Ive had the flu. On top of everything else, Ive had the goddam flu. Fever, aches, coughing, everything. I was worthless. I just laid in bed. My lover and his family had to do everything for me. For one particularly miserable day, he even had to help me to the bathroom and prop me up. Fortunately I was so dehydrated I only had to go twice the whole day.
I was feeling much better today, and so I went for a walk. I was just going to go around the block and get some fresh air, but once I started walking I got to feeling stronger. The air was sweet, the isolation of just walking by myself was refreshing, and I was out more than an hour and a half before I decided to start for home. I dont know the area very well around here, so I was a little lost. And as I started to get my bearings, I began to think about not going back. Ive been nothing but a load; a burden. Theyve done everything for me, and Ive done nothing. I cant seem to figure out whats wrong with me. Theyve got to be getting sick of me. I mean, I know about the flu, but the other shit thats been going on thats just weird. Id make their lives a hell of a lot easier if I just left. Walked down the highway and never looked back. Ive done it before; I can do it again. Twice Ive done it. I know I can.
And then suddenly I was back at their door. But I couldnt go in. I stood and stared at the door, but I couldnt move. I must have stood there 10 minutes. And I turned away and started back down the sidewalk. But the door opened, and my lover came running after me. I didnt try to stop him. He put his hands on my shoulders, guided me in a U-turn, and led me back into the house. He put me on the couch, covered me with a blanket and his mom brought me some tea. I hate tea. This tasted good, though.
We woke up the next morning entangled in each other again. But I swear to god we were so sore from the previous day we could hardly touch ourselves, let alone do the fucking bunny routine again. The most we did was smear Vaseline on each others bright red penises and hope for the swelling to go down. We went naked, and while Danny still looked as sexy as ever, there was nothing I really wanted to do about it. We giggled about it all morning. We made toaster waffles for breakfast, and then cleaned up. The rain had stopped over night, and Sunday was a beautifully clear day. About 9:30 the phone rang.
"You guys up yet?" my dad asked.
"Um, weve been up, but we dont wanna be this morning, Mr. Reynolds," Danny said with a big grin on his face.
"Well, you want a ride to church? Were leaving in about 20 minutes." It didnt take long to get to church in our town.
"Uh, yeah, sure, well be ready." After a few more words, he hung up.
I rolled my eyes at him.
"Why the hell did you tell him wed go to church?" I said, guessing what the conversation was about.
"We always go to church. If we didnt, they might suspect something. Besides, its good for the soul. We were bad boys yesterday," he said smiling.
"Heh heh heh. Yeah. I guess." But I really wondered. We didnt bother to shower, but we did put on some decent clothes, and when the car pulled up next to the curb, we climbed in.
The sermon that morning was interesting. It was about God wanting us to be happy. We have a pretty progressive pastor. He doesnt always follow the dictates of the church. I mean, I really paid attention, and he said God wants us to be happy. We need to follow certain rules, like the 10 commandments, and we need to treat others with respect, we need to help those who need it, we need to pray, we need to watch out for our brothers and sisters, and we need to love.
That was it. That was the message that morning. It stayed with me. It has to this day. We went back to Dannys, cleaned up the place a little, and went outside to find our pals and wait for his folks to get home. We shot some hoops with the guys but we were so sore between our legs that we had to stop. Then we rode our bikes to the little store to get some pop. Danny and I were sore as hell still from our adventures yesterday, and I gotta admit, I was a little embarrassed. I think Danny was, too, cuz he wasnt talking about it.
About 3:30 we went to Dannys house. As he came out of the bathroom pulling up his shorts, he said, "Geez, Im still sore."
"Yeah, me too."
"I didnt know love was so painful."
"Love isnt. Sex is. I mean, I know love can be painful, too, I guess, but what we did yesterday was way beyond love."
He sat next to me on the sofa and lay his head on my shoulder, and I put my arms around him
"Danny, I loved so much what we did yesterday. Ive never felt those feelings before. I want to do them more. But, bud, I dont think were gonna be able to do them like that all the time."
"I know, Justin. I keep thinking about that. If we do, were gonna get caught. If we dont, Ill explode. If we tell our parents, theyll put an end to it. I dont know what were gonna do."
I kissed the top of his head, and let the question die unanswered. His folks got home about 4:00, and I went home.
We werent able to see each other much for the next few days, and it damn near killed me. Id fallen in love with Danny. I never knew how much I needed a kiss, a touch. Id learned in just a few days how I wanted to feel him next to me. Damn. I didnt want to be gay. I heard the things that were said about gays. Id said some of them, more out of ignorance and going along with the crowd. Wow. That though scared me. Id probably said some of them in front of Danny. How must that have made him feel? But I loved Danny and what he did for me. I was totally in love with him. And we still hadnt worked out all the details.
There was no place to make love. Not with one parent or another home all the time. Charlie afforded us even less privacy, cuz at age 13, he wanted to hang around with us. And it wasnt all just about sex. Okay, it was mostly about sex, but there was always the shower and my right hand in the mornings. What I wanted was to plant my mouth on Dannys, to hold him in my arms, and feel myself in his arms. And I wanted the sex. After three days it was getting harder (out of the gutter, you) to maintain my composure around Danny. On Thursday afternoon we got a six-on-six ball game together. Danny caught for the other team, and when I came up to bat, he gave me a swat on my butt. Damn near came right then. The little fucker kept saying things like, "Gee, thats a big bat. Do you know what to do with it?" and "Shouldnt you rub it for luck?" and "Good hard wood there, Justin," and stuff like that. I struck out twice and hit a weak blooper to short right field. We both watched the ball floof away, standing at home plate, and Danny said, "Gee, I was hoping to see you cum all the way home." I grabbed him and gave him a noogie, the little prick. At least it gave me an excuse to wrap an arm around him. He didnt struggle much.
School was getting ready to start in ten more days. It seemed like a short summer. It HAD been a short summer, too, since I spent half of it mad at Danny. That sucked. I mean, Id been plain stupid. But the good thing was that my birthday was coming up in one week. I was one of those kids who, in kindergarten, had a birthday and went off to school. So I was one of the youngest kids in the school, cuz I just made the cutoff. But ever since then, my birthday gave everyone something to look forward to. It was the last big celebration before school began, and in the last few years we had really played it up. We usually all went swimming in the afternoon, then to my house for a barbecue, music, a rented movie or two, and a sleep over with Danny, Greg, Kyle and Richie. This year dad told me I could have a dance if I wanted, invite a whole bunch of kids, skip the movie and just rock till midnight. I guess he was feeling good about the marriage and all. So we started planning. I invited the neighborhood, the guys on my ball team, their girl friends, Becky, of course, and some other guys and girls from our class.
I was pumped. Dannys mom said shed make the cake, and then as the list grew she decided shed have to make several cakes. Dad knew some people at a club he belonged to who brought out a pop machine so wed have Coke on tap. He arranged with the pizza place to make a couple of trips with food, we had a ton of chips all set, veggies for the hard core health freaks, and trash bags scattered hopefully around the yard. Wed notified the neighbors about the noise, and dad had a pony keg in the garage so the old folks could come over, too -- sort of his peace offering. Oh, and the day before the party, the five of us guys spent the afternoon stringing up lights. The place was the bomb.
The party started at one at the pool. We damn near took over. Small kids ran for cover. Moms gave us the evil eye. Lifeguards cowered against the fences, helpless to stop the mass of teenage humanity that invaded the pool. Dunking, water fights, high dives, cannonballs, belly-flops, races, Frisbee, you name it. Not everyone was there cuz some had to work, but my birthday had become such an institution that most had already planned for the day off. And fortunately, it was still hot. August in the Midwest is beastly -- the corn thing again -- and the water was the best place in the world to be. Almost.
I climbed onto Dannys shoulders for a round of water fighting, and we took on Kyle and Richie. Here I was, perched on my lovers shoulders, my crotch pressed against the back of his head, him holding my legs and feet, trying to knock Richie off of Kyle. Kyle was about an inch taller than Danny and me, and Richie was about two inches taller. We didnt have a chance. I could tell Danny was distracted cuz he kept pressing his head back against me. I was sure distracted, concentrating more on not falling off than in knocking off Richie. If I fell off Dannys shoulders, the last thing people would see slipping beneath the surface of the water would be my five inch woodie tenting out my bright blue trunks. Who the hell invented this game anyway?
Well, Kyle and Richie won two matches out of three. Danny must have understood, cuz every time I started to fall, he went right down with me, keeping his head in front of my cock. In the changing room it took every ounce of concentration not to have a hard-on, and even then it didnt entirely work. Greg was telling some dopey dirty joke, and I really, really listened to it, and when my cock was least hard I whipped off my trunks, dried quickly, and put on my boxers. I grabbed my shorts, but too late.
"Hey, Justin, you must have liked that one," Greg laughed. But by then I had my shorts pulled up and that comment did its work...I deflated immediately. No one else saw, and let Greg think what he wanted.
The first batch of pizza was waiting as about 30 kids descended on our house after the pool. The DJ started up, and no one danced. You know how it is. We ate. And drank pop. And munched and talked and segregated into the boys side of the yard and the girls side. But after about an hour, one couple got up the nerve to dance, and that sorta broke the ice. Greg danced, and so did Kyle (with Becky) and Richie, and then the next song I grabbed Becky. We danced a couple of dances, and during a slow one she asked, "How are you and Danny getting along?"
"Uh, were getting along fine, why?"
"Nothing, just curious." Right.
About halfway through the party I noticed something. Danny kept touching me. Not in any suspicious way, but every chance he got he touched me. Hed rub my hair, pat me on the shoulder, bump up against me. When we were sitting on a bench eating pizza he let his leg touch mine. Hed touch my elbow when he came up behind me, give me a light punch on the shoulder. He never said anything, never acknowledged it. I guess hed been doing it for years and I just never noticed. Boy, there were a lot of things Id never noticed in the past. And Ill tell you, by the end of the evening, it was getting me turned on something bad. One time I was dancing with some girl -- Wendy Sears, I think -- and he was dancing with someone, and he came up behind me and just touched the back of my knee. Boom. I went down like a ton of cow pies. Splat, right on the dance floor. Thank god Wendy moved fast or I would have brought her down with me. I wasnt mad -- in fact, I laughed along with every one else. They all knew how ticklish I was. But I was getting a little nervous about how to hide my hard-on -- AGAIN -- if it went any further.
About 9:00 the second round of pizza showed up, and we wolfed it down. Then came the birthday cakes. They all sang happy birthday. Danny was right beside me and he had his arm around my shoulder, singing, smiling, joking with everyone there. He was so at ease with everyone. After the second verse (You look like a monkey/And you smell like one, too -- you know) he shouted in my ear, "MAKE A WISH!" I turned and looked at him, and his lips were an inch from mine. There is no magnet more powerful, no force so irresistible, as your lovers lips an inch away. I closed my eyes to block him out, and then tried to look like I was making a wish. And then I blew out the candles, all 15 with one big breath. What I wished for was a few moments alone with Danny so I could kiss him, tell him I loved him, and suck the living juices out his cock till he wilted and shriveled up.
The cake was great. Mrs. Shaw is an excellent baker. There was white cake and chocolate. I had both. Then I opened presents -- my own computer from my folks, some CDs, a couple of neat T-shirts, a new basketball, a batting glove, things like that. Becky Decker gave me a picture frame with hearts on it, but no picture in it. I musta looked at her funny, cuz she just smiled at me. Id already told Danny not to get me anything, cuz I had never got him a present. The music started up, and the dancing began again. It was nearly 11:30 when the DJ said last call. It was a slow song, one of my favorites, "Color My World" by Chicago, and I grabbed Becky and went out to the floor. There were only two or three couples dancing by this time. Danny was sitting on a lawn chair talking with my dad. Every now and then he looked at us, and smiled.
"Nice party," Becky said softly. She had her arms around my neck. She was just a little shorter than I was, but by this time I was dancing barefoot, so we were about the same height.
"Yeah, it was. Thanks for the frame. But theres no picture in it."
"No, its for someone special. Someone you love."
"Youre thinking in the future?" I asked, a little squeakier than I meant.
"I dont think so. I think youre already in love."
"Ha. The only people Ive danced with tonight are you, Cindy, Wendy and Jessica, and from the looks of things, all of you but Wendy is spoken for. And Im not interested in Wendy."
"Are you that blind? Or just in denial?"
"How blind am I?" I was literally starting to sweat.
"I dont really think youre blind at all. But it can wait."
The flute solo was ending and I grabbed onto Becky with all my strength. "Tell me what you know," I said as a tear slipped down my cheek.
"I cant tell you here, but dont worry. I wont tell anyone else. Im just happy for you."
I held on as tight as I could. I knew my world was finished. I mean, Beckys a great girl, but who can keep a secret like this? She hugged me tight, and rubbed my back. Still holding her as if she were a life preserver, I looked up to see Danny staring at me. He had a funny look on his face, and he turned away. Shit. Damn-damn. Hes got the wrong idea. But I couldnt let go.
"Uh, Justin, the songs over," she said softly.
Sigh. "I know. I cant seem to let go."
"Its okay, Justin. Just let go. Its okay."
"Lets go talk."
"I cant. I told my dad to pick me up. Hes probably in your garage right now with your folks."
"Soon. Tomorrow. Meet me at Snyders. I gotta come into town to buy some things for school."
"Okay. What time?"
We were walking around the side of the house to the garage, my hand in hers. I knew it looked bad, but I needed to do this. I saw Danny out of the corner of my eye.
"Two oclock," she said. We met Kyle, and her hand slipped out of mine and into his.
"Two oclock what?" he asked.
"Justin and I are meeting then to chat. Thats all."
"Oh. Is he going to reclaim you?" Kyle asked with a smile.
"Nope," I said, smiling back. "Shes all yours. I just gotta talk to her about...things. Um, advice and all."
Kyle knew we had gone out and were friends. He was okay with it.
Beckys dad was there talking to my folks and some other parents. I stood saying good bye as everybody left, some walking the short distance home, some with their parents, thanking them for coming. They told me it was a great party. Kyle walked Becky out to the car and as her dad turned to say something to my dad, Kyle kissed her quickly. I laughed and Dad tried to suppress a smile, and the two of them managed to finish before Mr. Decker figured it out. I dont think he would have minded, but I think Becky and Kyle wouldnt have kissed with him watching.
Kyle rejoined me in the garage, and the two of us went to the back yard to start cleaning up. Danny, Greg and Richie were already there, hauling garbage bags around putting stuff in. They were joking about some of the new "couples" -- people whod broken off with others and started going with someone else over the summer. Geez, teenage romances are so fickle.
Kyle and I joined in the clean-up. I went over to Danny and started putting things in his garbage sack, but he moved away. Didnt say a word. I went over to him again, and he moved again. I threw some paper plates in Gregs bag, and started picking up empty cups. Let him stew, I thought. But to be honest, I was scared. Scared that he wouldnt let me explain. Scared that Becky knew everything. Scared that she couldnt keep a secret. But most scared that, if SHE knew, who else did? I mean, if it was obvious to Becky, it must be obvious to others. I needed to talk to Danny.
"Hey, Danny, come help me carry the table into the garage," I called.
"No, Im still busy picking up. Kyle can help. Neither of you is carrying a bag." Shit. This is worse than I thought. Kyle looked at me, then at Danny, and raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner. He came over, grabbed the other end of the table, and we walked around to the garage.
"I thought you two kissed and made up," he said.
"Fuck you, quit saying that," I spat out.
"What?" he said, surprised.
"Im sorry. I didnt mean it. I thought we had, too. Made up, I mean. I dont know whats the matter." I did, but I wasnt about to tell Kyle.
"Is he gonna camp out with us?"
"I think so," I said. "He hasnt said otherwise. We always do."
"We always do at his party, too, except you werent there this year."
Man, that one hurt. "Yeah, dont remind me. Its like the black hole of my summer."
"What did you guys fight about?"
"Kyle, I really cant tell you. Its very private. I thought wed made up." We HAD made up, all over the place.
He was staring at me.
"What? Stop it. Lets go pitch the tent."
Kyles family did a lot of camping and had a really nice six-person tent. We moved the pop machine into the garage, a few more tables, and the chairs, and by then the other three had everything else picked up. Setting up the tent didnt take long at all. We went into the house to get our sleeping bags. Danny grabbed his and headed out the door before the others, and I quickly followed.
"Whats the matter with you?" I asked.
He spun around to look at me. "Beckys the matter with me."
"What the f....Whadya mean?"
"You were holding on pretty tight, Justin."
"Youre jealous? Oh, my god! I had to hold on tight, Danny. I think she knows."
"Knows what? That youre in love with her again?"
"Oh, shut up. I was never in love with her. Were friends. Thats all. I think she knows about us. She said some things, and if I hadnt held on, I would have fainted."
He looked at me, and his expression softened. "She knows? Really? Oh, fuck."
"Knows what?" Richie said as the door slammed behind us. "Who knows what?
Both of us damn near fell over ourselves trying to come up with something.
"My mom...I mean.."
We were talking over each other, making a mess of things. I decided to shut up and let Danny talk. Unfortunately, he decided to shut up and let me talk.
"Dannys mom..." We both started up at the same time again.
"What about mom?" came a voice from behind. We both spun around, and there was Charlie. We were absolutely speechless. Danny looked at me.
"What about mom?" he asked again.
Danny just looked at me like he wanted to become a worm and bore into the ground. Which wasnt a bad idea. Except that worms are hermaphrodites and reproduce without having sex. Except with themselves.
"She, um, knows, um, that, uh, that Dannys spending the night here," I said. What a dumb thing to say. I wish I would outgrow that phase.
"Well, duh," Charlie said. "You always do. She sent me over here with some cookies." He handed me the bag.
"Cool. Thanks," said Richie, taking the bag from me. He started munching a chocolate chip cookie. Richie could eat 24 hours a day.
"Can I camp out with you guys?" Charlie asked.
Danny was still speechless. He hadnt moved a muscle and just stared open-mouthed at his little brother.
"Not tonight, sport," I said. We always do this by ourselves."
"Yeah, sure," he said sadly.
"But listen, how about if you and Danny and I camp out next weekend to celebrate the first week of school?"
"Okay. Thatd be cool." A wide grin spread across his face. He took off for home at a run.
The rest of us walked out to the tent and went in to arrange our sleeping bags. After about five years of this, we each had our place. Richie slept against one wall, Greg next to him, Kyle, then me and then Danny. Me then Danny. Oh, shit. I forgot all about that. Id been so focused on the party and the tradition I didnt even put two and two together, or Danny and Me together. We were going to sleep next to each other all night long, with our three best friends in the tent, none of whom knew. Jesus Jenny on a raft! How the hell was that gonna work? Danny and me. Me and Danny. Next to each other. Hands off. Mouths off. Cocks off. Rocks off. Getting off. No, stop that line of thinking. Too late. Cross the legs. Fuck, fuck, fuck. NO! Unfuck, unfuck, unfuck. How were we going to keep our hands off each other? Danny drove me crazy all night touching me, and now we were going to lay beside each other and do NOTHING. Yep. I can see that. Besides the fact that we hadnt had sex for almost a week. I mean, it was a six-person tent and there were only five of us, but when they say six people they mean six small people. We were pretty crowded in there. I thought of all those things. Danny was joking with Richie. I suppose it hadnt occurred to him. HA! I couldnt wait to see his face when it hit him.
The rule is no shoes in the tent. We all took off our shoes and socks, went in and sat down in a circle and just started talking.
"So, um, Kyle...you and Becky? When did this happen?" I asked.
He blushed a little. "Well, right after that party last spring at her farm. I don't know what happened. The next day I saw her downtown and we had a malt at Snyder's. We talked for a long time, and she asked me on a date."
"She asked you?" I said. "Well, she's always been pretty self-assured."
"Yeah. Weird. Said she'd like to go to a movie with me. We did and we've been dating ever since. I don't know what came over her. I'd asked her before and she always turned me down, like she was hoping someone else would ask her out."
Uh. I knew what happened. Our failure to get a rise out of me the night of her party, when we kissed and fondled each other and nothing happened. She decided I wasn't worth waiting for.
"That's cool. Becky's a great girl," Greg said. "I've always liked her. Didn't you two date for a while?" he asked me.
"Not really. We've been friends since second grade, though. We went to a couple of movies, but it was more as friends than boyfriend/girlfriend."
"So you're not dating anyone?"
"Well, I've got my eye on someone." Danny choked on a cookie. "But I'm not ready to tell you pricks anything. I'm just gonna see what happens."
"Aw, c'mon, who?" demanded Richie.
"Nope. If it all works out I will."
"How `bout you, Danny?" he said.
"Nope, I'm not gonna tell you who it is, either." he said without thinking.
Shit. That wasn't what Richie asked. "I think he means are you dating anyone?" I offered.
"Oh." He blushed a deep red. God, I started to get hard. He's so cute. "Um, I mean, no. There's no girl I'm really interested in right now," he said truthfully. "How `bout you?"
"Nah. I dated Mindy for a few weeks, but she's really stuck on Carl Wedder. You know, the wrestler."
"Oh, shit," I said. "Not Wedder. He's a jerk. An arrogant jerk."
"Yeah, but she's all hot for him."
"Yeah, and she's cute. It's a shame to waste her on that idiot," Greg said. "If that's the kind of person she wants, I don't have a chance with her."
Greg was the shortest of the five of us, a good two inches shorter than Danny and me. He had straight blonde hair, was stocky but not fat, wasn't at all athletic, but was in choir and often soloed. He loved to sing. He could also play a wicked guitar and wanted to form a band. I think he will someday, too. He lived at home with his mom and four sisters, poor guy. His dad was killed in an industrial accident about four years ago. He had lots of insurance, and they sued the company responsible, so money wasn't a problem. Not having a dad to counter-balance the five females did seem to be a problem, though, and he hung out with us as much as possible. He was the middle kid; two older sisters and two younger. He was drop-dead cute, but since he wasn't an athlete he got the second-tier girls. Geez, that sounds crude, but its true. They weren't the cutest, but they were nice. He had soft brown eyes.
Kyle was about an inch taller than Danny and me and 20 pounds heavier. He was also the oldest. His birthday was in about a month, right after school started. He'd be 16 already. He wasn't an athlete, either, but he was funnier than hell. He was sort of a class clown, and was friends with all the jocks. He was friends with everyone. He had short, brown hair, a brilliant smile, and green eyes that sparkled. He always made you feel better when you were with him. His mom and dad got divorced when he was little, and he had a step-dad that treated him like his own son. He had a half-brother and -sister.
Richie was two inches taller than Danny and me, but was skinny. I mean you could almost see his bones. He ate all the time, though. He was hyper, and when he was little they put him on some drug to calm him down. It didn't help much. He played golf. Every day. Sometimes two or thee times a day. He won the kids tournament three years in a row, and over the summer came in second.
The night was hot and humid, and the air was still. It was getting hot in the tent. Danny grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt and pulled it up over his head and off. He stretched out his legs, his bare feet nearly touching me. This was torture. He rubbed his hand around his smooth chest and over one nipple.
Then Kyle took off his shirt. He didn't have any hair except for a darkening trail from his belly button down to his athletic shorts. Then Richie took his off. He had no hair, and had large nipples, about the size of a quarter. Greg and I were the only ones with out shirts on, and frankly, I was sweating like hell.
"Might as well join them, I said, as I whipped my shirt off. Greg did too. He was the only one with any hair on his chest, a light, soft dusting of blond hair you could barely see. We talked some more about summer, school, TV, video games and summer again. Then it got to the question.
"So, what did you guys fight about last spring?" Greg asked.
"Dammit, I said we can't talk about it," I said.
"Well it was so weird. I mean, it happened right after your guys's bike accident. Was that it? Did you fight about that?"
"No. That wasn't it. Look, guys, we had a fight one day, the worst we've ever had. I guess it had been building for a while, and it finally came," Danny said. I looked sharply at him. "One day it just erupted, and we fought. We're over it now. You guys should be too."
"Well, yeah, but, I mean, I never seen you guys so mad. You guys have always been best friends, the best friends of all of us. And then all of a sudden you weren't. It was a weird summer not having you two hang around, Justin. You were madder, Danny seemed to get over it. You know what he did?"
"Never mind, Greg," Danny said.
"He came to all of us and asked us to help him make it up to you. We just didn't know what to do."
I looked at Danny, who was blushing again and looking pissed at Greg.
"You did that?" I asked.
"No, not exactly."
"Yes, he did," Greg said.
"Drop it, huh?" Danny said.
"What did you guys do?" I asked.
"Stop it," Danny said.
"We..." Greg looked at Danny.
"Okay. Geez. I won't tell."
I couldn't think of anything they'd done to bring us together again.
We talked another 45 minutes, till we could barely keep our eyes open.
"I'm gonna go take a leak and go to bed," Danny said.
"I'll go with you," I said as the others straightened out the sleeping bags none of us would need that night.
When we got inside I grabbed him around his naked waist.
"I love you," I said. "How the hell are we gonna sleep together? You've got me so horny I could burst. What are you trying to do to me stripping down and making yourself so sexy? And even before that, when you were touching me all night."
"Justin, I only touched you when you touched me."
"What do you mean?"
"Man, from the time I got over here, you were touching me, patting me, putting your arm around my shoulder, rubbing my hair. So I started touching you back. It felt so good, Justin. I wanted you to feel good, too."
Oh, my god. I hadn't noticed! I had done all that subconsciously. We walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Wow. I had no idea. I wonder if anyone else noticed? Geez, I was going to have to watch out. But I couldn't keep my hands off him. Huh. I'd really done that, and didn't even know.
"All night long I could feel how much you love me," he said. "I hope you could feel it back."
He leaned in, his eyes closed, and I kissed him. I ran my thumbs over his nipples and thrust my tongue into his mouth. Then I pulled him close and began to grind my cock against his. My hands cupped his cute butt and I began to work my fingers into his cloth-covered crack. Our breathing deepened as we tried to get each other off with the friction of our hips. He grabbed my butt, too, and drew me tight against him. Our kiss broke, but only for an instant. Our knees were getting weak the harder we ground. Jesus he tasted good. This wasn't going to take long. The abstinence caused us both to be super-ready. My tongue played with his, and we began to thrust against each other. I felt a tingle, something just below by belly button, that indicated the moment was almost there. We were so horny that it wasn't gonna take much at all. Danny started thrusting to hurry the process along.
A door closed in the house, and I heard Kyle whisper, "Hey guys?"
Oh fuck. We pulled apart, just before THE moment. Shit. My balls hurt. Kyle was coming down the hall.
"Quick, fill a class with water and pour it slowly into the toilet," I said as I squeezed toothpaste onto my brush and stuck it into my mouth. Geez, I wanted to cum soo bad. My nipples were like tiny stones they were so hard.
"Guys, what's taking so long?"
Danny slowly poured the water into the john to make it sound like he was peeing.
"Mothig," I said through the toothpaste. "Awmoats dud."
I rinsed. "Nothing. Almost done." Fortunately the scare had shocked the blood out of our engorged cocks, and by the time I opened the door Danny was flushing the toilet.
"We got talking and lost track of time. Sorry," I said as Kyle came in to pee.
When we got out to the tent, Richie and Greg were lying on top of their sleeping bags, almost asleep. Kyle came out a few minutes later. He was sexy. He was rubbing a nipple absent-mindedly. His feet were slender and long. His second toe was longer than his big toe. His legs had a light sheen of hair, and his waist was tight. He laid down, and said good night.
Danny and I laid next to each other for a few minutes. Then Danny got up and said, "I gotta pee."
"You just did," Kyle said.
"Oh, yeah, um, well, I guess I drank a lot of pop. Be right back. You coming, Justin?"
"No, I don't have to."
Oh, okay then."
In a few minutes, all three of them were asleep. I lay awake waiting for Danny, who came out, laid down next to me and snuggled close. I knew we couldn't kiss each other good night, and I knew we couldn't hug, and I knew I couldn't throw my arm over him. And I knew as soon as his body touched mine I would pop a bone that would last the night. I only prayed I could get to sleep.
But I couldn't. And neither could Danny. We lay there half an hour, saying nothing, till the tension was thick enough to knock the tent over. Quietly we both got up and crept out of the tent. We walked to the end of the yard, pulled up a couple of lawn chairs, and sat down. Danny rubbed his bare foot over mine, but neither of us said anything. I knew there was only one way to get to sleep, and so did Danny. The question was, where? There was no place. Not the garage, not the house. We didn't feel safe anywhere. If one of the three woke up, he would come looking. It was just too big a risk. So we sat there, playing footsie, for an eternity. Looking at the stars. Looking at each other. With each passing minute, I regretted we hadn't started something, because we would have had time. But we could never be sure. And sure enough, an hour later, Greg came stumbling out of the tent and toward the house. He came out shortly, and saw us sitting. He walked over to us.
"What are you guys going? he asked quietly.
"Just talking," I answered, just above a whisper. It was a lie. We hadn't said a word. We were making love. Making love without moving, without even being naked. Through a touch. Through silence. Just by being near each other. We were making love.
"And looking at the stars," Danny added.
Greg drew up a chair and sat down. Neither of us minded. We were still making love. Danny's foot no longer covered mine, but it still touched mine, side by side.
"Seen any shooting stars?" Greg asked.
"Yeah, a few."
"It's kinda peaceful out here," he said. He stretched out. I looked at his hairless chest. He had large nipples and they were pointed. Although he was stocky, his chest had definition. He worked at a warehouse to earn money, and all the lifting showed. There was a little hair around his navel. Man, everyone was looking good to me all of a sudden.
"Ya ever wonder why you guys became best friends. I mean, better friends than the rest of us?"
"We live the closest to each other," I said simply.
"Well, we all live on the same block. But you guys seem to be, I dunno, different."
"Different how?" Danny asked. His voice sounded a little strained.
"I mean, like, even when the rest of us aren't together, you two are."
"Greg," I said, swallowing hard. "You gotta know something about Danny and me." I felt Danny's foot press against mine hard. "See, my folks have had a lot of problems. I mean, marriage problems. They argue. They fight a lot. It's been going on for years. I think they need to get a divorce, but they won't because of me." I started to choke up a little.
"Justin, don't..." Danny started, but I cut him off.
"I mean, this has been going on for years. And when the fighting gets bad, I've always gone down the street to Danny's house. Sometimes I stay there for days. When I can't stand it anymore, I..." And I lost it. The tears started streaming down my face.
"Hey, c'mon bud. It's okay," Danny said. "Geez, Greg. Nice work."
"Hey, man, I didn't know. I'm sorry, Justin. I didn't know." He reached over and rubbed my back.
"I g-g-go to Danny's and h-h-h-e and h-h-h-is m-m-om and d-dad take care of me. They're my f-f-f-family when m-m-mine c-can't b-b-be." I hated not being in control of my voice.
I was shaking hard. Greg was confused, I could tell, and a little embarrassed. But he pulled me to him and gave me a hug while I cried into his chest. "I'm really sorry, Justin. I really am. I didn't mean to...I'm really sorry." We stayed like that for several minutes. Danny was rubbing my back now, and then he held me from behind. Kind of a Justin sandwich.
How long has this been going on?" Greg asked.
"Since I was about six."
"Six! Fuck, man. You'd go over to his house in the middle of the night when you were six? That's gotta be rough. Geez, Justin."
"Uh-huh. I still remember the first night. I'd stayed over at Danny's a few times before. One night when the shouting was really bad, I snuck out the back door. It was in March, and I was still in my pajamas and barefoot. It was dark and I was really, really scared." My voice broke. "I just squatted on the back porch for a while, till I got cold. I was too scared to move. But I finally had to or freeze. So I walked around the house to the front. I could see lights on at Danny's. It seems like they're always on when I need them. Once I got out front I wasn't so scared cuz there were street lights, too. I walked over and knocked on the door. When Danny's mom answered, she took me in, wrapped me in a blanket and held me on her lap. I was crying really hard. I knew what was happening and I was scared." Tears were rolling down my cheeks.
"Anyway, she gave me some cookies and milk and took me down to Danny's room. She had me get in bed with him. He woke up when I did. I think I was still crying, cuz he asked me what was wrong. When I told him, his mom said I was going to spend the night and could Danny let me sleep with him. He scooted over so I had room, but when she shut off the light, he moved back toward me. He patted me on the back and said everything would be okay. Man, we were six and he knew what to say." I sniffed big and wished I had a hankie.
"Justin, I'm really, really sorry," Greg said again.
"It's okay, Greg. I know." I was regaining my composure. "It's okay, really. I know you guys didn't know all that. But that's the reason. I like all you guys. But Danny's family has done so much. I've slept in his bed so many times you'd think we were brothers."
"I honestly didn't know. I wouldn't have asked. You mean you'd stay there all night? Even on a school night?"
"Especially on a school night. I needed to sleep, and even if they were done arguing, there was so much tension in the house I knew I'd never be able to. So I'd walk over to Danny's, even late at night. I knew where the key was if they were asleep, and I'd let myself in and just crawl into bed. I even have clothes there so I could just go to school in the morning."
"Do they still..."
"It's gotten better. They're going to a counselor. I hope it works."
"Man, so do I. I'm really sorry, Justin."
"It's okay, Greg. C'mon, let's go to sleep. I'm beat."
We all crawled into the tent. We woke Kyle, who went to pee, but not Richie. I really was tired, but still didn't know if I could sleep. Danny drew close, and after Kyle had settled in, he put his arm not around me, but sort of along me. Greg raised up to say good night, saw it, and smiled. It was sort of a sad smile. I think he felt something, cuz he'd lost his dad and knew what loneliness was. We'd all helped him through that when it happened. We were at his house all the time, at least one of us. We played games, or just hung out. Anything to try to keep his mind off it. We were all at the funeral. Greg understood.
Danny and I were able to drift off, and slept the few hours remaining in the night.
Five sweaty adolescent boys in an airless tent after a humid, calm night is not a good sight in the morning. Or smell. The tent was pretty rank when we began to stir. Richie was first. His hyper self was up at six o'clock, an ungodly hour by any standard, but on a summer morning just before school was to begin, it was downright mean. I give him credit, he did try to keep quiet, but when you have as much energy as Richie, you can't be quiet.
"Shut the fuck up and go back to sleep," Greg complained.
"Get your lazy ass up, Greg," Richie replied. "Come running with me."
"Fuck off. I'm staying here."
"Both of you keep quiet," Kyle said.
It was enough of a wake-up that Danny managed to slip his arm from my side, where it had stayed the few hours we were actually able to sleep. Since we hadn't said anything, we were Richie's next target. He threw his pillow at us. I said, "Ooooph."
"Hey, let `em sleep," Greg said. "Let all of us sleep."
"Jeezuz, the lunchroom at noon is quieter than this tent," Kyle said. "Shut up."
Richie stepped out of the tent, pulled on his shoes, and started to stretch for his jog. He'd been into running for about six months.
After he left it got quiet again. He was gone about 20 minutes, and we all slept more during that time. But when he came back, we all started to get up. Well, actually, being 15 year old boys, we WERE all up, and did our damnedest to hide that fact from each other. We were good friends, but not THAT good. Kyle dangled his t-shirt nonchalantly in front of his as he went into the house to the bathroom. Greg had a long, loose t-shirt that he pulled on and let hang over his crotch. Danny and I both grabbed our bags, slung them over our shoulders and let them hang in front of us when it came our turn to in to use the bathroom.
Dad was up and cooking pancakes and sausage, another tradition of my birthdays the last few years. No matter how bad things were, my folks had always seemed to call a truce around my birthday. We wolfed down the cakes, sausages and orange juice.
Kyle said he'd come back in the afternoon to get the tent. After they left, Danny and I did the last traditional thing of my birthday. We said g'night to dad again, went into my room, and crashed.
I closed the door and turned around. Danny was right behind me, and I nearly collided with him.
"What the fu..." was all I got out before he kissed me full on the lips. He held the kiss, opened his mouth, ran his tongue along my lips and inside my mouth as soon as I let him. I was completely passive. He did all the work. He held me, thrust his tongue into me, and explored my mouth. My tongue didn't move. I did put my arms around him, but that was all. He'd taken me by surprise and I was stunned. He led me over to the bed and gently laid me down. He pulled off my t-shirt and began to caress my chest, shoulders, ribs, tummy. Not tickling, caressing. Raising my heat. Relaxing me. Loving me. He kissed me and held the back of my head in his hands. He kissed around my jaw and nibbled my ears. His hands began roaming again, all over my upper body. From my shoulders to my waist. He kissed and played with me. And only a wall separated us from the hallway.
Silence was imperative. I couldn't moan and neither could he. We had to keep the bed quiet. We could hear my folks downstairs making household noises, but we had to be quiet. And the suspense of all that heightened the excitement of Danny's mouth and hands. When we'd kissed for about 20 minutes his mouth moved to do what his hands had been doing. Not one inch of my chest was left unkissed or unlicked. His kisses along my ribs and stomach and around my belly button were strong, firm, so I wouldn't giggle. His kisses on my nipples, the way he lapped at them, were soft and loving. He was tender as he gave his passion to the middle of my chest and then began to move down. He stood to slide down his shorts and reveal the most beautiful five inches in the history of the world. Then he slowly, sensuously, began to pull mine down. His kisses followed the waistband down. He kissed all through my pubic hair as it was came into view. My cock was caught below the waistband, so it was revealed from its base as he slowly pulled on the shorts. He kissed the base of my cock and each bit of it as the shorts made their way down, all along the top, to the ridge just before the head. Even his kisses were quiet, only a tiny wet smack breaking the silence we were trying to keep. When only the head was still under wraps, he quickly pulled my shorts off. My cock sprang up and slapped my belly.
I lay there, naked before him, my legs spread, vulnerable to the person who loved me, and whom I was learning to love in a whole new way. He pushed my legs till my knees were bent, picked up one foot, and did the most sensuous things to it ever done with a mouth and tongue. It felt like hours that he spent on that right foot. Around the toes, between the toes, each toe separately, two and three toes together, the ball, the arch, the sole, the heel, the sides, the tops of the toes, the bottoms of the toes, pinkie, fourth, third, second and big toe, ankle, back to the sole. The entire foot. It was slick with saliva, almost dripping, when he got done. The left foot he ran his cock up and down before again unleashing his talents upon it, too. His precum left a trail along the sole, but not for long. He bathed it thoroughly, just as he had done before.
He finally put the left foot down, laid down on his stomach, and made his way toward my crotch. This was the moment he was to take me in his mouth and suck me dry. But he didn't. He pushed my knees up against my chest, and I felt his tongue at the entrance of my most personal spot. Lightly, he licked around, teasing me. He got bolder and started to push his tongue in, but when I began to moan, he backed off. I could see him look at me through my half-closed eyes. I was right on the edge. If he was going to take me, he'd better do it soon, cuz I was going to cream with or without his sweet mouth. I preferred "with."
And, dammit, he understood. I didn't say a thing. He just understood. My mind flashed to the late-night conversation with Greg. Danny knew at six just what to do for me. SIX. Now he scooted up and lowered his mouth, warm, wet, steamy, over my penis. He didn't touch it till he was past the super-sensitive head, and then he closed around the shaft, and his tongue that had warmed up on my 10 toes just moments before began to do acrobatics that would play center ring in the circus. It was stunning the action he got from working his mouth over my short five inches. Still without sound, he slowly stroked me with his mouth, drawing his tongue the length, up and down. He didn't make the bed shake, but I was beginning to. I grabbed a pillow to moan in to, but it didn't seem right. I sat up and grabbed Danny around the waist to move him toward me.
He stopped. "No, let me. This is your birthday present." he said.
"Then give me what I want," I pleaded.
After just a moment's hesitation he scooted himself around so I could suck him. His action had me almost helpless, but I was able to keep enough sense to get his cock into my mouth. It was all I needed. The taste and feel of Danny on my tongue sent me over. I groaned onto his hardness, trying desperately to keep quiet, and thrust myself into his throat as a river gushed in a long, steady stream from my balls to the cum slit and into his amazing mouth. He sucked, rubbed the base of the head with his tongue, and coaxed every drop out, then moaned himself and began to spurt into me. I was still in the throes of my orgasm and wasn't ready for his, but I clamped my lips around him and drank everything he gave me. It was hot, sweet, delicious. Danny's taste was one I'd never forget, and never get enough of. It was becoming comfort food.
We were spent. Completely drained.
We went to sleep in that sixty-nine position. I remember Danny's cock slipping out of my mouth. That's all for about four hours. A door slamming somewhere in the house and the sound of the car starting woke me up. I guess my folks were running some errands. The house was silent.
Danny was snoring lightly. It was such a sweet sound, innocent. Totally at ease with himself and his surroundings. Of course, he hadn't slept at my house nearly as much as I'd slept at his, but enough to be comfortable. His trust was total lying there in my bed.
He hadn't moved, and his soft cock was just inches from me. I was entranced by it. The veins no longer showed. He wasn't circumcised like I was, but his foreskin didn't completely cover the head -- only about half way, it looked. Soft, he was about two inches long, not big around. The skin was wrinkled, almost rubbery. His penis was clean, cuz I had licked every bit of his orgasm off him several hours ago.
I shifted slightly, and moved my mouth to that magnificent tool. It was so soft in my mouth. I can't find the words to describe it. It was like -- I dunno. Warm, of course, and like I just wanted to munch on it. Soft. Chewy. I could move it back and forth with my tongue. I could squish it against the roof of my mouth. I could hold it against the inside of my cheek. I could roll it around. I could run my tongue under his foreskin.
But only for about 30 seconds. Even in his deep sleep, Danny began to respond. I felt the miracle happen as blood flooded into his cock, making it stiffen, lengthen and thicken in my mouth. The foreskin pulled back. I felt him shift his hips and thrust slightly, and, subconsciously, he sought the relief that was suddenly so necessary. His snoring turned to gentle moans, and he gradually woke up.
"Oh, god, Justin. Please take me all the way. Oh, god, bud, don't stop. Geez, it's so awesome."
He was jerking, trying to get control of his newly-awake muscles. I felt his body stiffen, then relax, like he was stretching. He began to move his hips more insistently. Then I felt his finger probing at my hole. It was slick with his saliva, and I spread my legs to give him access. I pushed against his finger, and it slid in.
As I sucked and tried to make my tongue do to him what he had done to me earlier, I felt his finger find the spot inside me that caused me to begin jerking too. I felt him blowing a steam of air onto my cock, which obviously was hard in front of his mouth, but he didn't take it into his mouth. He was working my hole, thrusting his finger in and out, scraping against my prostate, taking me to the level I was trying to take him. My sucking, playing with his cock, became more insistent. I put a hand on the base of his penis and began to jack him. He increased the speed and pressure on my prostate. He straightened his legs and I could hear him gasping for air. He made little, "Uh, uh, uh, uh," noises that began to rise. I moved my hand to the ridge just behind his balls, stroked him there and felt his cock expand. With a strong, long "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" he spurted the first of his seed into my waiting mouth, and I held his cock, running my tongue along the underside of the head, swallowing up Danny cream as fast as he gave it. I stroked that ridge, and could feel his contractions. I tried to pick up the rhythm. His body was rigid as every muscle joined in the exhilaration and seemed to pull together to ejaculate his semen.
His finger was still in me, but had stopped moving. When his flow slowed, his finger began its work again and now his tongue began to stroke the underside of my cock. He lapped and lapped, like a puppy licks the fingers of its owner. And I did just what he'd done. I felt my body contract. I got a cramp in my foot and tried to stretch it out. He was working my prostate with furious speed, and then he sucked me into his mouth and I erupted, spurting what was left in my balls into him. I felt him swallow, felt the action of his tongue as he tried to take my cum and not spill any. He rubbed the spot inside me one or twice more, trying to get more of me, but I was spent. I relaxed, and as he pulled his finger out, my body went from rigid to limp. He held me in his mouth, putting no pressure on the sensitive head, until it shrank and slipped out of his lips. I scooted around so I could kiss him, and we shared what was left in our mouths. I squeezed him hard and rubbed his pointed nipples lightly. He drew in a sharp breath, then sighed.
"I love you, Justin. Everything about you. I love you."
"And I love you, Danny."
We lay in the afterglow for a while, sharing light kisses, running our hands through each others' hair. When I looked at the clock, it was one o'clock.
"I gotta meet Becky at two," I said. He flinched a little when I said her name. "I gotta. I told her I'd meet her at Snyder's. I need to hear what she has to say. I think she knows about us. Do yo want to come?"
"I don't know. I'm jealous that you're seeing her. I know she's going with Kyle now, but still, you did date and..."
"No, we didn't. We went to a couple of movies. It was nothing more than that. The party at her farm proved that."
"Well, anyway. I want to come but I don't. I know I can trust you. I don't want to interfere with your friendship. But I want to know what she has to say."
"Up to you, bud. Whatever you want to do. But I gotta take a shower and get ready. And I'd like to take that shower with you."
He grinned, kissed me full and long on the mouth, and we helped each other out of bed.
The shower was fantastic. He rubbed his soapy cock up and down my crack as he scrubbed me clean. He washed me head to toe, paying special attention to the toes and my cock. I did the same for him. And his hair. I never knew washing someone's hair was so sensuous. How do hair dressers do it all day long without cumming over and over? I'd never be able to do it. "Just a little cream rinse sir...juuuuuuusssssttttt....aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh......some protein for your hair. Whew!" Just before the hot water ran out, we came in each other's hands, our small dribbles a testament to the earlier morning ministrations.
We got out, dried each other, and got dressed. Danny decided to go home and left me on my own. I left a note for my parents, climbed on my bike, and started on my way to Snyder's to meet Becky.
My lover just read that first part, about me thinking about leaving. All he said was, "Please don't do that to me." He enfolded me in his arms, warming my naked body with his, and, as gentle as I've ever experienced, made slow, tender love to me. That was a couple of hours ago. Then I woke up and wrote the rest. But I'm sitting here without any clothes on, and now I'm cold. My lover can warm me up.