Chapter 1

Published: 20 Sep 2021

Brent listened as Dr. Wilson talked. During their sessions Brent saw things so clearly. He saw exactly how Devyn had manipulated him. He understood how Devyn had used him and tried to corrupt what Dr. Wilson called his moral center. It was when Brent got home and saw the house across the street that things no longer seemed as clear. It was then he would open the bottom drawer on his dresser and find Devyn’s picture that those things no longer made sense. It was as he read notes that Devyn had written to him that his mind could not hide the feelings that were in his heart.

“You aren’t eating,” Brent’s Mom said as she watched her son pushing food around on his plate.

“I guess I am just not hungry tonight,” Brent said.

His parents looked at each other. Then back at their son. “We have to talk,” Richard said. Brent looked at his dad. He knew that disapproving tone too well. “Your grades this semester are horrible. You are not putting in the time or the work at school.”

“I… um…” Brent began.

“We know things have been hard this year,” Linda said. Brent turned to his Mom. “Dr. Wilson told us that it would take time for you to overcome what happened.”

“Um… yeah,” Brent said.

“But you have to do better in school,” Richard said. “You won’t get into a good college with grades like we saw this last semester.”

“I… um… will do better,” Brent said and looked from his Mom to his Dad.

“You had better,” Richard said. “I want to see some improvement in your study habits. I want to see some hard work out of you.”

“I will,” Brent said and felt his dad glaring at him. He could feel the disapproval. He could feel the disappointment.

“Then go study,” Linda told her son. After Brent went upstairs, she turned to Richard. “What are we going to do with him?”

“I do not know,” Richard said.

“Maybe we should just let them be friends,” Linda said.

“We cannot and will not do that,” Richard said and rose from the table, leaving Linda.

Brent knew he should be over Devyn by now. Dr. Wilson pointed that out each time they had one of their sessions. “I am sorry,” Brent told the picture. “I wish I had been a better friend.”

Brent still wondered what had happened to Devyn. He watched the house across the street but never saw Devyn. Even as the semester ended and the summer break started there was no Devyn across the street.

Brent watched for him when he was at the mall or the movies but never spotted him anywhere.

Brent sat in the waiting room while his parents met with Dr. Wilson. He knew they were concerned. His mom was always nagging him to eat more. He just did not feel hungry. Nothing tasted good to him anymore. His dad was always glaring at him. He felt like they were always watching him. Brent looked at the office door. He knew that his parents were disappointed in him. His grades had not been any better by the end of the semester. He just could not concentrate. He just had no focus. He did not know what was wrong inside.

Brent watches his parents as they come out of Dr. Wilson’s office. They were looking just as serious as when they went into the office.

They did not speak as they left the doctor’s office. He followed them to the car and no one spoke. Brent was unable to stand it any longer. “Um… what, um did she say,” Brent asked on the way home.

“You are not making the progress you should,” Richard said. “You are fighting the treatment.

“I am not,” Brent said. “I do everything she says.”

“She thinks that you need a change,” Linda said. “Dr. Wilson thinks we should go away as a family.”

“A vacation?” Brent asked.

“She thinks getting you away will help reset your thought processes,” Linda said.

“Are we going to then?” Brent asked.

“We are talking about it,” Richard said.

“We had wanted to go away for your spring break but work got in the way,” Linda said. “Maybe since we didn’t take that trip, we can make this one even more special.”

“We will talk about it more,” Richard said. “Your mom has a couple of ideas she tossed out there.”

Apparently, his Mom had won the talking points because now they were on their way to Hawaii. He should be more excited than he had ever been. He just could not make himself feel it. He scanned through the people at the airport. He was searching for a brown-haired boy. He had not seen Devyn for months. He had been looking for him every day since the summer break started but never saw him. He would sit in his room watching the house across the street but he only saw Devyn’s parents coming and going.

“What do you want to do first?” Linda asked her son as they waited for their flight.

“Um… I don’t know,” Brent answered.

“Surfing will be fun right?” Linda said. “I bet we can get you lessons.”

“That would be cool,” Brent said. He could not help but think how much fun he and Devyn would have had in Hawaii.

Even though he knew it was impossible he found his eyes searching the Honolulu

Airport for Devyn. Every boy that had brown hair and brown eyes would make his heart jump but of course none of them turned out to be Devyn.

“Wow look how close we are to the beach,” Linda said as they checked into their hotel.

“It is cool,” Richard said. “We will get you signed up for surfing lessons and maybe we can even do that hike up the dormant volcano.”

“Sure,” Brent said. Part of him was starting to feel the excitement. He was starting to push his feelings down. His Mom’s excitement was starting to push its way into him.

As Brent was unpacking his bags, he realized he forgot the medication that Dr. Wilson had prescribed for him. He could distinctly remember sitting it on his dresser so he would not forget to take it and then put it in his bag. He had forgotten to do both. He decided not to tell his parents. They were only going to be here for a couple weeks. He knew he would be fine without it.

They took the hike up to the top of Diamond Head and the views were awesome. Even though the place was crowded with tourists Brent still found himself having fun with his Mom.

“The view is awesome,” Brent said.

“It sure is honey,” Linda said, sliding her arm around her son. She was beginning to think that the trip had been the right idea.

After getting back from their hike, Brent found himself on the beach. He wished he could have shared this trip with Devyn. He was having fun with his Mom but he still missed his friend. There was some part of him that could just not accept the concept that Devyn had manipulated him. “Could he have just been using me?” he wondered as he stared out over the pacific. “It all makes so much sense when I am sitting in Dr. Wilson’s office. But here all I can think about is how much fun the two of us could have had. Devyn would look so good stretched out on the sand. He would look so hot in…stop it. Stop thinking of him.” But Brent could not stop his mind from projecting the image of Devyn stretched out on the sand. His lean body and tan skin soaking up the sunshine. Those warm chocolate eyes looking at Brent as they soaked in the warm sunshine.

“Here you are,” his Mom said, dropping down next to him. “I thought you were going to stay by the pool?”

The image of Devyn’s bare chest and warm smile faded as Brent’s Mom sat down beside him. “I wanted to feel the sand and hear the waves,” Brent said.

“I have a surprise for you,” she said.

“Oh?” Brent said, turning and giving her his full attention.

“I signed you up for those surfing lessons,” she explained. “Tomorrow morning.”

“Mom!” Brent said excitedly. “Dad said they were too expensive.”

“We talked and they are not as expensive as he thought,” she said. “Just have fun.”

Brent was excited about the lessons. It had been something he had always wanted to do. He had never thought he would get the chance to do it in Hawaii. “Thanks Mom,” Brent said as he threw his arms around his mother.

“I hope you have fun,” she said, rubbing Brent’s back. “This trip has been so worth it,” Linda thought as she enjoyed the closeness with her son.

The next morning Brent was downstairs and ready for the instructor. He was both nervous and excited. He could not believe he was going to learn how to surf. He hoped he would not make a fool out of himself.

“You must be Brent,” a man said looking at his clipboard.

“Yeah.” Brent judged the man to be only a few years older than he was. Maybe just nineteen or twenty. Brent could not stop himself from thinking how handsome the man was. He hoped this guy was the instructor and not just some assistant.

“I’m Cody Ashky.” Holding his clipboard in one hand, Cody reaches out for a handshake.

Brent looks up into Cody’s warm brown eyes. They are the same color as Devyn’s but Cody’s lack those amazing golden flecks that Devyn’s eyes had. They are just as warm and friendly though. Cody’s hair is shaggier than Devyn. It is wind-blown and looks as though the man just stepped in from the beach. “Hi,” Brent manages to say as he is shaking the man’s hand.

“Ever been surfing before?” Cody releases Brent’s hand smiling at the blonde teenager.

“Um… no.” Brent looks from Cody’s friendly face down over the man’s lean body. The loose ocean blue shirt is open halfway down revealing Cody’s tan chest. Likewise, the man’s legs are tan and muscular. Brent bites on his lower lip knowing he should not be looking at Cody’s body the way he is. He just cannot stop himself. The man could be Devyn’s cool older brother or cousin.

“Looks like you are going to be my class of one today,” Cody said. “The other students bailed.

“Oh,” Brent said. “Um… do you… um… want to cancel?” Brent was so hoping the man did not want to cancel. Brent was drawn to this guy. He had not had a feeling like this since he had been around Devyn. Even the tan shorts reminded Brent of the shorts Devyn often wore during the summer.

“No way man,” Cody said. “It will be more fun. We can get to know each other and really get you into your surfin’ stance.”

“Great!” Brent said, getting excited again.

Cody went over everything with Brent. He made sure that Brent really understood each step. Brent almost felt a connection to Cody that he had not felt since Devyn. It was not as strong as what he had felt with Devyn but there was something about Cody that pulled Brent to him.

The four-hour lesson was over all too soon for Brent. He wanted to spend more time with Cody and he had also enjoyed learning from Cody. “Do you think I am ready?”

“I think so,” Cody said. “I have another class this afternoon. We are going to go out and hit some easy waves. Why don’t you join us? I think having my one-on-one lesson has put you to the top of the class.”

“Really?” Brent said excitedly.

“I think you are as ready as the others will be,” Cody said, flashing Brent a smile.

Brent felt his heart jump at the kind words and that warm smile. “That would be great.”

Brent joined his Mom for lunch and then proceeded to tell her about the lesson and getting to join Cody for the afternoon.

“He seems like his old self,” Richard noted as they watched Brent hurry off to join the surfing class.

“He does,” Linda said. “I am so glad we gave him those lessons.”

“You were right,” Richard said, taking his wife’s hand and squeezing it. “It was definitely worth the expense.”

“This trip does seem to be exactly what he needed,” Linda said. “I can see our son coming back to us.”

Brent had a blast with Cody and the other students. He could not believe he was surfing in Hawaii. Brent had a few bad starts but by the end he was getting the hang of it.

“You really have a knack for it,” Cody told Brent.

“Thanks,” Brent said and felt his face blush a bit. They had just come in from their last run. The other students were heading off in their respective directions. Brent had been lingering to spend a little more time with Cody. The wetsuit clung to every solid plane of the guy’s body. Brent knew that he was wrong for scoping out Cody’s body but he could not help it. His eyes were drawn to the man. He was enjoying the solid muscles and lean physique of the instructor.

“I hope you continue to practice,” Cody said. “You could be good one of these days.”

“Um… thanks,” Brent said. “I really enjoy it. It is so much fun. Of course, at home I won’t have the opportunity to practice. We have nothing like this.” With a wave of his hand Brent indicated the beach and the waves.

“I know,” Cody said. “It is awesome here. It is one of the reasons I moved here.”

“I can’t imagine just picking up and moving like that,” Brent said. “Don’t you miss your family?” Cody had already told Brent that he did not have any family on the Islands. He had moved away from home and worked his way to Hawaii.

“My old man and I did not get along,” Cody said. “He didn’t understand me.”

“The surfing?” Brent asked.

“Well, he doesn’t understand surfing,” Cody said. “But he wasn’t happy with who I am.”

Brent helped Cody pack up the equipment. He helps him load the surf boards into the truck. “So did he want you to have a different career?”

“That he did,” Cody said.

“My parents haven’t really been happy with me lately either,” Brent confided.

Brent watched as the older boy started stripping off the wet suit. He watched as Cody’s fingers pulled down the zipper and revealed the smooth chest and tan skin. Brent’s eyes were glued to him as the guy stripped off the suit and eventually stood there in only a tight Speedo.

“You alright?” Cody asked.

Brent turned away from the attractive older boy. He could hear Dr. Wilson in his head. He knew he should be fighting harder to resist these feelings but he was not doing a particularly good job and pushing them down like he should. “Um… yeah,” Brent said and turned to lift equipment back into the truck. “You just kind of reminded me of a, um… guy I know.”

“A guy?” Cody questioned. “A friend you left back home?”

“Um… we aren’t really friends anymore,” Brent said. His face grew gloomy as he thought about Devyn. “I thought… Well, let’s just say he turned out to be not such a good friend.”

“Oh,” Cody said. He could see the change in the guy. The once sunny expression was gone and the kid looked like his puppy just died. “Did a girl come between you?”

“A girl?” Brent asked, pulling his thoughts back to Cody from his thoughts of Devyn.

“That is usually the thing that happens to good buds,” Cody said. “A girl breaks them apart.”

“Um… well,” Brent said, trying to come up with something to tell Cody.

“It’s cool bud,” Cody said and placed his strong hand on Brent’s bare back. “You don’t have to tell me but if you want to talk, I am here.”

Brent felt a tingle where Cody’s hand rested on his back. He could feel the heat of the man’s palm against his skin. If he closed his eyes, he could almost believe it was Devyn touching him.

“Um… thanks,” Brent said. “I am still working through it. I guess I am just not ready to talk about it.”

“No problem,” Cody said. “You want a lift back to your hotel?” Cody asked.

“Um… yeah,” Brent said.

“Um… can I join your class tomorrow?” Brent asked as Cody shuttled him back to the hotel.

“Um… I don’t know,” Cody said. “Tomorrow’s afternoon class is more advanced.”

“Please,” Brent almost begged. “I will stay out of the way. I will only take the baby waves.”

Cody looked at the pleading in the blue eyes. There was something about the kid that Cody liked. “Sure,” he said. “But only the waves I tell you are alright.”

“Awesome!” Brent said.

He spent the next afternoon and the one after that with Cody. Cody picked him up at the hotel and then drove him to the beach where they were learning. Brent was learning more about the instructor and the more he learned the more he liked the guy. If he weren’t careful, he could almost believe that Cody was Devyn. They had the same general body type although Cody was a bit more defined than Devyn. But the tan skin was the same and both guys were smooth. At least, the places Brent had seen were smooth. Cody’s skin was just as soft and sensual as Devyn’s. Cody’s shaggy hair was the same color but did not fall the same way as Devyn’s. The guy was also as easy going as Devyn and had a great sense of humor.

“Stop this,” Dr. Wilson’s voice echoed in Brent’s head. “These thoughts are not normal. They are perverted. You are exposing yourself to a bad influence.”

Brent pushed the voice down. He wanted this. He wanted this friendship. He wanted to hang around with this guy. He was on vacation and he wanted this. He could not have Devyn, and Cody was so warm and accepting.

Brent stayed after every class to help Cody with the equipment. He also enjoyed the one-on-one time it gave him with the guy. He was becoming very obsessed with Cody. It was all he talked about with his parents. He talked about the surfing, the lessons and how great Cody was.

“I think you might be using too much of this man’s time,” Richard said, after hearing Brent talking once again about his lesson and how cool Cody was.

“He is cool,” Brent said. “He is a great teacher. He knows so much about surfing and the islands.”

“I just don’t want a repeat of past mistakes,” Richard said.

“What, you don’t want me to have any friends?” Brent said. “You want me to just sit in this hotel suite and do nothing?” Brent could hear his voice getting louder. He wanted a friend, he wanted Cody. If he could not have Devyn then he should at least be able to have a friend like Cody.

“This vacation is for you to have fun,” Linda said. “We want you to enjoy yourself.”

“I am having fun,” Brent said. “Learning to surf has been a blast.”

“We just want to keep you out of trouble,” Richard said. “I do not want you to make a bad choice.”

“I’m sure you don’t,” Brent said. Getting up from the chair he heads towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Linda asks.

“For a walk?” Brent said. “I want to walk on the beach. Is that okay?”

He did not wait for an answer. He left the room and closed the door behind him. He wanted to just get away from his parents. He was tired of how his Dad was always watching him. He was tired of their disapproval and disappointment in him.

“Did you have to do that?” Linda asked Richard, her eyes flashing.

“I just don’t want him to make the same mistakes again,” Richard said.

“He is having fun,” Linda said. “Let him have fun. He needs it. He has been so down, so depressed. I want my happy son back.”

“We can’t have him…” Richard began but was cut off.

“Let him have friends,” Linda said. “He knows what he did and he won’t do it again. You pushing him is only going to end up making things worse.”

“I won’t have my son…” Richard began but was cut off.

“He is my son too,” Linda snapped standing. She glared at Richard. “The most important thing to me is for him to be happy. It breaks my heart to see him hurting and depressed. I want him to be happy.” She left the room then to walk off her own anger. She was having her doubts about what they had done forcing Brent and Devyn apart. It probably had just been a phase. Boys experimenting.

Brent walked along the beach. He loved the feeling of the warm sand on his toes. He loved the sound of the waves. He wished Devyn were here. He could imagine how much fun they would be having. They would have done the hike to the top of Diamond Head. They would have done the surfing lessons together. He was sure they would have gone to the Arizona memorial. Devyn was always into all that history stuff. He and his Mom were planning on going there before the end of the week. He was also sure that they would have been able to find some alone time. Some time to hold each other. Exploring sex with Devyn had been awesome but Brent missed the other stuff even more. He missed talking to his friend. He missed the casual touch. He missed those warm eyes and sexy lips. He could feel his eyes starting to burn with unshed tears at the thoughts of Devyn and their lost friendship.

“He was using you,” Dr. Wilson said in his head. “He was manipulating you. He was converting you into a perversion of nature.”

“You don’t know him,” Brent shouted in his head. “You don’t know how much he cared about me.” The war inside Brent was growing. He felt as though he would explode with the battle raging in his head.

“Hey Brent,” Brent turns and sees Cody walking towards him. His eyes locked onto Cody like a lifeline. Seeing Cody was enough to overwhelm the voice of Dr. Wilson inside his head.

Brent began walking towards Cody. He took in the sexy surfer in his open shirt, blue shorts, and sandals. The man was definitely hot. That lean muscular body and smooth skin. Again, it reminds Brent of Devyn. “Hey Cody!” Brent’s blue eyes sparkle with his excitement at seeing his teacher.

“What you up to?” Cody asks.

“Just walking,” Brent answers. “How about you?”

“I was just going to sit for a bit and chill out,” Cody said. “Want to join me?”

“Sure,” Brent answered and followed Cody. They talked a bit while they walked. Then they reached Cody’s destination. They had a secluded part of the beach. Cody strips off his shirt and stretches out on a large boulder that the wind had swept clean of sand.

“This place is awesome,” Brent said. “It is like, so private.”

“It is,” Cody said. “It is great to rest here. You mind putting this on my back?” Cody held out a tube of sunblock.

“Um sure,” Brent said.

Cody turned over giving Brent access to his back. “You do me and I’ll do you.”

Squeezing the sunscreen into the palm of his hand Brent looks over Cody’s muscular back. He reaches out and slowly at first begins rubbing the lotion into Cody’s tan skin. Massaging the muscles of Cody’s shoulders and down over the plane of Cody’s back. Memories of Devyn flood into Brent’s mind. He was remembering all the times he had touched similar tan skin.

Wow,” Cody said. “That feels good. You have a great touch.”

Brent could feel the lean muscles and smooth skin under his hands. He was remembering how good Devyn’s tan skin had felt. He could feel blood surging into his teenage equipment.

“Your turn,” Cody said. “Get that shirt off and I’ll work on your back.”

“Um sure,” Brent said. He pulled his t-shirt off and sat down so Cody could apply the sun block. As Cody’s callused hands touched him Brent’s heart started to race. He could feel currents of excitement surging through his skin. Everywhere Cody’s fingers touched him it was as if electrical current was going into him.

“With that blonde hair,” Cody began as his hand massaged the sun screen into Brent’s shoulders and back, “you need to be more careful about burning.”

“I have been using a lot of that since we got here,” Brent said. He was enjoying the strong hands gliding over his skin. It felt so good to have those hands on his bare skin. Brent remembers Devyn’s touch but Cody’s is different. Cody’s hands are more confident and Brent can feel the calluses as Cody is rubbing the sunscreen into Brent’s skin.

Cody had moved closer and was looking down over Brent’s shoulder. His body was almost pressing against the other guy’s. “I thought we were more alike than not.” Cody said. He was looking down over Brent’s shoulder at the large tent pole in Brent’s shorts.

“I… um… I,” Brent stammered. He started to pull away. He could feel the blood surging to his face with his embarrassment.

“It is alright,” Cody said, grabbing the younger boy and pulling him back. He slid his arms around Brent and held the other guy. “We are alike,” Cody said.

Brent felt the strong arms around him. He could feel the heat of Cody’s chest pressed against his back. He had not felt anything so good since Devyn had held him. Squeezing more sun block into his hand Cody says, “Just relax Brent.” Brent was watching the strong hands in front of him. He watched them and then felt them as they rubbed the sun block into his chest. “I have been attracted to you since that first morning.”

“You have?” Brent says not believing what was happening. His teenage erection jerked as Cody’s hands moved across his chest.

“You are one cute guy,” Cody says as he presses his chest against Brent’s back.

“You, um… like guys?” Brent says, closing his eyes and enjoying the feelings of the warm sun and the touch of the hot guy on his bare skin.

“I’m gay Brent,” Cody says into Brent’s ear.

“I… um… we can’t be doing this,” Brent says but his voice does not hold any conviction.

“If you want me to stop, I will,” Cody says. “But why do you think this is wrong? Is that boy you talked about, your boyfriend?

“I… um… this is, um… wrong,” Brent says, his voice sounding confused by the feelings surging through his teenage body.

“If it is because you are my student,” Cody begins, “that is only for a couple more lessons. Plus, we are close enough in age. I’m only 22.” Cody’s strong hands continued to move all over Brent’s chest and stomach and then slid up and down the teenager’s arms.

“Oh,” Brent said. “He wondered how old Cody thought he was. He started to say something but then decided it did not matter. Nothing mattered to Brent at that moment but enjoying the intimacy they were sharing.

“Yeah,” Cody says. Cody’s fingers were sliding across Brent’s chest. He teased the teenager’s nipples. He slid his hands down over Brent’s flat belly. “I was actually happy that no one else showed up for that class.”

“Oh really,” Brent said. “Um… me too.” He felt himself relaxing against Cody. He felt those strong arms holding him. He felt those strong hands caressing him. He then felt the hot breath on his ear. “I have wanted to do this since the first moment I saw you.” Cody kissed Brent’s ear then his neck.

“Ohoh,” Brent breathed as he lost himself in the sensations of man-to-man sensations. This feels so right. This feels perfectly natural. When he was with Tracy it did not feel like this.

“I guess you like this bonus lesson,” Cody said, his voice filled with the smile that was on his lips.

“Oh yeah,” Brent breathed. He turned his head and somehow his lips found Cody’s. The two kissed there with the warm sun caressing their skin.

The two stretched out on the flat boulder and kissed again. Brent’s hands sliding over Cody’s tan skin as Cody explored Brent’s lighter skin. “You blondes always have the sexiest golden tans.”

“Um… thanks,” Brent said.

Cody moved onto Brent. He covered the younger boy’s body with his own. He pressed his hardness against Brent. He kissed Brent’s warm lips. He felt Brent moan as their erections ground against each other. Brent’s memory was filled with the time he and Devyn had been just like this in that cabin on the camping trip. They had been in bed together like this and had ground their erections together. That had been the night they had realized just how much alike they were.

For Brent time seemed to stretch out. He was enjoying every sensation of Cody’s body. He was enjoying every kiss and touch. He loved the feeling of Cody’s hot skin under his hands as he ran them over Cody’s back and shoulders. He gripped Cody’s tight butt and wanted to feel those solid buns without the swim trunks in the way.

Cody rose then and held out a hand to Brent. “Come on,” Cody said.

“Where?” Brent asked, taking the offered hand and being pulled to his feet.

“Just trust me,” Cody said. Cody led Brent along the beach and to Cody’s beat-up van. “You are here for only a few more days, right?” Cody asked.

“Yeah,” Brent answered.

“Then I want to show you something,” Cody said and drove them across the island. The streets were more residential here. It looked and felt more like a neighborhood back home.

“People come to Hawaii but never get out of the tourist stuff,” Cody said. “Oh, don’t get me wrong that stuff is great. It is my bread and butter but there is more. There are hidden gems all over the place.”

Cody showed Brent those hidden places that many tourists never find. He was just enjoying spending time with the guy. Cody was like the cool big brother that Brent needed. He just seemed to be a great guy.

“You know when you first brought me back to your van,” Brent said after they had spent hours driving around the island. “I thought we were going to um… you know.”

“Just what kind of boy do you think I am,” Cody said.

“Well,” Brent began.

“I do not do this stuff very often,” Cody said. “I mean with a guy just visiting. It is too easy to get hurt but I felt we connected.”

“Me too,” Brent said excitedly. He was happy to know it was not one sided.

“I would of course enjoy exploring the physical side as well,” Cody said grinning. “You are so damn cute.”

“You are too,” Brent said.

Brent could hear Dr. Wilson in his head telling him he was being manipulated again. He was being tricked by this guy. He heard the words and pushed them away. He did not want to give this up. There was time enough to lock away these feelings when he got back home. There he would give this up. There he would lock away his feelings about other boys. But here and now he would enjoy them. For this moment in time, he would be that naive boy that fell for Devyn.

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