Castle Roland

I Never Stopped

by David Spowart

Short Story

I Never Stopped

Published: 27 Aug 15

I Never Stopped

David Spowart

The Usual warnings, this story may contain sex between to consenting adults, so if Male on Male sex offends you or your state or country forbids such material being read, please leave now. Or otherwise read on and enjoy. This story is the property of the author and is subject to the laws of Copyright © 2013, David Spowart. All rights reserved.

"Why is true love only expressed on Valentines" I asked.

"It's all just shit anyway" I said, looking at my old school friend. "Why is that Stan; you have no date to go to the ball?" Laurie asked. "Not bothered" I lied. "Still no sign of Gregg then?" she asked. "Nope, his mother is still acting up" I replied. I was thinking of my former lover of the past four years; but she was unaware of this latest development.

"Can you not go down and see him?" she asked. It was a good question with no good answer. "I wanted to go down, but I have work; I need to work" I lied.

"Excuses, excuses; take a vacation" she added.

"Stop changing the subject. Why is love mainly expressed on one day of the year; and why do simple minded, gullible people fall for it?" I asked, hoping she would let the latter subject drop. The real reason was that we split up, or taking a break; whatever the prelude to kaputzville is.

You see, I caught him in a three way with someone I had always thought was straight. He was Gregg's best friend; but now I was wondering what else he was.

"Look Mary, I wasn't going to say just yet, but Gregg moved out. We are sort of on a sabbatical from each other" I said, looking for a response.

"Are you okay?" she asked. "Yeah, just sucks" I replied. "So, you cheat, or did he?" she asked, digging for the juicy details. "Why do you assume someone cheated?" I asked. "Ohh, deflection; okay, spill" she said, finishing her drink.

"My round" I said, standing up.

"SIT!" she demanded in a tone that said spill or die.

I sat down and she waited for the answer. I have known her since I was nine, so I know she won't let up until I say something. "You know Steve Turner?" I started. "Yeah, Greggs friend" she replied. "I caught Steve and someone I didn't know ……well….servicing Gregg" I informed her.

"You're joking; I thought Steve was straight" she replied. "Mary, so did I, so did I" I repeated.

"Never liked him anyway, his eyes were too close together" she said with disdain.

"Oh, how wonderful hindsight is" I responded.

"Sorry; do you have any idea who this other guy was?" she asked, again, in her own inevitable way, kept digging. "I think he works with Gregg, but could be wrong" I replied.

"His timing is always on point" she added.

"Sorry, and what is that supposed to mean?" I asked

"The squabble you both had last year; wasn't that just before Valentine's day, as well?" she asked, and she was right. The 10th, 1 day before my birthday; his mother was ill again, but now I was wondering if he was using that excuse to fuck around on me. After all, I wasn't due home for another few hours when I caught them.

"I'm such a fucking soft touch and idiot" I added.

"No sweetie, just sometimes too trusting" she replied, squeezing my arm.

"We had been together quite a while, babe; so, shouldn't one expect trust?" I asked.

"So, what did the douche say when you caught them?" she asked, still digging. "Ohh, that's a good one; he asked me to help them get him off" I responded with anger in my voice.

"You are joking, right?" she asked.

"Nope. He then accused me of overreacting" I added.

"Yeah, but Gregg…..he had a rep in highschool, you do remember that" she added.

"Yeah, but that was with cheerleaders; and look how that turned out" I snickered, but somewhat forced. The thing is, though, I am not as bummed as I thought I should be.

"Okay, so, obviously, you are not looking forward to St. Valentines" she said, making a moot point. "Duhh" was my only response.

We talked about general things; her relationship with Scott, mainly. She had been with him right through highschool and college; you knew they loved each other very much, and I envied that.

"I need a beer" I stated, standing up. I was walking toward the bar when I spotted someone I never thought I would see ever again. I bought our drinks and headed back to our booth.

"What's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost" she snickered. I looked back and he was still sitting there. He looked up and saw me. He looked as stunned as I was. He smiled, but looked embarrassed doing it.

"What's wrong?" she asked again, my eyes not leaving his.

"Earth to Stan" she said, tapping the side of her beer bottle. "Ohh sorry, daydreaming" I replied. "So, you saw him, then?" she asked.

"You mean you knew he was here?" I asked. "No, not here; but yeah, I knew he was back" she replied. "When; and why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"He asked me not to, and he came back about a month or so ago. he said he saw you with another guy and that you looked happy, so he didn't come and see you" she replied. she looked over and spotted the first person who had my heart; and the way I feel about Gregg's betrayal right now, I think he still has a part of it.

"You still like him, don't you?" she asked.

"That was never the problem. He left when I was 19. He moved with his family, and I never thought he would come back here; I mean, why would he?" I asked, not really needing to hear an answer.

"Idiot" she replied.

"Sorry??" I asked.

"He came back for you; but you were with Gregg" she responded.

"Complications" she added.

"He left me, remember? I told him I loved him, but he still left me" I said, remembering how crushed I had been four years ago. Blake Harrison was the love of my life, but he left; and Gregg walked straight into my life when my defences were low.

I again turned and looked his way, but he was gone. The barman was clearing the table and wiping it down.

I was sad. Why didn't he at least come and say hi, I thought to myself.

"Hey" I heard him say, and I turned and saw him standing just behind me. "Hi, how are you doing, Blake?" I asked, my heart trying to leave via my chest.

"I need the ladies room" Laurie said, making her excuses to leave. Subtle, very subtle.

"You look good, Stan" he said, sitting opposite me. "What do you want, Blake?" I asked, being harsh. I was in no mood for memory lane right now.

"To talk" he replied, his dirty blond hair hanging around his face. He looked good; fuck, he looked very good.

"I thought we said all we had to 4 years ago" I replied.

"I had to go, Stan, you know that" he replied.

"You asked me for commitment. I told you I loved you, but you still left me. That almost killed me, Blake" I replied.

He looked at me with sadness evident in his eyes.

"Didn't take you long to get over me though, did it, Stan? I came back a month later, and you were with that red headed guy, so I left again" he replied. "I came back, but you had moved on" he added.

"You came back, when?" I asked. "Your birthday. I wanted to surprise you" he added.

"I came back a month ago and you were still with the same guy; so, is it serious?" he asked. "And that concerns you how?" I asked, being petty.

"My feelings have not changed Stan" he replied.

"Bullshit, don't pull the guilt trip card on me" I spat out. "Stan, I am not lying, look" he said, rolling up his shirt to show me a tattoo near his breast that read The contents within belong to one man, STAN He then rolled down his shirt.

"Wow, when did you have that done?" I asked.

"When I came back for your birthday" he replied.

"Stan, I know I have no right; but I do still have feelings for you, strong ones" he added.

"Stan" Laurie said, coming back to the table. "Stan, look" she said, pointing at the bar. "Fuck" I said to myself. "Oh, he's here; look Stan, I won't bother you again" he stood up, readying to leave.

"Hello Stan" Gregg said, walking toward the table; his friend Steve as his wing man. "Gregg" I replied, as coldly as possible. "Come to your senses yet?" he asked. "What?" replied Laurie. "Leave it, Laurie" I responded.

"Oh, so you told her, then?" He asked.

"She's my best friend, so why wouldn't I tell her you fucked around on me?" I replied, and that got Blake's attention. "It was a fucking blowjob, not an affair" he replied, trying to make it sound trivial.

"Gregg, just fuck off" I replied. "Your loss" he replied.

"No, not really; your loss, actually" Blake said, standing up.

"And what the fuck has……. Wait a minute…. Oh I see, the old boyfriend is back. How are you, Blaine?" he said, deliberately getting his name wrong. "Blake, don't please" I said, holding his arm.

"You see, asshole, I made an error in walking away from such an amazing guy; but you fucked around on him, for what? A cheap thrill? A quickie?" Blake asked, sounding more pissed than I was.

"I would have treasured him, and you throw him the fuck away" Blake finished, and started to walk out. "I still do" he said, looking at me, then left.

"Fucking dip shit" Gregg replied, and Steve laughed along with him.

"Fuck off, Gregg, and take your part time cocksucker with you" I said, and I never saw it coming. A blow to the side of my cheek sent me flying off of my chair. I looked up and Laurie was trying to help me up.

"Go away, Gregg, I think you know you have blown any chance now" yelled Laurie.

"What the fuck did I see in you, anyway?" Gregg replied, rubbing his fist. The next thing was a blur. Blake had left his keys on the table and saw me hit the floor; and the next thing was after Gregg said his piece. A bar stool cracked the back of Steve's back and he hit the floor with a thud. Then Blake went for Gregg,

Gregg landed the first blow, but it did not faze Blake. He took it and brushed it off. He kicked out at the back of Gregg's knee and he buckled. He dropped on his other knee and he levelled him with one punch. He looked into Gregg's groggy eyes and announces to the world:

"You ever lay so much as a fucking finger on a hair of his head, even look at him in a bad way, I will end you. Do you hear me, you fucking waste of air" and kicked him in the side to make sure he received the message. "Do I need to repeat myself?" he yelled.

Steve had gotten back to his feet, both hands up, wanting none of Blake. By this time, I was back up, rubbing my jaw; and it hurt like fuck. Blake just smiled and began to walk out of the bar.

"Blake, wait!" I yelled, running after him.

"Blake, please wait" I said, walking up to him standing beside his mustang.

"Thanks". I replied.

"I meant want I said, Stan. I still treasure you" he added.

"Come to dinner tomorrow; we can talk" I replied.

"Really? I would love that" he replied with a smile.

"Stan, can I ask you one thing, though?" he asked

"Yeah, sure" I replied.

"Has that douche ever hit you before?" he asked.

"No, not really" I replied, being vague.

"So, he has. For what reason?" he asked.

"He said I was sometimes less than enthusiastic when going down on him, and that I used too much teeth" I replied, looking somewhat embarrassed.

"I would have never laid a hand on you…..ever" he replied, putting his hand against my cheek. All the old feelings came pouring back. "I do still love you, Stan; I never stopped" he added. I did not know how to respond. the last time we were this intimate, and I was so honest and open, he left.

"Tomorrow Blake, okay?" I replied, walking away, needing some time to process what was going through my mind.

I walked toward Laurie's car. She was standing next to it, waiting. Before I opened the door, the sheriff's truck pulled alongside us. "Hey Stan, Billy called. You okay, buddy?" Jimmy, my cousin asked. "Yeah Jimmy, just finishing some necessary business" I replied.

"Is it sorted now, or do I need to get involved?" Jimmy asked.

"No Jimbo, it's sorted" Blake said, walking toward us. Jimmy got out of his truck and looked square eyed into the expression of Blake. "Is that a fact?" Jimmy responded, spitting on the ground with chewing tobacco. "Yep, it's a fact, Jimbo" Blake replied.

"And how are you involved, may I ask?" Jimmy said, sounding somewhat serious. "I made it my business" he replied.

"Damn it, boy…..Blake, it's damn good to see you, boy!" Jimmy replied, grabbing his high school best friend. "How long you been back?" he asked. "A month or so" Blake replied, looking at me. "A fucking month and you have not been to see me or Mary Sue" he scolded.

"Sorry man, you are Stan's cousin; and, well, I didn't want to cause trouble" Blake replied, again looking at me. "Trouble, fuck….. Blake, you were my best friend before you two hooked up" he reminded him.

"Oh, so is this what the ruckus was about, you two fighting?" he asked. "No, Gregg was being an ass" I replied. "Dude, he's your boyfriend; you shouldn't be fraternising with exes in front of him. Fuck, Stan, even a dumb hick like me knows that" he laughed out.

"Jimmy, we are not together anymore. I caught him being blown by his so called straight friend and another guy" I spat out, saying too much.

"Straight friend, who?........Steve? No, not Steve. You sure?" he stuttered. "Positive" I replied.

"Look, I'm bushed. Laurie, you ready?" I asked, and she climbed into her car and started the engine. "Blake, I will see you later, okay?" I said with a smile. "And Jimmy, as always" I said smiling. "Later, Cuz" he responded, and Laurie drove me back home.

"So?" she asked.

"So, what?" I asked.

"Are you going to see him again, cause I think we can safely say you and Gregg are history" she again pointed out the obvious. "He's coming for dinner tomorrow" I responded.

"Good! It would be nice to see you appreciated, not taken for granted" she said, pulling in the driveway outside my home. I couldn't disagree with her words; I had been taken for granted by Gregg, I just never saw it.

"Good night, Laurie" I kissed her and she drove off. My jaw was beginning to smart some, so I opened the door and went straight to the fridge. I grabbed a tea towel and poured an ice tray into it and placed it over my jaw….bliss.

Knock! Knock!

I walked to the door and opened it.

"Hey" Blake said.

"Hi, I thought you were coming over tomorrow" I replied

He leaned in and kissed me on the lips; the most sensual kiss I had received in years. Gregg was not one for much affection. He was a selfish lover, I could clearly see that now.

"Blake" I whispered as our lips parted.

"Sorry, I couldn't wait any longer to kiss you" he whispered, my forehead against his. "I am as in love with you now as I was four years ago, Stan; I can't help it" he added.

"Blake, please…….I need time to think. I need to know what I am feeling. You hurt me so much when you left; I mean, how do I know you won't do it to me again?" I asked.

"Stan, you told me you loved me; is it loved, or love? Stan, what do you feel for me now?" he asked.

"Love" I whispered, "but I need to know if I can trust you not to break my heart. I don't think it would heal this time" I replied. "Stan, I would kill myself rather than hurt you. I love you, you must believe me" he begged, his forehead still pressed against mine.

"Come inside, it's getting cold" I said, pulling him inside.

I looked at the clock, it had just turned midnight.

"Happy Birthday, Stan" he whispered into my ear. he licked the outside of my lobe and came around and again kissed me with his soft, tender lips. I was like jelly in his hands. I had always been that way when he touched me; he could melt me with his touch. That is why it hurt so much when he left.

"I'll get you some blankets; you get the sofa" I said, removing his body from mine, before I do something I hope I would never regret. I want so badly to open my heart up to him again, I just don't know if I am capable of doing so, yet.

"Okay, that's fine; but Stan, believe me when I say I will love you for as long as I breathe" he said, taking off his shirt, revealing his perfect torso and that tattoo next to his breast.

"I want so much to believe that, Blake; perhaps someday soon I can, just wait, okay?" I replied. I walked down the hall and retrieved some blankets and a sheet. I walked back and he was crying. "Blake, what's wrong?" I asked, sitting next to him.

"I can't believe I am getting a second chance to prove myself to you, Stan" he sobbed. "Blake, I want so much for you to be real; I just need to believe it, okay?" I replied, kissing his forehead.

"Good night Blake, see you in the morning" I said, turning off the side light.

"Good night, Stan……Love you!" he said as I climbed the stairs with a grin so wide it could last forever.

"I love you, Blake; I never stopped" I said so softly that only I could hear.


I woke to the smell of cooking, bacon if I was not mistaken; then I remembered Blake being downstairs, and obviously he was cooking himself some food. "Good morning" he said, walking into my bedroom, tray in hand. "Breakfast in bed for the birthday boy" he said, kissing the side of my cheek. "Thank you" I said, taking the tray.

"I didn't know if you would like juice or coffee, so I brought both" he added with a smile. "You shouldn't have" I said. "You don't have to do this for me" I added. "Why not; I wanted to" he added. "Blake, why did you leave?" I asked.

"Because you looked happy, I left and I had no right to fuck up your life" he replied.

"No, the first time, I meant" I replied.

"Dad" he responded.

"Your Dad, what about him?" I asked.

"He hit. He hit mom a lot. If I didn't go, he would have ended up killing her. Then there was Lilly to consider, Stan. She was 11, she couldn't take a beating. I had to go, to protect them" he said, and he was right. It must have been as hard for him to leave as it was for me to see him leave.

"But you came back" I added.

"He was sentenced. He went away for 20 years for assault on Mom, and on me; but he killed a shopkeeper in Accrington. Mom divorced him. She's married again now, Stan, and she is so happy. They have moved to Florida. I came back to see you as soon as he was sent down, but you were with the douche bag" he added.

"So, you came back and saw me with Gregg" I replied.

"Stan, how did you saddle yourself with that idiot, anyway?" he asked, sitting on the corner of my bed. "I was at an all-time low, I was getting depressed; he was nice to me at first, then he just sort of took over" I replied.

"Don't get me wrong, he was not violent, not really; he just liked to be in control, that's all" I added. I knew that sounded lame.

"Stan, I know his sort: Me 1st, Me 2nd, and Me 3rd; he is an ass" Blake added. "I would never, ever try to overshadow you. I like equality, and we had that, didn't we?" he asked. I nodded. "Stan, if it wasn't for my dad, I would have never left your side" he said, stroking my cheek; jelly again.

"Look Stan, we can talk more about this later, but today is your 24th birthday; so get up and let's go do some stuff, make a day of it" he said.

"Okay, but can I eat first?" I said, grabbing a piece of bacon from the plate. "Sure, anything you want babe" he said, again kissing my cheek. My cock was now joining the party. The one part of my body ''not ''joining the jelly theme.

He left the room to eat his breakfast and grab some needed coffee; I ate and quickly joined him in the kitchen. "So, where are you staying?" I asked.

"A motel on the interstate" he replied.

"What about the B-n-B in town" I asked.

"Didn't want it to seem I was stalking you. I was just going to make sure you were as happy as you seemed to be; then I was going to reluctantly leave you be" he responded.

"And now?" I asked

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away now, Stan" he replied.

"I will move my stuff into the B-n-B this afternoon" he added.

"No, don't do that" I said, and his gaze dropped to the floor. "No, not that; move in here, you know, until you get settled. I will sort out the spare room. It's full of junk right now, but we can sort it out in no time" I added.

"You sure, Stan?" he asked.

"No, not really, but yeah, I want you close" I replied.

"Thank you" he responded.

"Baby steps" I added.

"Anyway you want is fine by me; I have no problem in courting you again" he added.

"I seduced you, if I remember rightly" I reminded him.

"No, babe, that's what I wanted you to think. I had you in my sights since I was 16" he smirked, while washing the dish he used for breakfast. "I didn't ask you out until I was 17" I added. "Stan, you are six months older than me" he replied.

"Dad gave me a thrashing when he found out I was dating a guy. He also beat mom real bad" he remembered sadly. "I hope he's getting butt fucked by a big old bubba with a 12" dick" he said, with not a little venom.

"Sorry, Blake, you told me you fell off your off-road bike, and I believed you. You should have told me the truth" I replied. "I didn't want you to worry about me" he responded softly, looking out of the window. "He's in prison; he's been there for almost four years. He won't get out until he is a very old man" he added.

He turned and faced me. He moved close, almost nose to nose. "I have a chance to get the man I love back; he cannot fuck that up" he added, kissing the tip of my nose. "I just have to get you to see that I am where I have to be" he added, and my heart swelled.

"Despite the gulf that has been between us, Stan, I know that you still love me; I can see it in your eyes. I feel it when I touch your skin, your cheeks blush when I stroke the hair out of your eyes. I know it will take a bit of time, but Stan, I will get there; ''we'' will get there" he added.

"I've always loved you; that isn't the problem, Blake. It's just a nagging doubt in my head, saying, ‘he can leave as fast as he came back, he has no ties here'" I said still facing him.

"I have the biggest tie in the world, babe…..YOU" he responded.

"And just in case you don't think I am being true here, listen to this. My intensions are these: I see us married at some point in the near future; a couple of kids as well. Not straight away, but definitely kids are part of the equation. Yeah, married with kids" he ended.

"You see us married?" I asked, stunned at his statement. "Yes, I do. I love you; there is no stronger commitment of love than that of marriage" he replied.

"Why, don't you see that possibility?" he asked.

"I did……once" I responded.

"I will win that feeling back, Stan, believe me" again, the kiss on my nose, and then my lips, and whoa, jelly city.

"Okay Birthday boy, what do you want to do today? Anything you want; just name it" Blake asked and I just looked at him. I knew exactly what I wanted. Today is my birthday and Valentine's Day is three days away. However, I don't want to wait for my present.

"Well Stan, what do you want to do?" he repeated.

I reached out and pulled him tight to my body. I wanted to feel him close; his scent was like a memory lost, but now regained. "Stan?" he asked.

"Make love to me, Blake. I want…no, I need you to make love to me" I said, kissing his top lip.

"Are you sure Stan? I want to so badly; but I don't want you to regret it later" he replied, kissing my forehead. "I have never regretted you, so take me to bed" I whispered.

He picked me up and carried me upstairs; his strength evident as he did not miss a step. He carried me in his arms like he was carrying a small package he cared for. "I am going to make love to your body all day" he said with that cheeky smirk of his.

"I will hold you to that" I smiled up at him. he lowered me softly onto the bed. I began to unbutton my shirt. "Stop; please, just stand. I have dreamed of this for so long, let me do that" he said, as he slowly, while kissing me, stripped me slowly and sensually.

I was soon naked; he stripped off his own clothes quickly and lay on top of me and smiled. "Hi, I've missed you so much" he said, before kissing me once more. "I've missed you" I smiled, and I was not lying. Gregg had been a distraction; a bad one at that. He just used me.

"How long has it been?" I asked. "Sex?" he asked. "Babe, the last person I had sex with was you" he added. "Honestly?" I asked. "Yeah, I'm your swan" he added.

"I've had sex, but nobody has made love to me." Gregg was incapable of such passion. "I intend to remind you each day of what it feels like to be loved" he said, looking deeply into my eyes. He took his time opening me up; he did it gently with no rush. The preparation was part of his foreplay, I remember it so well. He had me wanting him more and more as he worked.

Until I was tested, since Gregg had not been careful, I insisted on protection. He protested, but he relented. I reached over and opened the drawer and retrieved the lube and condoms. He poured plenty on his fingers and worked my ass until it was slick.

I helped him put on his condom and he was ready. He worked my hole a few seconds more, then replaced it with a memory I had not forgotten; he entered me slowly and watched as my eyes disappeared into my head.

"Oh, I remember how this feels" I said, as he began to pick up the pace. "As do I" he replied. He moved my legs to the side as his cock worked like a piston; he was making every sinew of my body scream. This man loved me and was proving it.

"Oh Blake, I have dreamed about this for so long" I screamed, as his pace quickened. I was getting very close and he knew it. This was a prelude to a day of lovemaking, and, unlike that douche, as he called Gregg; Blake liked me to make love to him. However, I preferred him being the dominant one. I had always liked it that way; dominant, but not overpowering.

"I'm close, Blake" I moaned. He pulled out of me and lowered his mouth over my pulsing cock, and that was enough to erupt a load for the memory books. I shot several loads into my lover's mouth and he never missed a drop.

He came up and kissed me. I tasted myself on his lips. He then re-entered me and began to piston fuck me again. I could tell he was close. "Feed me, Blake" I begged. He pulled out, removed the condom, and came around the side of the bed. He jerked a couple of seconds then slid his erupting cock deep into my mouth. This was a taste I remembered so well; he had not changed.

I licked and cleaned every drop he was offering me. I knew throughout the day there would be more on offer; but this was the first in four long, hard years. He collapsed on top of me as we came down from a post orgasmic bliss. He pulled me tight to his body. I loved his hugs, especially after sex.

"We will have a rest babe, then round two" he informed me.

"Blake" I said

"Yeah" he replied.

"I love you" I responded.

"As much as I love you, babe" he replied, and I smiled. I was home, and I was not letting him leave. Not this time.

The End…………..For Now.

Another one of my short offerings. I may at some point add a second story to this one. I won't serialise as I have enough of those. For new readers of mine, all my stories are listed in authors under my name: David Spowart. And please comment at