As I saw Alex collapse in to Marks arms I ran over and wrapped my arms around them holding them tight.Whispering that it was all going to be alright.Even If I was not sure.Alex did not need to know my worries.My heart broke as Alex sobbed.For all the force and strength he showed earlier underneath he was still just a scared child who was terrified that his dad was going to die. "Come on Alex wash your face, and then we are all going to go to the hospital.I'll make sure we have guards when we get there."
I helped him to his feet then walked him to the closest bathroom. Mark looked over to me and gave me a helpless look.I think he knew that his mother hired the man that shot Isaac. I did not want him blaming himself. "Mark don't blame yourself.I can see it in your eyes.It's not your fault.You are not responsible for the actions of others.Alex is going to need you right now.So don't blame yourself that will only cause you to pull a way."He nods in response then gives me a hug waiting for Alex to come back out.When he does we make our way back outside."OK everyone we are going to make our way to the hospital.I want to use theErebus hummers they're better protected then our personal cars.Once Naudia, Jess, and Phil get here we will leave.Get whatever you want to take and meet me back out here."I watch as everyone takes off getting ready to go.
By the time everyone is back and cleanNaudia, Jess, and Phil have arrived.We all load up in the hummers and leave for the hospital.I can't help but think, I just got him and now I'm going to lose him.I quickly banish the thoughts. I look at what I have come to think of as my family, I guess they always were my family just since Issac came out.The relationship has changed.I'm not the uncle any more but another dad.I see Jacob and Scoot looking at me wanting answers.They look so lost.They're only 10 years old for heavens sake.They have been through enough in their life.They did not need this too.None of them did.I open my arms to them and they fly into them. "It's going to be alright guys, you'll see.Your dad is strong and he was wearing a vest.He just hit his head when he fell and one of his lungs needs some help doing it's job.He will be fine OK?"they nod into my chest.
Every one has long since stopped crying tears.It seems like they are just out.I see Rex and James in the car with me too.James looks terrified.I'm sure this is not helping with his fragile mental state, and Rex just seems lost.
I can't help but blame myself for this.It was my nut job of a mother that did this.Here I am sitting next to Alex and his family on the way to the hospital, and no one seems to blame me.I just don't get it, how can they not hate me.I told Isaac once that being gay only gets you hurt.It looks like I was right.All I did was bring pain to them.I should leave,they would be better off with me.Once I'm sure Isaac will be alright, I'll go.
I don't know what I would do If I did not have Mark right now.My family will be there for me I know that, but when Mark is close I feel stronger.Like I can get through this.No matter what happens.I'm just so worried that he is going to blame himself for this.I don't know if I could take him leaving on top of my dad being hurt.If my dad dies, I'm going to need him.God I love him so much.
This can't be happening, I just got this family.They love me for me, and Isaac who could ask for a better dad.He has been there for me since the first second I walked through the door.Why did it have to be him that got hurt?All he ever does is help people.What kinda psycho would want to hurt him.I can't lose him.I just can't; he's the only real dad I have ever known.Then, there is my new family.I don't want to loss them either.They don't deserve this, they have all been through their own personal hell just like me.Poor Mark,I mean dear God it was his mother that did this.He must feel like shit.Alex really needs him right now.I hope he does not take this out on himself.
I'm so proud of the way my brother took charge.I always knew he had it in him.Everyone thinks he's just some kid with a temper.But I know better,Dad knew what he was doing that's for sure.God I hope dad is OK,I can't imagine life without him any more.I remember what it was like to live with my sorry excuse for a dad.I never want to go back.Dad showed me what a real family was like. What it meant to be loved and not have to wonder if you were going to get beat again.He gave me brothers and a sister.Angela must be going nuts.Every one knows she is a daddies girl, and Alex he worshiped the ground dad walked on. Always worrying if he was good enough and always trying to do right and make dad happy.I don't think he ever relished dad was happy as long as we were.
Not my dad please not my dad.This all has to be some horrible nightmare.I can't help it I start crying again.My dad is the best person in the world.What am I going to do with out him?Who's going to hold me when I'm scared? Who's going to tell me every thing is going to be alright?When Alex almost died it was dad that held me every night till he came home.What am I going to do, who is going to tell it alright now?I want my daddy back.Oh God please let him be OK.Please don't take him from us.We need him too much; I need him too much.
I swear that bitch is going to pay.She hurt my family.It may not be what everyone thinks a family should be,but damn if it is not built on love.I have seen Isaac work miracles with kids.I have never met a better person.If he dies I will track down and kill every last one of the bastards from that God forsaken church.He and Charles finally went public after hiding for so long.They finally got a chance to be happy.And the kids, Dear God, if there was ever a group that deserved to be happy, it is them."Phil, Jess,I don't care what you have to do,but if Isaac dies so does that bitch and everyone that helped her and supported her."I see them just nod.
"Where am I?"
"That is a good question.What is the last thing you remember?"
"Walking outside then feeling like I got shot."
"Well, you did get shot.You're not really here right now.In fact your not anywhere right now."
"What do you mean I'm not here right now.Am I dreaming?"
"Yes and no.When you got shot you were thrown back on the ground.A small rock hit you in the base of the skull.Your head is far worse than they know yet.Your at a crossroads,don't worry your not going to die yet.But you do have a choice to make.I am here to help you make it."
"Who are you?"
"You never met me in life, but you do know two people that meant the world to me when I was alive.In life I was Nicholas Brewer."
"Your Jake and Scott's brother."
"Yes I am."
"But your dead!"
"And your not.I thought we covered this already.Any way I'm here to show you the good you have done with your life and the good you will keep doing.As long as you don't give up.See because of this attack you are in danger of giving up your fight.I am here to help you decide that is worth fighting, and that the few do not dictate to the many. So shall we?"
"What do I have to do?"
"Not much just watch.This is reallycool by the way."
I must be going nuts.I just hit my head hard and now I'm delusional.Well I might as well enjoy the ride.I watched as image after image flashed in front of me.Some of people I knew some, I did not know, and others were closer to home.I watched as all of my kids went through hell. It broke my heart to watch.Then the hallucination that said he was Nick said that he was going to show me what it would have been like without me.
Things got worse, as bad as it was before.Now it made made me through up.I watched the twins were brutally raped every night then left to die by some one that was supposed to be caring for them.I watched as John recovered only to end up killing his father.When he started his own family he was so terrified of being like his dad that he ran away leaving his son and wife behind.I watched as Derrek died on the streets ofdrug overdose.He finally turned to drugs to bury the pain of selling him self every day, just so he could eat.I watched as James went insane from the "treatment" his parents were giving him.He had to be committed cause he went totally insane.I watched as Alex and Angela became child porn stars after being found by their mothers pimp.Being forced to have sex with each other in front of a camera every day.I watched as people I did not even know lost loved ones cause things my company invented did not exist.Police officers being shot that could have lived.Children in my Pandora houses being sold on the child sex market like a slab of meat.I watched as Mark came out to his mother.Only to get tied to bed and tortured for weeks before he died of a infection.And poor Shawn was buried alive along with his brother.It was to much for me to deal with.
"Why are you showing me all this?"
"Cause you need to see what happens when people don't stand up and fight the good fight.Your work is important.Not only have you personally saved many lives, but your actions have inspired others, your company saves lives.Many get to your point in life and allow the power and money to change them.You did not, you remained good,and when life asked you to fight you did.You gave it your all.Now you can't give up."
"But all my fighting is doing is putting every one in danger."
"That is why I showed you what could have been.You did not put them in danger, you saved them from pain. You protect them.You can't save them all.I wish Pandora foundation was around when I came out to my parents.It may have saved my life.But you were there for my brothers, and to me that is all the matters.Now I think it is time for you to wake up.Your family has suffered enough."
"He's coming around,Doctor he's waking up."
"Mr Daniels,you're in the hospital we found bleeding in your brain.A small blood vessel was punctured.We have to put a shunt in to help it drain.We are going to have to give you something to make you sleep while we repair the damage."
"Tell my family I love them."I managed to rasp out before the drugs drag me under.