I scared myself this morning. I didnt know where I was when I woke up. I was in the bathroom. I dont know how I got there. Guess I sleep walked. I never did that before. My lover called out to me from bed, but I didnt recognize the voice at first. It startled me. I dont know why Im sleep walking. Am I trying to get away from something? To escape? Or am I walking toward something? Something I need or want? I dont know.
I couldnt believe Danny had kept his arm around me that whole time. When we got up, we spent the rest of the day learning how to be friends again. It was hard for me. I mean, Id been mad at him for three months, and now all of a sudden I was supposed to be his friend again. But he didnt act any differently. He just sort of picked up where we left off.
I went home that night to a peaceful house. At breakfast the next morning, I was surprised because my dad hadnt left for work yet. He and mom were at the table having coffee when I came out.
"Dad, what are you doing still here?" I asked.
"Justin," dad said, "we need to talk to you."
I hated the sound of that. I knew what was coming. Id seen it coming for months now.
"Justin, sweetheart," mom said. "Im....were really sorry for putting you through what we have."
"Son," said dad, "were going to try to make things better. Mom and I are going to see a marriage counselor. Were going to try to work this out."
Thats not what I had expected. I was so happy I jumped up and gave them both a hug. I didnt know what to say, except, "Oh, my god, thats soooo great. I was afraid you were going to tell me youre getting a divorce! Thats fantastic. Thanks, mom. Thanks, dad."
See, I never doubted that they loved me. They just got so wrapped up in their own problems that they forgot about me sometimes. We talked for a while as I ate my frosted shredded wheat. They told me that, although the marriage counseling was for them, I would be required to see the counselor now and then too. I wasnt too sure about that. I had some issues that I didnt really want to broadcast right then.
After breakfast, as my parents left for the counselors, I leaped onto my bike, tore down the driveway, and flew a few houses down to Dannys.
"Guess what," I shouted as I ran in. Dannys mom was drinking coffee at the table. Danny came out wearing only shorts when he heard me.
"Mom and dad are going to a marriage counselor," I said with joy. "Maybe things will get better."
"Oh, sweetheart, I hope so," Dannys mom said, giving me a kiss on the forehead.
"Wow, thats great," Danny said. "I really hope thingsll work out for you." It was then that I noticed he was nearly naked. He looked fantastic. I followed him back into his room.
"So, ya wanna do anything special today?" he asked. He went to his closet and picked out a shirt. "Toss me a pair of socks out of my top drawer, would you?" he asked.
"I dunno," I said, fishing out some socks. "How about a movie? I wanna see Star Wars again."
"Geez, youve seen that like four times already."
"Five," I said. "I went once with Becky. She thinks Anakin is cute."
"Five. Thisll make six."
"I know. I just love the movie."
"Okay, okay. Lets go downtown and mess around for a while. Then we can just go across the street to the theater when it opens."
We both kissed his mom good-bye, told her where we were going, and said wed be home after the movie.
The theater was about two miles away, but an easy ride on our bikes. Only one really busy street, and no joggers. We could talk during the ride. But the first part was spent in silence.
"Whatre you thinking about?" Danny said. It surprised me, cuz he usually wasnt the one to start talking.
"You," I said.
"Not like that. I mean, how you can be so comfortable knowing you are gay? I mean, how do you know for sure?"
"I just do, Justin. I mean, I like looking at boys, I like being with boys. I want to be held by a boy. I like boys plumbing..." He smiled.
"Whoa, okay, bud. But have you ever TRIED a girl?"
"What? You never told me."
"Um, I know," he said sheepishly. "I never did. It was about a year ago, just after my 14th birthday. I had a date with Wendy Sikes."
We stopped for a traffic light. I just looked at him.
"Well, we went to a movie, and then we were gonna walk back to her place and her folks were gonna take me home. On the way we walked through this park. She said she didnt have to be home for another 45 minutes, and we sat on a bench hidden in a grove of trees. There wasnt anyone else around."
The light changed, but I was too into the story to start riding again.
"So we sat on this bench and just started talking. You know, about school, people in class, what we were doing over the summer. Stuff like that. We were holding hands, and she just kept scooting closer to me. I mean, I already knew about liking boys, but hey, when the opportunity presents itself..."
He blushed a little
"So, anyway, we talked about 15 minutes and she just sort of leans in and kisses me. So I kiss her back. And we started making out. Tongue and all. Weird. I mean, I didnt know she liked me at all til that date. So we end up laying down on this bench kissing and kissing. And you know what? I was scared to death. I got hard and all, but I realized I wasnt thinking about her. I mean, I was, but not sexually. Just the tongue thing. I kept thinking about guys, though. I didnt want to have sex with her, and I dont think she wanted sex either. It was just fun, but I wasnt into it. I like boys."
I glanced around, but there was no one else on the street just then.
"Well you didnt give yourself much of a chance."
"Geez, Justin," (he liked saying that as much as I liked "Dammit, Danny") "get your head on straight. I mean, you ever go out for the football team?"
"Uh, no. Whats that got to do with plumbing?"
"Shut up. Why didnt you?
"Cuz I hate football."
"How do you know? You never tried it."
"I can SEE it. I dont like it. I like baseba....."
"Uh-huh. Shouldnt you give football a chance?" he said smugly.
"Well, its hardly the same thing. My life isnt going to be a living hell just cuz I dont like football."
"Well, I dont like girls. Not to date or fuck, anyway. I like lots of girls, just not that way."
The light had changed about a dozen times, and finally we started riding again, this time in silence. I had a lot to digest.
We got to the theater, paid for the movie, bought popcorn and pop and settled in. Danny hit me once on the arm when I was reciting the dialog. But mostly we just enjoyed the picture. Near the end, I was sitting with my hand on the armrest between us, and he moved his hand over to mine. He just brushed against my hand, but then he left his there. I moved my hand slightly, and he pulled his back right away.
"Sorry," he whispered. He didnt look at me. But I looked at him. I reached my hand out and put my index finger in his palm, and he closed his hand around it.
Riding back home in silence. At that same stoplight he said, "You didnt have to do that. I meant it -- I wont bother you that way again."
"I know. Were still friends."
We got home and decided to shoot some hoops. I went home for dinner, and it was great. Peace had descended on our house. I spent the night at home just hanging with the rents. I know, that sounds like a wasted night for some of you, but just a few days before I had been on the verge of losing them. I kind of enjoyed it.
The next day I mowed the lawn, did some chores around the house, and went over to see what Danny was up to. His mom had him painting the guest room downstairs.
"Well, look what you got me into," he said from the ladder.
"Dammit, Danny, how the hell can you blame this on me?" I asked.
"Mom said she didnt notice how dingy the paint was till she came down here with you the other night."
"Oh, sure. Try to lay that on me. What a lame piece of shit."
He looked down at me with the paintbrush in his hand, and swiped it across my nose.
"You prick," I said. I pulled the top of his athletic sock and leaned in to wipe my nose.
"Hey, youll stretch the top out. Knock it off."
"Make me," I challenged, laughing.
"Ill dump this whole bucket of pain on you."
"Oooooo, Im scared. Then youll just have to spend the next year of your life getting paint out of the carpet," I taunted. "Cmon, make me a real threat."
He set the bucket down, and quick as a flash leaped onto me from the ladder. He tackled me to the ground and we started rolling around, trying to avoid hitting the ladder and knocking the paint over. After about 10 minutes my strength was leaving fast, and he rolled me onto my back, pinned my shoulders and declared himself the winner. He sat up straddling my waist.
"Ha ha ha!" He sounded like a pirate. Then he leaned forward and put his hands on my shoulders. "Gotcha, big boy," he said. He gazed into my eyes and started moving his butt around. My cock started to get hard. But as soon as he felt the movement he got a scared look in his eyes, that same look he had the day he told me he was gay. He jumped off me and out the room into the basement hallway.
"Whatd I do?" I asked.
"You didnt. I did. Im soo sorry, Justin. I said Id never do that, and now Ive done it twice in two days. Man, Im really sorry." He was starting to sniffle.
"Hey, bud, its okay." I got up and put my arm around his shoulder but he shrugged it off and stepped away. This time I wrapped both arms round him from behind in a big bear hug.
"But maybe I liked it."
"Dont fuck with me, Justin. Last time you weirded out on me. I cant stand that. Dont confuse me."
"Danny, Im confused, too. I was mad cuz you did it to me in public, and I was scared. Danny, I loved the feeling. Three months ago I said something to you. I said I love you. What came after that was horrible, for both of us." I drew him tighter against me, my hands meeting against his soft belly. "But, Danny, I know now that your love for me is limitless, and that youd love me even if I didnt love you back." I leaned my head next to his right ear and whispered, "And that wouldnt be fair, bud. I love you back, Danny."
"What about Becky?"
"Yeah, well, about Becky." I took a deep breath. "You must have caught us kissing behind the shed. We did that for a while. I even got a good feel. But it didnt take. I tried so hard to be passionate, but she knew. She knew, Danny, that I wasnt into it. I thought about you." I licked his ear. Where the hell did that come from?
Dannys not real ticklish, but the ear thing got him, and he giggled. He squirmed to get away and in doing so rubbed his butt across my cock again. I was already hard.
I loosened my grip on him and he turned around, putting his arms around my neck.
"Im scared, Justin."
"That Ill do something to make you mad, and lose you again. I cant take that chance. I couldnt stand it."
I looked into his eyes and melted. Most of me. Part of me didnt melt. Part of me was hard as rock. He looked back at me, but didnt make a move. It was up to me. Danny wasnt going to do anything. It was my choice.
Choices. What a bitch. You make a choice like this, its hard to go back. If I released him and wiggled out of his hold, my choice would be to reject that kind of love. I could tell him I loved him as a friend, but that would be all. Id never be able to kiss him, cuddle him, hold him as a lover. Let alone get another killer blow job from him. It wouldnt be right. It wouldnt be fair to him. Let him go, and just be friends.
If I hesitated too long here, if I broke the gaze with his eyes, it would be the same. He would know, and hed pull away. It would be my signal to him to give up on me as a lover.
If I leaned in and kissed him, that was pretty final, too. Our fights from then on would be as lovers. Dating women would be taboo, unless we broke up. I would be Dannys and he would be mine. And we would have to live with those consequences. From then on wed be a couple, monogamous, devoted. Wed have to tell our parents eventually. Kids at school might find out, or figure our, what we were doing, and then...oh, I shuddered mentally.
But I was taking too long here, and Danny would sense my hesitation. And that would be as good as saying its over. Not to decide was to decide. I HAD to do something.
I moved. Danny felt it. He started to tear up.
I moved. Danny felt it and began to react to it.
And our lips met in the middle.
With his foot Danny quietly kicked the door closed as I exhaled, then inhaled, not breaking the kiss, pulling him tighter against me. I grabbed the back of his head, my fingers running through his mussed dark hair. He did the same to me. We both breathed, but didnt break the kiss. I felt his lips part, and his tongue lick my lips. I parted mine and his tongue flashed into my mouth, exploring it all over, wrestling with my tongue, which was trying to work its way into Dannys mouth. The long unbroken kiss lasted longer, each of us pulling the other harder against us, moaning a little with each breath, which came faster and faster. We were grinding our loins into each other, squeezing each other as if trying to melt into the other person.
The kiss got longer as our jaws worked and our tongues danced. Still kissing, we moved our feet and began to slowly spin. We bumped against the ladder and gasped, but didnt break the kiss. Luckily, the paint can stayed put. Our slow tarantella continued. My nipples got erect, and I dont think my cock was EVER harder than at that moment, not even when Danny took me in his mouth so long ago. Our noses touched as our mouths worked against each other. I had a grip on the hair on the back of his head. We sucked on each others tongues. I opened my mouth as wide as it would go and Danny worked his tongue even further in. My tongue brushed his teeth, the sides of his cheeks. It seemed as if steam was rising from us. My heart pounded in my chest. I saw red in my closed eyes. We shuffled our feet, ground our cocks, pulled ourselves even tighter, until the passion was so overwhelming I felt myself start to slip into another dimension. My muscles ached from the grip I had on Danny -- on my lover. My knees got weak, and I knew it was time. I broke the kiss. But immediately I pulled his head next to mine and rested it on my shoulder, while I rested mine on his shoulder. I kissed his cheek, his neck, his ear, his shoulder, his hair, his cheek, and worked my way around to his eyes, his nose, his forehead.
"I love you, Danny," I breathed into his ear. "I love you, I love you. I want you. For the rest of my life I want you. Be my lover, Danny. Be my best friend and my lover."
"Its just your hormones (kiss) talking, Justin. I (kiss) dont want us to hurt each other."
"No, Danny. (Kiss) Its me talking." I held his face away from mine. Just above a whisper I said, "Ive thought about this. When you were lying next to me the yesterday, when we held hands in the movie, when we went up to the swimming hole and we made up, Danny, I knew I needed you. I couldnt admit it to myself. Danny, my parents are in counseling, things are looking good for me, and I want you with me. Not just as a friend. I mean, Id settle for that if thats what you want. But I need you always. I need to be closer to you than a friend. We need to take that next step."
We met again with our lips and tried to suck each others tonsils out. My hands worked their way under his t-shirt, and I felt the silky-smooth skin on his back. His hands found the back pockets of my shorts and he kneaded my butt and pulled me into him. The passion was so high in that room a match would have set off an explosion. We kissed and kissed. Long ones, short ones, not even stopping for full breaths before we were at it again. I needed him soooo badly.
"Justin, weve gotta stop."
"No, Danny. We did once and we stayed apart three months."
"No, man, we gotta stop. My mom could come down any time to check on my painting. She cant catch us like this."
"I cant let you go."
He wouldnt let me kiss him anymore. My heart began to slow down. You know what one of my doctors told me? The lips are chock full of nerve endings and receptors. And a lot of them are tied to the hormonal system. Thats way kissing is so fun -- it stimulates all those nerve endings. They, in turn, trigger the body to release hormones, and you get all hot and bothered. Hehehehe. Thats what happened. But I wanted it to happen. Then, when he stopped kissing me, the stimulation stopped.
"Youre right," I admitted grudgingly. "Okay."
I drew little circles around his nipples through his shirt. I sat down on the bed, and he came over to me. I kissed his bellybutton through his shirt.
"Man, stop it."
"Boys!" Mrs. Shaw hollered from upstairs. "Ive gotta run Charlie downtown and pick up some things. Ill be gone a couple of hours. Theres some cookies up here for when you get done, Danny." And she was out the door! Whoa! Answered prayers.
As soon as we heard the car back out, we were all over each other. I tugged his shirt up over his head, breaking the kiss only long enough to pull it past our lips. My thumbs found his nipples, which were already hard. I didnt maul them, I just lightly teased them. Within moments he was moaning into my mouth. I flicked the hard little points with the tips of my index fingers, then rubbed around with my thumbs, then teased lightly. He was pressing his lips so tightly against mine, trying to force his way into my mouth.
But his hands were busy, too. They were at my waist, just under my shirt, teasing my bellybutton. He worked his hands lower, and began to open the top button on my shorts, then quickly unzipped the fly. Then he touched me. There was a wet spot on my shorts, but he didnt hesitate. He dug into the opening and pulled out my hard five inches.
I pulled him back for another kiss. His hands were at the bottom of my shirt, trying to work it over my head, when all of a sudden, it ripped. He literally tore my shirt off me. He sucked my right nipple into his mouth almost violently, nibbling on it, trying to make it stand upright. It did and he moved to the other. I didnt even notice that the had worked my shorts off and my boxers halfway to my knees. I tried to move, but only stumbled, and fell backward onto the bed.
He finished taking my shorts off, pulling my shoes and socks off at the same time. I was naked before him, and then he fell onto me. I grabbed his ass in my hands and kneaded those magnificent globes. He attacked my nipples again, first getting one wet then moving to the other, while sliding his thumb against the wet one. I worked a hand under the leg of his shorts and felt the soft skin of his perfect firm butt. It wasnt enough. I wrapped my arms around him and flipped the two of us over, so now he was on the bottom. I nibbled his nipples carefully, with urgency, sucking them into my mouth one at a time, lightly rubbing my teeth over them. With my tongue I drew a pattern between them, then slowly down his chest. I stopped and kissed the softness of his belly, and circled his belly button. I nibbled at it, too, a perfect innie, cute, slightly elongated horizontally. He wasnt ticklish, but he did draw his breath in, making his stomach tighten. Then I was at his shorts. They were sports shorts, so there was no snap or zipper. I put my hands on either side of them, and pulled them and his boxers off in one motion, along with his shoes and socks.
Although I had masturbated him three months ago, I had never seen him hard naked. His cock was the same length as mine, about five inches, and just slightly thicker. His head wasnt mushroomed as mine was, but narrowed almost like an arrow. I held it in my hand, and recalled the morning I had made him cum. It had been a shuddering orgasm. I recalled a few nights later when, trusting me beyond belief, he lowered his head over my penis and caressed me with his tongue to a height I wondered if Id ever repeat. I looked at this wonderful sight before me, I looked at his belly button, at his Adams apple, at his left cheek, at his eyes. He was breathing hard, and he stared at me with a steady gaze, those blue eyes burning with need. He nodded ever so slightly, and his fingers clawed at the bedspread.
I did. I lowered my head toward his penis, with a tiny drop of precum on the end. With my tongue, I gently touched the tip, and tasted my best friend for the first time. It was odd, wonderful, bitter and sweet. It was something I knew I wanted over and over. I took the whole head in my mouth, remembering to cover my teeth with my lips, but unsure what to do after that. I took about half of him into my mouth, then pulled back, sucking gently. One hand held his cock, but my other hand played with his navel. Then I thought of what I liked. I moved my hand to his balls, still sucking. I licked his cock, that sensitive spot on the underside just below the head. He moaned and began playing with his nipples. He drew his knees up and placed his feet beside my head. I slowly took more of him in my mouth, and again backed off, sucking. I pulled gently on his balls as I began to speed up on his cock. Then I let a finger drift below his balls, to the muscle underneath. He lifted has ass and thrust his whole cock into my mouth.
I nearly gagged, but I didnt. I sucked him now more urgently. My finger stroked him beneath his balls, and the hand holding his cock began to work up and down, in rhythm with my mouth. He was moaning louder and his ass squirmed.
I cared about nothing else in the world except the ultimate pleasure of Danny. If I could do to him half of what he had done to me, I thought it would be wonderful. His hips moved up and down on the bed, making it squeak slightly.
I sucked harder, swirled my tongue around the head as I pulled back, then slid it along the underside as I went down again, this time till my nose hit his curly dark pubic hairs. Up and down and he writhed in ecstacy. I was so happy I could make him feel this way.
My finger went lower and teased his pucker, and he almost shouted, "Jesus, Justin, omigod, Im gonna cum in a minute, bud." I only intensified my effort, went back to stoking the muscle below his balls, tightened my hand on his cock and used my tongue vigorously as I worked up and down. His hip thrusts met me and I was almost thrown off he was so out of control.
A few more strokes with my finger, my hand and my mouth. I could feel his balls tighten. I saw his toes grab the bedspread out of the corner of my eye. I felt his lift his ass high off the bed, and I heard a high pitched yell swell from nowhere till it reached a crescendo at the same time a spurt of hot, bittersweet liquid shot against the back of my throat. I pulled off a little so I could take more, and he spurted into my mouth as I stroked behind his balls, then gently squeezed them.
"Uuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnggggggggghhhhhhhhh," was the only sound from Danny. It was just a long, drawn out moan, and when he ran out of breath he inhaled and did it again. I held him in my mouth till the spurts subsided, then, lips tight, pulled off. I kissed the underside base of his cock and gently licked his balls. It made him shudder.
He lay there, eyes tightly closed, as I worked my way back up kissing him. His navel, his chest, his nipples. Each time, a sharp inhale, followed by a low moan. I covered him with my naked body, my hard cock against his softening one, and again wrapped my arms around him. I wanted to literally squeeze the last drops of cum out of him.
We lay there for five minutes, and then he came alive. He flipped me over, kissed me hard, and twisted my nipples in his fingers. It was almost painful, but it was soooo erotic. He didnt kiss down my belly, but suddenly knelt between my legs. He put my feet up on his shoulders, and took my cock in his mouth in a single motion.
He held my ass in his hands for support, took me to the base of my penis, and let his tongue play over it. The thumb of one hand found my asshole, and he gently massaged it. I was soo turned on by Dannys orgasm that I knew I wouldnt last as long as he did. He took his mouth off my cock and quickly stuck his thumb in to wet it, then went back to work on me with his mouth. The thumb he put back at my hole, and it felt so good I found myself moving my ass around to try to work it in. He was teasing me with his mouth and his thumb, and I decided to show him who was boss. I pushed down on this thumb, and it popped into me. He massaged it back and forth, and it sent me into another universe. Where he learned his tongue technique I dont know, but between his mouth and his thumb, I began to shiver. My knees squeezed his head and my ass clamped down on his thumb. With it firmly in place, I thrust up into his mouth, and fucked him. I knew I was being rough, but I couldnt help it. The feeling in my stomach and my balls told me I was almost there. One or two more thrusts, against his thumb, into his mouth. Thumb, mouth, thumb, mouth, balls tighten, thumb, mouth, squeeze, big breath, and a shout as the cream raced through my cock into his sweet, hot mouth. And I shouted one thing, over and over, as I came in my lovers mouth.
"O, god, Danny, I love you, I love you, I love you...." over and over as I jetted sweet sperm into him.
We collapsed back onto the bed, exhausted, thrilled, cuddling, and fell into a kiss that had none of the urgency of a while ago. This one was tender, post-orgasmic. This had the love, not the passion. A relationship needs both. Ours had it now. It didnt. We lost that. But we got it back.
We didnt sleep. He held each other. I played with his body, his nipples, his arms. When he brought his leg up and rested the knee on my chest, I reached down and ran my fingers over his toes and in between them.
We finally were able to breath at a normal pace, and we just laid there and kissed. No words were necessary for a while. We could both be silent. Danny broke it.
"Jeez, Justin. Ive never, ever felt like that. Never."
"I know. Me neither. I want to do it to you again and again. I love you."
But the day was slipping by, and we knew Dannys mom would be home. Reluctantly we got up and put our clothes back on. I had to borrow a shirt from Danny. I offered to help him finish painting, since he was hopelessly behind. His mom would wonder what happened if he didnt get a move on.
We painted and talked, but we were avoiding the subject we knew we had to face eventually: school, our friends, and the pitfalls of being gay.
Wed been painting about an hour when his mom came home. She came down to check on us, and when she saw me painting she said, "Justin, thats nice of you to help." Then she noticed I was dressed differently. My torn shirt was in the middle of the room. We forgot about that.
"What happened to your shirt?"
"Uh, well, we took a break and we got to wrestling, and it got torn."
"Oh, thats too bad." Something odd in her voice. No, I was being paranoid. "Well, I bought some Hostess Twinkies if you two want a snack. You know, those cream-filled cakes."
I almost swallowed my heart. Danny was laughing so hard he started to fall backward off the step ladder, and paint spattered everywhere. I burst out, unable to hold it in.
"Not right now, Mom," he choked out. "We had a little snack a while ago. Well just..." he never finished saying it. We were laughing too hard.
Our first mutual love-making was the most special day. I think about it often. It was perfect. They say the first high you get off of cocaine is like that, (I wouldnt know; never tried the stuff) and people keep trying the rest of their addictions to repeat it. But they never do. They never reach that high again, and a lot die trying. Danny and I did reach it again. Many times we did. He was unbeatable.