Castle Roland

A Special Place

by Sequoyah


Chapter 54

Posted: N/A

A Special Place--Part Fifty-four--Matt

By the time Michael and Mary Kathryn reached the kitchen, Mom had added two places at the table. She and Dad had prepared a huge salad from the fresh vegetables from the garden and that, along with several cheeses and crackers, was lunch. As we ate, Michael and Mary Kathryn told us how much they had enjoyed the drive with Taequo and meeting Al and Chris. "Taequo said he would probably see us in a week or so. Anyone know what that's about?" Michael asked.

The question was first met by silence as Dad and Red Hawk glanced at each other. Luke and I knew what was coming, but kept quiet. Finally Red Hawk spoke, "Yong Jin, I think we need some dessert." Mom smiled and prepared bowls of ice cream covered with fresh strawberries. As we started eating, Red Hawk said, "Michael, your brothers have, I think, overcome the bad spirit which would have destroyed their relationship and almost cost Luke's life. Of course, you can't blame it all on a bad spirit since they brought some of it on themselves by their distrust of each other. I think at least that has been handled and will not be a real problem in the future. At least, in that regard, the future is up to them. But they, as you, are destined to be medicine men--healers of spirits--and that is not finished. As a matter of fact you are way ahead of them. You know your guardian spirit. They have yet to meet theirs. For you it happened in the sweat. That's an unusual occurrence. In fact, I never knew it to happen that way before. For most, and for your brothers, it will happen, if it happens, on a vision quest."

"While your brothers are making their quest, I will instruct you in some of the ways of a medicine man. Actually, I will continue your instruction since it started when you learned the sweat lodge ceremony. Then, when the quest is over, Taequo will join us for the celebration."

"What about Mary Kathryn?" Michael asked. "We've already been separated for most of the summer and another couple weeks doesn't seem like a great deal of fun."

"Mary Kathryn, how do you feel about that?" Mom asked.

"Well, obviously, I don't like the idea at all! Seems everyone gets time with Michael except me."

"Guess you need to learn that's the way it's going to be," Red Hawk said. "Sorry, Mary Kathryn, but your man doesn't belong just to you, but to the whole world. And the world will place demands on him neither of you will welcome. But I don't have to tell you that yours is a special man who, by the way, is in love with a very special woman. In fact, I was toying with the idea of asking Jens and Gabrielle if you could come along and spend time with Singing Sparrow, a very powerful medicine woman. While the men are engaged in their work, she could conduct an Ishnata Awicalowan ceremony--a preparing for womanhood ceremony--for you. It's all about preparing a girl to be a woman. I think it's time, especially in the light of who you have chosen to be your soulmate."

Dad and Red Hawk told us what they had been thinking in terms of the next couple of weeks. "We'll take four or five days to drive to the Black Hills, Indian style--no interstate highways, no motels," Red Hawk said. "When we reach them, Matt and Luke will do their vision quest while Michael and Mary Kathryn undergo instruction."

"Since there will be five of you, you'll need to take our four-wheel-drive," Dad added. "The Jeep would be too small and David's van wouldn't handle some of the places Red Hawk will be dragging you, I suspect."

When the two Indians had finished, Michael asked, somewhat pitifully, "Do we have any choice?"

Red Hawk answered quietly, "I don't know. Do you?"

The Gang of Four started looking at our plates, heads down, saying nothing, avoiding looking at each other. Finally, Mary Kathryn said, "The answer is yes and no. Yes, we could choose not to go and no, we will not make that our choice." She had said all that was to be said on the subject.

The table cleared, we discussed the trip. "Today's Monday," Red Hawk said. "We need be in no rush. We'll leave Wednesday morning--early." We then talked about what we needed to take. "You'll need to take a lot less than you think," Red Hawk said, "if you're like most white folks. Most think you have to take everything including the kitchen sink!" We soon learned what he meant when we got the tent from the garage. "That's too big," he said. "We'll get a couple of tarps in case it rains. They are small compared to that tent." He finally gave us a shopping list of things to get and Michael, Luke and I headed for town to pick them up.

While we were gone, Mary Kathryn called her mom and told her the latest news. Gabrielle said she would talk to Jens, but for Mary Kathryn to go ahead and get ready. Mary Kathryn also told Gabrielle the family was gathering for supper Tuesday night before we left. Michael called Margaret and talked with her. He had planned to talk with his dad, but David was out on a run. I thought it was great that Michael felt as though Margaret was, indeed, his parent, and could make a decision for the family as well as David could.

When we got back with everything Red Hawk had put on the list, he said, "The rest of today and tomorrow is yours. You might want to see your friends tomorrow and let them know what's happening." Michael told me and Luke that he had kept Bill posted on what had been going on, and that they had decided to let those who were not here know very little--for fear they would worry and ruin their summer. Bill, of course, had told Linda everything since she was also in town. I guess they would be the only two we'd see before we left.

Luke had suggested we sleep at his place that night. I told him that, while I was more comfortable at his place than I had been, I still wasn't as comfortable with him there as I was at my place. "I guess it's not just Jens, but Mary Kathryn is just down the hall and we don't have to be as quiet at my place as at yours."

"True," Luke said, "but since Red Hawk came, we have seen little of Mom and Dad. I'm afraid they feel left out." Luke was right of course.

"Well, why don't we make it extra special," I suggested. "Let's prepare dinner for them."

"Great idea," Luke smiled. "Really a great idea." Before we left for his place, we went to the garden and gathered fresh vegetables and a basket of strawberries. "Shortcake, please?" he said, as we finished picking the berries.

"Whatever you want, Lover," I said and kissed him.

"Well, how about shortcake first, THEN what I want?"


When we got to Luke's it was already 4:30. Jens and Gabrielle usually got home about 6:00, so we planned an early dinner. As we were getting the food prepared for cooking, Michael and Mary Kathryn burst through the front door, stopped just inside the hall where we could see them, and Michael grabbed her and pulled her to himself, starting a tongue duel. His hands slipped under her shirt and cupped her breasts as she grabbed his cheeks and pulled his hips to hers. Luke "accidentally" dropped a pan and the two sprang apart as Michael said, "Holy shit! What are you two doing here?"

"If you weren't so busy with my baby sister," Luke said, "you'd see we're cooking. I can't imagine what you two would have done had we not been here."

"I can imagine it and I was," Michael said. "Now you've messed it all up."

"Good thing, from what I saw," I commented.

"Actually, we came in so I could change. Michael and I are going to his place for dinner."

"Then we need only prepare for four," Luke said. "And does that mean Matt and I have the upstairs to ourselves tonight?"

"What do you think?" Mary Kathryn answered. "I have until midnight before I have to be back, but I'll be back then so you two better get all the loud groaning and heavy breathing done by then. Back in a minute, Golden Eagle," she said, dashing upstairs.

Michael laughed and chased her up the stairs saying, "I'm not letting you out of my sight".

They came down a few minutes later. Mary Kathryn had changed into a smart sundress and I realized she was one beautiful woman. "And Michael is no ugly boy himself," I thought. The two ran out of the house, Michael chasing Mary Kathryn again. Through the open front door, I saw him catch her and again plant a passionate kiss on his lady love.

Their playful spirit was catching, and Luke and I were having a grand time cooking and playing. I had put the shortcake in the oven and set the timer, then turned and started preparing whipped cream for it. Luke grabbed me about the waist from behind and nipped my ear. When I turned, I smeared his face with whipped cream. Not to be outdone, he grabbed a handful and covered my face with it, saying, "This is a game two can play". I smeared his face with more, then he leaned over and started licking the whipped cream from my face. "Turn about is fair play," I said as I licked his face. The game became lick a little and kiss a lot. I doubt that dinner would have been ready had the oven timer not gone off. I took the shortcake from the oven, covered it with fresh berries and put it in the fridge. When I looked, Luke still had whipped cream on his face and, as I started to lick it off, Gabrielle arrived. As she walked into the kitchen she said, "Looks like something pretty kinky is going on here," and laughed.

Luke placed a glob of whipped cream on his mom's face and then licked it off as he said, "Now that's real kinky!" Gabrielle laughed and asked, "Is there any left for dinner?" I looked, and realized I'd have to whip more. But it had been fun!

Jens arrived a few minutes later and said, "Something sure smells good," as he walked into the kitchen. Gabrielle still had whipped cream on her face and Jens grabbed her and licked it off. Luke and I started laughing and Jens turned red.

"Now who's being kinky?" Luke asked.

"Just cleaning up your mother," Jens said. "You guys doing dinner?" Jens asked as he walked over and hugged Luke, then me. I still found it strange that Jens was as open with his affection as he was, after being the stoic one so long.

"Sure are. It'll be ready by the time you two freshen up, so don't start anything!"

I got the food ready for the table while Luke got it set. We had set a beautiful table, fit for a mom and dad. Jens and Gabrielle were back soon and we had dinner. During dinner, Jens asked about what had been going on and the trip we were taking. Luke said, "Dad, I can't explain it all. I don't understand it all. I mean, it's a mystery, a lot of it is. And I don't mean a mystery like you'll find out in the end. I mean a mystery, well, like the Blessed Sacrament." I looked at Jens quickly to see his reaction, expecting it not to be a good one.

"I think I understand, Son," he said, "but let's have coffee and talk some more."

Luke and I served coffee and the shortcake in the den, and we talked about all that had happened and how much of it was just, well, mysterious. "I certainly can't explain how Michael ended up with his chest pierced," Luke said, "but he did, and it's there for all to see."

"I can understand how Red Hawk might have herbs and things which got Luke and me back on our feet, I mean doctors might have done the same thing," I said. "What I can't explain is what happened to me--us--in the sweat. Now we're told that Michael, Luke and I are, somehow or other, linked, and Luke and I need to do a vision quest."

"I have heard Greywolf's story of his quest," Gabrielle said. "It's not something I understand, but I know Greywolf and when he said something happened to him, something happened. I guess we'll just have to learn to live with mystery."

"Don't know that we have a choice," I said. "To tell the truth, I suspect everyone lives with mystery. Most just deny it or don't see it."

"No doubt you're right," Jens said. "Anyway, Red Hawk got you two back in the land of the living and that's enough for me. You're leaving Wednesday?"

"Yea. I thought we'd go tomorrow since we have very little else to do before we leave, but Red Hawk said we needed to see our friends before we leave. Of course, only Bill and Linda are around, but I guess we'll spend time with them tomorrow, then be off early Wednesday after having dinner at our place tomorrow night."

"Thanks for dinner and the conversation, Sons," Jens said. "I've had a rough day and am going to bed early." I saw him wink at Gabrielle and the two got up and left the room. Luke and I made short work of cleaning up and, as I was putting away the dishes, he dashed upstairs. A few minutes later he came back with a bottle of oil, popped it in the microwave and winked at me. "Slow and easy tonight, Dark Angel, but we don't have to stop at the end of the menu!"

When we got upstairs, I saw Luke had covered his bed with a couple of large beach towels. How long had it been since we had given each other a massage with warm oil? I couldn't say exactly, but it had been too long, much too long.

A Special Place--Part Fifty-four--Luke

I had told Matt it would be slow and easy tonight, but with no stopping until we were ready. I had been thinking all day that Matt and I had forgotten just how great our loving had been before we had the limits removed. Sure, there was always foreplay but, before, all we had was foreplay and it was long and great. While he finished putting the dishes away, I dashed upstairs, grabbed beach towels for the bed and got the bottle of massage oil that had been neglected too long, and took it downstairs and nuked it. When the microwave timer rang, I grabbed the oil and then swept Matt into my arms and carried him upstairs. As I climbed the stairs, Matt had his arms wrapped around my neck and kept kissing me. I loved it!

When we reached my room, I kicked the door closed and walked to the bed and lay Matt down on it. He lay there, his hands behind his head, smiling at me. I reached down and took the bands from his hair, lifted him and removed his shirt, then his pants, socks and shoes. I started to massage his foot when he raised up, grabbed me around the neck and pulled me onto the bed, where he immediately started undressing me. As soon as my shirt was off, his mouth covered a nipple as he loosed my shorts and started sliding them down my legs. Since I still had on my shoes, he had to stop, take them off, and then complete the task of undressing me. We wrapped ourselves in each other's arms, our tongues dueling, our bodies pressed together. Matt rolled on top of me, his hair cascading over the two of us. How great it felt! How wonderful to enter that private world we enjoyed so much, the world filled with the fragrance of my Sarang Hanun Pomul!

Finally, I managed to crawl from under him and said, "On your stomach, Lover Boy!" When he did as I asked, I grabbed the warm oil and poured a stream down his back and legs, rubbed it over his body until he was covered, and then started massaging his shoulders. How I loved the feel of his beautiful dark skin under my hands! I moved down his back, finally reaching his round cheeks which I massaged, occasionally slipping my fingers into his crack and touching his magic place. Matt was making purring noises like a contented cat as I continued down his body and legs. I took each foot into my hands and gave it special treatment. Before I finished, I started tickling the bottom of his foot and kissing it. Matt was giggling and groaning at the same time.

"Ok, Matthew Sarang Hanun Pomul Greywolf, on your back."

"You just want to see what you've really done to me," he said in what he intended to be a pouty voice, but it came out with a giggle.

I laughed, "Unless things have really changed, I KNOW what I have done to you--and I have just started". I poured a stream of the still-warm oil on his chest and stomach, and covered Chili Pepper with plenty before covering the front of his legs. As I massaged his chest, I had to stop from time to time to kiss, nip and suck a nipple. When I reached Chili Pepper, it was obvious that my massage had Matt super-hot, as he was literally streaming precum. For fear I'd spoil what I planned for later, I avoided Chili Pepper but did massage his thighs, and frequently reached up to rub the oil around his man's tool and his balls, again reaching far enough to touch his rosebud. When I reached his feet, I again massaged each one, kissing and fondling each in turn.

"Enough, Luke!" Matt said. "I'm ready for some action!"

"Hey, what happened to slow and easy?" I asked, but knew that there were no "No Touching" rules and I knew my Matt! He reached down and took Little Luke in his hands and coated him well with warm oil. He handed the bottle to me and raised his legs toward his head. I knew exactly what he had in mind, so I poured another stream of oil into his crack as he spread his cheeks, then I started working my fingers into his magic place until I had three fingers inside my Dark Angel.

Matt was groaning and twitching, pushing his hips upward, encouraging my fingers to enter him deeper. Finally he said, "God, Luke, I'm ready. I'm more than ready. I want you and I want you now!" I entered my Sarang Hanun Pomul slowly, gently and, as I did, he pushed his hips up against Little Luke until I was buried inside him. As always, once inside I was still, but Matt was having none of that as he started moving his hips up and down as well as from side to side. Realizing that he was--indeed--ready, I started moving in and out of him and, with each thrust, Matt's hips rose to meet mine. I was in absolute heaven! When I knew that I was on the brink, I stopped and lay atop Matt, kissing his beautiful lips. He was an absolute savage with his kisses! Matt had always been hot when we were making love, but this time he was simply wild. Finally, I once again thrust deep into my love and he grabbed my cheeks, pulling me as deep as possible inside himself. He raised his legs further, giving me even more access to his magic hole and, as I thrust in, he grabbed my hair and pulled my mouth to his, his tongue doing wonders inside my mouth. This time there was no holding back! Matt took his hands from my hair, grabbed my cheeks and pulled me deep inside, his hips rising to meet mine as I saw flashing lights and a thunderbolt shot through my body. I thought I would never stop cumming inside my Dark Angel. Pleasure swept over me in wave after wave and I continued to pump man's seed into him. Finally, I collapsed on his body and he held me close, kissing my face, my hair, my eyes, as he said over and over again, "Yonghon Tongmu, I love you. I have always loved you and I always will love you." I was close to exhausted--after all this was the fifth time we had made love, complete with sex, today--but I could feel Chili Pepper hard against me.

Matt reached for the bottle of oil and, when he got it, he frowned. "It's too cold," he said. I wondered what he would do, but he grabbed a robe from my closet and dashed downstairs. He hadn't bothered to tie the sash, so the robe was open and his Chili Pepper--MY Chili Pepper--stood proudly before him. I laughed, and hoped Mom and Dad were engaged in their own love-making when he got downstairs. He was back in a flash and disagreed when I told him he had given me more pleasure than I could have possibly have given him, and tried to prove it as he made use of warm oil--and Chili Pepper!

We were, of course, covered with oil and, after recovering from some of the hottest love-making we had ever had, started sliding over each other, laughing our heads off! There was a lot of kissing, grabbing and hugging going on when, suddenly, Mat slid over my body and fell to the floor. That, of course, started another round of giggles. I reached down to pull him back on the bed and he pulled me to the floor instead. Realizing we were an oily mess, I stood and tried to pick Matt up, but he kept slipping from my grasp. He finally stood on his own, grabbed my hand and we raced across the hall to the shower.

As we played in the shower, Matt said, "Luke, I have missed showering with you. It seems ages since I did!" I kissed him and then started soaping his hard, beautiful, dark body, paying careful attention to Chili Pepper. I took the shampoo, which now always had the fragrance of Matt--which I loved so well--and started washing his long, black hair. When I had finished, it was his turn to soap me and wash my hair. It was taking a while for us to finish, as there was much stopping for play! When we were clean, we kept playing--just kids' playing--in the shower until, suddenly, the water started turning cold.

After we had dried each other, Matt picked me up and carried me across the hall. When he reached the bed, he held me in one arm while he stripped the towels from the bed and laid me down. We wrapped ourselves in each other's arms, lying facing each other and drinking in the beauty of our lover's eyes. We were just enjoying each other without words, and the stillness between us, when I realized we had not closed my door as Mary Kathryn came down the hall, stuck her head in my door and said, "Ok, quiet time now you two!" and laughed. I was ready to jump out of bed and close the door, when she pulled it to and said, "Goodnight, Brothers".

Our love-making had left both of us warm, drowsy, contented and, before we knew it, we were asleep--and slept until Dad called up the stairs announcing breakfast was waiting.

After breakfast, we all went to Michael's to decide how we would spend the day. He had already called Bill and we decided we'd all meet at Uncle Michael's. Michael had called him to ask permission and he was delighted to have us come over since we hadn't seen him since we got back. "Bill asked if Buddy and Danny could join us and I told him to ask them," Michael said.

"Where's Jake," I asked.

"I think that's why Bill wanted Danny and Buddy to be included," Michael said. "He was pretty mysterious about it."

When we arrived, Uncle Michael and John had prepared lemonade--which sure was welcome as it was turning out to be a very hot July day. We went to the gazebo, where we told everyone what had happened and what we would be doing the next two weeks. Needless to say, there were a lot of questions!

No-one asked about Jake until we had finished our own stories and then Matt asked, "Where's Jake?" Danny and Buddy looked at each other, and Danny finally nodded and Buddy said, "We're not sure. All three of us were released from the half-way house and found a small apartment we could afford. Everything seemed to be going ok, except Jake became more and more strange. Finally both Danny and I noticed a sports car we thought we recognized, parked across the street from the apartment one evening when we came from the hospice. Jake had night duty and left after we had eaten. Sometime later, Chelsea called and asked if something was wrong because Jake hadn't shown up. I guess both Danny and I suspected what had happened, but didn't want to believe it. Danny took Jake's shift and, when he came home in the morning, Jake was on the living room couch. He was out of it big time. We finally got him into bed and, when he came around, we asked him what was up. He told us it was none of our damn business and he was sick of dealing with dying people, having no money and no fun. After that, he was generally gone when we got home from school and, if he was there the next morning, he was usually stoned on something."

"Buddy and I really knew what was going on, but we didn't want to admit it. Finally, he missed an appointment with his probation officer and when the officer called the apartment, Jake wasn't there. He hasn't been back since. The car, we are both sure, belongs to a john who has given Jake money, clothes, expensive gifts--and a lot of alcohol and drugs. We both suspect--know--he's run away with the guy. We aren't sure what we should do. His probabtion officer keeps calling and we just keep telling him we haven't seen Jake, which is true. Yesterday, the officer came over and put the screws to us and we told him what we thought. He's stumped because we don't know the john's name--Jake just referred to him as my sugar daddy--or anything else. All we know is the kind of car he drives. I'm afraid for Jake. I know the guy is into some pretty kinky stuff, but what can we do?"

The answer, of course, was nothing. "Jake has made his choice," Danny said, "and I'm afraid he'll have to live with it."

"Or die from it," Buddy added. It was sad, but what could we do except agree. Mary Kathryn changed the subject and asked the two how they were doing. Both actually found working in the hospice not enjoyable, but fulfilling. "I can handle it most of the time," Danny said, "but we had two kids, I mean really young kids, die--and that hurts. Both, however, have given me a real appreciation of life and that has meant the world to me." Buddy agreed.

Uncle Michael and John served lunch, and we just kinda lazed around and talked about first one thing and then another. Both the guys were enjoying college. "I never thought I'd like school, but I am. I'm taking general courses now, but am thinking about starting a nursing program this fall," Buddy said.

Danny wasn't sure what he wanted to do, but was enjoying the classes he had, especially a literature one. "And I'm taking an art class, Mr. Stephenson, and I really love it. Don't think I'm very good, but I enjoy it for myself."

Mid-afternoon, the two had to leave. Buddy had an early evening class he needed to study for, and Danny was on night duty at the hospice. After they left, we talked about the change in them and then about Jake. "I think Jake will end up a statastic," Michael said, and we all agreed.

A Special Place--Part Fifty-four--Matt

It was time for us to start packing for the trip, and Bill and Linda decided to come with us. When we had everything together and started packing the four-wheeler, Red Hawk said we might need the sleeping bags tonight, so we left them out. When we finished, Bill and Linda hugged us goodbye and said they would see us in a couple weeks.

After they left, Red Hawk asked me and Luke to go for a walk. We walked along the river below the falls and, when we reached Luke's and my special place under the willows, he said, "This, too, is a sacred spot". We both nodded and the old Indian smiled. He talked about the vision quest, something we both had known about since we were kids because we both had heard the story of Dad's quest. Red Hawk talked in very vague terms about what he saw in our future, but said nothing specific. I soon got the feeling he was beating about the bush and said so.

Red Hawk grinned like a little boy caught snitching cookies and said, "Well, there is something you need to know and I suspect you haven't been told. You know that during the quest you will fast." We both nodded. We had talked about how Dad had managed to go without food and water for a week, since we first learned about it. "There's another fast. A fast from sex."

"That should be no problem since we will be separated," Logical Luke responded.

Well, actually..." Red Hawk was, it seems, reluctant to finish what he started. "We will leave tomorrow on a journey leading to your quest which, I am sure, will end with a vision and a feast celebrating it. During that time--I mean as soon as we begin the journey tomorrow--no sex."

"Wait just a minute," Luke practically exploded. "After being separated for four weeks and living through a week of sheer hell, we have made love, I mean REALLY made love--you know--and now you want us to give it up for another week or two? You've got to be kidding!"

"Think you two are men enough to do that?" Red Hawk asked.

Luke and I were both silent for a long time. Finally, I leaned over and kissed Luke and answered, "I guess if we have to, we can. Right, Babe?" I looked at Luke and saw him nod, but he was definitely not pleased at the prospect. Neither was I!

Luke suddenly got that look in his eye, gave me his special wicked grin and said, "Dark Angel, Red Hawk didn't say no love-making, just no sex". He turned to Red Hawk, grinned and asked, "Right? Does that mean anything we did before we were eighteen is ok?"

"Don't know what you did before you were eighteen, well, actually I do. Greywolf told me about your promise and that you kept it. So, yes. 'Course, it's going to be hard to draw the line now that you have stepped over it, but you're men. You know what you need to do. But no-one said anything about the time between now and when we leave," Red Hawk laughed his deep belly laugh. "And I think this old Indian better get the hell out of here."

Red Hawk was barely out of sight before Luke was all over me. "Not wasting any time, are you, Yonghon Tongmu?"

"Hell no!" Luke said, stopping his undressing of me just long enough to look into my eyes as he answered. Luke was practically ripping my clothes from me, his hands running over my now-bare body, sending goose bumps over me. Luke was so busy I found it hard to get his shirt and shorts off. His eyes sparkled, sending me into sheer ecstasy.

Our love-making grew more and more intense, our tongues doing battle, our hands rubbing each other's hard body. Our love-making started hot and furious and only increased in intensity. We had never tried giving and receiving pleasure with our mouths at the same time because we had wanted to focus on our lover, but today was different. This time, before Luke could take Chili Pepper into his mouth, I turned around and placed my mouth on Little Luke and then his hot, hot mouth covered Chili Pepper. Luke was sucking and licking Chili Pepper, sending waves of pleasure through my body. I did the same as my hand moved up and down his hard, beautiful manhood. From time to time, we held the other's manhood in our mouth, but stopped to gaze into our lover's eyes. Maybe Lucas had been right after all. Maybe you can give and receive pleasure at the same time. Perhaps he meant that maybe you can receive two kinds of pleasure at the same time, for surely having Luke in my mouth was pleasure--different, but just as intense--as was having his mouth pleasuring Chili Pepper.

I knew Luke and I were both giving as well as receiving, focusing on the other as much as on ourselves when he slowed down as my breathing started to become ragged. I knew I was about to go over the edge when he slowed down and I increased my suction and moved my hand up and down Little Luke faster. Suddenly I felt a blast of Luke sweetness in my mouth as I was hit by a surge of pleasure. Stars shot before my eyes and shiver after shiver shook my body. Finally, out of pleasure beyond my imagining, I gasped and lost consciousness. When I came to, Luke had turned around and I was looking into the blue, blue depths of the most magnificent eyes in the whole world. A special Luke smile covered the face of my Yonghon Tongmu, bringing one to my face. "God, Yonghon Tongmu, how could we ever have thought that our love wasn't perfect," I asked. "How could we ever have doubted that what we have is special beyond belief?"

"Guess being madly in love doesn't mean you can't be an idiot from time to time," he answered.

We lay side by side, drinking in the face of our beloved. I reached out and started stroking Luke's wonderful hair. I knew that long hair wasn't the fashion any more, but it didn't matter. I loved the golden halo of tight curls covering the head of my Bright Angel. As I stroked Luke's hair, he pulled mine over our bodies. Moving over him, my hair covered us and, once again, created that very private world in which only the two of us existed--for the second time in much too long. After we had exchanged numerous kisses, I rested my head on Luke's chest and we both fell asleep.

I was awakened by a tender kiss. As I opened my eyes, I saw my Bright Angel before me, his golden hair glowing in the sunlight which filtered through the willows. We lay, our naked bodies in the dappled sunlight, and talked, again, about what we had gone through and what we faced. Luke was resting on an elbow, his face above mine, when he said, "Sarang Hanun Pomul, Red Hawk has said we can make love as we did before we turned eighteen. Do you think we can do that? Do you think we can make love and not cross the line?"

"I don't know. Do you think we can? I mean make love and stop before sex?"

"Dark Angel, I can if that is all I can do. But, I mean, it's about loving and being loved. and if we have to have a 'beyond this there be dragons' point, then so be it. Right?"

I could only nod. We talked a while longer and then I said, "But, Yonghon Tongmu, we haven't started our journey yet!" Thank God for the endurance of eighteen-year-olds because we proved, once again, that there could be wonderful sex after long foreplay!

Exhausted by our afternoon of love-making, we lay together a while longer then, without speaking a word, picked up our shirts and shorts and walked to the falls.

Before we reached them, we heard voices, Michael's and Mary Kathryn's. When we walked out of the willows, our sister and brother were playing in the basin. They had not seen us and, just as we approached, Michael grabbed Mary Kathryn and planted a passionate kiss on her mouth, his hands cupping her butt, pulling her hips to his.

"Unhand my baby sister, you cad!" Luke shouted. Michael didn't break his stride as he lifted one hand and shot Luke a bird. Luke and I joined the two lovers frolicking in the water.

After we had swum for a while, the four of us lay, naked, on the beach, talking about the latest turn of events. Suddenly Mary Kathryn raised up on an elbow and asked a question I had wondered about: "Do you think that after I'm prepared for womanhood it means... I mean... you know...."

Michael laughed and then turned red. "Well, if you're a woman, I guess it means you're a woman. I mean that you do woman things." He blushed again. "But what I want to know is, do medicine men have sex with such a woman?"

Mary Kathryn gave him a real slug on the arm and said, "I don't know about that, but if you, medicine man, have sex with any other woman than this one, you'll be a very dead medicine man!"

"Well, I think a medicine man can have sex with a woman but you, medicine man, better not have sex with my baby sister!"

Michael hit Luke on the shoulder and soon the two of them were wrestling on the beach. I never expected to see the day when our younger brother could take either of us on, but that day had come. Michael grabbed Luke, hoisted him into the air and raced to the basin and tossed him in. Luke could hang on to Michael just long enough to pull him into the basin as well.

When the two rejoined Mary Kathryn and me, we became very serious when she said, "You know, times like these for us are very near their end. I welcome the future, but I am sorry to see the present go." After a long silence, we started talking about things we remembered from our growing-up years. Mary Kathryn finally said, "We have to be four of the luckiest kids in the whole world". We all agreed.

A Special Place--Part Fifty-four--Margaret

Mary Kathryn had called earlier to tell me that we were having supper at the Greywolfs', and Greywolf had called later to tell me what was going on. "I tried to get David, but he is out on a call," he had said. After I had talked with him, and gotten some clarity on what the Gang of Four would be doing, I began to wonder just what preparation for womanhood involved for the Lakota. As I did, I realized that there was another preparation that needed to be taken care of and made a decision, but I needed to talk with David before I took any action. I left word in the ER for him to see me as soon as he came in.

David came to my office shortly after I had left word. I was with a patient when he came and, as soon as I was finished, I found I had a few minutes before my next appointment. David and I sat in my office and I was ready to get right down to business, but David had other ideas. Finally, after several passionate kisses, I said, "David, you know how I hate quickies and that's where you're headed".

He laughed and sat down as he said, "That's a down payment on a longie! But what's up?"

"David, this is one of those times when I find Dr. Bailey and Michael's mom in conflict." I told him about Mary Kathryn's going to the Black Hills and undergoing the ceremony called Preparing for Womanhood. "I'm not sure where the preparation ends and the being begins, but I think Michael and Mary Kathryn may see it as permission to have sex. Don't get me wrong. I'm not sure I approve. After all, they are only sixteen, but I'm also not sure I disapprove. What I am sure about is that we will not make that decision for them."

"Just what are you getting at, Margaret?" David looked puzzled.

"What I am getting at is that I'm not ready to be a grandmother or you a grandfather. I think someone needs to talk to Mary Kathryn about birth control and you need to talk to Michael."

"I have, many times, but I will again if you like."

"Well, you know better than I whether you need to or not, but what about Mary Kathryn?"

"I see your point. Don't you think Gabrielle has talked with her?"

"I'm sure she has, but how much...?"

"Well, if I were you... if I were you, I'd chicken out and say nothing, at least as far as Jens is concerned. Mary Kathryn is still his baby girl. Talk to Gabrielle and take your cue from her." As David finished, his pager went off and he was out the door. I wondered if that was planned!

I asked the nurse to send in the next patient and have the receptionist call Gabrielle and ask her to come over.

After two more patients, the receptionist called me to say Gabrielle was waiting. When she came in she said immediately, "I hope nothing is wrong, Margaret. I'm not ready for another crisis!"

"Neither am I!" I joined in her laughter. "I'm hoping to avoid another." I then told her what I had been thinking and what David and I had discussed. "I don't want to overstep my bounds," I said, "but I also want to be as helpful as possible."

"I have had a good mother-and-daughter talk with Mary Kathryn several times. I was prepared to blame Michael if... well, you know... but she set me straight on that," Gabrielle laughed. "Takes after her mother, I guess! It is obvious to me that Michael and Mary Kathryn are both pretty mature for their age. Both are so much in love it's frightening at times, and both are generally very responsible, but hormones are hormones! Well, I say they are both mature for their age, but I'm not sure that was true before the summer. Mary Kathryn has really changed and matured this summer. She is now definitely a woman and no longer a silly girl--well, most of the time. On the one hand I hate to see her leave childhood behind and take on a woman's responsibility and, on the other, I love the young woman she has become. I know that sooner or later she and Michael will become sexually active--that sounds so clinical. Sooner or later they will express their love through sex--and I know that is what it will be, along with the lust, expressing their love. I wish it would be later but, again, she is her mother's daughter, if you know what I mean." Gabrielle blushed. "Unlike Jens, I suspect, I know they will make the decision, not us. But I'm doing all the talking and you asked me over."

"Well, you've answered part of my question. What I wanted, after I was sure you knew Michael and Mary Kathryn would sooner or later--and, I agree, it will be sooner--begin to make love without restrictions... what I wanted to ask was your and Jens' permission to prescribe birth control for her."

"Margaret, to be honest, I think this better be women's talk. Don't get me wrong, Jens loves Michael--I think as much as Luke. I'm sure in his daydreams he already sees Michael as the father of his grandchildren, but in the far, far distant future. Right now, if you approached the question of birth control for Mary Kathryn, I'm sure he'd just pitch a Jens fit. I'll speak to Mary Kathryn and tell her I wish they would wait, even until they were married, but in my heart I know they won't. I wouldn't, would you?"

"Do I need to answer that?" I said and rubbed my large midsection. Gabrielle laughed.

"If you'll take care of the doctor details I would appreciate it. Seems at this point Michael and Mary Kathryn are our only hope for grandchildren, and I feel equally as strongly as Jens about Michael being the father of my grandchildren. And thanks, Margaret, for your concern for my daughter as well as your son. I'll call Mary Kathryn and ask her to come by."

"Would you ask her to drag Michael along?"


"You know, Margaret, sometimes I wish Luke wasn't gay. It's not because there is anything wrong--or right--about the fact that he's gay, or because he won't be giving us grandchildren. It's just that he would be spared a lot of suffering but, since he is gay, I couldn't ask for a better soulmate for him than Matt and, thankfully, Jens feels the same way."

"I understand how you feel."

Mary Kathryn called just before I saw my last patient, and said she and Michael were on their way.

They arrived just as I was showing my last patient out. I had debated about seeing Mary Kathryn alone and then the two of them, but decided that wasn't a good idea. When they came in, both gave me a big hug. I was still surprised at how easily Michael showed affection and was more than delighted that he did. "Come into the office," I said. "I want to talk with both of you before you go on your trek."

When we were in the office, I said, "The forthcoming Preparing for Womanhood ceremony made me, I suspect, suddenly realize you were adults and... I'll get to the point. To be honest, I wish the two of you would wait on sex until college at least, and I don't want anything I say to suggest otherwise. Having said that, I am realistic enough to know that will probably not be the way it is. Given the reality of your situation, I ask two things of you, Michael, as my son, and of you, Mary Kathryn as, yes, a daughter. First, and this is very important, I ask that you make your first time--and for that matter every time--special. Never let sex become a thing in itself. I know from bitter experience where that leads. Michael, be gentle, be caring, be easy." I then told Michael about what Mary Kathryn's being a virgin meant for the first time. "But a woman always appreciates her man being slow and easy, loving and caring, and respects that in a man more than you realize."

"The second thing I ask of you is that you don't allow your love-making to create a problem for you and the whole family. Someday I hope the two of you will have bundles of children. You are the hope of the family in that regard. It will be years before the children I am bearing will give us grandchildren." I then told them about my talk with Gabrielle and wrote a prescription for birth control for Mary Kathryn.

As I handed Mary Kathryn the prescription, she blushed and said, "Margaret, the whole town will know!" She was right of course. Concord is a typical small town in that regard.

"I'll take care of that for you," I said and then went to get what she needed from my sample drawer. "I suggest you start now," I said. "It will do no harm and you'll be protected. Michael, David will have another talk with you. Don't know what he may say, but no method is foolproof and if you want extra protection you can use a condom, as much as some hate them. If you do want extra protection, or think you might, your Dad can explain all about them to you."

One of those endearing, dimpled-cheek, wicked smiles spread across Michael's face and he said, "I'm not too sure about that!" as he reached over and patted my big tummy. I blushed and all three of us laughed.

We all stood and, as we did, Michael said, "Mom, I'm not sure when our first time will be. We both know where--at least we think we do--but, rest assured, I will do you proud in the way I treat my wild woman."

"Linda told me above all else to make our first time special and to do nothing which would make it otherwise," Mary Kathryn said. "She said she and Bill both now know the difference between their first time and their first time together. 'The first time for both of us was just fucking,' she said, 'and our first time together was making love, real love. It was not just sex, but sex expressing our deep love for each other.' I take her words very seriously."

"Peers can do more than parents in some things," I thought.

A Special Place--Part Fifty-four--Jens

I didn't know what to expect when I went to supper at the Greywolfs'. Mary Kathryn had called and said we were having supper there to discuss some plans for the Gang of Four. I certainly hoped there was not another crisis brewing.

I had to work a bit late getting some reports done and when I arrived, everyone was present, including Red Hawk. I had a hard time figuring out what had gone on over the weekend. I think I would have dismissed it all as hocus pocus except for two things. First, I would have had a hard time explaining the wounds on Michael's chest unless what Greywolf, Taequo and Red Hawk had said were true--and even then it was hard to believe. It was still a mystery to me. But there were the wounds on Michael's chest and I knew none of those involved would have hurt Michael. Then there were Matt and Luke.

I had been sure Luke was beyond my help and expected him to need to spend a long time in a hospital, and had even thought he might end up in a mental hospital. I mean he was in really bad shape. I know one thing, the weekend had made me realize just how much my son and his happiness meant to me. Now, as I looked across the table at him, he was radiantly happy and the looks he gave Matt told me why. I still couldn't understand how a man--and especially my own flesh and blood--could love another man, but there was absolutely no question in my mind that he did. I understood love and knew it when I saw it, and I saw it between these two sons of the family.

Before we sat down at the table, we had had a glass of wine--that is, everyone except Margaret and Red Hawk. Margaret had not touched a drop of alcohol from the moment she suspected she was pregnant. As she poured herself a glass of juice, Red Hawk had asked for one as well. "This old Indian has been sober for over thirty years after being drunk for almost as long, and I know I'd fall off the wagon easily." He also said, "Luke, I think your family has been very reasonable about teaching you how to drink. You forgot that in that gay club. You forget it again and I will kick your ass until you are sober, then kick it some more." Luke smiled a somewhat guilty smile.

As we ate, we talked about what we all had been doing at work, the fact that Douglas and Janet would be joining us for a visit, before going on to Ohio--the usual family chat kind of things. Then Yong Jin and Greywolf served coffee and a great strawberry shortcake, and suggested we go to the library.

As soon as we were settled, Red Hawk and Greywolf talked in some detail about the seven ceremonies of the Lakota. I found it fascinating. Then they focused on the vision quest in particular. "Matt and Luke need to do a vision quest. They are ready to drive Red Hawk to the Black Hills and to do their quest there," Greywolf said. He then told the family Michael would be getting instructions as a medicine man while his brothers were on their quest, then he fell silent.

Finally Red Hawk spoke, "Jens, if you and Gabrielle will permit, Mary Kathryn will spend the time with a medicine woman and undergo the Preparation for Womanhood ceremony." There was no question in my mind about Luke going. Whatever it was he was into had made him alive again and I wasn't going to raise any objections. Mary Kathryn's going--especially to prepare for womanhood--was something else altogether!

"Luke is eighteen and can do pretty much as he wants. I don't think I have much say in that anymore," I answered.

"He may be eighteen and think he can do what he wants," Red Hawk responded, "but he can't. He's still your son."

"Well, I have no objection--in fact, I'm all for it after I have seen what happened this weekend, which I still don't understand--but Mary Kathryn preparing for womanhood... my baby girl..."

"For heaven's sake, Jens," Gabrielle said, "your baby girl has been, technically at least, a woman for four years. Truth be known, you could have been a grandfather to a three-year-old child by now! She's grown!"

I was stunned. I mean, I knew all that, but still it was hard to see Mary Kathryn as a grown woman. I looked across the room at where she sat between Michael's legs, his arms around her, and I think, for the first time, realized that she really was a woman--and a very beautiful one at that! I also thought about how she had changed over the summer. She had grown up while I wasn't looking. "You're right, and of course she can go," I was finally able to say.

"There will be a feast after the quest," Red Hawk said. "I hope all the Family will be there. The Greywolfs, Gabrielle and I said, "Of course we will."

"You can still fly, can't you?" David asked, looking at Margaret. She nodded and David said, "Count us in too."

"I guess everyone thinks us old Indians just listen to spirits and drums, but this one likes a lot of other music," Red Hawk said, looking at Matt. For the first time in ages, Matt sat down and started playing. He told us he had done an organ arrangement of "Yonghon Tongmu", and played it for us. Finally, he played--you know what--"More", and the family had a great time singing. When he finished, Red Hawk said, "Time these old bones rested. Sacred ground tonight," and, with those words, he grabbed his pack and started to leave but not before Michael asked if he could join him.

Before he could answer, Mary Kathryn asked, "Mom, Dad, can I join them?" Both Gabrielle and I nodded, and she grabbed Michael's hand and they headed for the door as Yong Jin called after them, telling them their sleeping bags were on the porch.

A Special Place--Part Fifty-four--Luke

Matt and I said goodnight to our parents and as I hugged Dad tightly I said, "Dad, thanks. Thanks for being my dad."

Dad hugged me very close and said, "Thanks for being my son and loving me". He then hugged Matt and said, "Matt, thanks for loving my son and for making him happy".

Matt looked Dad in the eye and said, "My pleasure, Jens, and thanks for giving me the love of my life". He then turned to me and said, "To the river, but not the falls," and the look in his eye told me where.

We hugged Yong Jin and Greywolf and, as we turned to leave, Yong Jin called after us, "May your dreams be of each other!" Gee, this family can get real mushy these days--and I love it!

Matt and I snagged our sleeping bags from the porch and walked, hand in hand, stopping for some great kissing, to the place under the willows. When we reached the willows, we zipped our sleeping bags together and lay on top of them. The summer's night was balmy and we had no need of them as cover. As soon as we lay down, we both started undressing each other. Sometimes I think we should all go nude. It would save a lot of time! Once naked, we started loving each other, first slowly and then more passionately. Just like anything else, making love improves with practice and we were discovering new ways of giving pleasure to each other. I could drive Matt wild by moving my teeth carefully and gently over the head of Chili Pepper. Likewise, he could send me into orbit with his fingers. We certainly took our time, and made love as long as we could before finally exhausting ourselves. Curled in each other's arms, we drifted off to sleep.

I was awaked by the morning birds, before daybreak, to see my beautiful Dark Angel sleeping peacefully beside me. As I looked at him, I thought, "This is how I want to wake up every day of my life," then remembered that, as soon as we got to the Black Hills, we would be separated for our quests but not for long. I smiled at the thought of having my Sarang Hanun Pomul by my side for as long as I lived and that, I hoped, would be a long, long time. And I was sure of one thing, I'd never again try to shorten that time. As I watched, Matt stirred, his eyes opened and his smile melted my heart. "Good morning, Light of my life," I smiled. In response, Matt pulled my mouth to his and buried his tongue in it. This was living!

We had some time before we had to leave for the house and I was sure that Michael, Mary Kathryn and Red Hawk would respect our time together, so we made love in the dawning light. It was beautiful love, wonderful love, star-spinning love. But good things always end and we got up finally, dressed, picked up the sleeping bags and walked to Matt's place where Yong Jin had breakfast waiting. Life was good, living was good, being in love was good. I was happy.

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