A Special Place--Part Twelve--Luke
As we walked away from the falls, it was sunset. The sky was absolutely aglow with reds, oranges, patches of blue and streaks of sunlight shining through clouds. It was so beautiful that Matt and I, without comment, stopped in the middle of the meadow and stood still and silent, holding hands and enjoying the beauty before us. Matt slipped an arm around my waist and I one around his, holding each other close for a very long time. Finally Matt said, "Yonghon Tongmu, the very heavens proclaim the beauty of our love. It is a sign. There are clouds, but without them, the sunset would not be as beautiful. So it will be for us. There are hard times ahead, but through them through your near-death our love will be made stronger and more beautiful."
How do you respond to such words? My response was simply to pull Matt closer and keep silent. Finally, after a long silence, I turned and looked into the face of my beloved. His hair was loose and it was blowing in a soft spring breeze as our lips met in a kiss as beautiful and as innocent as the sunset. We then resumed our walk in the twilight.
Supper--dinner was when you went all out, supper was when you just had good, plain food--was an unusually quiet affair, especially in light of the fact that the Gang of Four was present. Conversation was sadly lacking until Greywolf asked, "Have you four failed to tell me of the death of a friend? You surely are solemn this evening."
"This afternoon was pretty heavy, Dad," Matt said. "Luke and I spent a long time at the falls talking about what lies ahead and it was not light stuff."
"True," Yong Jin agreed, "but I can tell you from some pretty tough experiences growing up, you--both--are made of strong stuff and can weather the storms, especially with the support you have and if you continue to support each other. Also, you need to remember to ask for help from those who love you. We have our lives and our problems and may seem neglectful, but we'll not be. Ask."
"Yea, I really wish I had known that when Mom was sick and dying. Now I know that Dad never intended to neglect or forget me, but it seemed that way. But all I would have had to do was ask. I guess I was just too young and immature to know so I let the hurt and pain eat away at me. Had it not been for Yong Jin I might well have ended up one of those super assholes--sorry Yong Jin, Mary Kathryn--at school. I was sure trying to get into that crowd. I thought if I became a big enough ass, Dad would have to pay attention. Not that I'm suggesting you two might become jerks, just that you might not ask for help when you need it."
"You didn't do a very good job of being a jerk very long. First of all, because no one puts something over on Mom for very long and second because you are too great a guy to play a jerk, much less be one," Matt laughingly assured Michael.
"Well, this is a bit better," Greywolf said. "I want all of you to know that Luke cleaned up his lab work in physics today. I expected him to have to spend at least one more Saturday in the lab."
"I couldn't have done it without help. Two guys who were making up work finished theirs and helped me get mine done. While one helped me set up, the other took down equipment and one or the other was recorder for my data so it went really fast. I also had a grand time talking with them."
"Who were they?" Matt asked.
"Eugene Joyce and Larry Watley."
"I know Eugene, not extremely well, but he was in my music class last year. Both he and Larry have been one of my lab partners at one time or another, but you really don't get to know someone just working on experiments," Matt said.
"Man, we talked about everything: movies, music, school...."
"Relationships?" Mary Kathryn asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I may be wrong, although I don't recall ever being wrong so maybe there's one chance in a million that I am, but I think those two guys have a very special relationship too."
"You know, I thought I picked up some vibes there today. Man, if they have they better be careful if you picked up on it and I thought I had."
"Got to remember, Big Brother, we have a certain advantage here."
"You may be right about both things," Greywolf said, "but also if they are lovers, they need to be very careful as do you Matt and Luke. The tolerance level at Independence High School is pretty low as it is in most high schools."
"Well, intolerance is a daily practice at Independence. And teachers often encourage it, usually by not doing or saying something, but sometimes they do or say things which encourage it. What particularly really burns me up is name-calling: African American kids calling each other nigger and guys calling each other faggot. It happens all the time in the halls and I know that a lot of teachers hear and ignore it," Michael said.
"Which explains why Michael almost slugged hell out of me last night when I said, 'Michael, if you don't want to sleep with a faggot...' Before I knew it, he exploded and had his fist ready to slug me," Matt said.
"Damn right. And next time, IF there is a next time, I'll do it too!"
"I guess most people fear anything different and in the case of high school males, there's a real fear of not being macho enough and a fear of being gay because it is a very rare high school male who doesn't at one time or another, questioned his sexuality," Greywolf said.
"Present company excepted, I hope," Matt said. "I have never questioned the fact that I loved only one person--I mean with that kind of love--and that's Luke."
"But you didn't want to face the question of whether or not you were gay. You just blinded yourself to what loving me meant, at least to the man on the street."
"You're right. I remember saying to Margaret, after I told her how much I loved you, 'I guess that makes me gay.' I GUESS that makes me gay."
"I knew I was gay, devoted to Matt and Matt alone, but there was no question in my mind about my being gay."
"When I told Margaret about my love for Luke and said I guess that made me gay, she said she hated labels. I guess--I know--I'm gay if loving a man makes me gay and that's no problem. The problem comes when that label starts determining who I am to people and when they think it gives them the right to treat me differently," Matt commented.
Michael said, "I worried about being different, about being gay, but the worst part was not being gay, but being different. I understand the questioning. I also understand how the super macho bit is often a cover up. What I don't understand is gay bashing. What does that prove? That you're a man? Hardly, especially when it takes five guys to beat up Gregory. And I think what is even worse are those who aren't really bad guys but who go along because they are afraid someone will question their sexuality. To me, being gay or straight gives no privileges and takes away none. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all and if you don't interfere with those for me, I have no leave to attempt to take them from you." Michael had really gotten impassioned as he talked.
"Well, I think that just about covers the issue. And I'll have to admit that while I do not condone or let derogatory name calling I hear pass , I have not done what I should have done in regard to my fellow teachers who, I know, passively encourage intolerance by their silence or actively by their own comments... And now, after this light supper conversation, what would you four like to do? Matt could run into town and rent a video, we can watch TV, you can all go to Matt's room and make out...."
"After our songfest last night, I vote we listen to some of the music you and Yong Jin listened to when you were our age or even older tunes and just sit in the library and cuddle," Mary Kathryn suggested.
"Well, that's what I had in mind for Yong Jin and myself, if she's willing to cuddle with me. I'd be happy to have you four join us," Greywolf said.
"Hell yea--sorry," I exclaimed as Michael bowed in front of Mary Kathryn and took her arm, leading her to the library. Greywolf and I bowed to our loves and soon we were all in the library: Greywolf and Yong Jin on the love seat, Michael and I in the overstuffed chairs with our loves sitting on the floor between our legs.
"I think I know where we start," Greywolf said as he gently and lovingly took a real record out of its sleeve and placed it on the turntable.
"Dad, before you start the record, will you pop in a tape and make a recording of this old stuff."
"What do you mean 'old stuff' Mr. Greywolf? Why half these tunes were written when I was about your age. Old stuff indeed," Greywolf laughed as he put a blank cassette in, then started the record.
Soon the room was filled with Perry Como singing "More" and we all six sang along. Other songs followed and the mood was mellow. Matt's hair was unbraided and I noticed, as I stroked it, Yong Jin was doing the same to Greywolf's loose hair. Michael was running his fingers through Mary Kathryn's hair, which was not as long as the Greywolfs', but wasn't short either. I guess we were just a room full of people with hair fetishes. Actually, we were three couples very much in love.
"Well, I know we are all enjoying this and it is delightful, but it's time to break up the party. Michael, you were going to St. Mary's with Matt in the morning?"
"Yea. And Dad is coming to go with you and Yong Jin later, right?"
"Right. Luke, Mary Kathryn, which Mass do you want to attend at Immaculate Conception?"
"I think I'll go with Michael. Mom and Dad needn't know and I want to if you don't mind. Since we Larsens can never settle on any one Mass, we go at different times. No one at Immaculate Conception will be the wiser since Fr. Muller has an assistant who does Mass as well as he."
"We don't want to lead you astray, Mary Kathryn," Greywolf said, "but if that's what you want to do...."
"I think I better show up since Fr. Muller will be sure to notice if I'm not there and will probably ask Fr. O'Brian if I was at one of his Masses. There's a plain Mass at 9:15 which is over by 10:10 at the latest. What time are you and Michael going in, Matt?"
"I usually leave about 9:00 which would cut it close, but if we leave at five minutes of nine, we could drop you off."
"And when's Mass at St. Mary's?"
"The one I play for and everyone is attending is at 10:30."
"Great! I can go to Immaculate Conception at 9:15 and have plenty of time to join the rest of you at St. Mary's for the 10:30 Mass."
"Oh," Michael suddenly exclaimed, "I was supposed to ask you about taking communion at St. Mary's. Since Dad will be coming with you later, I needed to know and I would probably forget it in the morning. I am NOT a morning person."
"You are all welcome to receive the Sacrament. It's there for everyone who has been baptized and no one would turn you away if you weren't, mainly I guess because Fr. Tom wouldn't know, but he'd never embarrass someone in church. Mary Kathryn, Luke, your church says you cannot--should not--but so far as St. Mary's is concerned, you're welcome," Greywolf said. "Well, it's time to break it up since it's about my bedtime. Of course I'm sure you four will be up half the night, but remember getting up time is like a school day."
"Mary Kathryn, you're sleeping in the guest room--alone I trust," Yong Jin said with a laugh. "Boys, make your own arrangements."
"This must be serious business, Michael, Mrs. Greywolf indeed."
"It is serious business. I'm really new at this love thing and I'd like to know the rules. I don't expect to sleep with Mary Kathryn...."
"Good to know you'll not be disappointed, Lover Boy," Mary Kathryn said in her you-want-your-legs-broken voice.
"...but what about being in the room with her?"
"Michael, I am willing to leave that to your and Mary Kathryn's judgement. On the one hand, you've been friends for years and I hope you will be for many years to come. Being in the room with Mary Kathryn has never been a problem before but, on the other hand, you're in a new relationship now and at an age where control can pass by the boards...."
"Tell me about it!"
"What do you want to do? Or perhaps I better put it this way, what do you think you should do?"
"I think the open door policy Matt and Luke have established for themselves sounds like a good one for us."
"Then when you are in Mary Kathryn's room, leave the door open. That's a reminder for you two, not a means of keeping tabs on you," Yong Jin said, dumping the problem right back in the two young lovers' laps. Hard and fast rules are sure easier, but then hard and fast rules are just rules to be broken. Decisions and responsibility for them are much harder to live with, but make you feel like a real person. " Good going, Mom Greywolf," I thought.
"Oh, I almost forgot. Matt, Luke, Margaret left something for you when she came this afternoon. Her instructions were that I was to give it to you when you were ready to go upstairs. You are not to open it until the two of you are alone." With these words, Yong Jin handed me a beautifully wrapped box which had an envelope addressed to Sarang Hanun Pomul and Yonghon Tongmu on top.
"Thanks, Mom Greywolf."
"Yea, thanks, Mom," Matt said.
The four of us went upstairs. The guys had dibs on the bathroom so all three of us piled in to pee and brush our teeth. We were all out in about the same time it took Mary Kathryn alone. When Mary Kathryn finished, Michael asked Matt if he had a robe. Matt reached in the back of his closet and came up with a stunning black silk robe, floor length, richly embroidered with dragons. "Mom got this for me on her last trip to Korea. I think its great, but I seldom wear it." He handed it to Michael who was now completely naked.
Michael disappeared in the bathroom and we heard the shower and Michael-- Michael!--singing at the top of his lungs "More than the greatest love the world has known.... " When he emerged from the bathroom he had on the robe and, to tell the truth, he looked good enough to eat. The silk allowed his build to show through and its blackness made his eyes look dark, dark green and accented his blond hair which set off a beautiful face. "I'm not sure an open door is going to protect you from getting your bod crawled when you walk in with that on," I laughed. "I keep hoping, but you Larsens just lead your lovers on, right Matt?"
"Right. Michael, when you get ready, just crawl in the bed. If we're asleep...."
"...just shove Luke over."
"Look. guys, I know you two want to be alone tonight just like I want more than anything to go down the hall and crawl in bed with Mary Kathryn and fuck...."
"Don't you dare ever use that word again Michael Jacob Andrews!" I exploded at Michael as he had at Matt the night before. "When the time comes I hope you make such mad passionate love to my sister that you both see stars, but if you ever fuck her, I will beat the shit out of you. I'll beat you within an inch of your life. What do you think Mary Kathryn would say if she heard you say you wanted to fuck her? You wouldn't have balls enough to fuck anything. If you went to her room right now and said, 'Let's fuck.' I'd place money on hearing your ass bounce in the hall. If, on the other hand, you went down to her room and told her how much you loved her and that you wanted to make love to her, she might or might not go along, but I think she'd tell you she wanted to make love to you just as badly. But I'll bet you both my balls that she'd not say, "Ok, let's fuck." I was livid.
"Hey, Luke, Bro, I was being a total jerk and ass. I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. It IS the same way I felt last night when Matt called himself a faggot. I was pulling the super macho bit again, I guess, because, to tell the truth, I'm scared and put on a front to hide how nervous I am right now. I'm new at this love game and I'm scared shitless that I'll screw it up. I am not only sorry, but humiliated and utterly ashamed of myself. I feel like shit, but you know I really didn't mean that... damn I really feel lower than shit." Michael's eyes filled with tears. He was having a hard time talking through them, but managed to say, "I have managed to fuck up one of the most perfect evenings I can remember. I've fucked up a friendship; I have, even though she doesn't know it, insulted the woman I love more than life itself. I've cheapened my relationship to her."
"Michael, you're my brother and one asshole remark is not going to change that. And if you think your remark ruined a perfect evening, you've got another think coming. I'll place money on Mary Kathryn proving that before you get through the open door. I just got angry way more than I should have, not only because she's my sister, but also because I've become overly sensitive about words and what they say, as obviously you have yourself since you got angry at Matt for a word we hear over and over everyday in school. I've seen your love and devotion to Mary Kathryn and I should have taken a much more calm approach to simply remind you that certain words are not used about the person you love. Maybe I would have said the same thing about Matt, but Greywolf said that if he ever heard either of us talking about fucking the other there'd be a high price to pay. 'Dogs and people who are like dogs fuck,' he said, 'people who are people make love.' I then embraced Michael and Matt joined in.
"Thanks, guys, thanks for loving me enough to set me straight. Thanks a million."
"You ok now?"
"Yea. Mind if I talk about this conversation with Mary Kathryn?"
"It's your life you're risking bro. See you later. Leave the door open when you go out and when you come back."
As Michael walked to the closet I was again struck by how stunning he looked. He reached into the closet and, as he turned, he was holding a sleeping bag. "I won't be coming back. I'm going to sleep downstairs on the living room sofa. I want you guys to have this night together to do whatever you want to do.
"Well, Michael, I seriously doubt that we will do what we want to do. Need I remind you that our decision is to put off having sex until we are eighteen? So just as you are probably not going to do what you want to do...."
"Make love to Mary Kathryn."
"Neither are we going to do what we WANT to do, make love--if making love ONLY means having sex. But it doesn't, does it?"
"Nope, and thanks for everything, guys, you're the greatest. Good night." And with those words, he walked down to hall to Mary Kathryn's room and, as if to make his intentions clear, tossed the sleeping bag down the steps as he passed the stairs.
When Michael left the room, Matt pulled me to himself and gave me a deep french kiss which I returned with equal fervor. When we broke our kiss, I started unbuttoning Matt's shirt and he mine. I looked into his eyes and asked, "Ok, Matt, boxers or briefs?"
"Boxers or briefs, what?"
"Didn't you say that one of the things we would have to do if we continued sleep overs was to wear something to bed? So is it to be boxers or briefs?" I asked again as I walked to the chest where Michael, Matt and I all have both.
"Luke, I know I said it, but I think it's the dumbest thing I have ever said. At least I can't think of anything dumber than believing that two layers of cloth--barbed wire for that matter--would stop our making love if we decided to do so. I know it will be hard....
"Both of them...."
"I know it will be DIFFICULT for me not to hop you body because I want you so bad, but I trust you and I know you trust me to keep our promises to each other. The evening has been perfect and I'm not sure but that making love to you and having you to make love to me tonight would not be a very, very special first time, but...."
"Babe, I love you so much," I said as I pulled Matt to me and in doing so, fell on the bed. My head hit the box Margaret had left for us. Matt, who was lying between my legs, reached behind my head and got the box. "Matt, I love you dearly, but you're mashing my balls!" Matt laughed, got up and sat on the bed. I sat with Matt between my legs, looking over his shoulder. "Well, it's addressed to both of us; open it."
Inside the envelope was a card which read, "This is for two men I love very, very much and who I know have made promises they are finding difficult to keep. Maybe this will help." It was signed, "With my deepest love and affection, Margaret."
I was holding the box while Matt opened the envelope. When I opened the box the whole room, it seemed, was filled with a faint fragrance, the fragrance of Matt's hair which always drove me wild. There was another card inside the box:
Menu for Slow and Easy Light Fare: Talking to each other about slow and easy Kissing and hugging Listening to music and/or dancing together Undressing each other Back rubs, foot rubs, & body rubs while undressed Rubbing body oil on each other Kissing or licking or fondling (except for you know) Caressing, tickling, pinching, & nibbling each other Showering together Stroking, brushing, or playing with each other's hair
Entrees: Petting with no clothes on Stroking, caressing, tickling, pinching, & nibbling each other& fondling (except you know)
Desserts: Licking flavored nonpetroleum-based oil off your partner's body
Holding each other Sleeping together
Under the card was bottle of body oil, shampoo, and soap, all with the same great fragrance: the fragrance of Matt's hair.
About the time we finished reading the menu, there was a shout from Mary Kathryn's room. Without thinking, we both jumped off the bed and raced down the hall, shirtless. Just as we reached the open door, there was another scream from Michael. As soon as we saw inside the room, Matt and I both started laughing our heads off. Mary Kathryn, dressed in a very feminine robe, was sitting astride Michael's stomach TICKLING him. Michael has tears in his eyes and was begging her to stop and when it got to be too much, he let out a shriek.
Between shrieks Michael finally was able to say, "Rescue me, please." Mary Kathryn looked up, saw us, and quickly released Michael and did her "cat licking its paw" routine. You know like a cat which has been caught doing something that it thinks it shouldn't starts licking it's paw as if to say, "I don't know what you're talking about."
While Michael was catching his breath, Mary Kathryn sat back on her bed and became very serious, "Brothers Matt and Luke, Michael had the guts to tell me about using the F word and I admire him for being so honest with me and I do appreciate you jumping him about it. But as he said, we're both brand new at this love stuff and frankly, I'm as nervous as he is. I guess women just have a different way of hiding. But again, thanks. You may have to get him back on the right path again, but probably not since I remembered how ticklish he is." And with those words, she made a grab across the bed, snatched Michael to herself and gave him a grand kiss. Just when he was really getting into it, she goosed him in the ribs and he exploded.
"Well, I guess we have done all the rescue work needed here, Matt. I'm surprised Greywolf hasn't rushed up the stairs to see what's going on."
"I guess Mom and Dad meant it when they said we'd have our privacy. Well, you two, carry on," Matt said and we returned to his room.
When we got back to the room, Matt looked at me with a strange look in his eye. "Luke, you know one reason we are finding slow and easy so difficult?
"Yea, I think I do if you're thinking the same thing I'm thinking. Friday night at the river I mentioned that you and I needed to learn something from Michael and Mary Kathryn about playful love. There is not the slightest doubt that tickling session we interrupted is one of the ways they show their love and affection for each other. Babe, I think we're just way too serious."
"That's exactly what I was thinking. But right now I'm ready to get to work on the slow and easy menu and I don't think I want to start with tickling!" Matt was standing in front of me and reached out and took me into his arms. Just as he did, the tape Greywolf had made, reversed itself and Perry Como started singing "More." As the music started, Matt started dancing, holding me to himself. "Who would have thought all those hated Saturday dance lessons Gabrielle dragged us to would come in handy?" he asked as we danced.
"Who'd have thought that we'd end up each other's arms when we decided to put them to use?" I asked Matt as I pressed my forehead to his and gazed deeply into his black, beautiful almond eyes.
"Hate to break in, but Mary Kathryn and I heard the music and, well, if you guys don't mind, we'd like to put into practice those dance lessons we hated so much." I turned and saw Michael and Mary Kathryn standing in the door, holding hands.
"Sure," Matt said. "And you won't have the problem of deciding who will lead."
"You can put money on that, Sir Matthew," Mary Kathryn laughed as she took Michael in her arms and started dancing--leading.
After "More" was over and the next song started, I winked at Matt and he walked up behind Michael and tapped him on the shoulder, "Mind if I cut in?"
"No, but don't expect to lead."
As he stepped back, Mary Kathryn demurely placed one hand on Matt's shoulder and the other in his hand. "You just have to let Michael know who's in charge," she laughed. Meanwhile, Michael walked over to me, bowed, and we started dancing, he leading.
When the song ended, we changed partners again and danced to two or three more songs before Michael and Mary Kathryn said good night and went back to her room. Matt and continued to dance, our lips pressed together, our bodies close.
As we danced, Matt's hand found the button to my jeans, unbuttoned it and slid down the zipper. When my jeans fell to my ankles, I didn't miss a beat as I kicked them off: one leg then the other. Taking my cue from Matt, I opened his jeans and he, too, kicked them off as we continued dancing, I in my briefs, Matt in his boxers.
"Matt, we've got a problem here. We established an open door policy for our sleep overs, but now we have Mary Kathryn down the hall and it hardly seems appropriate to have the door open since she may need to come by."
"Luke, we didn't say how far open and it was to be a reminder for us," Matt said, as he walked to the door and partially closed it. "That's open enough to be a reminder, but gives anyone walking down the hall the opportunity not to look in."
Another song had just started when Matt came back and, as he stood before me, I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of his boxers and slipped them to the floor. As I stood up, Matt took my face between his hands and gave me a passionate french kiss. As the kiss continued, he slipped my briefs from my body. When the song ended we stepped back, standing naked before each other. Standing before me was not only the man I loved, but also the hard sculptured body I craved. Matt was so beautiful in his darkness. His almond eyes were sparkling as he drew me to himself and covered my lips with his. Before the kiss ended, I felt Matt's hard manhood against my body as I am sure he felt mine.
As the next song started, I pulled Matt to the bed and as I lay down on my back, pulled him on top of me. We managed to do that without breaking our kiss. As Matt lay on top of me, I saw him reach over my head and take the bottle of oil from the night stand where we had left it after opening the box from Margaret. As he lifted his lips from mine he had a devilish smile on his face and a gleam in his eye. He opened the bottle of oil--the fragrance of Matt completely filled my world--and poured a trickle down my chest. His hands began to gently rub the oil over my chest, giving special attention to my nipples. He continued to cover my body with oil as he started massaging my chest and stomach. "You know if you keep moving down, things are going to...."
"Just relax, Luke Babe, this is slow and easy so don't let yourself get all hot and bothered," Matt laughed as he rocked back on his heels and poured a stream of oil on my legs. He continued to massage down my body, rubbing the oil into my thighs and legs then said, "Ok, turn over."
When I turned over, lying on my stomach, Matt poured oil on my back and began to massage my back and shoulders. He poured oil on my ass and started kneading my cheeks. A couple times his fingers had brushed my rosebud and I started getting hard. Before I could say anything to him, he oiled my thighs and legs and was massaging them. It felt so good. His hands on my body felt so good. "Ok, turn over," he said. When I did he saw my hard cock and said, "Luke, I told you this was slow and easy and not to get hot and bothered." He laughed, bent over and kissed first one nipple then the other.
"Matt, how can I keep a cool tool when your body alone sets me off and now all this." Matt again started massaging down my body, moving his hands down until he reached my crotch where he moved a hand down each leg. "Matt, I told you that if you kept on... yipes!"
Matt had been massaging a foot and suddenly started tickling the bottom of it. His hands were slippery from the oil so he couldn't hold on long, thank goodness, since the bottoms of my feet are extremely ticklish. When I escaped his grip, I grabbed the bottle from his hand, pushed him backwards on the bed and started pouring oil on him. We were soon wrestling on the bed and getting oil all over the two of us as first one then the other had the bottle. When it was almost empty, Matt was lying on his back laughing, holding the bottle above his head. I lunged for it and missed, falling on top of him. I immediately slid off. This was fun! We kept trying to grab and hold each other, but mostly our naked bodies were just slipping and sliding over each other. Both of us were laughing like crazy. I was finally able to catch and hold Matt but as I bent forward to kiss him, I slipped and again slid off his body.
When we finally were able to stop laughing, we faced each other with Matt sitting in my lap, his legs out behind me and mine stretched behind him. After a kiss, which was broken up when Matt started sliding off my lap, we were giggling so hard we couldn't do anything."Sarang Hanun Pomul, " I said when I was able to stop giggling long enough, "turn around." Matt sat between my legs with his back to me and I slowly began to massage his shoulders and back. I then reached around him and opened my hands wide, rubbing them across his chest and then placing my palms over his nipples, moved my hands in small circles. Matt turned his head around and leaned back until I could kiss him.
"Luke, I love you so much. So very, very much. I have your heart, but Babe, I want your body as well."
"Yea, I know, Babe, I want your body too. But right now I think we had better clean up the mess we have made."
"Man, that sure is a romantic statement if I've ever heard one," Matt said in little kid's pouty voice. He reached back and grabbed my head and did a kind of flip until he was facing me. We started wrestling again and once again kept sliding off each other. Finally, between giggles, Matt said, "On the other hand, I don't think there's anything very romantic we can do when we can't hold on to each other, so cleaning up the mess is probably a good idea. Where do you suggest we start?"
"It would probably be a good idea to start by taking the sheet off the bed and then hit another item from the menu like taking a shower together."
We managed to get the sheet off the bed and use it to cover the carpet to the bathroom, all the time still giggling our heads off. Before we crossed the hall to the bathroom, which was directly opposite Matt's door, Matt stuck his head out the door to make sure the coast was clear. As we walked to the bathroom, I noticed Mary Kathryn's door was closed and the sleeping bag was no longer on the stairs--not that I was checking up on Mary Kathryn and Michael.
Matt had brought the soap and shampoo and when we got to the bathroom he said, "I hope playing with my hair is on the agenda Luke Hans Larsen because it's oily as all get out and it will take forever to dry unless you to dry it for me."
"I don't know about that. I really am not much on the hair thing NOT!"
Matt turned on the shower and when the water got hot, adjusted the temperature. We got into the shower and embraced for a kiss. Matt then turned me around and put my head under the shower. When my hair was wet, he started shampooing it. I loved it! No one had shampooed my hair since Mom stopped giving me a bath. As soon as Matt had finished my hair, I shampooed his. A major job since it was long enough to cover his ass. Once we had finished with each other's hair, Matt took the soap and started washing my body. "Turn around so I can wash your back," he said. After a quick kiss, I turned my back to him and he started washing and massaging my back.
"God, that feels wonderful, Matt." He was kneading the muscles of my back and shoulders and it really felt great.
"Ok, turn around, Babe, so I can do your front." As Matt ran the soap over my chest and stomach I wondered where he would stop. As if to answer my question, he knelt and washed each of my legs. "Hold up a foot so I can do a good job." I held up one, then the other foot and remembered too late that my lover would probably go for the bottom of the last foot he washed. He did and suddenly we were both a bundle of giggles again.
When Matt stood up, he bent forward, kissed me and started washing Little Luke. As Matt washed my most private part, Little Luke came to life. I just looked into Matt's eyes as he finished. "You realize that is the first time you or any man has ever touched me there?" I asked.
Matt smiled and said, "I'm the first and I had better be the last, and one day soon, when Little Luke comes alive it will be my pleasure to put him in his place!" He kissed me and handed me the soap.
I washed Matt as he had done me. As I washed his Chili Pepper, it got hard as Little Luke had done, but when I gazed into Matt's eyes I saw love, not lust. "Do you think there's something wrong with us? I mean we are in a shower together and have touched each other in a way we never have before and neither of us lost control even after we got hard as rocks."
"Might be there's something very right about us. I suspect it wouldn't take ten seconds for us to be so hard we could drive holes in the wall with our manhood if that's what we were about. But I think maybe with the help of Margaret and Michael and Mary Kathryn we have added several more to the list of a thousand ways to show love and affection tonight. But I think we had better get out of the shower before we turn to prunes."
Matt grabbed two towels from the linen closet and we dried each other. Damn it was erotic and great fun! When we had dried our hair as best we could with towels, Matt grabbed his brush and a hair dryer and we streaked across the hall to his room. Since it was going to take so long, I started brushing and drying Matt's hair. Ever so often I had to stop and kiss this man I loved so much. When his hair was finally dry I realized that as much as I loved it, it sure took a lot of effort as he quickly braided it. "You realize that's probably a waste of time," I said as he finished.
"Yea, but I don't want to take away your fun. Now let me do your hair." While Matt's hair is long and thick, it is easy to brush. My hair was curly and I hadn't had it cut in ages so it was just a mass of tight curls. Matt worked on it carefully, but finally I realized that if it was going to be dry tonight, I'd have to work on it. While I was finishing my hair, Matt remade the bed with the clean sheet.
"No boxers and no briefs?"
"No boxer and no briefs," Matt echoed. While he started the tape again and turned out the lights, I crawled in bed. The fresh cool sheet felt great on my naked body, but nothing in comparison to the body of my love, my life, which was soon pressed against mine. We lay, facing each other, our faces dim in the light of the full moon shining through a window. I put my arms around Matt and unbraided his hair. When it was free, he raised up on an elbow, leaned over me and his hair did its special magic of creating a world in which there were only the two of us. Our lips slowly came together in a long, long, tender and passionate kiss. As we ended the kiss, Matt said, "Yonghon Tongmu, every time I think I couldn't possibly love you more, another day passes and I discover more love for you than I had the day before. Today has been a wondrous day. Even with all the reality we had to face with the family meeting and in looking at our future, it was a wondrous day. For the first time I am sleeping with the man I love and even though I know that making love... no, I was going to say that making love would be a thousand times what we have had today, but that would be wrong. We have made love. All day long we have made love. We have made love when we were apart. So I guess all I can say is 'Yonghon Tongmu, I love you with my whole heart and being with you and knowing you love me is enough, not forever, but for now."
Matt lay beside me, our legs entwined as we embraced each other. "Sarang Hanun Pomul, if I loved you any more I would have to be twins. And you're right. Today was one of the happiest days of my life, as was yesterday, as will be tomorrow for I know you love me as I love you and, regardless of what happens, nothing and no one can take away the happiness you give me. And you want to know a secret? I was scared to death of tonight. I so feared that our raging hormones would get the better of us, but the touch of your body, the fragrance of your hair, the kiss of your lips has had an amazing effect on me. Somehow or other what I feared would make me nothing more than a lust-filled horndog has made me just want to hold you and feel your body next to mine." Matt pulled my face to his for another long, tender kiss, his tongue finding its way into my mouth bringing to me the wonderful taste of Sarang Hanun Pomul. Holding each other we slowly drifted into dreamland where Sarang Hanun Pomul and Yonghon Tongmu lived happy ever after.
But I was to discover before I was ready for it that the real world is not the dreamworld' and that raging hormones have a way of their own. We had been asleep for about an hour when I felt something hot and sticky on my legs. "Holy shit," I exclaimed, "what the..." As soon as I was awake I knew exactly what it was. Matt had just ejaculated on me! "Matt! What the hell..."
"What's up, Luke?" Matt said, still half asleep.
"Man, I hope you just had a wet dream."
By this time Matt was awake. He looked at me, sitting up in bed, grinned and said " Did I ever, Hot Stuff, and you were the star."
"Well, you just shot cum all over your porno star!"
Matt laughed, then said, "Well, I guess we both better clean up and get another sheet."
After cleaning ourselves up and remaking the bed with the second clean sheet, we once again crawled in bed and kissed each other good night. Before I went back to sleep, Matt had turned his back to me and I spooned myself against him, my arm across his chest. Not an hour later I was awoken by Matt. "Ok, we're even now. I didn't have to ask what he was talking about, the sticky mess on him and me told the tale. Giggling like mad, we got up cleaned up and changed the sheets for the third time. After that, we slept arm in arm until Mom Greywolf called.
We tossed on clothes and went downstairs where breakfast was waiting. "Mom Greywolf...."
"Luke, you've never called me Mom Greywolf until yesterday and now this morning."
"Well, I guess I'm about as close to being a son-in-law as I'll ever be and calling you Mom Greywolf kinda makes that real for me."
"Well, I am honored, Son." I walked over to Mom Greywolf and gave her a big hug. It felt great!
Michael and Mary Kathryn walked into the kitchen as I released Mom Greywolf. Michael was wearing the robe Matt had given him and Mary Kathryn was dressed in the robe she wore last night. "Michael, that robe must have been meant for you," Yong Jin said, "it makes you even more handsome than usual."
"It makes him look good enough to eat," Mary Kathryn said as she gave him a kiss.
"Luke, you started to say something before I interrupted," Yong Jin said.
"Well, what I was going to say was that there're three sheets upstairs which need washing. You can blame Margaret for one of them, the one with the oil...."
"I don't want to know," she laughed.
"And I want you to know that the stains on the other two are the result of normal adolescence, not hanky panky. Matt and I both had wet dreams. Perfectly normal."
"Well, I see my lover cut straight to the chase as usual," Matt laughed.
"Since you're going to be washing sheets, Yong Jin, I guess you can throw the sleeping bag in as well," Michael said and blushed. And I thought this kid never blushed.
"Oh the joys of adolescence!" Greywolf exclaimed. "Matt, Luke, I have a confession to make. Yong Jin and I promised we would not invade your privacy and we intend to keep that promise, but this morning when she went upstairs to awaken you, you were so beautiful sleeping in each other's arms, Luke's golden curls resting on Matt's hair, she couldn't resist. She came back down and got me and the digital camera. I hope you two will treasure the picture forever as I intend to do." With those words he placed a picture on the table. Matt's hair covered both pillows, the cover was back revealing half our bodies and we were arm in arm, my head resting beside Matt's.
"Yea, thanks, Dad."
"Well, if we have all that out of the way, we better get breakfast so you three fellows can be out of here," Greywolf reminded us.
After breakfast, Michael said, "Look, if Mary Kathryn is going to St. Mary's, I think I'll just come later with her."
"Makes good sense to me," Matt said as he and I bounded upstairs and got dressed. When we got into Matt's Jeep and headed for town, neither of us said anything for awhile. "Why so quiet, Luke?" Matt asked.
"I'm not really sure. Why are you so quiet?"
"I'm not sure either. I think maybe it's because last night proved something to me and I'm kinda digesting it. You got to know that you really get me aroused and had it not been for you, there have been several times when I would have taken your body. Yet, I know that you want me just as bad as I want you, but it's mostly been you who has drawn the line. I'm not complaining, it's just something I was thinking about. And last night I THINK we both worked hard at staying within the boundaries we set for ourselves and I feel good about that. I guess I'm trying to digest the fact that even though everyone talks about how mature I am, you made me really grow up last night."
"I hadn't thought about that; I guess because it never occurred to me that you were anything but mature. I think I'm quiet because I have to make a decision that only I can make. I feel like a hypocrite going to Immaculate Conception this morning because I know that I cannot and will not accept the church's condemnation of our love. I would be willing to bet that there's not another nearly-eighteen-year old who will be at Mass who has his love condemned even if he and his girlfriend are fucking each other's brains out; even if they don't have any love for each other. Oh, there'd be a tsk tsk about their having sex outside marriage and using contraception but their love would not be condemned. And they could be married and make it all nice and legal and holy. But we cannot. In fact, the way I have lusted after your body, I'm already damned and I don't believe or accept a bit of it. My loving God loves me and you and our love, period. So I'll go, but it may well be my last time. And that's something else for Dad to go ballistic over."
"Slow and easy may be the way we're trying to handle sex, but Luke Babe, easy our love is not." We stopped at a stoplight and after making sure no other car was around, Matt leaned over and kissed me and said, "But Yonghon Tongmu, our love IS!"
After Matt dropped me off, I walked into Immaculate Conception and prayed God that Matt's love would sustain me through the next hour when I saw Fr. Muller approach the altar.
After Mass, Fr. Muller greeted me at the door with, "I'm pleased to see you are once more among the faithful, Luke."
"Thank you, Father. Mom and Dad are away this weekend and will be attending Mass at St. Peter's by the Lake. Have a good day, Father," I said, not wanting to get asked about Mary Kathryn.
The day was beautiful and spring was definitely in the air as I took my time walking to St. Mary's. When I arrived, I went into the church and saw the Greywolfs, David, Michael and Mary Kathryn sitting about halfway down the nave. Somehow or other I was not surprised to see Margaret sitting beside David. It was almost the whole family had finally gotten together on the one thing that had separated us, religion. As I joined them, Matt started the prelude. Somehow I had a feeling I was where I was supposed to be. After kneeling and offering a thanksgiving for the family and for Matt and his love, I sat back and listened to the prelude. It had a definite calming effect on me and, again, I felt I was home.
The service was not very much different from Immaculate Conception, but I guess it was the fact that I knew that Fr. Tom KNEW and had not condemn me or Matt that made it seem very personal.
When it came time to approach the altar for the Blessed Sacrament, I did not hesitate. I expected Michael and David and maybe Margaret to join the Greywolfs, but I was somewhat surprised to see Mary Kathryn go forward, even holding hands with Michael as she went.
After Mass, the Greywolfs introduced us to several people including Millie Willingham. "I hear you are an artist," she said. "There's too many technicians these days and not enough artists. I hope you're going to pursue art."
"I hope to be able to do so, Mrs. Willingham," I replied.
"Call me Millie, only people who are trying to get something out of me call me Mrs. Willingham. I'd like to see some of your work sometime."
"Well, Matt is doing a recital here at St. Mary's and we thought about doing the recital and an exhibition of my work since I have to do one this spring and a place has not been selected. We've got to talk to Fr. Tom soon about that."
"Consider it approved. Tom just thinks he's in charge around here!"
"Millie, has anyone ever defied you?" Greywolf laughed.
"Only those resting peacefully in the town cemetery. Actually, Matt had mentioned the possibility of a joint art exhibition and recital to Tom before church and Tom asked if I would organize the event, including a reception, so I know he's planning on it. Luke, how'd you and Matthew like to come by the house this afternoon so we can get the ball rolling for the cultural event of the century for Concord."
"Why, sure. If it's ok with Matt."
"It is. I have already spoken to him. See you about 4:30."
Sunday dinner immediately after church often found the family all together and today was no exception except my parents hadn't returned from the lake and probably wouldn't do so until late. "Well, how was your evening, David, Margaret?" I asked as soon as we were all seated. "Margaret, did you order everything on the menu?" The Gang of Four started laughing like mad. Margaret blushed.
"While it's none of your business, we covered only a couple things the menu had to offer," Margaret said, still blushing and laughing.
"What's this about a menu?" David asked.
"I'll tell you one of these days," Margaret said. David just looked puzzled. "How about you and Matt? Did you order everything on the menu?"
"Well, I think there were a few items left. By the way, Yong Jin will probably make you do a load of washing after dinner. Seems there were several sheets which had to be changed last night. One, strangely enough, had oil all over it." Matt was laughing like crazy.
"Well, if the outcome was what was hoped for, I'll be delighted to do the laundry, Yong Jin."
"You'll have to toss in a sleeping bag as well, I'm afraid," Yong Jin said and Michael blushed again!
Dinner conversation continued in a lighthearted way and we
were all enjoying ourselves tremendously. As desert was served, the conversation took a more serious turn as Michael and David, Mary Kathryn and I talked about our experience at St. Mary's. The Greywolfs were obviously pleased when one after another we said we felt like we were home. "Well, Luke, you have made a great ally in Millie Willingham. She can be a powerful enemy, but fortunately she is generally on the right side, frequently the minority one. And when she's wrong and proven wrong she'll not hesitate to admit it and try to set things right," Greywolf said.
"I spoke to Fr. Tom this morning about Luke and I having our recital and exhibition at St. Mary's and he was all for it. He asked Millie to make arrangements for everything, including a reception. I'll have to check the dates with Mr. Smith in so far as the recital is concerned. Luke, you can check with Mr. Stephenson tomorrow when you ask about making the exhibition your whole grade."
"Matt and Luke, I was looking over the Advanced Placement exam material Friday and meant to mention it earlier, but you can take an AP exam without having an AP course. I think the two of you should take another AP exam: Matt, you in music and Luke, you in studio art. Since you have to do the exhibition anyway Luke, it would not be difficult at all for you to put together the portfolio which is all the exam requires. It is due May 12," Yong Jin said. "There's no reason not to get as much mileage as you can out of your work, especially since you have to work so hard to get caught up. If you score high enough on any or all of the AP exams, not only can you skip introductory college course, but also will same the tuition costs for the courses you get to skip."
"Calculus, English, physics and your art. Man if you two pull that off, I don't care how late you are looking into other schools, they will take a serious look at you," David observed. "Michael, I guess you and Mary Kathryn will have to do some high stepping to keep up the family reputation next year. And, Michael, what's this about a sleeping bag that needs washing?"
"Ok, Dad, you know I am in love with Mary Kathryn and she with me, right?"
Both David and Mary Kathryn responded, "Right."
"Well, I know we're only fifteen and it may not last--I think it will-- but that's not too important right now. Anyway, we had a good time last night and after we went upstairs, we made out a little bit...."
"Both Matt and I exclaimed together, "A little bit?"
"Ok, a whole lot, but we didn't cross the line. I didn't want to interfere with whatever Matt and Luke had in mind, so I slept downstairs in a sleeping bag and the expected happened, that's all."
"Apparently there was a lot of that going around last night," David laughed.
The conversation soon drifted to other things and finally Margaret asked, "Luke, have you and Matt discussed what you are going to do tomorrow night when you talk with Gabrielle?"
"Not really. We were kinda busy last night, but I think we should. As a matter of fact, as soon as we get the dishes and kitchen cleaned up, I was going to suggest we go to the river and do that."
"Mary Kathryn and I'll take care of that. You two go on," Michael volunteered.
"And remember you have to be at Millie Willingham's about 4:30. You don't want to disappoint her," Yong Jin reminded us.
"Thanks, all of you. This morning was great and I really appreciate it. Thanks, Michael and Mary Kathryn, Matt and I owe you big time."
"Don't worry, Brother Mine, you will repay us big time."
"We'll come back in time to get dressed again in our Sunday best and be at Millie's by 4:30," Matt said. Matt and I had changed into shorts and a loose shirt when we got home from church and needed to change so we didn't have too long together before we would have to come back, but we did need to talk.
Once again we felt free to walk across the meadow arm in arm. "You know, Matt, sex is wonderful, I know it will be, but making love has got to include just walking across a meadow arm in arm."
"Especially when you can grab a kiss from time to time," he grinned as his lips touched mine and his tongue entered my mouth. Man, why can't someone come up with something that tastes as good as my Sarang Hanun Pomul? As we continued walking my fingers found the bands holding Matt's hair and I set it free. I felt like setting Matt's hair free made me feel free as well.
When we reached the path to the falls, Matt crossed the canes and we walked in and sat on the sand in the sun. "Matt, how do we go about telling Mom about us? There's no way to kinda ease her into what has to be something she wishes weren't true. Even Yong Jin and Greywolf really wish it weren't true and they certainly accept and love us and accept and respect our love."
We talked about that for a long time until finally Matt said, "But if she knows already or just suspects, then it's not going to be a real surprise other than the fact that we confirm what she suspects or knows. She knows that sooner or later you are going to have to discuss why you attempted suicide so maybe that's where we start. Maybe you tell her tomorrow morning that we'd like to talk with her tomorrow night and when we do, start by letting her read your suicide note."
"Do you still have it?"
"Always. It's in my wallet."
"Because... I really don't know why. I guess because it's a kind of symbol of the beginning of OUR love. You know what I mean?"
"Yea. Ok, so I'll tell her in the morning that you and I would like to talk with her tomorrow night and after she reads the note, we'll let her take the lead.
Somehow or other, I'm not frightened about talking to Mom. I know she will not approve, she may not accept, but I am sure she will not reject either of us. Dad is another situation."
"I know it won't do any good to say it, but try not to worry about that until we have talked with Gabrielle, ok?"
"Ok, I'll try, but I don't expect to be successful."
"I don't think so. I mean there's not a lot we can do once Mom reads the letter except follow her lead. If I'm wrong and she orders me out of the house I'll have to go, but David says I have a home there."
"You know you have one at our place as well."
"Sure, but I don't think that would be a very good idea right now. We both have a huge job ahead of us finishing out the school year and, Babe, you are a major distraction."
"Well, fortunately I can control myself and could handle any distraction you had to offer."
"We'll see about that," I said as I pushed Matt back and climbed atop him. I started kissing him for all I was worth, ran my hands under his shirt and pinched a nipple. He promptly grabbed me, rolled me over and was atop my body in no time. He had a definite advantage because as soon as that hair fell around my face, I was his and he knew it.
Our kisses became more and more passionate. Our hands were enjoying the thrill of bare skin as we ran them up and down the other's body. "I may not distract you Matthew Sarang Hanun Pomul Greywolf, but I think Chili Pepper is not at all interested in school or anything except me," I laughed when it became very obvious that Matt was hard as a rock as he lay on top of me.
"I guess I'm not the man of steel I thought I was," Matt whimpered.
"I don't know whether you're a man of steel or not, but a part of you must be!" I laughed. "But enough of this serious stuff. We've got to go attend to the frivolous stuff of our future." Reluctantly we again left the river and crossed the meadow to the Greywolfs'.
After we had changed, we hopped into Matt's Jeep and went back into town to Millie Willingham's. She lived in one of the old magnificent houses which was still the section of town where everyone who was anyone lived. My Dad actually worked for Millie although I suspect he never thought about it. Among the many businesses she owned was THE accounting firm for the whole area and Dad was the senior accountant for it, but I doubted very seriously that she knew him and much less me.
When we arrived, Millie met us at the door just as her big grandfather hall clock struck the half hour. "I didn't think young people these days had enough respect or sense of responsibility to be on time for an appointment with an old lady. I know it might seen a bit early, but I'm having a glass of sherry. Would you like a soft drink or some fruit juice or something, Luke? I know Matt will have a coke."
"Coke would be fine for me as well."
When she came back, she handed each of us a glass of coke and said, "So you're an artist, Mr. Larsen. It kinda surprises me that Jens Larsen would have a son who is an artist. Not that there's anything wrong with Jens or being an accountant, but having an artist son must be a surprise to him."
"I'm sure it is, Millie, but you also need to know that Luke is an honors student and is taking AP physics, AP English, and AP calculus this year," Matt said. "And Mom wants him to take the AP art exam as well.
"Two Greywolf classes both of you, right?" I'm surprised you're alive. As a matter of fact, Fr. Tom told me earlier, Luke, that you had postponed your exhibition because you almost weren't alive. Tried suicide, I understand. Care to tell me why? Not that it's any of my business."
Matt looked at me and I looked at him and for some reason I just blurted out, "Because I was in love with Matt Greywolf and was afraid what happened to Gregory would happen to him and I loved him so much but was afraid to tell him...." It just all came pouring out.
"Well, Luke, you couldn't have picked a better man to love than Matt. Matt, where do you stand in this?"
I wondered what Matt would say. Would he admit we were in love?
"Millie, I have loved Luke Larsen as long as I can remember and was afraid to tell him. When he dived off the falls, he left a note to me and, well, I expect to spend the rest of my life with Luke."
"Wonderful! I hope you two are as happy as my son and his companion who have been together 10 years and are still just as much in love as the first time I saw them. But I hope you don't just tell everyone the way you told this old lady. Life is rough for gay men and women, but if you're in love, you're in love. Now, about this cultural event." We talked about what we had thought about doing and Millie said, since it wasn't until May 21, there was time to get everything in order. She would take care of publicity, a reception, overseeing the printed program for the recital and catalog for the exhibition. "Anything you need, call me or Gertie. Men, I plan to have this event put Concord on the map. Don't be surprised at anything, just get the music and art in order and watch! Matt, Luke, do your parents know about you two?"
I answered, "The Greywolfs and David and Michael Andrews know. Fr. Tom and Gertie, Dr. Walker and Dr. Bailey and Gladys and Chelsea in ICU at the hospital know. My parents do not. We have reason to believe that Mom knows or suspects and Matt and I will talk to her tomorrow night...."
"Smart move because your dad will be in Jackson for a couple days." And I thought this lady didn't know us.
"What Mom says will determine when and how we tell Dad. That I am afraid of."
"Rightly so, I suspect, but if he kicks you out, you can always come live with this old woman."
After expressing our thanks, Matt and I drove home. On the way I asked Matt, "Why do you think I just blurted out that we were lovers? I don't understand it."
"I guess for the same reason I confessed to her that I stole a piece of chewing gum from her purse when I was six. Somehow or other you just don't fool around with Millie Willingham.