Castle Roland

My Years of Discovery

by David Spowart

In Progress

Chapter 3

Published: 4 Jan 16

My years of Discovery

By Dave Spowart
Edited by Jerry M

I had not seen Chad for two whole days. We texted at every opportunity, but no physical contact; and I needed intimacy. Our camping trip was tomorrow, but I still haven't received details on where we were going. I had baseball practice in an hour, and Chad had football training at the same time; so, perhaps more details would be forthcoming. At least I hoped so.

"Jameson, eyes on me" yelled the Coach for the second time. "Yes Coach, sorry Coach" I apologised, for the second time. Chad was not at practice. He hadn't texted me to say there was a problem. I finished up practice, showered, said my good byes to the rest of the squad, and headed back to my dorm room; my solitary confinement. Since chad had moved out, I had plenty of spare time for uninterrupted jack-off sessions; with Chad the only other person in my fantasies.

The sound of my cell vibrating stopped my fantasising, and I answered.


"Is this Brian Jameson?" someone asked.

"Yeah this is Brian" I replied.

"Okay sir, you better come and get your friend" He replied.

"Sorry, who is this?" I asked.

"Bobby. I am the bartender at the Blue Lobster on 19th and Maple; and you friend Chad is a bit wasted" he replied.

I called a cab and headed downtown to the named bar. I got out, spotted Chad's car in the parking lot across the street, and walked into the bar. The bartender noticed I was looking for someone. "Brian?" I nodded, and he pointed to a booth; where Chad was out cold, and stinking of booze. "Hey Chad...Chad...come on man...wake up". I shook him.

"Ermmmmm, Brian...wha...what you doing" Chad slurred out. "Come on man.....where's your car keys?" I asked, patting his pockets. "Stop...stop that, you're going to give me wood" he said, trying to pull me down on top of him. "I'm gonna make your...ass...cry" he said into my ear.

"Chad, come on dude...where are your keys?" I demanded, and the barmen held them up, jiggling them. "He was going to drive. That's when I took his keys, and he gave me your number" the bar-tender replied.

"Good! I will go get his car and pull out front. Can you help me get him to the car?" I asked, and he agreed. "Anything to get rid" he said. Ten minutes and a vomit hurling contest later, we were heading back to campus. "Dude, I hope security doesn't spot us, or your ass is grass" I yelled at him, totally pissed off.

"Chad, will your friend be in? You don't have keys dude" I asked him, as I knew I couldn't take him back to campus. If security caught him in this state, he would be kicked out.

"The fucker kicked me out" Chad yelled, looking at me.

"Why?" I asked, hoping his cover had not been blown.

"He said I cramp his love mojo" he spat out. "You mean his girlfriend has complained" I replied. "She hasn't been over since I moved in. I think that's the problem" he responded, before re-joining his vomiting contest.

"Ideas ?" he asked. "What do you mean?" I asked in return. "Bri, I am homeless" he responded, and a tear appeared in his eyes; probably the constant vomiting being the cause.

"Move back in with me" I replied. "I can' know why" he replied. "Okay, sleep on the floor in the passage" I spat out. Arguing with a drunk at this time of night was not on my to do list. "Brian, don't be pissed at me. I don't think his excuse was right. I have a problem when I sleep" he started.

"Oh fuck...I talk in your sleep...shit I forgot about that" I said, and he nodded in agreement. "It's just, I went to bed, he was fine; no arguments, no falling out, he got laid at his girlfriend's place so he was happy. But when I woke up this morning, his attitude toward me had changed" he answered.

"So, do you think you talked about me?" I asked, with my hand now on his neck, while sitting on the hood of my car. "I was dreaming about you, so, yeah" he responded; shirking my hand away, in case anyone spotted him.

"Chad, we are supposed to be going camping tomorrow anyway; so stay the night, and we can leave first thing. We have to pick up the tents from the hire shop anyway, so stay" I said to him, and he reluctantly agreed.

"Chad if anyone asks, you came over for the rest of your stuff; so stop freaking out" I reasoned, and a shallow smile appeared on his face.

We entered the room, and closed and locked the door. Nobody saw us enter so no panic from Chad. He pulled me close and kissed me. "It won't always be like this" he said, as I pulled away. "Mouthwash—bathroom-- now" I told him. Vomit breath was never a turn on for anyone. "Sorry Bri" he replied, and wobbled uneasily to the bathroom.

I waited for a short time then went in. He was slumped on the floor next to the toilet bowl, snoring his head away. Did I pick him up and put him to bed? Nope! Covered him with a blanket and left him right where he lay...drunken sod.

I went to sleep; as that is where I should have been, anyway. I was awakened about four in the morning by Chad climbing onto the bed and lying beside me. He whispered, "Sorry Bri" and went back to sleep. I smiled, and was comforted by his words and his soft snoring.

He woke me up just after nine. "Bri, are you coming with?" he asked. "Ermmm, what?" I yawned out. "Camping. You coming with me to collect?" he asked. "Oh, yeah. Just give me a sec" I replied, hauling myself out of my bed, and ran to the bathroom to piss off the morning flow. The smell of vomit still evident; despite the fact he had cleaned.

"Needs a scented candle in there for the weekend" I responded when I came out of the bathroom. "Yeah, sorry about that" he said apologetically. "No worries. It's not like I have never been sick" I responded.

"Yeah, but" he replied. "Okay! Coffee first, then we will get the stuff" he added. And coffee sounded good right about now, anyway.

"I am looking forward to this" I replied. "You've not been camping before?" he asked. "Not the camping; just spending some quality time with you" I replied, with my face blushing a certain shade of red. "Yeah, I feel ya" he replied.

I went downstairs first, so we didn't get spotted leaving together. He walked the opposite direction, and left via the fire escape; walking around the dorm building, coming from the other side. "Hey, you ready?" he asked, acting like he had just arrived. "Yeah, thanks" was my response, and to be honest not liking it at all. But I get to spend some time with Chad, so I bit my lip.

"When we get to the store, I will check to make sure the coast is clear, okay?" he informed me. "You are kidding ...right?" I responded. "No Brian. I don't need any shit from anyone so ...please!" he pleaded. "Yeah, okay...I hope this shit ends soon, though" I replied. "Thanks", and he squeezed my leg.

"Coffee first" he added. We had a coffee at Starbucks first, and then he left before me. This was already really beginning to irritate me. "Closet cases" I could hear Cath say. I saw him enter the camping store and he waved me over. I walked in and the paranoia I discovered was Chad. He never stopped watching the parking lot to make sure nobody he knew saw him. "Really Chad?" I said, as I walked past him.

"Sorry" was his reply. We selected what we needed for the weekend. We were looking at some fishing gear, when someone he knew spotted him. He panicked and shoved me hard into the dressing room. "What the fuck!!" I yelled, now getting really pissed. Look, I like him, and I mean really like him; but fuck, I am not ashamed of who or what I am. And fuck all if I am going to hide in a changing booth.

"Hi Chad. Going camping?" a voice asked. I did not recognise the voice. I stood back up, opened the curtain, and walked past; not making eye contact with either of them. I was hurt, and not just my ass.

I looked behind as I walked out of the shop. Chad briefly looked at me and went back to his conversation. "Bad move, Chad. Real bad move" I said to myself, as my emotions were building. "I deserve better than this" I said to myself, as I walked out of the parking lot.

I walked the few miles back to campus. I sat in my dorm room for a couple of hours and he never tried to make contact. So, hurt?...Yeah.

Several hours passed when I received a text message simply stating Sorry; and all I thought was, too late Chad! Far too fucking late. Be round in 20 the next text came. I responded simply Don't fucking bother I don't need this. I could have fallen deeper than I have; but right now I am just hurt, and my sister is right. Closet cases break my heart. Luke, in high school, and Danny; now fucking Chad.

But there was something about Chad that was different. I mean Luke was all about the sex, and Danny was shy. He wanted the same things as me; but he was a Soccer dude. He didn't ever plan on coming out. Chad, I don't know. I mean, he is an adult. When does he plan on growing balls and standing up.

20 minutes or so later:

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"Come on Bri, open up. I just want my stuff" he shouted through the door. "What? Oh, still acting" I replied. "Please Brian" he added. "Chad, do yourself and me a favour, and just fuck off" I said, standing at the door. "Please. Let me in?" he asked. "Chad, you made me feel like a piece of shit" I replied with some scorn.

"Brian, that was Liam. He is in my trig class. I don't need shit" he replied. "And what? I do?" I responded. "Chad just go" I replied.

"Can I just talk to you...please" he replied. I opened the door; he walked in. He tried to pull me into an embrace; but I shrugged him off. "Bri you agreed to keep this on the down-low" he informed me. "Yeah, I did, but this; this, Chad. You made feel cheap and shitty" I spat out. I feel like your shameful, dirty little secret" I spat out with more scorn.

"I don't want this. I need to be respected. I need to be seen for who and what I am, Chad. You are hiding; and from what? Your so called friends?" I berated him. "I will tell you this for free. If they don't accept you for you, they aren't worth shit" I informed him. His face looked shocked.

"I don't need this, Brian. Honestly, I don't need this" he yelled at me, and walked out of the room. I sat down again on my bed. My very brief relationship with the sex god was at an end. I was out, he wasn't; and never saw the day he would be.

I lay on my bed and decided to have a short nap; my sleep not being all that good from the previous night. I had no idea where he was going to sleep. He had the camping equipment, and besides, it was no longer my problem. I liked him a lot. He liked me a lot. But...and I mean but...he isn't ready.

I received a text at about 2am and I couldn't focus on it. I sat up and tried to read the short message. I was shocked when I saw those words:

Brian I am sorry for my hang-up, but I don't know how to handle this. Brian I Love you end of message.

To be continued...

Okay guys end of third chapter and sure some of you relate to this. And as usual email me at


Previous ChapterNext Chapter