Castle Roland

A Special Place

by Sequoyah


Chapter 30

Posted: N/A

A Special Place--Part Thirty--Luke

I left Matt's place and walked home slowly, thinking about all that had happened since that day I had dived off the falls, only half conscious because of the sleeping pills. So very much had been packed into a little over two months and there was so much to be crammed in the coming months. When I got home, Mom, Dad and Mary Kathryn were about half-finished with lunch. Mom quickly prepared a place for me and all three bombarded me with questions as I tried to eat. I finally was able to tell them all my pieces for the exhibition were complete and the photography done. "Mr. Stephenson is developing the negatives and making the prints himself so they will be exactly right. I still have to complete writing the catalog and getting Yong Jin to check it. Millie wants it as soon as possible since it will be in full color, on special paper and custom bound. I thought I might work on it tonight, but Uncle Michael is taking Mr. Stephenson, Matt and me to Lexington for dinner tonight and a movie or something afterward. That is ok, isn't it?"

"Not only is it ok, but I'm glad you are doing it," Mom said. "I have been worried about you lately because I know you are not getting enough rest or eating right."

"I agree with your mom," Dad said. "But I do wish we saw more of you. I know you have been working late a lot, but we seldom see you."

"I'm not going to be so busy the next couple weeks. Of course, there is only a week before AP exams and they take a good part of two weeks. When they are over, I'll have to set right to work getting the exhibition set up. Uncle Michael is going to help with that and any other willing hands will be welcome. I just don't have a lot of time these days and when I do..." I started to say I spend it with Matt, but decided not to.

"You spend it with Matt," Dad finished for me.

"Yes, I do."

"Luke, I have really been giving a lot of thought to your relationship with Matt."

"Uh oh," I thought, "I have barely seen my family in a couple weeks and now I'm going to get the lecture."

"I still don't understand it. I know the Church's position and that still doesn't make sense to me, but I do know Matt Greywolf and Luke Larsen. I know that if they say they love each other, they do. If it was just a fad or phase, there has been enough happen to made a half-wit rethink such a choice, if it were a choice. I have come to the point where I wish it wasn't the way it is and, as I said, I don't understand it but, to tell the truth, I don't understand my relationship with your mother either. I mean I can't explain it and would be a fool to try. I guess... Hell, Luke, what I am trying to say is that I'd like to see you around more and I know that if Matt were your mom, I'd be in his bed every night--well, that's not what I mean..."

Dad was clearly struggling to say something and was having a hard time. I wanted to say, "Spit it out, Dad," but just waited.

"Damn it, Luke, if you love Matt Greywolf and he loves you, you are both welcome in this house."

"I know that, Dad." It began to dawn on me where Dad was headed, but I wanted to hear him say the words.

"Well, that's not what I mean. You and Matt still not...?" Dad stammered to a stop and blushed as big as Matt would have.

"Having sex?" I finally said after it was obvious Dad wasn't going to get it out. Dad nodded. "I guess I'd have to know what you mean by having sex. We are not having intercourse, if that's what you mean. Other than that, do you want details?" I glanced at Mary Kathryn who was about to pop laughing and when I looked at Mom, she was certainly enjoying Dad's discomfort.

"No! No, no details. You told me what I wanted to know. And you're holding to your eighteenth birthday promise?"

"With great difficulty. It is very hard." I gave a sideways glance at Dad to see his reaction.

Dad burst out laughing and said, "I certainly imagine it is! Both of them!"

"Dad, what do you think we are?"

"Two horny almost-eighteen-year-old males. I have been there. Ok, Luke, what I have been trying to say is that Matt is welcome in this house and so long as it is ok with you, he is welcome to share your bed. Damn, that was hard to get out."

I grabbed Dad and hugged him tightly and said, "Dad, sex aside--as much as a horny almost-eighteen-year-old can put sex aside, thanks for accepting what I know is hard for you. I know that you wish things were different, but thanks for accepting me and my love and the man I love more than anything else in this world."

"Does the same rule apply to me and Mich..."

"Only if you want him hanged, drawn and quartered, young lady," Dad said and I knew he was only half-joking!

With the question of my sleeping with Matt in my house out of the way, the four of us sat around the lunch table for another hour talking about all that had gone on and what was ahead of us. "I guess next week's big news will be the trial of Orie and his gang," Mary Kathryn said.

"I understand that the other three are unlikely to go to trial for a while. They are in the state hospital for ninety days observation and evaluation, and will probably be sent to a treatment center rather than prison. Rumors around town are that the real bombshell will hit when the facts come out about Rev. McBride," Mom said.

We talked a while longer, then I helped Mary Kathryn clear the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher. That done, I joined Dad and we did a few odd jobs around the farm--something I hadn't done for awhile. As we worked, we talked and joked around, more than we had ever done before he had found out I was gay. But the matter of my sleeping with Matt and my relationship with Matt had been settled--for him and, I thought, for me--the "books balanced and closed" and was, therefore, not mentioned. I had always known Dad loved me, but now he made efforts to show it and I appreciated it and let him know that. While the jobs we were doing weren't hard work, the day was pretty warm and the jobs messy so, about 5:00, Dad said, "Luke, if you are going to be presentable for a dinner date, you had better knock off and take a shower. I'm sure you stink!"

I went to the house, showered, shaved again--the whole nine yards--and then came the problem of what to wear. Two months ago the answer would have been easy: the first shirt and pants I found, but now... less casual than school, more casual than a tie. I looked in my closet and found a green--Mom called it teal--silk shirt which did strange things to my eyes--they looked a very different color blue--and a pair of slacks the same color, but much darker. When I put them on and looked in the mirror, I was pleased. I also loved my hair. I was surprised Dad hadn't said something about its length--it was no longer fashionable to have long hair and he was happy "long hair is finally out," but I liked it. It looked almost like a 60s Afro except it was pale, pale blond. As I was buttoning my shirt, my medallion fell out and I thought, "Tonight I don't have to hide anything!" and left it out. It went well with the color of my shirt. I looked in the mirror again and thought, "Damn, man, Matt has a hunk on his hands! YES!"

When I got downstairs, Dad had come in and Mom, Dad and Mary Kathryn all gave me a once over. Dad said, "Son, you are a handsome young man. I am proud of you."

Mom gave me a kiss and said, "Luke, you are just plain beautiful".

Mary Kathryn stuck a finger to my butt, made a sizzling noise and said, "Damn, what a hot stud! My how the women will weep."

I guess I had been hanging around Matt too long. Old cool and collected Luke blushed big time! I gave all three a kiss on the cheek and said, "Don't wait up for me."

"Remember, you and Matt are welcome here," Dad said and Mom nodded agreement.

I kissed both again and said, "Thanks from the bottom of my heart for me and Matt. Laters."

I walked down the road to Matt's and found myself whistling "More." I was one happy camper!

A Special Place--Part Thirty--Matt

After Luke left, Dad and I did work around the house that had been neglected since we had both been busy. As we worked, I told him the story of Mr. Stephenson and Uncle Michael. We also talked about the upcoming trial of Orie and his crew, speculated about what would happen to Jake and the two others who were still undergoing observation and evaluation at the state mental hospital. "I suspect there is going to be a real rotten mess revealed when Rev. McBride comes to trial," Dad observed. "Wonder how Joyce will handle that?"

We also talked about the upcoming AP exams. I told Dad I felt I was pretty well prepared, but knew it was going to be a hard two weeks. "You do recall you are excused from school after you finish a day's exam? I urge you to take full advantage of that. Just relax and enjoy yourself or, at least, don't start trying to cram for the next exam. That just defeats your purpose."

We had finished several small tasks and tackled the big one--cleaning a stable. When we finished Dad said, "Matt, it's five. I think you better get ready for your big date." I hugged Dad and when I did he said, "And be sure to shower twice! You're sweaty as a mule and smell worse!"

I had a leisurely shower, enjoying the warm water on muscles which had not been used for some time until today. I went to my room wishing Luke was there to brush and dry my hair, but I had to manage. Then I had to decide what to wear. I started looking at shirts, trying to find a turtleneck to cover the mark left by one Mr. Luke Larsen, but wasn't satisfied with any. As I bent over, looking in a chest drawer, my hair kept falling in my face and that gave me an inspiration! I opened a small box which Mom had brought from Korea, in which I kept very special things, and found what I was looking for. I put them on the bed, then got dressed--off-white, actually light buckskin-colored, slacks and a very special shirt I had worn very few times. When I looked in the mirror, I liked what I saw and when I noticed my medallion--the shirt didn't button, but slipped over my head and had a pretty low cut neckline--I pulled it outside. Tonight I was not going to hide.

When Luke arrived, I met him downstairs. He was absolutely gorgeous! I wanted to climb his bod right there in the living room, but satisfied myself with just drinking in his beauty and kissing him passionately. As I finished the kiss, Mom and Dad came in to greet Luke, and both stopped and looked at me. "Thank you," Dad said.

"You are a beautiful Lakota Korean, my man child," Mom said. "And Luke, he had to go all out to come close to being as handsome--and beautiful--as you are."

"You certainly are a handsome young man, Luke. And, I would add, just as handsome on the inside," Dad said.

A Special Place--Part Thirty--Luke

When I arrived at Matt's, I was thunderstruck. Matt was dressed in buckskin-colored slacks and was wearing a ribbon shirt. His dad had bought it for him when they had gone to a pow wow last year. Cherokee, the shirt was a pull-over with a low cut front opening which gave an inviting glimpse of Matt's hard upper chest. The sleeves, collar and back and front shoulders were decorated with bands of ribbon. Streamers of ribbon hung from the tops of the sleeves and the front and back shoulder yokes. In spite of Matt being dark, Greywolf had chosen a black shirt with blood red ribbons. He told Matt red and black were the colors of a warrior and said, "Matt, I expect you to wear it with honor and remember, whether you are wearing it or not, you are to be a true warrior--one who fights against injustice and for the right regardless where you are or what you are wearing." Matt had a beadwork head band of red and black holding his hair in place. The hickey I had given him was covered by a wide choker of white bone, red and black beads on black leather thongs, with a wolf's head carved from bone at the front. It, also, was a gift from his dad. The medicine man who had prepared Greywolf for his vision quest had given it to him and Greywolf gave it to Matt on his sixteenth birthday. Standing before me was a noble Lakota warrior as I had imagined him to be--well, except for the Cherokee shirt.

"Do you think this is not as casual as school..."

"There's certainly no question about that, Dark Angel," I said, still in awe of my Matt. "Maybe less casual than a tie, but that choker--I don't know. Damn you are beautiful and handsome and powerful and awesome and I love you madly, Matthew Sarang Hanun Pomul Greywolf." Matt just gave me a wide grin, grabbed me and gave me a full, open mouth, tongue-sucking kiss. Before things could get completely out of hand, the doorbell rang.

Greywolf opened the door and Uncle Michael and Mr. Stephenson came in. Greywolf said, "I don't know whether you dare be seen with these two tonight or not," as they came into the living room. When Uncle Michael and Mr. Stephenson saw Matt and me, both whistled. Then Mr. Stephenson said, "Matt, I can see how you ins... might inspire someone dressed as you are. Sorry you never come to school showing your--What, Greywolf?--heritage."

"Lakota on my side. But he's wearing a Cherokee shirt. I guess that's ok," Greywolf laughed. "And he'll have to be Korean next time or Yong Jin will have both our heads!"

"You both are wearing exquisite medallions. They look identical," Uncle Michael said.

"Thanks. They are slightly different and have a story behind them," I said. "I'll tell you about them on the way to Lexington."

We said goodbye to the Greywolfs and left for Lexington. Uncle Michael drove a Lexus which was loaded. As soon as we were on our way, I told the story of the medallions. "And you promised to wait until you're eighteen before you--we used to call it--go all the way?"

"It's really a promise to ourselves. No-one else has asked us to promise. Greywolf just said he wished we would. "Damn, Matt, in all the excitement of being attacked by a Lakota warrior, I forgot a very important bit of news. Dad told me this afternoon that you were welcome in our house..."

"Aside from one night, when was that not true?"

"Let me finish. And in my bed." Matt once again became an attacking Lakota warrior, kissing me like mad. "But, well, it was hard for him to get it out. But he did say it."

"You mean it's ok for you two to sleep together? What about this no sex promise?" Mr. Stephenson asked.

"Both are true, not that it's easy, in fact it's very hard..."

"I bet!" he laughed.

We chatted a while longer then Uncle Michael said, "Michael gave me a tape and said I should play it on the way over to get you two in the mood for a great evening." He slipped a cassette into his tape player and--you know--"More than the greatest love the world has known..." poured from a fantastic sound system.

When we arrived in Lexington, Mr. Stephenson directed Uncle Michael to THE hotel in town where the valet parking attendants just about broke their necks trying to be the one to park the Lexus. Once inside, Mr. Stephenson directed us to one of the several restaurants there. When he gave his name, we were immediately shown to a great table. When Nelson, our waiter, came for orders, Uncle Michael ordered two Bloody Marys and two Virgin Marys. "Will bring you back for a serious drink in a little over three years," he smiled. When Nelson came with the drinks he said, "I hope you won't think I am being too forward, but aren't you two guys from Independence High School in Concord?"

"Yes, we are. I'm Luke Larsen and this warrior is Matthew Greywolf. Mr. Stephenson is my art teacher and this is Michael Sanders, our uncle."

"I am pleased to you meet all of you. I'm obviously Nelson, Nelson Barber. I'm a student at the community college here. I thought I recognized you two guys from the TV broadcast of the service. Matthew, I hope you don't mind, but you are going to be mobbed when you leave. There's a girl's sorority having a banquet upstairs and the word is out that a movie star is having dinner here and they are all atwitter."

"I guess it's just the price you have to pay for being sexy, Matt," I laughed.

"I guess I need to take your order if you are ready," Nelson said.

"I'll do the ordering," Uncle Michael said and started giving the order to Nelson. He ordered a five-course dinner and I hoped I would like it because most of what he said was in French. "I'm sure some of the food will be new to you, but I believe people should explore food the way they explore other things."

Much of the food was new, but all was delicious. I'm sure I might not have eaten some of it had I known what it was, but it was food and it was good! When Nelson came back with coffee and dessert, Uncle Michael asked him for a suggestion for the rest of the evening. He hesitated for a moment, then suggested a couple of movies. "Of course, there are clubs, but I'm not sure two of you would enjoy what the other two would enjoy... I mean, I'm sure the music Matthew and Luke would enjoy would be noise to you, Mr. Stephenson and Mr. Sanders."

"Isn't there some place where these two old men could be sure these two young men enjoy their first real date?" Uncle Michael smiled. Matt, of course, blushed big time and I'll admit I did a pretty good job blushing myself. When I looked at Nelson, I noticed he was also blushing!

"What is this? A blushing contest?" Uncle Michael laughed.

"Actually, I was going to suggest a place, but wasn't sure I should. After the service was broadcast, several of us at the college investigated the events which brought it about and decided we didn't want anything like that to happen here so we organized a group against intolerance--gay and straight, young and old--and started a place for young couples--as young as 14 with permission or accompanied by an adult--to 20. Actually, that's the age group the club serves. It welcomes older people who are interested in seeing that kids have a safe place to enjoy themselves so long as they are accompanied by kids. No unescorted adults hanging around. Police patrol the club and adults make sure there is no chicken hawking going on. What has surprised me is the number of straight couples who show up. It's a fun, safe place. In fact, I'm meeting my girl there after work. I helped get it started because my gay brother was harassed in high school, and so badly beaten by some classmates in his senior year that he had to spend time in the hospital."

"Then you're not gay?" Matt asked.

"No, afraid not, but if I were, Luke would have a run for his money!"

"Does this sound like some place you'd like to go?" Uncle Michael asked.

"Yes. It would be great to be with Matt without worrying about what people will think or do. But what about you and Mr. Stephenson?"

"I'm sure we'll enjoy watching kids have fun and we have a lot of catching up to do," Uncle Michael answered. "Can you give us directions?" he asked Nelson. Nelson drew a map for Uncle Michael, picked up the credit card slip Uncle Michael signed, thanked us and walked away. I saw him look at the credit card slip and whistle. I guess Uncle Michael had been very generous.

When we reached the lobby of the hotel, Matt was attacked by screaming girls--it seemed like hundreds. All were trying to shove something in his face for his autograph. Matt looked bewildered. "Mr. Greywolf will sign autographs if you will get control of yourselves, ladies," I said, turned to Matt and said, "Mr. Greywolf, you are willing to sign some autographs aren't you?" Matt nodded, still somewhat bewildered. "Ladies, if you will just form a queue--a line--so Mr. Greywolf can get to as many of you as he can. Otherwise I'm afraid we'll have to go. And stop the screaming. Mr. Greywolf finds it unladylike." I was having a blast. The girls got relatively quiet and I took what they offered and Matt signed "Always, Greywolf" on each. Soon he was having a blast as well. Mr. Stephenson and Uncle Michael had just given up, found a seat to the side and were laughing up a storm.

After Matt had given at least fifty autographs, Uncle Michael walked over and said, " Mr. Greywolf, I have just been informed the car is waiting."

"Thank you, Michael," Matt said very seriously. "I am very sorry ladies, but I have a car waiting for me so I have to run. It was good seeing all of you." The girls started rushing forward and Mr. Stephenson, Uncle Michael and I formed a shield around Matt until the hotel security finally was able to give us a clear path to the car. Once we were inside the car, all four of us started laughing so hard we were crying.

With Mr. Stephenson navigating and Uncle Michael driving, we had no difficulty finding the strip shopping center which had, obviously, seen better days but which was now a place for youth. A skating rink was at one end and a dance floor at the other. A snack bar, bistro and game room occupied the space between the two. A single entrance led to a hall running the length of the connected buildings. There was no way in except through the single entrance where two security guards were posted. While they waved me and Matt through, they stopped Mr. Stephenson and Uncle Michael until Matt and I vouched for them. The guards were very polite, but made it very clear that "unescorted adults" were not allowed. When we got inside, Matt said, "Luke, I want to dance and dance and dance with you. I want to make up for the prom." We walked to the dance floor and Uncle Michael and Mr. Stephenson found seats at a table overlooking it and Matt and I started dancing. The music was wild and we danced with abandon. After a couple of wild dances, a slow dance came up and I took Matt in my arms, held him close and looked into his wonderful dark eyes as we slow danced together in a public place for the first time.

About 10:30 the jukebox was turned off and a young guy took over as DJ. He opened by saying, "If you can dance to it, I have it. If I don't, free burger, fries and drink for you and your date!"

Matt got a huge smile on his face and asked, "Which would you like better, the song or the burger?"

"I'll take the song." Matt walked over to the DJ and said something to him. Then I saw him put a bill in the tip jar. He came back, put his arms around me and kissed me--in public!!--and no-one seemed to notice or care.

"For the Lakota warrior and his date--here's 'More!' and I'm asked to say, 'Luke, this is the way the king should have danced'!" The song started and we danced, holding each other tight, lips pressed together. I could feel Matt's hard body against mine, the muscles in his back moving under my hands and his hands on my butt as we danced. When the song ended, we went over to the table where Uncle Michael and Mr. Stephenson were seated. "You are a beautiful couple," Mr. Stephenson said, "and you dance well together."

Just as we started to sit down, I heard someone say, "Well, if it isn't the teen idol, Greywolf!" I looked over and saw Nelson walking in with a gorgeous young woman. They came over to us and he introduced us to his girlfriend, Holly. He told her how Matt had been mobbed and then how we had played it off in all seriousness. We were all laughing. "Care to join us?" Uncle Michael asked. Nelson nodded and soon all six were enjoying ourselves just talking and joking around.

Suddenly there was a squeal and a flock of girls descended upon our table followed by a guy with a mike and a TV cameraman. Matt actually looked terrified--I mean I can't blame him, he was under attack by fifteen or twenty screaming teenaged girls. Uncle Michael, Mr. Stephenson and I stood up, placing ourselves between Matt and the girls. "Ladies, ladies," Uncle Michael shouted over the noise. "Mr. Greywolf is here for a pleasant evening. You are being very unladylike and Mr. Greywolf does not like aggressive women! Now please calm down."

One of the guards walked up and said, "Young ladies, unless you can calm yourselves and stop annoying these people, I will have to ask you to leave. And you, young man with the camera, are to leave at once. We do not permit cameras of any kind here." The cameraman turned on the camera's lights and the guard placed his hand over the lens and said, "I TOLD you that was not permitted," as he took the cameraman by the arm. "If you insist, I will arrest you. Believe me, I have that authority. Now leave!" The TV people left and the guard said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Greywolf. I apologize. I don't know how the TV people got in, but I will call the chief and see that no pictures of you will be broadcast. That would severely damage what we are trying to do here."

"Thank you very much. It would not be good for either your place or my group were pictures broadcast. Now if you could get the young ladies under control, I'll be happy to sign autographs," Matt said, sounding very serious. Nelson, Holly and the Concord bunch were having a hard time not laughing. I got up and, again, started taking whatever the girls handed me and passing them to Matt. He signed away and generally managed to keep a straight face, but when I handed him a bra and then a pair of panties, he just about lost it, turning aside to get control of a laugh.

When Matt finished, he turned to me and said, "Last dance?" I felt a grin spread across my face. This was bound to cause an uproar among Greywolf's fan club. When we walked out on the floor, the DJ looked over, gave us a big wink and a wicked smile. As we reached the middle of the floor, people who had been around all evening saw what was coming and moved to the sides of the floor. "More" started and Matt wrapped his arms around me and as we started dancing, as he raised his lips to mine, he had to stop until he could control his laughter. When he had regained control, he gave me an all out, no holds barred, open mouth, tongue-sucking kiss. And held it as we danced. I cannot imagine a more erotic dance--hard bodies pressed close together, lips locked, tongues awhirl and sloooow dancing. It was hot! When "More" ended, I looked into Matt's eyes and said, "Matt, that's the way it should have been at the prom. My arms were absolutely aching to hold you close to me, to feel your hard body next to mine, to kiss you while we danced. Matt, I wanted to be dancing with my king, not the prom queen. I love you, man, and..."

The DJ started another slow song and I looked at Matt. He smiled, pulled me to himself and said, "This is way it should have been, but wasn't. But then was then and now is now. He kissed me again as our bodies moved together. It was erotic as hell and Matt's hard chest rubbing against mine was making me super hot. "Sarang Hanun Pomul, I love you more than anything in this world," I whispered in his ear. His chest was not the only hardness I felt pressed against mine! Matt looked into my eyes again and smiled just as Holly cut in.

When I turned to walk off the floor, Nelson grabbed me and we started dancing. He was dying laughing and when he swung me around, I could see why. Holly was kissing Matt! "Now watch what happens," he laughed. I was soon aware of what was up. Girls lined up and were taking turns dancing with Matt. He was handling it well, except he had a hard time not getting kissed on the mouth.

Finally, Nelson said, "You need to rescue your boyfriend. Think he is up to one more dance?" I nodded and walked over and cut in just as "More" started for the third time.

Matt wrapped himself around me and again, kissed me, but this time it was an easy, soft, tender, loving Matt kiss. When we broke our kiss, Matt looked over my shoulder and said, "This is definitely the last dance, Yonghon Tongmu, it's after midnight. I'm afraid I have to be at St. Mary's in the morning."

I looked into his eyes, smiled and said, "And tonight you sleep in my bed, Sarang Hanun Pomul!" The song ended and we walked off the floor. All the way home we all four kept laughing about Matt being a teen idol. "I just hope that TV guy didn't get any tape. I would never live down the 'teen idol' bit."

When we reached our place, Matt and I got out. It was almost 2 in the morning as we climbed the stairs to my room. We undressed, Matt carefully putting his head band and choker in the drawer of my chest which was his. We brushed our teeth, took a piss and climbed into bed. "Luke, the door is closed," Matt said.


"I believe we agreed the same rules here as at my place."

" Guess you're right," I said, reluctantly.

"You know I'm right," Matt said, and smiled at me, "but we didn't say how wide open." I opened the door a crack and climbed back into bed. I wrapped my arms around Matt and he his around me and we started kissing each other deeply, but something was wrong. It just didn't feel right. I didn't feel right. Before I could say anything, Matt said, "Luke, I know Jens said it was all right for me to sleep with you. At least my head knows that, but I don't think it has told the rest of me. I don't feel right. I feel like I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing, something wrong. Luke," Matt stopped and I could feel hot tears falling from his face, "Luke, I feel like what we are doing is dirty". By this time he was crying in great sobs. I held Matt tightly and started rocking him in my arms as he buried his head in the crook of my neck.

"Matt, I don't feel right either. I guess we just assumed that Dad could say, 'It's now ok, boys,' and we could be as much at ease here as in your bed, but it's not working that way. You're right; my mind knows that Dad has said it's ok and means it, but my emotions are stronger and I keep seeing him hit you. I know he has been forgiven by both of us. I know he has changed, but my emotions haven't caught up with my thoughts."

"Yea. So you do understand?"

"Perfectly, Sarang Hanun Pomul, we'll just hold each other as we have for years and know that our emotions have gotten the better of us tonight--but it was a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful night even if we had gone to separate beds!" Matt kissed me gently and we held each other, legs entwined, and were soon asleep.

"Ok, Mr. Teen Idol, get your butt out of bed. We have two hundred screaming girls in the front yard wanting your bod," Mary Kathryn announced at the top of her lungs as she pushed open the door.

"What the hell? What's that all about, sister mine?"

"You don't recall having a night on the town in Lexington with the latest teen idol Greywolf? Boy, you guys must have really gotten it on last night."

"Actually, we didn't. To be honest, Mary Kathryn we did the same thing in this bed we have done for years--well, except for a couple of very innocent kisses and we certainly got home early." Matt said.

Mary Kathryn started laughing then I guess she saw the look on our faces and stopped and said, "Yea, well it was early--early in the morning. But tell me about this teen idol bit."

"We don't know what you are talking about," I said.

"You know that Curtis jerk who does the 'Teen Beat' thing on the Sunday morning news? Well, this morning he had this great story which was uncovered by 'this reporter' about a visit to Lexington by the latest teen idol Greywolf and his entourage. 'This idol was seen at an expensive restaurant with a huge entourage and later, I have learned, was seen dancing with a Lexington beauty queen, who it is rumored will co-star in his next picture.' Mary Kathryn then continued in a Curtis the Jerk self-important voice, 'This reporter was prevented from getting tape of Greywolf, but is here to report that Lexington was probably successful in its drive to have Greywolf's next smash movie made here.'" Then she asked, "Just what went on last night?"

Matt and I were both laughing so hard tears were running down our faces and something else was going to be running if we didn't get out of bed in a hurry. Since Mary Kathryn made no move to leave, we just rushed past her to the bathroom. "After we brush our teeth, we'll come down and tell the whole story," I called from the bathroom.

When we got downstairs, Mom had breakfast ready and we sat down and, before we could eat, had to tell the tale of last night. Before we finished, Mom, Dad and Mary Kathryn were all laughing so hard they were crying. "Now if you would be so kind," I said in my Greywolf entourage voice, "Mr. Greywolf would like breakfast".

When we finished breakfast, Matt said, "I guess I better get home before Mom and Dad start wondering about this teen idol bit. Why don't you come with me, Luke, since I've got to get a rush on or I'll be late for choir warmup."

"Is it that late?" I asked, then realized what Matt was up to. "Man, I guess it is. Want to get your things and we'll run?"

We went upstairs and Matt got what he had worn last night--we had just tossed on shorts and T-shirts when we got up--and we said goodbye to Mom and Dad and left.

A Special Place--Part Thirty--Matt

Sure enough, when we reached my place, Dad called from the kitchen, "Is that the newest teen idol I see coming in our house, Yong Jin?" Luke and I sat down in the kitchen and told the story over again. "You know every single student at Independence will know about this tomorrow morning, don't you?" Dad laughed.

"Yes and I think I'll start taking names of those who want to be in Mr. Greywolf's next smash hit," Luke laughed.

"People, it's not funny," I said.

"May as well find it funny," Mom said, "there will be no escaping it".

"Well, right now we need to get a shower and get dressed," I said.

"Getting a real early start aren't you?" Mom asked.

"Kinda," I looked at Luke and said, "Dad, I think maybe Luke and I need to talk with you".

"Let's go to the library," Dad said, being very serious. I was afraid he might not be and I was really needing to talk with him.

"Ok, Luke?" I looked at my love and saw pain in his eyes as I knew there was in mine. He nodded.

When we got to the library, Luke and I both spilled out what had happened last night when we started to make love--no, NOT have sex, make love. When we had finished Dad asked, "What do you think was going on?" Luke answered as he had last night about our emotions not having gotten the word from our brain. "Well put, Luke. Don't think anyone could explain it better. I'm sure there was some hesitation when you first started expressing your love here..." We both nodded. "And here there was little question you and your love were accepted and you were expected to express it." Again we nodded. "Luke, I need not remind you that was not true at your place. It has taken this long for the two of you to even feel free to share Luke's bed, so there is a great deal of emotional baggage to overcome."

"There is nothing wrong with you; there is nothing to be ashamed or afraid of. As a matter of fact, I can identify with your situation completely. After Yong Jin and I were married we were never able to have sex at her Mom's. There was such a prejudice against Americans, and especially American soldiers, that it was made very clear that I better not touch Yong Jin before we were married. And after we were married, when we were there, that was still very much present in my mind and I simply couldn't--well, maybe you know, maybe you don't, but a limp noodle is not an effective tool," Dad said and blushed.

"Dad blushed! It's catching!"

"Well, Matt, I know you think you are special, and you are, but you got here just like the rest of us mortals. Sons, I'd worry very much about you thinking what you were doing was wrong and especially dirty, it's not. In fact, I think you have maintained a level of purity which, frankly, I would have never thought possible. But since you are very clear on why you had those feelings, you can work on them together. And maybe you'll never be able to do more in showing your love in bed at Luke's place than you did last night, but you needn't worry about that. I'm sure you'll find other places--you have found other places--as Yong Jin and I did, obviously--since you're here, Matthew Sarang Hanun Pomul Greywolf! You'll just have to take it..."

"I know, slow and easy," Luke and I said together, then laughed. "Thanks, Dad," we both said. We then went upstairs, had a great time in the shower, got dressed and left for St. Mary's--not early. I said we had a great time in the shower!

After church, Sunday dinner was at David's and Margaret's. Uncle Michael had invited Mr. Stephenson and when Michael started to pull the teen idol bit, the two of them took over and told the story. I'll admit, it was a howl hearing the two of them talk about the screaming females and how Luke had pulled off "Mr. Greywolf's personal manager" role. Michael said at one point, "Matt, you autographed a bra?"

"Yea, and a pair of panties and both were still hot when I handed them to him," Luke laughed.

After dinner, Uncle Michael, Mr. Stephenson and Luke were to meet with Millie and work on the exhibition catalog. Eugene, Paula and I had planned to get together at Eugene's to make final decisions about the program and program notes for the concert so Luke rode with me.

The three of us worked for about three hours and finally Paula said, "That's it. Let's get it typed. Who's fastest?" Eugene reluctantly took on the task since he knew he was by far the fastest on the keyboard. As each page was printed, first Paula and then I gave it a careful reading. Eugene made any corrections and it was ready for Millie. "Think we should have Yong Jin check it before Millie sees it?" Paula asked.

"How about if we give copies to Millie and Mom then Mom can give Millie a call with any corrections? I know Millie wants to get it in the works. It's supposed to be super special."

"Sounds good. Have you seen the posters all over town?" Eugene asked.

"Haven't noticed," I said.

"I haven't been in until you came for me and we were so busy talking I guess I missed them," Paula said.

"Millie and I took them around yesterday and plenty places displayed them immediately. People have already started calling for tickets. Millie has an automatic phone thingie handling that. Well, if we're through, I think I might head over to Larry's. By the way, Matt, how are you going to handle this concert and do another smash movie, teen idol?" Eugene laughed. Paula looked puzzled so I had to tell the story again.

"By the way," I said when I had finished, and Eugene and Paula were again in control, "the club they have for kids--actually 14- to 20-year-olds--is great. Maybe we can all go some Friday or Saturday night when all this is over."

"Maybe we can go before it is over. We're going to need a break, Matt," Paula said.

"That's more like it," Eugene agreed.

Luke and the rest were still in deep discussion when I came down and Uncle Michael said, "Matt, I'll bring Luke home when we finish. It may be a while." I walked over to Luke and, when he looked up, kissed him and said, "How does it feel to be kissed by the latest teen idol?" Mr. Stephenson and Uncle Michael started laughing and Millie looked puzzled. "Laters," I said and left as I knew the story would be told again, becoming more elaborate with each telling.

When I got home, I was very pleased that Monday's school work was done because my late Saturday night caught up with me and I undressed and piled into my bed and was asleep in no time.

Mom was right, everyone at school had heard the "Teen Beat" junk or been told about it. About half the girls seemed to believe it and I spent a lot of time signing autographs. But fame gets old quickly and, by afternoon, it was forgotten and everyone was talking about the upcoming trial. Ms. Jones had announced that Tuesday's social studies classes were expected to watch the trial during class and other teachers had permission to turn it on if they wished. When school was out, I drove to St. Mary's because Luke was meeting with Millie, Mr. Stephenson and Uncle Michael again so we rode together.

As soon as we were out of the parking lot and unlikely to be seen, Luke leaned over and kissed me. "Matt, I think it's time you got a different car before I kill myself trying to kiss you in this damn Jeep."

"Hey, watch your mouth. This damn Jeep has served us both well. Just that it's not made for kissing."

"Guess I'll have to think of something new," Luke said, as he got an evil grin on his face and placed his hand on my thigh, gradually rubbing it and moving his hand higher. He finally grabbed what had been a limp tool, but was now a Lakota arrow.

"Luke, I'm driving!"

"So am I," Luke laughed, "I'm driving the love of my life wild!"

"You are. Luke, I can't drive and..." I knew if Luke didn't stop I was going to have a mess in my pants and a lot of explaining to do. "Luke..."

Luke laughed, moved his hand away and risked his own family jewels to lean over and kiss me. "Later, and that's a promise, Babe."

When I got to Millie's, Luke said he would be finished about five if I wanted to pick him up. "I'll think about it. Ok, I have thought about it. I'll be there." He leaned into the Jeep and gave me a really soft, gentle kiss. "I promise," I said and he smiled. It was all I could do to go on to St. Mary's.

Paula and I thought the practice went extremely well, but Eugene was not happy with the ensemble. After practice, I suggested we meet in the parish library to discuss the problem. Eugene had some complaints which, I knew, were legitimate, but would be worked out long before the concert. "Eugene, I suspect it is not the practice that is the problem," Paula said.

"Well, I wasn't happy with the practice, that's for sure, because I know the group can and has done better, but you're also right. I've got something on my mind and I know I let it color how I looked at the practice. I'll do better tomorrow."

"Any way we can help?" I asked.

"No, not right now. Thanks anyway." We both gave Eugene a hug and he left to take Paula home. I still had almost half an hour before I was due at Millie's and I decided to go into the church. I sat in the dim light coming through the stained glass windows, my eyes focused on the altar cross which was reflecting the light from the sanctuary candle. I didn't know why I went into the church. I seldom did that, I mean just to sit. I wasn't praying, at least I didn't think I was. I wasn't even thinking, I just sat. At least that's what I believed I was doing. After I had sat quietly for several minutes, I felt very ashamed and very sad. I started weeping hot tears. I still wasn't sure why. I sat a while longer then wiped my eyes and drove to Millie's. The group had finished their work and Luke was ready to go home. Uncle Michael asked Millie and Mr. Stephenson to show him around town since he didn't have to take Luke home.

As soon as we got in the Jeep Luke said, "I started something after school that I bet you want me to finish," and gave me an evil leer. I just looked at him and smiled, weakly. When we reached the gate to the falls, Luke hopped out and opened it.

At the falls, Luke spread the blanket and we sat down. I had been silent the whole trip from town. Luke obviously sensed something was wrong and had been silent as well. After we had been sitting without speaking for several minutes, Luke looked at me with questions in his eyes. All I could do was wrap my arms around him and start crying my eyes out. Luke held me tightly and I know he was completely bewildered. Well, so was I--well, actually I wasn't. When I was finally able to stop crying, I lifted Luke's face to mine and kissed him ever so softly. I took a deep breath and said, "Luke, Yonghon Tongmu, when Eugene and Paula left St. Mary's today for some reason I went into the church and just sat. I wasn't praying or even thinking, at least I wasn't conscious of doing either, but something has been bothering me since last night and I didn't know what it was."

Luke started to say something, but I put my finger to his lips. "No, don't say anything until I finish. When I left, I had some idea what was troubling me and as soon as I saw you it became very clear. Luke, you know I love you with every fiber of my being. You are my very life and I haven't been treating you right." Once again Luke started to speak and again I put my finger to his lips. "Love of my life, I have taken and taken from you without giving much thought to the price you were paying for giving to me. You have had to be the strong one. Time and again I was ready to just forget everything in order to make love to you completely. But that's not all. I realized today that in a very real way you have given up your family for me. Sure you have been working all hours on your project, but every minute you have free, you have spent with me. And I selfishly not only accepted it, but expected it. I have my family. I spend time at home with them and you, well, you haven't because of me. Luke, I have been very selfish of your love and your presence and your care. I'm sorry Luke. I am very sorry."

When I finished, we were both silent again. Luke finally said, "Matt, Sarang Hanun Pomul, I haven't given you a moment I regret. I know my family misses me. Dad even said so. That's why he decided we could share my bed. I haven't regretted it in the least. Yes, I have had to call a halt sometimes, not because I wanted to or even because I was afraid I would regret it. I did it because I knew you would hate yourself and I was afraid you would hate me. We're put together differently Matt. You are spontaneous, living fully in the present. I love that about you. Sometimes I wish I was that way, but I am not. I tend to think too much at times. I want to know the future. But have I sacrificed too much for you? Never. Matthew Sarang Hanun Pomul Greywolf, I would cheerfully give my life for you. Selfish? I don't think so. Foolish? At times I think you are, but I love it. Your foolishness is also the reason you are playful and, if I remember correctly, being playful was something we were going to work on."

"Last night was hard on both of us. You said that what we would have done in my bed felt dirty to you. Well, it didn't feel dirty to me, it felt... Matt, it felt as though I was a stranger to myself and to you. I was frightened. I was frightened that you would see it as somehow or other a rejection of you. Don't get me wrong, I can understand what you are saying and why you feel that way. I could say you shouldn't, but feelings don't come in shoulds and should nots. They just are. Last night made it very clear to me that we are not independent of the rest of the world. You know what I feel when your hair covers us? I feel that you have created a world of our own and I love it, but it's temporary. We very much live in a very large world in which my dad's feelings have a direct effect on how we express our love. We very much live in a world where there are people who would hurt us because we love each other. I guess I have been made more conscious of that world than you have until, for whatever reason, you realized it with a bang today. I hope it doesn't take away your playfulness and your spontaneity, but..."

"But, Luke, help me to realize that I don't own you and that others love you and have a right to be with you and love you."

Again we were silent then Luke said, "Another bump in the road behind us?" I answered with a tender kiss. "But since we are here and no-one's expecting us..." Luke started undressing me, making love to my body with his amazing lips. When I was undressed, I undressed my love and, as I lay on his body, he undid my hair and we did have our private world, even if it was temporary.

It took a dive from the top of the falls and a longish swim to wash away the evidence of our having left another bump in our road behind.

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