by TA (Terry)
The Connellys arrived about four o'clock in the afternoon, minus Frank's wife Marcy who had a charity event at the museum she couldn't get out of, and we ushered them out onto the patio by the pool and got drinks into them as quickly as possible. This was going to be awkward. As it turned out, Michael Connelly was a great looking guy in his very late thirties with dark brown hair that was beginning to gray. Michael's wife Elizabeth was an attractive woman of the same age with blondish hair that was tied in a ponytail.
Mike, as he asked to be called, was clearly the master of his household, at least it didn't seem like Elizabeth was inclined to disagree with her husband in any way. I can't think of two people more different than Frank and his son Michael, to paraphrase a Texas saying 'Frank was all cattle and very little hat', and his son gave the appearance, in the beginning at least, of being the exact opposite.
We had decided that Frank should be totally upfront about the reason for the bar-b-que and Mike had agreed to come only after big time pressure from Frank, but he sure wasn't happy to be here. It also put David and me into the position of being this perfect gay couple and kinda like poster boys for being queer. I decided that as far as I was concerned, I was going to be myself and if anyone didn't like it they could go fuck themselves.
"So, Frank, how have you been, I mean we talk on the phone quite a bit, but I haven't actually seen you in months."
"Good, David, I've been good; and thanks for remembering the scotch." Frank held up his glass.
"Rumor has it that you guys may be making a big acquisition soon, any truth to that?"
Frank looked at David with disbelief. "How the fuck… oh, sorry, Elizabeth. How the devil did you hear that?" Frank scooted to the front of his chair. "Seriously, David, do you know someone in our Zurich office?"
David waved Frank to sit back. "Relax, Frank, I don't know a soul in your home office. I just hear things."
Frank didn't sit back. "Well, have you heard if our offer will be accepted? Did we offer enough?"
"I don't know if your offer will be accepted or not, but if I were you I'd be on my way to talk to the owner. I'm told this guy only knows what the last person he talked to told him."
Frank sat back in his chair. "Oh damn! Can I use your phone?"
"Sure, Frank, the den is the closest… just through those doors and to the left." Frank put his drink down and hurried in to make his call.
Mike sat forward in his chair and looked at David. "You need to tell me how you do that - get him to leave I mean." We all laughed.
I turned to Mike. "I guess your dad can be a little intense sometimes."
"No," Mike said, "Attila the Hun was intense; my dad is way beyond that."
There was an awkward silence before Mike continued, "You know, I'm really not some right wing nut." He lifted his hand and then dropped it. "I work with a gay guy." He paused, "God, that sounds lame, what I mean is that I live in the real world - you're not the first gay people I've met."
"We never thought otherwise, Mike."
"It's just that dad's been on my case like night and day for months now." Mike glanced quickly at his wife.
"Well," David said, "tonight is also about dinner, and I think I'm gonna get it started." He got up and started to leave.
Elizabeth asked, "David, can I help you with something?"
David walked over to her. "Elizabeth, I would love your help. Come on, I'll show you my kitchen." He took her hand. "Don't forget your drink." As they were walking into the house they passed Frank on his way back out to the patio.
Frank sat down and stared at the door David and Elizabeth had just walked through. "Mark, if he wasn't your boyfriend, I'd want him to be mine." He picked up his drink and knocked back a third of it.
"Dad, it might be a little late in life to be making any major changes."
Frank laughed. "Change is the only constant, isn't it?" Then, perhaps a little pointedly, "You always have to be ready for the unexpected, don't you, Mike?"
Then Frank turned to me. "Marky, you look like you're a million miles away. Whatcha thinking about?"
"Oh," I was a little embarrassed, "I was thinking about the day David was stabbed." It made me want to curl up into a ball. "About how quickly things can happen, how your life can be one way one minute and totally changed the next."
Mike sat forward. "David was stabbed!"
"Yeah." I gave him the short, cleaned up version, even though Frank knew most of the details.
Mike said. "You must have wanted to kill him. I know if someone did something to Elizabeth I would."
"I planned to kill him, in my mind I could imagine how it would feel to have my knife touching his beating heart." I smiled. "David wouldn't let me, made me promise that I wouldn't touch the guy. I wanted to kill that guy so bad, but in the end he killed himself, so it took care of itself."
Mike had an odd look on his face. "You were a Ranger," he said quietly, almost to himself.
Frank was obviously still thinking about David and was smiling and shaking his head. "The little fucker is even smarter than I thought." Then he looked at me. "He's wasting his time with that insurance company you know."
"I know, and I think he's planning something, but he's not ready to talk about it yet." I looked at Frank pointedly. "At least not to me."
"Don't look at me, he hasn't said a word. What do you think he's planning?"
"With David it could be anything." I took another sip of my drink. "But I guarantee ya, it'll be something well thought out."
David and Elizabeth walked out of the house carrying platters of food. "Okay," David said, "we grill the steaks and we're in business. You guys ready to eat?"
Dinner was simple and delicious - steaks, baked potatoes, and grilled vegetables, along with some great French bread and beer, lots of it.
Everyone was feeling pretty mellow when Frank said. "Okay, can we talk about Christopher now that everybody has been fed?"
Mike groaned. "Oh God, Dad! Can't we just give it a rest? Do we have to talk about this every second?"
"You already know the answer to that." Frank always pushed.
"Elizabeth," David asked, "was Chris a difficult delivery?" He really was wasting his time with insurance.
"Oh... well, no… actually Christopher was my second child, so it was much easier, really." Then as if someone had asked. "Our first child Robert is dead. He died in an automobile accident."
"Oh God!" David said. "That must have been terrible! I mean… if you'd rather not talk about it… we'd understand."
Mike answered for his wife. "There isn't any point in talking about it. We've already talked about… well, there's just no point." He looked at the ground. "Robert's gone, it happens, and you go on."
"Do you remember the day Chris was born? My mom is always talking about the day that I was born, the weather, how much I weighed, all that stuff."
Elizabeth laughed for the first time. "Mike was so nervous. There was so much to be done. Chris was premature, we needed a babysitter for Robert… we were literally caught off guard." She remembered, "Chris was such a beautiful baby. Some babies don't look all that great, at least for the first week or so, but Chris was beautiful from the beginning. Wasn't he, Mike?"
"Yeah," Mike said, "he was, right from the beginning. A beautiful kid."
I addressed my question to Mike. "How soon were you able to bring him home?"
"Oh, I don't… a couple of days I think… it wasn't long."
David asked with a laugh. "Was he a sleeper or a crier?"
"Oh, he was a wonderful baby, wasn't he, Mike? Really wonderful."
Mike was staring at the ground. "Yeah, he was. He was a great baby."
I'd had about as much of this as I could take, so I threw a warning glance at the other three and said, "Mike, come on, I want to show you our den." I gently guided him by his left arm and he followed without any resistance. By now I was positive that he was ready for this to end.
Our den has a desk and two leather chairs that more or less face each other, that's were I sat Mike. I took his beer away from him, set it on the sideboard, then poured us each three fingers of Jack Daniel's. I figured we'd both need it. Mike took a large grateful gulp of his.
I could feel the pain this guy was in, so I spoke gently. "When you brought Christopher home, did you ever go into his bedroom late at night and promise him that he'd never have to worry, that you would take care of everything? That no matter what happened, you'd be there for him?" He looked like he wanted to die, but nodded yes.
"Every dad does that…but that was long before this. Chris was normal then." His voice was flat.
"When you brought those babies home, Robert and then Christopher, was there anything more important in your life than them?"
"He wasn't a… homosexual then." Then much louder, "A fucking… God, I was about to say faggot." He looked up at me and spoke very quietly. "I never use words like that."
"You know, there a lot of possible reasons for the way you're feeling towards your son, but personally, I don't think it really matters. In my mind, the only thing that matters is when you had that kid you made a commitment and it wasn't contingent on how he lived his life.
"And, Mike, as far as his being a faggot, do you really think that he asked to be one? Who the fuck would? Who would want to put up with all the shit?"
"You seem to be doing okay." His voice was sarcastic.
"I'm doing okay because of David. It was just dumb luck that I happened to fall in love with the most decent person on the planet. Not many are as lucky."
"So, you're telling me that's it's unlikely that I can even expect that for Christopher." It was a statement.
"You couldn't expect that if he was straight!" We were staring at each other. "Life is a fucking crap shoot whether you're straight or gay. Look, I don't have to tell you that life can be total shit." I waited for him to say something, but he was just staring down at his drink. "But, Mike… when you're trying to deal day in and day out with some of the most difficult, confusing, painful shit that there is," then very, very softly, "and your dad, the person you need the most, won't even speak to you."
There were tears forming in Mike's eyes, but he hadn't moved a muscle. "Please don't, Mark… I don't know how much…"
"Mike, what kind of emotional price are you paying to keep this grudge against your son going?" I continued to speak very softly. "Mike, he's your baby." Mike brought his right hand up to his forehead to cover his eyes. "He's your fucking little boy… who you made a promise to."
Mike was slowly shaking his head with his hand still covering his eyes.
"You know and I know that you want this to end. I know that Chris can't change the way God made him… so, buddy, that only leaves you. Nobody is asking you to approve of anything. But man… don't throw your boy away… don't lose him because of fucking words."
I stood up and got the portable phone off of the desk, then knelt by Mike. As I was punching in Chris's phone number I said. "Mike, your son needs you… more than he ever has." I handed him the phone and he looked at me with a lost look. "Be a man… talk to your son. It's what a dad is supposed to do." As I walked away I could hear a voice come from the phone.
I walked down the hall into the kitchen just as it hit me. My legs felt weak, I sat down on the floor and leaned against the cabinets with my arms on my knees and my head on my arms. Time didn't seem to exist, I knew that I was crying, but I didn't know when it had begun or when it would end. Suddenly I felt a large, warm, wet tongue on the side of my face. I looked up and Joe was sitting next to me looking concerned in a way that only dogs can. I tried to talk to him, but ended up talking through sobs.
"Hi, Joe… fella."
"Marky," Frank had walked into the kitchen, "what the fuck did I do to you?"
"Wasn't you, Frank." I grabbed the dishtowel hanging by the counter and wiped my eyes. "Did they talk?"
"Yeah, kid, Mike if flying out there next week." Then in a few seconds he pointed to the driveway. "I've got Mike and Elizabeth in the car. Fuck, I'm sorry about this."
"Don't be sorry, Frank, it's not your fault." Then, "Remember, Frank, Mike probably needs his dad now too."
"Is there anything I can do to help you?"
I walked over to the sink and splashed cold water on my face. "I'll walk you out and say goodbye to Mike and Elizabeth."
"You don't have…"
"I want to."
I was lying between David's legs with my head on his chest and my arms under him partially supporting my weight. David was stroking my hair.
"Tell me what you're thinking, Mark."
"How fucking lucky you and I are that we have each other." David kissed the top of my head. "I mean really, like Chris, there's no guarantee that he'll find someone or that it'll even work out."
"Roll over." David was pulling himself out from under me.
"Why, whadya want?"
"David, honey, I'm too fucking tired to fuck."
"That's not what I want, just roll over." I did as he asked.
David got between my legs and pulled my gym shorts off and started playing with my cock. He lay down, stretching his body out while lying on his stomach as he flipped my cock back and forth. He looked up at me. "Just playing. You don't mind, do you?" I had to smile.
"It belongs to you."
David slid his tongue inside of the foreskin and slowly moved it around the head of my dick, occasionally he would pull on the foreskin with his lips. My cock was beginning to puff up, but was still quite a ways from being hard. In his right hand he lifted my balls and held them in his hand. "Mmmm mmmm, I love these balls." He started to slowly lick them as they lay in his right hand - he was holding my cock in his left hand. After a while he very gently sucked each ball in turn into his mouth where he kind of swirled it around.
He was very gently jerking me off while he was licking my balls. Then he lifted my balls up as far as they would go, dove down and sucked on my perineum. That got me hard fast.
I looked down at David, his black hair down over his forehead, his emerald green eyes sparkling when they occasionally glanced up at me. He started to suck my cock hard now with the thumb and index finger of his left hand leading his mouth down and following it up with a slight twisting action. I was beginning to thrust my hips counter to the direction of David's mouth as the intensity of the blow job increased. He was on his knees now so that he would have the leverage and balance he needed to lightly squeeze my balls with his right hand and jerk me off with his left as he blew me. I was getting pretty close to cumming when David started to deeply massage my perineum with his right thumb - that sent me over the edge. I moaned "Oh shit!" and looked down at him. He had my cock aimed at his face with his mouth open as the first shots hit him high on his forehead, then he took my shooting cock into his mouth and sucked on it. My ass came about three feet off the bed with the intensity of it. I grabbed his head and held it for a moment as I fucked his mouth for the last few moments while he sucked me dry, my body spasming with aftershocks.
When I got my breath back, I sat up and looked at David, who was half sitting, half lying between my legs with cum running down his face, his mouth open as he tried to catch his breath. I held my hands up and pushed one finger down like I was taking a picture with a camera. "That's a shot for the Christmas cards."
David laughed. "It's your cum, you should be licking it off."
"Yuck! How about Kleenex instead?" I said as I reached for them.
I took a handful of tissues and cleaned David up as he regained his strength. When I had him looking… well, not so cum drenched, I pulled him down with me onto the bed.
David started on his side of the bed, but ended up kinda lying on me, and we kissed in that position.
"Do ya love me even when I act like a slut?"
"I don't think the slut thing applies when you do it with your lover, but yes, I'll love you always, under any and every circumstance."
I was half leaning against the headboard of the bed and David was snuggled in my arms.
"How is Frank handling this, David?"
"Better than everyone else as far as I'm concerned. He's worried about you though. He feels like he asked too much of you. More than he had a right to."
"Of us, you mean." Then, "I don't feel that way, do you?"
"No. I mean, I think… well, I think we'd both do the same thing for somebody that didn't have Franks position, like just a friend."
"Yeah, me too. In which case I'd like to use you."
David turned his head and looked up at me. "Use me, baby, use me."
"I want to use you to back channel to Frank, so that he knows this wasn't some big deal that he has to feel guilty about. I mean, I could talk to him at the office, but sometimes people will believe things from a third party before the person involved. I don't want this to become a big deal that interferes with work."
"No problem, leave it to me."
I buried my face in David's neck and inhaled his scent. Like always, it slammed into that part of my brain where the memory of good things is stored and radiated out from there. "God, I love the way you smell!"
David giggled. "There's probably still cum in my hair."
"You ready for sleep?"
"Where's your hound?"
David held up a hand to indicate 'watch this' and said very quietly, "Joe." Joe's gray furred head rose slowly above the edge of the bed, staring at David.
David said, "Come on, Joe," and the dog jumped up on the bed and lay at David's feet, his tail beating rhythmically on the bedspread.
I turned off the light and we snuggled into our usual falling asleep position of me spooning David.
I kissed his neck. "Love you."
He tightened his grip on my arm for a moment. "Me, too, you."