Castle Roland


by Terry



Posted: N/A

Where it came from it wasn't sure. Well actually, it didn't know. Day after day, it just immersed itself into wherever it went. No strings, no ropes, no ties, it wandered aimlessly from one situation to another. Its thoughts were not of survival, but to just keep moving.

In thoughts, at one time maybe it had kin, a mother, maybe even a father… all supposition… but maybe it wasn't. Maybe a relative was out there somewhere waiting. No one knew or would care for a nobody. Probably not even existing, just an abomination. Age, though never known, was something that he had no inclination about, but did wonder as to how many years it had moved around, leaving no imprint of its existence. As time evolved and moved forward, it had an urge to realise its years, if only to resolve issues of time.

A ghost would leave an impression on its surroundings. A spirit could and would affiliate with its surroundings, blend in if you will, but having no more ability in movement than to glide around at will.

Having no recognisable form, be that male or female, boy or girl, and no conceivable shape. A spirit seemed the logical type of being. Sight and sound were as logical a part of its journey as being in perpetual motion… stopping only to admire. Food and drink were not a luxury required, though other creatures and forms thrived on it.

As day turned over to night, it again wanders aimlessly. Nowhere in particular, just to wander with the process of observing, looking at life, living from another prospective. Was it alive, dead, if any or either applied to it at all. Sometimes, when it was hovering over or below, its thoughts, if that's what they were, would come to it with bursts of images of a past… maybe even a present. Having little knowledge of what they meant or associated with. A thought could be happy, sad, even hurtful, but what they meant wasn't known.

The movements it made were a cameo, as in water. The balance of water as it moved from the centre of a pool to the edge. A ripple with a smooth undertone, but when still, a mirror image of what was around it. So perfect in its symmetry; the insects and the wildlife thought to use it as nature intended without the inkling of anything more than the original object.

Time moved with no haste. Time could as it wished, go fast, go slow, but was unknown to itself as either one. As it neared a place of light, it watched as a sparkle came into view. Viewing the anomaly, it saw what looked like water. Seeing what it thought of as a being sitting up against a wall. It looked closer and saw that water was dripping from the small beings' eyes. Whatever the being was doing, it was sure it did not like it.

The child looked up with shock. "Who are you," more of a statement than a question. The child cringed, then pulled what seemed another being close and held it tight.

This was new. Stopping and looking at the thing that now sat upright and very stiff. With no reaction, it stared deeply, longingly even at what it might consider inferior. The beings were identical in stature, build, and construction; though the one being held was somewhat smaller.

Without speech, it could give no precise answer. This creation could do what no other could master - see its invisibility. It watched closely as the child crouched a little before sitting upright again.

A little more apprehensive, the being again asked, "Who are you?" Whatever the child was clinging too also moved, raising its head to view what was in front of it. With some differences in size, stature, even weight, stood a replica of its self. Never seeing this before, having no name for the condition, only that they were identical. In time, what it saw it would learn were twins.

As of itself, in time it would learn that he was on the verge of becoming human. Precisely - a child. A child as of yet unborn. Wandering, only as in mind. Memories were being made for a future that it would see, but not realise. What it viewed in sight could be itself.

As of the present, it was itself separated only by adult formalities. Without any further reply it was gone with no concern… moving on with little or no reason - perpetual motion - a never ending cycle.

It wandered aimlessly into what resembled another place, feeling lost. This being a feeling never to this degree felt before; being wary, unsure. And for the first time, a type of fear entered its feeling. It continued its trek for another what? Distance was of no consequence to someone or something that did not exist. Wearily, just above the ground hovering with exhaustion. What was happening was in fact, its time had come; it was now able to rest, stay in a place where wandering ceased.

The eight year old brother and sister would go through many good and bad days, happy and sad times, torturous and painful times. Being alone, at times they were forced to live an existence of him caring for his kin. Trevor and Cass would fight for each other as the years went on.

Trevor and Cass were born into a world in conflict. War ravaged. The planet had once outlawed war between nations, but now a catastrophic event was occurring that shook the planet. Nuclear warfare was now on the horizon. An event that would destroy mankind, if the missiles and bombs were released. This was not a time to be born - bring new life into the world.

In a building that resembled a derelict greenhouse, twins came into the world. One boy and one girl. One part of the faction hoped they'd grow up as fighters, warriors. But the same could not be said of the parents, who hoped that they would be given a different part in life - other than fighting conflicts between worlds. Maybe separate it, judge it, halt it even, but not become casualties of that that which was now a non-exclusive club - death… a statistic.

Breast milk was their only feeding. Food was, as fine wine, a luxury that could not be bought. The parents were weak. Their mother was nothing more than a feeding tube for her two children. Their father brought what he could, but times were desperate - they were desperate.

Faith again was the factor for the unrest. Their faith was strong… needed even. It is said that God made man in his own image. If that was correct, would that mean that God would be no less than any man? Would he fight, kill, even hurt as humans do?

Day after day, month after month, a prayer was said to thank their God. Would a righteous God let his followers be hurt? Would he not protect them from the injustice? I fear we look for a resemblance to ourselves for intervention that can no longer resurrect a solution. A God is not part of this world - it's future. He is a plain of calmness, serenity, peace, and loving. But I say that with no disrespect. As God said, again I repeat, 'made man in the image of God'.

"I disagree. Please forgive me, but I am the father of the two most incredible children that faith put on this earth. My wife, though still of life, just hangs on with far more fear for her children than herself. My parting came through a bullet, hard and painful though that was; it could never be more or less painful than having to give up my family to death. I watch over them day after day without seeming to be able to do anything to aid their future."

Sadness wrote all over his face.

"I do not blame my faith for my demise. I blame a lack of knowledge, taking on board what in times gone by happened as a course, a way of life. I blame what happens to mankind on independence. Stupid you may say, but not if thought long about. Maybe if not for independence, we would not be so individual. We could think as one, be our own adversaries."

The man became silent once again.

"My apologies for my weakness. I gave my life for a country, a world, even humanity that will in time repress all its war-like tendencies. But in time, again an aggressor will come around, and again, independence will be threatened. I do not regret giving my life.. I regret giving up my future for the reason and the cause. My future was my family, my wife and my children. Does that not give a false reason to die? My wife will follow me soon. I look for the help of others. I hope with all my heart that my children can survive on what they have been taught. They are young and without experience of life. I say that with a thought of dismay, as to what experience they have, they received by the way they have to live. Should a child not have time to nurture and mature within the boundaries of their ages? My children know not of the beauty of childhood, just the harshness of it."

The twins had been moving around at constant intervals. Never staying in one place longer than it was safe to do so. Growing up was hard and painful. Many a fight did Trevor get into to protect himself and his sister Cass. Though knowing the situation, their father had said little or nothing of fighting to his children, a fear that now haunted him. A constant battle ensued for many childrens' lives for survival

Before their eighth birthday, the twins lost their mother. Now they were alone. Fear being the main factor, Trevor took his sister and hid… hiding from what he knew people would do to two alone youngsters. The people were rough, as was the landscape. With berries, even grass, as food, they survived. Water being plentiful but dirty was their only refreshment.

Trevor at night would have dreams, flashbacks to places he knew not of, of people not known, but places he thought looked like heaven compared to where he was now - this place he was living in. Dreams can be uplifting, even a cause to continue to go on. But dreams had to stay aloof, as the situation they were in was a reality, not a make believe. Prayers were not constant, but an occasional thought.

As daylight evaporated, a light surrounded the boy. Not a blinding light, but a light just the same… his sister unaware of the glow. A voice from above came into his thoughts.

"Son, what is it that you ask of me?"

"Sir?" Then again, looking fearful, hesitant into the glow. "I ask for safety on our journey."

"Son, what do you wish of your future?" The boy Looked around, encapsulated with fear of the unknown. "What be of your future?"

"Sir, my future has yet to be seen. To be answered, it is unknown."

"Son, your future is in your hands. Tell me what you would have to access your future?"

Without any thought, "I have no future. If I held a future, I would without cause give it to my kin, my sister. She has hurt and fears to be taken away... for her to be safe... "

"What of yourself?"

"Sir, my sister is weak, she cannot go on without some kindness. I give her all I can, but it seems not enough. Without a word she endures what is bad. I wish her to have, as you say, a future. If you cannot give her that, then I will keep her at my side till we can no longer act to stay alive."

"Please forgive me, but you wish your sister to be cared for?"

"If she wishes so. Yes."

"You wish her to be gone?"

"Sir, you play mind games with me. Since my parents died," a tear formed on his cheek, "my life has been Cass. I love her enough to let her go. Let her go to a better place. A better life. A future. Please excuse us, Sir, but we need to rest, we have travelled all day with little or no rest."

"Please forgive me, I wished to hear the truthfulness of your words. Your father was right, you have no thoughts for your life, only for your fellow man. For yourself I can give you a freedom, both of you." The Father was giving him a proposition, but the boy completely misinterpreted what had been offered. A freedom from their hardship. This life.

"I beg you, Sir, I have nothing to give. Cass could give as a mother, even as she is now, a child, but I will keep her at my side till death parts us."

The Father couldn't reconcile with the child at what had been offered. The child had to give himself without cost.

Day came quickly and the conversation ended. Was he again dreaming? Without complaint, they were up and gone… again, as a pair they started their trudge to eat, drink, and survive.

The day at times went painfully slow… searching, existing. As night drew in, they eventually found a place to bed down. As they entered a broken down building, they saw that a figure lay on an old settee. The man looked worn out, dirty and emancipated. Trevor walked over to him with the hope of maybe helping him. "Sir, are you well?"

No answer was forth-coming. Again he asked, with no different an outcome. Trevor got up, looking for anything he could, to cover the man; finding an old curtain, he wrapped the figure that can only be described as a beaten soul up as tight as he dare without distressing him. "Thank you, son," was the weak sounding reply. With no more said, both children found a place to lie. Occasionally, they would look over towards the man, checking on his welfare, which at a glance did not look good.

That night saw Trevor stay with vision locked on the man, occasionally getting up to physically check on him. In the early hours of the night, the air became damp as the weather became more and more unsettled. Snow started to fall, mildly covering the occupants of the sparsely attired building.

Sometime during the night the temperature dropped to a concern - reversing their fortunes. The man slept through the tragedy that was unfolding around him - the boy not wishing to remove the covering from the man. As the night progressed, Cass slowly became gripped by the cold. Trevor, sensing distress, wrapped himself tightly around his sister trying to keep her warm.

As morning broke, the man rose from his sleep. Stretching, he looked at the children and without compassion departed without looking back. The twins had lived as two, and now had departed as two… a waste. Tragedy had again struck with no conscience or reason. Both lay statuesque, white with the cold, holding each other with a grace that looked so peaceful and warm.

Feeling listless, rising again, starting again, its never ending journey. Feeling was not a sense of having at any time, but feeling different to the point of what a being would call sick. Again it stopped, as if to gain some energy. Tired? Abominations do not get tired. Spirits do not weaken.

After sometime of stopping, again it started its journey. Reaching the canal bridge, it glided over it with a lot more energy than was necessary. A thin layer of ice covered the brim of the water, making it sparkle as the rising sun hit its edge.

Trevor and Cass were for all intense and purposes asleep. They looked so peaceful, it would be hard to assume anything else. Slowly they were woken.

The twins gave a shudder as the cold worked away from their bodies. Looking at each other, then at their surroundings, they again shuddered. A man walked over to them smiling. "Good morning." Again, the twins gave another lost look, their expression turning to fear. The man again edged a little closer, still smiling as he wrapped his arms around each of them. Feeling warm and comforted, they smiled at the man.

"Hello, Sir, may I help you?"

"No, my Son, I am here to help you."

"With no disrespect, Sir, how can you help us?"

With a look of sorrow, "Son you are home… your new home."His reaction said that Trevor knew his fate. A tear slipped from his eyes as the peace gave him a warm feeling.

He turned to Cass, "We're safe, Cass, we're safe." His sister, not understanding, looked intently at her brother. "We're in heaven." The realisation hit home as tears flooded the child's eyes. She held her brother tightly in both fear and joy.

The young girl raised her head, looked at Trevor, then the man. "Are you, Jesus?"

"Yes, I am child. Come with me, come see the other boys and girls. They walked slowly up to the Golden Gates and waited for Peter to open them. Stepping inside, they saw there their mum and dad waiting with open arms to greet them. They ran over, no words spoken.

Sometime later, a heavyset man came over, smiling with a jest. "Hello, there. It seems we have new visitors." The children, Trevor and Cass, who were talking to their parents a mile a minute, looked up to see the smiling man. "You must be, Trevor, and you are, mm?"

"Cass," the girl said excitedly"

"Ahh yes, Cass."

As if to add mystery to what had transpired, another man walked towards the pair. Trevor recognised the man instantly. "Yes, son, I thank you for your concern and assure you the same will be returned," then left with Trevor looking on.

"Son, your time on earth would now be a memory. You are now a spirit of this realm, the realm of freedom and light. Go and spend some time with your kin; your happiness is now assured."

Wounds, be that of mind or body, of both children and parents began to heal, giving life to the inner sanctum that is the soul. The weeks gave over to months, the healing now refreshed, giving a new proposal of how their future would now go and in which direction. Time would give over to life, leaving a future to grow and prosper in their quest.

Cass would now be re-born. What would not be known to her was that her nearly exact double would be without his sister, but back with his parents in his own little piece of heaven. He could, at will, enter her world in a different form to what was Trevor, in another family - twins no more.

Drifting, seemingly feeling numb. Maybe its wandering days were over. Feeling tight and enclosed, movement not its own, being moved, whether that be willingly. Reaching a passage warm and soft, he screamed to the heavens as he was pulled, alive and kicking from what was his place of sanctuary.

From this day on, the wanderer would now have a body to go with his memories, with the thoughts he'd had before his birth. In time, those memories would come back to him in dreams. The world he would be born into would be different to his former uninhibited world. This world could be cruel, and if to be believed, unending, but that would be unknown to him. At least for the time being...

Two living organs, one having what would be living memories; as of the other, who's memories of what were unknown, but seen would now be joined to give the world some experiences of their own. Two single entities would grow into human beings with one force. Times would remind them of such as their futures established themselves. Two souls would in time work as one.

This union, as time goes by, would be a testament to the living and a future of the unknown.