will tell you one day but I can't."
"I didn't mean to upset you, I hadn't realised how bad it was going to be for you to tell me."
"It's okay, it's over now, goodnight sweet dreams." I said.
"Goodnight Cody, I love you my boy."
I said goodnight to Rob and Connie.
She said."You okay Hun?"
I said, "Sure, life's a bitch sometimes Connie."
I left the flat and walked to the stairwell, I climbed to the first landing and collapsed sobbing my heart out, I just wanted a good cry, I held my little heart in my fingers and whispered, "Never give up Cody, never give up"
I didn't call Dan to help me, but he came anyway, he sat beside me and held me to him and whispered, "It's okay Cody I'm here, Dan's here holding you and loving you."
We sat there for ages then we ascended the last of the staircase. He put me to bed and held me while I went to sleep.
No more nightmares, just a good night sleep. I woke refreshed and feeling great, Dan was still asleep so I slid down and started to lick his ball sac he took hold of my head and said, "Not yet babe I need to do toilet"
We had wonderful sex that morning.